Thursday, August 17, 2017

Juuuust A Bit Outside!

Thursday Filler....

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Moonlighting

Look. This is a team effort, boys and girls. A lot of you aren't going to be super happy when performance evaluation time comes around this year. And the Christmas Jelly of the Month Club budget won't be as generous if we can't start churning some content out of this factory. Consider yourself warned.

At least Teejay's got an excuse:


Sunday, August 13, 2017

Sweet and Goofy Hooligan

I'm in a dark fucking mood, people of the House Gheorghe (someone needs to work on a sigil). I've got post ideas ranging from rage to gobsmacked amazement to anger-whimsy (I think you'll like that one). And I've got an 8-hour drive from South Carolina to Virginia tomorrow during which to stew in the juices of my current bewildered incoherence at the state of my nation.

So goddamn do I need something goofy and sweet, or otherwise affirming the fact that life is too short to take too many things too seriously.

Kermit's always good for what ails ya.



Here's hoping we'll find it.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

This Week in Wrenball: Cool Gunnings

Connor Burchfield's been in the weight room
There are lots of reasons to believe that the 2017-18 season will be a challenging one for the William & Mary hoops squad. The team's top three scorers and rebounders from last year, Daniel Dixon, Omar Prewitt, and Jack Whitman are all gone - the first two via graduation, and the latter via transfer. Greg Malinowski, who gave W&M 7.7 ppg and was poised to be a team leader, transferred to Georgetown so he could play with George Muresan (who seems to be missing a couple of h's). The cupboard may not be completely bare, but it's down to Cheetos and a couple of potatoes with those root thingies growing out of them. Only senior David Cohn returns from the 2016-17 starting lineup.

So we may not get that much opportunity to celebrate our Wrens this year, which is why you're reading about them on August 10th. W&M might not make much noise in the CAA, but our boys are smacking the crap out of some Jamaican dudes this week.

With one contest remaining in their three-game tour of the Blue Island, the Tribe are 2-0, with an average margin of victory of 44.5 over the Jamaican U-21 National Team and a collection of professional players known as Jamaica Select.

Boston College transfer Matt Milon led all scorers with 22 points in the Tribe's trip opening 103-59 win over the Jamaican U-21s. Frosh Jihar Williams added 16, with both W&M debutants going 4-7 from deep. Returning high scorer Nathan Knight went for 10 points and 9 boards, sophomore Justin Pierce (of whom much will be demanded this year) got 8 and 9, and point guard Cohn added 9 assists to his 10 points.

SPIKEBALL!!!
In W&M's second matchup, a 98-53 win over Jamaica Select, sharpshooter Connor Burchfield scored 16 points on 4-9 three-point shooting, while Williams kept up his production from downtown, scoring all of his 15 points on 5-11 longballs. Pierce scored 11 and grabbed a game-high 13 boards, and Cohn dropped 8 dimes and scored 15 points. In what we hope isn't a bad omen, Milon missed the game with an injury.

The Tribe finishes their tropical slate this evening against the Mingo 79'ers, which is either a Jamaican pro squad or very painful Caribbean sexual position.

If our 2017-18 outlook is any indicator, go with the pain.

Monday, August 07, 2017

OBFT Reentry Filler

Generally speaking, what happens at OBFT stays at OBFT. At least the stuff that needs to stay at OBFT. In this case, most of that is related to stuff that's now legal in Colorado. For the other stuff, feel free to head over to Sentence of Dave for our correspondent's review of the proceedings.

Incidentally, the reason most stuff that happens at OBFT stays in Nags Head is that none of us can remember anything. As a case in point, I got an email from Rootsy this morning reminding me that we had a rousing singalong to the song below.

There's also no judging at OBFT, unless we're talking about playlists.

Wednesday, August 02, 2017

Summer Dave: Audio Up Your Ass Edition

If things go according to plan, I'll be driving down to Norfolk when this post hits the internet. For your convenience, I have provided two pieces of audio that I recently produced. If you're headed to the OBFT, you can listen to them before you see me, and then we'll have something to talk about (besides kids and the weather and the state of our bowels). If you're not headed to OBFT . . . well, your liver thanks you.

The first piece is a song I just finished. It's called "Monkey Mind" and it's about the primitive anger and frustration that's lurking just below the surface of modern life. So often, I want to throw shit around the house, yell and rant, and just up and leave the situation . . . and it's often the simplest things that cause these feelings: the kids still don't have their shoes on, I have to call the tree guy and get an estimate, the laundry needs to be switched over . . . but everything can't go in the dryer, you've got to take out the bras and swimsuits and hang them or put them in a little bag or both . . . and don't forget the dryer sheet or they'll be static cling!

I don't want to call the tree guy, and I don't care about static cling (in fact, it's kind of magical that electrons can do that shit). I want to go play tennis or noodle around on my guitar. It's fucking brutal. According to Jared Diamond, it's the worst mistake the human race made, switching from lazy hunter-gatherers to industrious and specialized agricultural city-dwellers. Anyway, we can't go back in time, we can't retreat to the trees, but I can write a song about it. And, because of the internet, you can listen to it.



The other piece of audio makes me very very sad. Last week on The Test, I gave the ladies a quiz on the blues, and they bombed it. I was so excited-- I thought I had the perfect clips: easy to identify and clearly pointing to a larger theme (a famous film) but I was very wrong. You can hear me getting more and more depressed, as I realize that they don't know anything about the blues, and they've got no shot at solving the riddle. Humor me and give this one  ashot, and then tell me I'm not insane.





Tuesday, August 01, 2017

What I Learned On My Summer Vacation

For the second time in the past three years, I really, truly disconnected from the workaday world and spent four days and three nights paddling down the St. Croix River in northeastern Maine with friends and family. I'm not one to ascribe deep meaning to the quietude of nature, or to dig for wisdom in the vicissitudes of the wild. And so I won't.

But I will confess that the shrinking of my world to a canoe, a tent, and eight other people had a materially positive impact on my psyche. I couldn't follow the healthcare debate/bacle, even if I wanted to. I had no way of knowing if our idiot President* did something else powerfully stupid, norm-destructive, and coarsening. Couldn't follow the Red Sox, or the U.S. Men's National Team.

All I cared about was missing the next rock, getting to the campsite in time to relax, building a fire, managing our beer supply so it lasted the full trip, and cooking the shit out of some high-calorie camp grub. Oh, and watching eagles. I saw six of those majestic creatures.

Didn't see any moose, though one of our number was goaded into singing a camp song entitled, 'There Was a Moose'. There's no self-consciousness after three days of shitting in the woods, friends, so we all joined along.



In addition to camp songs, I learned a whole bunch of other things while on the river.

I learned, all at once, that SPAM is effectively the same color as a human thumb (my human thumb, at least), and that a Leatherman knife blade is really fucking sharp. Hope to be healed by the time OBFT rolls around. I've got Red Stripe bottles to grip.

I learned that an eagle in flight against a cloudless blue sky is jaw-droppingly impressive.

I learned that sardines don't taste all that bad on Town House crackers, at least while floating down a river.

Speaking of SPAM, I learned that there are times, rare though they might be, that SPAM, ground beef, Velveeta shells and cheese, and peas combine to make a deliciously rib-sticking dinner.

I learned that whispers (the sound of the bottom of a canoe gently gliding over rocks) are far better than screams.

I learned that a broken tentpole can be fixed with a shitload of duct tape.

I learned that waking up at 5:30 in the morning isn't nearly as bad when an alarm clock isn't involved.

I learned that my brother-in-law, cousin, and uncle all snore like motherfuckers.

And I learned that (or better, was reminded that) the trappings matter so much less than the company. That, my good friends, is what keeps me coming back to this humble corner of the internet.