Sunday, December 26, 2010

The Twelve Days of Gheorghe-mas: Day Ten

On the Tenth day of Gheorghe-mas, Big Gheorghe gave to me (more than) ten past-year memories...


Nine Clips You Tubin'
Eight Wren-based Nuggets...
A Seven Point Loss;

Six games worth watching (and picking);
Five Combined Wins;
Four Compliments For T.J.
;
Three French Hens;
Two Dope-ass Rhymes (and a whole mess of sub-par ones as well);
And a Doofus Dancing (Amidst a Really Long and Grumpy Analysis of the New Kanye West Album)
.


As I perused the archives looking for the best of G:TB's 2010 offerings, several trends emerged. Old favorites returned with a vengeance, then went away. G:TB entered a wide range of new technological realms as we dropped science 140 characters at a time and casted pods. Zman gave us musical wisdom, Mark made us smarter about football and basketball, Dave was, well, Dave was prolific. Whitney left us, sadly, but in Igor we found a more than adequate shoe-filler. TR's prediliction for the gross was offset by his well-timed storytelling, and Dennis made up in quality what he lacked in quantity. (Not really, but I remember what Thumper's daddy said.)

But the most striking thing about G:TB's 2010 catalogue will cause management to make some changes. As soon as we figure out who's been responsible for our conditioning, we're sacking that sumbitch. The truth hurts sometimes, but pain's good for you, so long as it doesn't kill you. Or something. Sadly, it's clear that stamina is an issue with our staff. Compare the quality of our content after August with that which preceded it, and it's clear that we began cramping just as football season started, gasping and wheezing our way to the finish line. We didn't post a complete thought the entire month of November. Hell, we might not even complete Gheorghe-mas.

So it's into the gym, my friends. KQ's working on a regimen to ensure that we can run through the tape in 2011. And you wouldn't want to disappoint KQ.

Despite the late-season decline, Team G:TB did deliver some excellent work in 2010. We started even before the year did,
as we celebrated William and Mary's hoops win over Maryland
in style, despite Shlara's navigational challenges, and Mark and Rob made New Year's resolutions in the comments that they both kept. Partially.

TR's
1997 letter to the late, lamented Gheorghe: The Internet Magazine resurfaced, and we learned that 13 years didn't diminish its power.

The Wrens opened the year ranked #2 in the RPI after wins over Richmond, Wake Forest, and Maryland.
For real. The apocalypse we feared did not materialize.

A fat guy and a skinny guy bundled up
and went to a Jets game, where a food porn mag broke out.

2010 was the Year of
Greasetruck at G:TB, as we dropped no fewer than 12 new tracks from our house band.

Gheorghe: The Podcast predicted the entire year, starting strong and petering out. It did, however, launch Teejay's radio career.

The late, lamented Whitney
declaimed on haggis. And wasn't the only celebrant of sheep intestines.

We delivered multiple official G:TB
Olympic previews, reviews, and overviews. Just go look in January and February.

Zman fancied himself a
Romanian ice skater.

Whitney had a
rough trip to Vegas, but at least he thought it was a mediocre destination.

Mark gave
G:TB's take on the NBA dunk contest, among several sports-related posts that were probably too good for the venue.

G:TB's not an authoritative source on many things, but our team knows music. Zman brought the goods on tunes all year long, starting with this
shoutout to the Whitefield Brothers.

The
Wrens made it two CAA finals in three years. And we waxed all poetical. There was NIT action, too.

The G:TB editorial roster expanded several times in 2010, as our dedicated readership offered us insights on
hockey (Work Jerry), the KFC Double Down (Marls), and footie (my man Otis). In general, all of these posts were better than the usual dipshittery.

The man killed Whitney.
Long live Igor

Tauntaun sleeping bag!

Z
gets all cultural up in here, and teaches us a thing or two about wooing the ladies.

G:TB sponsored our first
circus peanut diorama contest.

Rob
reached his writing pinnacle, getting G:TB published in The Atlantic. The rest of his life will be a pale echo.

The Summer of Dave kicked off early with the
first of his insightful interview series.

In which Igor explored
vajazzling.

The Teej continued his mastery of the YouTubes. I've chosen this one to represent all that was good and ohmygodisthatridiculous about the year in video.



Dave
previewed the World Cup, and so did Zman.

TR,
dude. Dude!

Dave was a force of nature from
May to September, though his fertile mind churned so quickly that he couldn't stop it before he admitted to liking Dane Cook. He nearly made up for it by rending a hole in the space-time continuum. For his efforts, Summer Dave was voted the 2010 G:TB MVP. Rest of the year Dave is on notice.

Rob turned 40, fixated on the large hadron collider and South Carolina politics.

TR learned at the feet of the master. Or at least at the
train seat of the master. Ladies were sexed.

Mr. Truck at G:TB corporate gave us our
first performance review. We're still waiting on our raises.

The Ghoogles came back!

TR ranked the
4th through 10th best baseball cards sets of the 1980s.

Teejay met Screech.

The
Zman announced the Zbaby. We don't think its Mark's.

I'm not sure that any posts in October were longer than three sentences, but the Teej did
start and not finish a new feature.

The Z
got all wordy on the Bills. Again.

One of the scions of the Internet
was mean to Rob. It's not a goddamn upset.

Merry Gheorghemas, friends. May 2011 be a damn sight better than 2010.


69 comments:

zman said...

KQ is going to help us with our stamina?

rob said...

i don't make this stuff up, z. i just write it down.

rob said...

next post breaks the record for most posts in a year.

Dave said...

that's a sweet trip down memory lane.

what a year. one more post and we'll be gheorghepedia (at least for circus peanuts, mascots, south carolina politics, and lycra).

TR said...

Happy Boxing Day! Strong effecting, Robbie.

Northern NJ currently in "freak out about upcoming storm" mode. Too bad you can't but beer before noon on Sundays.

T.J. said...

We must seriously all share the same brain, as I just made a Teddy Atlas/Boxing Day tweet.

Dave said...

i just put some extra beer in the fridge and it's started snowing. just rented the boys skis for the season-- hoping we can get some practice on the hill by my house today.

T.J. said...

I've made it this far in a Survivor Pool. If the goddamn Jags lose to the Redskins I am gonna go fucking ballistic.

T.J. said...

Danimal, were you a Skins guy who switched to Jags? I would think so...

zman said...

What's worse: rooting for a team with a cheap owner who doesn't care about winning anymore, or rooting for a team with a spendthrift owner who makes terrible decisions? I'm honestly not sure which is more frustrating, but to help bring some facts into the analysis, here's a (poorly written) piece on the McNabb situation.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=5956686

T.J. said...

My lack of voice cost me another radio appearance Xmas Eve night.

T.J. said...

Unreal. Jags can suck a dick.

Mark said...

Grossman. Swaggering.

T.J. said...

Jets blow. Day starting poorly.

T.J. said...

I really enjoy watching the Chieves play. It's almost like Charlie Weis knows what he's doing.

rob said...

cooley, you venus de milo bastard

T.J. said...

NBC is pre-empting The Biggest Loser to show Eagles/Vikes?
/Brett Favre Joke

TR said...

Jets just put up 2 TDs in 64 seconds. 5 seconds too quickly, IMO.

TR said...

Bears' pass D is awful. Sanchise was 7 for 7 for 89 yds in the first quarter. In a snowstorm.

TR said...

Vernon Gholston's football instincts are amazingly awful. He has no idea what he's doing out there. Every time I think it can'tget worse, he sucks anew.

T.J. said...

Ed Reed is so silly.

Dave said...

no deep throat jokes about how tj lost his voice?

are we taking the high road now?

T.J. said...

I took the high road five minutes ago actually...

TR said...

Is the Bears D supposed to be good? They area shit-show today. Acting like they don't even want to be there. I would've expected that from the Jets, since they won't BR able to fly home tonight.

T.J. said...

Refs trying to help me out.

David Garrard has strong hands.

Marls said...

The Eagles postponed an NFL game because of snow?


Weenies.

TR said...

I didn't realize the cancelled game was the night game. Will leave me confused at 8 PM tonight.

T.J. said...

Watch the Little Seizures Bowl.

T.J. said...

What kind of coverage was that Jets DB?

T.J. said...

Horrendous showing for the Bills today.

TR said...

Troy Smith and Singletary just got into it in a big way on the sidelines. Soon-to-be fired vs soon-to-be-3rd string.

TR said...

Jets D fails.

T.J. said...

Ted Ginn also threw a towel in Smith's face during exchange, which was odd.

Dave said...

i'm going outside into the snowpacolypse. i can't watch another new york team blow a big lead, it's going to be hard enough to come out of retirement and watch the giants today.

TR said...

Unlikely barnburner in Chi-town.

T.J. said...

Jim Belushi...proff that the world is not fair.

Marls said...

Came her to make a Jim Belushi defenders joke and Jim Nantz beat me to it.

zman said...

Where's drexdrago to defend the Eagles' collective honor?

Marls said...

I suspect he is crushing Coors Lights in Cherry Hill with Joel.

Marls said...

Perhaps Reynolds can post and defend the honor of Weenies.

zman said...

69 points in the snow?

T.J. said...

Troy Smith seemed to be right.

T.J. said...

Jeff Reed just choked a kick for 49ers.

zman said...

How bout them Jagwires?

T.J. said...

I hate the Skins.

Marls said...

Jag U ars!!!!

zman said...

The Bills gave up 217 rushing yards to a team that averages 112.5 rushing yards per game, and 197 went to the deadly 1-2 combo of BenJarvus Green-Ellis and Danny Woodhead, who averaged 7.3 ypc between them.

Terrible pick for the Sanchize.

Marls said...

The agony of de-Feet.

Sorry

zman said...

Or 6.2 ypc. Whatever. The Bills are bad at football.

zman said...

Rex's foot fetish will be an over-arching theme for tomorrow's headlines.

rob said...

garrard owes the teej money

T.J. said...

Ugh. I couldve used that dough.

zman said...

Who's faster: TJ or #25 for the Giants?

T.J. said...

Chad Henne had a good day, eh?

And Mike Tolbert looks dead.

Marls said...

Dave, at least we wont have to watch the Giants melt down this week. This game/season is over.

Danimal said...

Just realized that there is a "new" post up.

Danimal said...

Teej. No never a skins fan. Used to be a cowboys guy.
Sorry about ur loss. Hopefully you didn't have any other options that were decent?

Danimal said...

And dierdorf just referred janikowski as sea bass. Ugh.

Dave said...

fumble!

this is the fumble that will change the whole season.

Dave said...

see! i knew it! everything is going to be different from here on out!

Mark said...

Dave's drunk. But I like his enthusiasm. In fact, I'm gonna go get drunk too.

TR said...

Is that Joyner in those McD ads w/ the kid who just got his license?

zman said...

Thunder and lightningsnow!

zman said...

Denver is bad, but at least their leading rusher in this game is from Teaneck NJ.

Dave said...

i am drunk but it's snowing heavily and my kids have xmas legos to occupy them-- so all i need is a giant come-back for a perfect afternoon.

Dave said...

the horror, the horror.

rob said...

fantasy football champion, bitches. validation of my existence.

zman said...

I spent a large part of the Jints game tormenting a friend via text message. He's an ardent Eli supporter, and stuff like "Eli giveth and Eli taketh away" drives him nuts. Even banal taunts like "Eli sucks" provokes responses like "How many rings does Jim Kelly have?" and "Call me when a Bills QB leads a game-winning drive in the SB as a 19 point underdog against an undefeated team." So I poked at him all game to the point where I think he threw a stroke. This is why I'm going to hell.

zman said...

Congratulations roberto, our tiny dictator and resident FFL champ.