Official G:TB Winter Olympics Preview

Our affinity for the Olympic Movement, in all its corrupt and corporate glory, is one of the several pillars of the G:TB platform. We're suckers for the pageantry, spectacle and competition. Not to mention the 17 consecutive days of sports on our television. And to be sure, the Altius portion of the Olympic motto holds a special place in the hearts of several of our staff members.

It is no surprise then, that we're a little bit fired up for the February 12 opening of the 2010 Winter Olympics. The Olympic torch heads from Revelstoke to Kamloops today on its way across the Great White North. And Team G:TB cranks up our coverage of games with a look at one of America's favorite group of competitions, the Nordic events.

The United States has never won an Olympic medal in Nordic Combined, which features ski jumping and cross-country skiing in various combinations. The individual event includes two 'normal hill' jumps (normal being 90 feet high) and a 10km (6.2 mile) cross-country race in which the starting order is determined how far each participant flung himself (no ladies in Combined, sorry to say) down the hill. The sprint calls for a 7.5 km race following a single jump from the 'large hill' (120 feet). The team competition is some combination of jumping, skiing, and sweating.

Despite Uncle Sam's dubious history in this event, expectations for the Vancouver Games are high. The U.S. captured four medals (three gold, one bronze) at last February's world championships in Liberec, Czech Republic. We were favored to win the team event before being disqualified. I blame Denmark. Brett Camerota, Bill Demong, Taylor Fletcher, Todd Lodwick and Johnny Spillane represent the U.S. of A next month.

U.S. medal hopes in Cross-Country are more tempered, though Alaskan Kikkan Randall became the first American woman to win a world championship silver medal in the freestyle sprint last year. A new allocation system awards more competitive slots to countries who "perform" "better" in actual "competition", meaning the U.S. will only send 8 athletes to Vancouver - 8 fewer than in 2006. Once again, Denmark is trying to keep us down.

In a humorous human interest nugget that's sure never to make it on NBC more than 30 or 31 times, Randall's nickname is 'Kikkanimal'. She's also cute in that wholesome outdoorsy way. FOG:TB Dan has a new rooting interest. No fewer than 30 medals will be awarded in cross-country in individual, sprint, pursuit, and team events that feature at least two different styles of ambulation. I just like it because snot invariably freezes on the athletes' faces. And they ski their ever-lovin' asses off - cross-country skiers routinely fall down from exhaustion at the end of races.

Skiing around in circles and shooting stuff. What's more American than Biathlon? Tim Burke leads the current World Cup standings and represents the U.S. best hope for a medal in an event in which we've never broken into the top 3.

Ski Jumping is absurd on the face of it, and the U.S. has no real chance. But we're nothing if not thorough, and it is nordic, so we'll include it for the sake of completeness. Anders Johnson, who recovered from a major knee injury to qualify for the Games, will probably receive the Up Close and Personal treatment. So he's got that going for him. Nick 'Zander' Alexander (I don't make up the nicknames, I just point them out and let you mock them) is likely the U.S.' best medal hope. I wouldn't bet the kids' college funds on it.

It all kicks off on February 12, when Canada will fail miserably but amiably to duplicate the awe-inspiring spectacle of our new Chinese overlords drumming and acrobating around the Bird's Nest. As usual, you can expect wall-to-wall coverage here. And Olympic-quality filler.