Selling Sports

Entire industries and legions of smart people are dedicated to attraction and extraction – that is, drawing our attention, and money from our pockets. Some sells are easier than others. Think, anything related to Taylor Swift at one end of the spectrum and Afghan vacation time-shares on the other. 

Sports are a reliable draw. First-world country, leisure time, disposable income, and all that. Tastes have shifted over time – sixty years ago, the country’s major sports were baseball, boxing and horse racing – but overall Americans love us some games and those who excel at them. 

Present and future taffy pulls are about which sports folks find appealing, how they choose to engage, and how invested they are, since there are only so many hours in a day and dollars in accounts. A recent survey suggests that viewing habits and engagement are changing the way people connect with sports. A Norwegian-based outfit called Vizrt commissioned a study of thousands of sports fans across the U.S. and United Kingdom and found that only 58 percent of Generation Z’ers watch live sports from start to finish. Sixty-seven percent of Gen Z’ers surveyed prefer to watch sports on their phones while doing other things, compared to 54 percent of Millenials and only 23 percent of Gen X’ers. 

Many respondents across all demographics said that watching live is their preferred method for experiencing sports, but that all were watching full matches and games less frequently. (For ID purposes, Gen Z’ers, also known as Zoomers, are those born from the mid-1990s to 2010; Millennials or Gen Y were born from 1981-95, Gen X’ers from 1965-80, and Baby Boomers from 1946-64.) 

Other survey results: 74 percent of Gen Z’ers get most of their sports content from social media, another blast at traditional media. Seventy-nine percent of respondents said they were more likely to watch sports broadcasts that included such things as augmented reality (AR) graphics, virtual studios, live data analysis and enhanced replay. For example, using virtual sets in sports commentary enhances the viewing experience for 65 percent of Millennials. Sixty-three percent of Gen Z respondents said they were more likely to watch longer if virtual elements were used, and 57 percent of all respondents said they were likely to watch longer. Twenty-nine percent said they’d be more inclined to watch future broadcasts by certain outfits or studios if they knew snazzy graphics and virtual elements are used. In other words, many sports fans want nothing to do with nine innings of Braves-Marlins, but if you can drop them virtually into a Wembenyama fast break or a Pulisic dash into the box or Verstappen at Monaco, now we’re talking. 

All of this is in Vizrt’s wheelhouse. The company’s name is short for Visualization in Real Time, and it creates content production and tools for digital media, 3D graphics and maps, visual analysis and media management. As much as they thought they were well positioned for the future, even they were a little surprised by the survey results. 

“The data that came back on the importance of an immersive experience using additional graphics for audiences was astonishing. It’s clear (that) enhanced visuals and graphics are vital for capturing the attention of younger viewers and enhancing their engagement,” said Vizrt exec Andy O’Neil in a release accompanying the survey. “Millenials and Gen Z desire shorter, engaging content that they can consume on the go. They expect augmented reality graphics, real-time data, and exciting analysis to enhance their immersion in the game, and any broadcaster not considering these elements within their content is already falling behind.” 

Visual bells and whistles dovetail nicely with another pillar in the fan engagement playbook: gambling. If one has a little skin in the game, one is more likely to pay attention to the game. At last count, 33 states and the District of Columbia have legalized sports betting, and 24 states permit online betting. Sites such as FanDuel and Draft Kings are partners with major leagues and specific teams and media outfits. Any site worth its pixels has an app. With youngsters (and some oldsters) increasingly tied to their phones and mobile devices, wagering is easy. Winning, less so. 

Some folks, such as YouTuber-turned-boxer Jake Paul, are trying to tap into the instant gratification, social media angle with sports betting. Paul and his partner launched Betr, a site devoted to micro-betting – moment-to-moment wagering, next at-bat, next drive, next shot, next pass, etc. He raised approximately $50 million in start-up funding and said he wanted to create a “TikTokification of gambling,” where betting is like scrolling through videos. He might just do it. 

A J.P. Morgan study guesstimated that $9 billion per year will be spent on U.S. sports gambling by 2025, with almost $7 billion of that on micro-betting and game-in-play wagering. As a baby boomer of limited vision, I have no idea what sports or fandom will look like 10 or 20 years from now. I hope the landscape isn’t littered with the tech enslaved or dispirited souls who view sports through the lens of profit and loss and have no appreciation for the time and toil expended on their diversions. I don’t need augmented reality or a financial stake, but the numbers say I’m a vanishing breed. Some athletes and matchups will draw my attention regardless, while others will remain a tough sell and a hard pass. Though I hear Kabul is lovely in the Spring.

Rick, Rolling

There are artists who grow to resent the success of their greatest songs and how they come to overshadow a broader catalogue. I remember in particular a story Professor Truck's friend tells about how Echo and the Bunnymen essentially played a speed-metal version of "Lips Like Sugar" in concert. They knew they had to play it, but they weren't all that happy about it. 

Consider the case of Rick Astley, who saw his first and greatest hit become a global meme before any of us knew what a meme was. Rickrolling hit the internet in earnest in 2008 - it's a measure of its enduring power that it has its own Wikipedia entry. The song has been played on YouTube more than 1.4 billion times. It exists in a universe of its own, far out of Astley's control.

But rather than resent the phenomenon, Astley has - if not exactly embraced it - rolled with it. [Pun absolutely intended. I'm pleased with that one.] He's said that he finds it "bizarre and funny", and his only real concern is that his daughter doesn't get embarrassed by it. 

What's lost a bit in the internet frenzy around "Never Gonna Give You Up" is the fact that it's a catchy tune, and Astley really can sing. In 1987, the year of its release, the song hit number one in 25 countries, including the U.S. In 2018, Time Out named it the 33rd best song of the 1980s. ("Purple Rain" was atop the list, which tracks.)

It turns out that Rick Astley is still some kind of entertainer. At the annual Glastonbury Festival, he delivered a set with English band Blossom where he covered several of The Smiths' hits, and then did a 'secret' set of his own, which (of course) included 'Never', but also featured a rendition of AC/DC's "Highway to Hell", as seen here:

Dude can still sing, and it appears he can play drums, wear a salmon suit, and take himself not all that seriously. I'm here for all of it.

Rick Astley & Blossoms covering ‘Panic’ by The Smiths (Glastonbury 2023)

What a showman 🕺🏻

pic.twitter.com/6s6Qn8lJFH

— The Rock Revival (@TheRockRevival_) June 24, 2023

Rick Astley and The Blossoms absolutely nailing The Smiths at #Glastonbury pic.twitter.com/9LmG55epiV

— 4K ᑕOᒪᒪEᑕTIᐯE (@the4kCollectivE) June 24, 2023

 

Rick Astley and Blossoms covering The Smiths’ 'Heaven Knows I’m Miserable Now' 💐#RickAstley #Blossoms #Glastonbury #Glastonbury23 pic.twitter.com/HeWn2ERGoo

— Far Out #Glastonbury23 updates (@FarOutMag) June 24, 2023

A Rabbit Hole Greater Than the Sum of Its Parts

My summer 2023 live music plan just took a hit, and not in the good way. An early August date to go see Social Distortion at the Norva here in town was deleted from the calendar. For among the crummiest of reasons. 

Singer and lifeblood Mike Ness has tonsil cancer. Echo the "F cancer" refrain.

He posted a couple of weeks ago:

We think that life is going to go according to our plan, but it has a way of saying “I don’t think so!”

In the midst of pre-production, I was diagnosed with stage one tonsil cancer. I was feeling well enough to continue with recording in the studio up until the very day before surgery. The band and I were so inspired and excited to lay down these tracks, which by the way sound f-ing AWESOME!

The recovery from surgery is a day-by-day process and in three weeks we start radiation and that should be the last therapy I need. The team of doctors are certain that once finished with this course, I will be able to start the healing and recovery process. We expect a full recovery enabling me to live a long and productive life.

It breaks my heart to postpone the Summer Tour, and this album release, but time is required to heal. I can’t thank our loyal fans enough who have been waiting so patiently for this. While it will take a little longer-I promise you that it will be delivered and it will exceed your expectations.

I want you all to know that this has opened my eyes to a whole new struggle. I know it’s one that many of you or your loved ones have personally endured, and my heart goes out to you-because I now know what it’s like from this heavy experience.

I’m surrounded by love and support from my friends and family ESPECIALLY my lovely wife and incredible boys (oh and don’t forget my 3 dogs and kitty) THANK YOU ALL in advance to our unbelievable fans for YOUR love and support right now. ♥️

We WILL get through this….

Rooting like hell for Mr. Ness. Go get 'em. Happy that the prognosis isn't worse.

I intended to post a Gheorghe's 6-pack for Social D as a tip of the cap to the man, the band, and the predicament. Turns out, I did that 5 years ago! Fancy that.

Post abandoned. Except... my G:TB search returns for "Social Distortion" were way more interesting than I'd ever have thought! 

The beauty of nearly 20 years of Gheorghedom is that I forget most of what our goofy band of misfits have etched in the walls of this blogcave. And walks into the past amuse me greatly, if only to discover how we wrote back then, what predictions did and didn't come true, and what amazing time on my hands I had when I was employed by your federal government.

Take a look at what I mean. Searching for "social distortion" on gheorghe77.blogspot.com...

1. A Social D concert review soon after I attended a show in Norfolk from 14 years ago. A 39-year-old me chiding rob for being/acting old. 

2. The aforementioned Six-Pack. Not their greatest hits but a half-dozen of my faves.

3. The Mike Ness Files, according to rob. A list of being wrong with some of our prognostications.

4. The launch of Music Month. A month that concluded with the list of biggest douches in rock and roll (one which could use some updating... and was recently tagged by Blogger as vulgar). But this post was my equation of album track chronology and baseball lineup cards, with Social D's s/t record as the quintessential analogy. Good banter in the comments.

5. Ghoogles!! From 2009!! "mike ness quotes," "social distortion live at the roxy," "social distortion sick boys blogspot download"... glad we could be of help.

6. Gheorghe's Milestones in Music... wherein we all listed our first concerts, longest road trip for a show, etc. And a quiz! Great comments.

7. Utter filler... Les Coole listing favorite punk band names.

8. 2016 Gheorghemas Day Three: Three Punk Rock Playlists. 

I suppose one could be labeled onanistic for re-reading our posts of yesteryear, but the Gheorghe: The Blog roster has made me chuckle and learn more consistently for longer than any publication out there. 

Dig deep and enjoy. 

And get better, Mike Ness. 

Sleepy Sunday Mood Music, Vol. 2

Earlier this week, my man Whit sent me a link to the very kind of clickbait that makes me stop what I'm doing and immediately jump into. Turns out that it wound up costing me my morning. 

Paste recently ranked the top 70 alt-country albums of all time. Why 70 and not a more obvious milestone, I suppose we'll never know. But regardless of their questionable numeracy, the editors put together a solid tour through the genre's history. I might pick a few nits on some of the inclusions on the basis of category fit (Big Thief, to my mind, isn't alt-country. Nor is Loretta Lynn.), but not with respect to the quality of the tunes.

Given that I have a 25-hour road trip to Boulder with my kid planned for early August (more about which later in these pixel-pages), I'm in need of some driving tunes. Perfect timing, this catalogue of wheelhouse music. 

And because I'm a giver, here's a playlist I made by grabbing a few tunes from each of the 70 albums on Paste's list (with a couple of exceptions for records that fall into the Notify bucket). If you find yourself stranded on a country road with a minivan waiting for a tow, I've got you covered.

We Are All (Shitty) Witnesses

East Coast bias is real, in large part because time zones and sleep are real. As a recent example, I think one could credibly argue that people slept on the Denver Nuggets (pun intended after the fact) for most of the NBA season because they play most of their games in the Mountain or Pacific time zones.

Another contemporaneous case in point is the absurdity of the season Shohei Ohtani is having. The Angels' DH/P is making a mockery of decades of received baseball wisdom. After last night's 2-0 loss to the Dodgers, where Ohtani went 7 innings, gave up 5 hits and one run, and struck out 12 to take a hard-luck defeat, here's where he stands amongst major league players:

• 24 HR (first)
• 58 RBI (tied - first)
• 175 total bases (first)
• .616 SLG (first)
• .993 OPS (first)
• .377 OBP (top 20)
• 117 K pitching (3rd)
• 11.8 K/9 (2nd)
• 1.04 WHIP (7th)
• 89 IP (top 20)
• 3.13 ERA (top 20)

And he does shit like this:

@joeyprocell2 Shohei Ohtani delivering one the best sounds in any sport. #shoheiohtani #showtime #angels #losangelesangels #homerun ♬ original sound - Joey Procell

That sound!

I offer this post not so much in the way of a solution to the problems posed by a need for sleep, but as a marker. Future historians will at least know that this little corner of the East Coast saw Shohei Ohtani for what he was. A goddamn space alien anime god.

We (Sorta) Do Requests

Ten days ago, give or take, Whitney challenged one of us to pen a few words on the seismic news of Lionel Messi's agreement with MLS' Inter Miami. And like the dutiful amateur scribbler I am, I got to work. And then, like the practiced procrastinator I am, I got distracted. Which, in an odd way, is what the powers that be kinda want.

The things that distracted me were a flooding of the zone by moneyed interests across the sporting world, connected in various ways to a not-so-quiet campaign by oil-backed sovereign entities from the Gulf states. And while the dust has yet to settle, a reckoning is nigh, and I'm not terribly optimistic about what it's gonna reveal about our priorities as sports-loving folk.

The LIV/PGA TOUR bombshell was the first shoe that dropped and got global attention outside the sports page. But even before that, the trickle-turned-flow of big-name soccer players and coaches heading from Europe's top leagues to the Saudi first division was a head-turner for fans of the footy. Cristiano Ronaldo's $220m annual salary at al-Nassr turned a lot of heads. He'll be joined next season by Karim Benzema, N'Golo Kante, and Ever Banega, with Kalidou Koulibaly, Hakim Ziyech, Edoaurd Mendy, and Bernardo Silva among many rumored to be on the move to the Saudi Pro League. Former Tottenham manager Nino Espiritu Santo manages in the league, and ex-Liverpool star and former Rangers and Aston Villa boss Steven Gerrard is rumored to be heading there soon.

We're talking about preposterous money, and while it's easy to sit on one's couch and badmouth ostensibly already wealthy dudes for grabbing the cash, I'd like to see the scenario where a 'normal' person turns down $100m for a year's work (that's what Kante is getting paid at al-Ittihad), even if the boss's boss is, ahem, problematic. Messi is a notable exception, rumored to have turned down $1.5 billion (with a 'b') over three years from a Saudi club to head to South Beach. To which we point out that, a) Messi allegedly has a net worth of over $600m, b) Miami is a bit different than Riyadh in terms of quality of life and opportunities for his family, and c) the deal he signed to come to MLS offers him all kinds of incentives, including an ownership stake in the team, and a percentage of new Apple+ MLS subscription revenues in addition to the rumored $60m in annual salary. 

Rumors also abound of a Qatari consortium's imminent acquisition of the crown jewel of English football. Qatar's Sheikh Jassim bin Hamad al-Thani, the son of the country's former Emir, is reportedly the leading suitor to purchase Manchester United from the Glazer family for a price nearing $6b (the Glazers bought the club for a highly-leveraged $850m 18 years ago - nice piece of business if you can get it). 

The sale process has been as agonizing for United supporters as has the entire Glazer era. The Guardian's Sean Ingle explains the feelings of the club's backers, "Purgatory spiced with speculation, hope blunted by stasis. So it goes for Manchester United supporters, for week after interminable week. It is nearly seven months since the Glazers put the club up for sale – the “anniversary” is Thursday. Yet the family remains in situ, still inflicting the sort of slow torture that would make Torquemada flinch, still desperate to make every last penny before they depart. If they depart."

Oil money's influence on the Premier League isn't new. Manchester City is the flagship in the City Football Group, owned by Abu Dhabi United Group, and the best team in the world. Over the past two seasons, the Saudi Public Investment Fund (PIF) bought a controlling interest in Newcastle United, and the Magpies quickly became relevant, earning a Champions League place for next year. And over the past day, news has broken that Todd Boehly's Chelsea partner, Clearlake Capital, manages billions of pounds of PIF assets. Conveniently, Chelsea are planning to move high-priced and underperforming assets mentioned above like Coulibaly, Ziyech, and Mendy to the Saudi Pro League. The web, she is tangled. 

The genie is out of the bottle, or if you prefer, Pandora's Box has been flung open and the hinges ripped from the frame. World sport is now irrevocably the playground of the uber-wealthy, even more so than its ever been. It's only a matter of time before the money comes calling for American sport. And therein the reckoning.

I'd like to be high-minded here, and claim that I'll stand on principle. My hypocrisy only goes so far, after all. But I think it'll go pretty far. Didn't miss much of the U.S. Open, did I? Watched the UEFA Champions League final - even bet on it - though it signaled the UAE's ascension to the peak and the likely last gasp of Serie A as a major league for a while. 

I can't quit sports, in the end. I bet a great many people feel the same way. So we'll watch on, grudgingly at first, then enthusiastically, as it'll be easier and easier to forget the machinations of the power brokers that make the bread and circuses possible. A prediction, before I sign off and watch some more soccer: the once-maligned Super League concept in Europe will be revived, because it'll satisfy the desires of the ungodly wealthy for more money, and it'll clear a path for the next tier of just really rich folks to compete against like-minded clubs in more local competitions. When Fulham win the Premiere League, version 2.0, it'll feel just like the real thing.

Fashion is Dumb

Crocs are ubiquitous. At least one of you weirdos owns a pair. I know because I've seen you wear them. Lot of your kids probably do, too. The brand is a damn juggernaut, and good for them - goooo capitalism! 

But I think the good rubber-foot folks have gone a bit too far now. They've teamed with Huckberry, one of my favorite places to spend too much money on stuff (it's where I got my Waxed Trucker jacket, same as the one Pedro Pascal wears throughout The Last of Us, only I got mine first). And boy is the result a doozy. 

Friends, I give you the Huckberry x Crocs Classic Western Boot. It looks as damn ridiculous as it sounds. Though I bet it's good for mucking out a stall.

Hip-Hop Turns 50

On the evening of Aug. 11, 1973, in the rec room of an apartment complex at 1520 Sedgwick Avenue in New York City’s Bronx, 18-year-old Clive Campbell and his younger sister Cindy hosted a dance party billed as a back-to-school jam. Campbell, who spun records under the name DJ Kool Herc, noticed at previous parties that dancers responded to instrumental breaks in songs, especially those heavy with bass and drums. For this party, he set up two turntables and manipulated the records between them, isolating and extending the “breakbeats” without losing rhythm. 

That party and Campbell’s technique became the stuff of legend, and hip-hop was born. As hip-hop is about to turn 50, it’s nothing short of stunning to consider that in a span of less than two generations, it’s gone from a niche musical style confined to a handful of New York DJs and clubs to a worldwide phenomenon. 

Hip-hop has influenced music, fashion, commerce, language, entertainment and the culture at-large. It’s made millionaires and billionaires out of performers, producers, record executives and agents. What was viewed initially as a fad, and by some as radical and dangerous, is now mainstream. LL Cool J, Ice-T and Queen Latifah are TV stars. Snoop collaborates with Martha Stewart and shows up on the flatscreen every 15 minutes. Kendrick Lamar won a damn Pulitzer Prize. And yeah, we’re way past irony that the guy who wrote a protest rap that caused people to freak the f*ck out – “Cop Killer” by Ice-T and his band Body Count – now plays a policeman on NBC. 

One could make a case that hip-hop merits a chapter in the civil rights movement, a step following landmark legislation enacted in the 1960s. It provided a platform for those whose voices and experiences were often dismissed or ignored. Once it found an audience and gained traction, and certainly once it began to make money, there was no turning back. 

According to data compiled by MRC and Billboard, R&B/hip-hop is by far the most popular streaming genre in the U.S., accounting for 29.9 percent of all streams in 2021. Rock accounted for 17 percent of streams, Pop music 13.3 percent and Country 7.9 percent. Eminem has a larger number of certified album shipments than Fleetwood Mac or U2, according to the Recording Industry Association of America. Drake, Eminem and Kanye West are ranked 1-3-4 in total number of digital singles sold or streamed among all artists, according to the RIAA. 

The influence and reach of hip-hop is evident in the inspiration for this post. AARP magazine, of all places, ran a package of short stories and vignettes on Hip-Hop at 50, from which I cribbed liberally. The editors enlisted Bigfoot author, filmmaker and cultural observer Nelson George to write the lede and supplemented it with facts and stats and short asides. 

I’m grossly under-qualified to write about hip-hop and rap. I dipped a toe into a lot of the genre’s heavy hitters through the years, and I enjoy them, but I can’t say that I ever fully embraced the music. Though Public Enemy’s “Fear of a Black Planet” spent a lot of time on my stereo in the early and mid-‘90s, and I still fire up the video for “Fight the Power” now and then (FWIW, I contend that Chuck D possessed one of the primo voices in modern popular music; however, I’ll grant that the notion of PE as “popular” may be debatable). Much of what I know about hip-hop and rap comes from vague recollections and research.

 

I feel like zman and Mark ought to pen their own posts [DOOO ITTTT! POSTCOUNT!] to commemorate the occasion, as they’re much more knowledgeable and connected to the music. I defer to others on the relative merits of the Beasties and Wu-Tang Clan, of Tupac and Biggie, of Jay-Z and Kanye West and Sean Combs, of Salt-n-Pepa and Missy Elliott. 

Hip-hop’s roots extend back to Jamaican reggae and dancehall music from the mid-20th century, which featured forms of rapping and boasting, and even further back to the tradition of West African griots, who told stories of families and tribes through song and music. For all its popularity now and the innovation and imagination of DJs such as Campbell and Eddie Cheever and Grandmaster Flash in the early days, hip-hop remained mostly a New York joint until Sugarhill Gang’s “Rapper’s Delight” became a top-40 hit nationally in 1979. 

From there, hip-hop and rap took off. Its worldwide spread occurred in closer to 40 than 50 years. DJs honed their craft. Sampling became more prevalent. Technology such as programmable drum machines permitted DJs to extend and accentuate beats behind the words. Early practitioners couldn’t have imagined the sonic electronica now available. The ascent of hip-hop and rap was bumpy in spots, owing to the undercurrent of racism, reluctance toward the new musical form, feuds between artists and studios complete with periodic violence and gunfire, and criticism if not contempt for those who used it to profanely and graphically shine a light on the black experience – Ice-T and N.W.A. come to mind. 

Now, hip-hop and rap contain all the elements of any musical genre – social, political, angry, hopeful, lyrical, romantic, just plain fun – and perhaps always did. It’s a fixture in Latin America, Europe and within South Korea’s K-Pop movement. It’s a colossus here in the States and shows no signs of waning. Helluva legacy for a handful of New Yorkers who simply wanted to keep folks on the dance floor.

Fun with Art

It is rare that the NFL, protector of Lord Football, defender of manly American values, waver of the flag, serious of purpose (the purpose being to make shitloads of money for franchise owners) engages in any sort of whimsical enterprise. So I think it essential that we celebrate those fleeting moments.

Recently, several NFL rookies (Bryce Young, Bijan Robinson, and Xavien Flowers, among several others) sat down to paint their team logos from memory. The results were memorialized on t-shirts as part of an Homage x NFL collab.

Meet the design team behind our latest @nfl collection. https://t.co/7mGuSFu7Uopic.twitter.com/OHBKCImtD0 https://t.co/UvcWTpRD6u

— HOMAGE (@HOMAGE) June 6, 2023

This is inspired silliness, and I am here for it. In fact, I think the league should go one better. Each year, throwback uniforms add a little bit of interest (and opportunities for merch sales). Going forward, I think one team each year should have (get?) to wear helmets based on their rookie's artwork. Jags fans would be all over this from Tank Bigsby:

You know you want it. 

Sleepy Sunday Mood Music

New Isbell just dropped, and I can't think of many better ways to spend a Sunday than by digging deep into it. 

Rolling Stone calls Weathervanes "a brutally beautiful songwriting peak". Pitchfork gave it a 7.5, and notes the record's "sun-bleached vibe". Axios says it's an "album that resembles one of Isbell's live shows, where he often turns the room over to his bandmates." 

I've heard most of the songs at least once. There's resignation, and wisdom, and anger mixed with sadness ("Save the World" was written about the Uvalde massacre), and Isbellian wordsmithing. We'll start you off with Middle of the Morning, which is when I'll roll out of bed and start digging in.

Today's Headlines

Just scanning the newswire...

Lionel Messi to Sign With MLS’s Inter Miami, per Report

Wow! I was rooting for him to rejoin Barcelona, only because they were talking about this when I was in that town in March. But this seems fun, and another drawpiece for MLS games.

Someone should write a post about this. Someone on the team who writes about "footy."

Intelligence Officials Say U.S. Has Retrieved Craft of Non-Human Origin

Double-wow! Alien spacecraft has been retrieved and analyzed for many years! Let's make a theme park out of it! This is fascinating. 

Francis casting a vote

Someone who write about science should so a separate post. Maybe someone who posts about things like the Large Hadron Collider. 

Pope Francis is getting a hernia-related surgery in Rome

Yikes! Pope-a Frankie's gonna need some papal ballots. 

Someone should write a post about such matters. Maybe someone who enjoys balloting and who had hernia surgery last year. Wait, that's me. Never mind.

‘Very last warning’ for 82-year-old German convicted of dealing drugs

A German court says it is giving an 82-year-old man a “last warning” to avoid jail after he was found guilty of drug dealing, despite 24 previous convictions.

That's just playing the odds now, right?

Gheorghe: The Blog founder rob Turns 53

Saving the best for last, let's give it up for the man behind the mastery here, the guy who puts the dip in the dipshittery!

Happy Birthday, buddy.

New Gheorghie Just Dropped

Rarely in the course of human endeavors do circumstances conspire to bring together ideas, people, and causes in a way that so perfectly tickles the Gheorghian fancy as do the central actors of today's post topic. [Note that I was going to use 'tickles the Gheorghiebone', but then recalled that this is a family blog and that none of you could be trusted not to make that something lascivious.]

Joel Dahmen is a journeyman professional golfer. He's currently 72nd in the FedEx Cup standings and 124th in the Official World Golf Rankings (OWGR). He's won once on the PGA Tour, in 2021 at the Corales Puntacana Resort & Club Championship. Since he got his card in 2017, he's banked more than $10.5m in career earnings, which he'd probably tell you reflects more on the absurd amounts of money at the top of professional golf than his talent. See, in addition to being one of the world's best golfers, Joel Dahmen is an incredibly humble and self-effacing dude.

Dahmen moved high on my list of favorites for his role in Full Swing, a highly personal and very entertaining documentary about the life of professional golfers. In addition to stars like Justin Thomas, Jordan Spieth, Brooks Koepka, and Scottie Sheffler, the producers of the documentary also introduce us to characters like Sahith Theegala, Mito Pereira, Matthew Fitzpatrick, and Dahmen. His signature line encapsulates his low-ego, everyman approach to the game: “Somebody’s got to be the 70th-best golfer in the world. It might as well be me.” This recap of the episode that features Dahmen will give you a pretty good sense of the man.

Prior to Full Swing, the only other thing I knew about Dahmen was that he and Harry Higgs took of their shirts at the 16th hole at TPC Scottsdale during the 2022 Phoenix Open. He talks about it in Full Swing. Watch until the end - his deadpan, "Which makes sense." is perfect.

@validgolf

Joel Dahmen on when he and Harry Higgs took their shirts off at Waste Management 🤣 (via netflix) (via JoelDahmen/ig)

♬ original sound - Valid Golf

As a young golfer, Dahmen earned his card on the Canadian Tour, and then was diagnosed with testicular cancer. Which is where streams start to cross. He was successfully treated for the disease, and as he's become more established, he started the Dahmen Family Foundation to support families dealing with cancer. He lost his mother to the disease when he was a freshman in college.

Recently, Dahmen made the following announcement:

So let's unpack this. Joel Dahmen is an everyman, a Gheorghie if we've ever seen one. The Finns have a tradition known as Kalsarikänni, which translates to pantsdrunk, and involves sitting in one's underwear and drinking to get drunk with no intention of leaving the house. Fucking hell, man, that's my kind of hygge. And Dahmen wants us to get pantsdrunk on a  traditional Finnish cocktail made from gin and a mixer (usually grapefruit) to raise money for cancer research.

Sign. Us. Up.

House of the You Know What, Part III

Just when you think you've heard every version of this song... you haven't. 

Just when you think we've beaten this to death... we haven't.

Well, maybe we have, but still.

This one hit the streets in 2004. The streets, it seems, are not the same.

Les Coole & The Cukes · House of the Martha Wood - Random Idiots

zman bouillabaisse

More zbouillabaisse!

1. Inspiration from rob

rob's last post motivated me to post Nina Simone's version of House of the Rising Sun.  The last 30-or-so seconds will remind you that she was a classically trained pianist who turned to jazz when she didn't get into Juilliard.  

2. Inspiration from Professor G. Truck

Prof. Truck's recent post motivated me to tell you that many of the old Spider-Man cartoons from our childhood (the 1967 version) are available on Youtube.  zdaughter is into Spider-Man and she likes to watch a video before bedtime and these short cartoons fit the bill perfectly.  New ones go up and get taken down by whoever owns the copyright (Jack Urbont?)--until today they were all available in a playlist but now you have to scroll through them all.  This one reminds me of a scene from Raiders of the Lost Ark.

3. Politicians crack me up

New Hampshire state Rep. James Spillane (no relation to Mickey) endorsed Donald Trump for president in 2024 but has suddenly switched to Ron DeSantis, stating “I can no longer continue endorsing former President Trump. I am officially withdrawing my endorsement, as his most recent attack on Kayleigh McEnany is beyond comprehension and explanation .... Against my deepest hopes that Trump had learned some measure of control, he has attacked those who have been his staunchest supporters with no regard for their loyalty."  

Spillane further opined "The reason being that when I did endorse Trump I thought that he would be able to continue with a positive message, learn from his past mistakes and give us a way forward to continue the policies that he started before … But it’s become evident, especially with the latest attack on Kayleigh McEnany that there’s no loyalty in him.”

To be fair and balanced he added that "The people of NH, and the people of this nation, deserve messages of positivity and hope, not negative attacks and degradation as we have seen is the hallmark of the Biden administration."

Trump's "attack" on McEnany was his calling her a Milktoast (sic) RINO because she said Trump was 25 points ahead of DeSantis in the polls when he thought he was up 34 points.

So just to be clear, Spillane is fine with the coup and extorting Ukraine, but calling Kayleigh McEnany a Milktoast is a bridge too far for him.  I guess we shouldn't be surprised given his history.

Also, Mike Pence joined Sons of Anarchy.

4. Texas cracks me up

Like the citizens in most red-leaning states, many Texans have been conditioned to believe that "The Government" is their enemy, coming to steal their "Freedom!" with malign "Regulations!".

Texans won't stand for that hooey.  For example, Texas proudly deregulated their electricity utilities in 2002.  Electrons need freedom too!  That experiment didn't turn out exactly as expected, but Texans won't get fooled again by slick corporations and their externalities.

Or not.  Elon Musk's Boring Company (boring because they dig tunnels, not because they're dull, get it?) broke ground in Bastrop County Texas and they're running roughshod.  Or perhaps not, depending on your view of Freedom! and Regulations!.  

A local organic farmer commented “Between Elon Musk coming in here and all the sand and gravel mines ... suddenly this bucolic, pastoral prime farmland is now more than a thousand acres of an industrial site. There’s no zoning, there are no rules. It’s the Wild West.”

The local county commissioner replied “This is Texas. This is called property rights. If you own the property and you stay within the state laws, you can pretty much do what you want.”

A local real estate agent perhaps summed up things best when he said “I love Elon, and we need more industry here.  I just don’t want him to dump his poop in the river.”

If only The Government could protect the little guy's Freedom! from Musk's musky dung.  Maybe with some Regulations!.  Nah, that's awful stuff.  

Interlude, Lagniappe, Choose Your Own Description

I came across this the other day and shared it with a couple of you, but it's too good not to spread further. Trombone Shorty posted this video on his Twitter account this week. It's from the Mumford and Sons set that closed JazzFest on May 7. This song is the penultimate performance of the week (Mumfords followed it up with a rollicking version of 'I Will Wait'), and features Shorty, Jon Batiste, and Celisse. It's spectacular. Make sure you wait until the very end when Marcus Mumford, Shorty, and Batiste smile because they knew what they'd just done.