Friday, January 29, 2010

Zoltan = Soul on Ice

Many women like to watch figure skating. With the Winter Olympics nigh upon us, you might end up watching figure skating with a woman. Maybe a woman you know, or maybe one you just met. Either way, you might want to sound knowledgeable, and you definitely want to find a way to keep it entertaining. To that end, I bring you Romania's own Zoltan Kelemen.


I will root for Zoltan for several reasons. First, he's Romanian (in fact, he's the 3-time Romanian figure skating champion!). Just like Gheorghe Muresan. Second, his coach is named ... wait for it ... you're gonna love this ... Cornel Gheorghe. Another commonality with Gheorghe! Third, he has a cool name. Zoltan. It sounds so out of sight its got the blind people lookin'. Sounds sweet and smooth like custard. Sharp like a razor, steady like a train. Like a man who knows where to get good gyulai - and how to give it. Like a man who can drink a case of Ursus without having to break the seal. Hirsute in places where other men are hairless. A man that all others envy. Fourth, he skates to funky music. He's soul on ice. Check it:



It seems like he falls down a lot so clearly he can take tons of pain. Tough as nails. If you fast forward to the 5:50 mark you'll see he's got a great poker face. Chicks clearly dig this man.

Don't be surprised if you're standing around the K-cup machine at work and you overhear a bunch of young ladies gasping that "Zoltan is soooo sexy!" Normally they'd be talking about me, but during this twenty-first Winter Olympiad, they just might be talking about Zoltan Kelemen. Be ready for it.

48 comments:

Dave said...

this is awesome: now i have someone to root for in figure skating.

zoltan said...

Mission accomplished! Heckuva job Zoltie.

rob said...

if you like college hoops and you're not reading kyle whelliston every day, you really need to rectify that.

http://www.midmajority.com/2010/01/road-report-ghost-story.php#more

Mark said...

Light on actual info, heavy on conceit. Just my style.

zoltan said...

What do you mean? I found all that stuff on the internet. No editorializing or fabrication whatsoever.

Mark said...

My bad. That entire second paragraph is clearly from an academic journal.

rob said...

if you mean whelliston, mark, you gotta read his daily mid-major brief. more information than you can shake a bear-poking stick at.

rob said...

and if you mean zoltan, well, i have no opinion on that. except, postcount!

Mark said...

I do read Wheliston. Very informative. As for Zoltan, I'm just stuck at work and fucking with people.

zoltan said...

I can provide attribution for most of the junk in that second paragraph.

rob said...

canisius students singing along to eddie money's 'take me home tonight'. a little bit awesome.

rob said...

the wizards trail the 3-40 nets with 6 minutes to play. redskinsesque.

Whitney said...

Bullets pull out a win vs. Nets.

Kurt Warner is retiring.

John Daly is retiring from golf.

Mild surprises, carry on.

rob said...

watching mason/jmu. tribe's loss to the dukes looking more perplexing by the minute.

rob said...

i retract my previous comment

rob said...

tribe game postponed. snowpocalypse.

Mark said...

I've been moving all day. If any of you haven't moved recently, I assure you that it still sucks as much as you remember.

rob said...

you moving yourself? that does, indeed, suck. but point break is on, so let keanu make it all better.

rob said...

i am an eff bee eye agent

Mark said...

It was only about a mile away from where I live now (Must. Stay. Near. beach.) so there was no point in hiring movers. Still, it was essentially my buddy Tyler and I moving my entire house (full of 3 peoples belongings) into the house me and my lady just bought. Luckily, Tyler owns a 14 x 7 trailer. Still, lots of awkward lifting and such. A royal pain in the ass to be sure but we're all moved in and I've done my manly duties for the day (fuck that, for the month).

Time for too many beers for this guy.

Mark said...

And few too many ballots as well.

rob said...

i think you've earned it.

rob said...

vaya con dios

Mark said...

Andre Miller scored 52 points tonight. The world no longer makes sense to me.

rob said...

tribe game rescheduled for 5:00 this evening. drexel spent the evening in williamsburg, and you know how draining the nightlife there can be. bodes well for the tribe.

KQ said...

rob/shlanimal -- got official word this morning that we are all systems go for patriots v tribe. any chance you've seen the caa standings this morning?

zoltan said...

Federer is now 157-10 in the 25 major tournaments held since 2004. Which means he's won 15 of the last 25 majors. He has appeared in the finals of every major from 2006 to date, except for the 2008 Australian Open where he "only" reached the semis and lost to the eventual champion.

He is good at tennis.

TJ said...

Chandler Parsons. Unreal.

TJ said...

Gonzaga lost last night to a quite awful San Francisco team. Can anyone tell me without looking who the Dons' second year coach is?

rob said...

chandler parsons?

that was quite a final minute. tyus probably wants that bunny back.

TJ said...

Rex. Walters.

rob said...

nice. anyone see that kansas/k state barnburner last night? i got sucked in by agent utah.

rob said...

pitt lost to south florida? scratches head.

TJ said...

Sherron Collins was very, very impressive. The game was a lot of fun, with big performances from guys on both sides.

And Pullen's poor man's Baron Davis beard is fun.

TJ said...

And rob, it's been a big weekend for the drags of the Big East: the USF win, Rutgets first conf win yesterday and Depaul leading Cuse by 18 and almost winning.

rob said...

and look at kq pulling the scoreboard call with 7 games left to play in conference. some might consider that bad luck.

rob said...

bracket busters matchups announced tomorrow. mgl surmises tribe @ missouri state and that it'll be televised.

zoltan said...

Tripe Hoops on TV? Is there a Bizzaro ESPN channel?

TJ said...

ACC Sunday Night Hoops is a good one...Terps at Clemson.

rob said...

tribe by 7 at the break, 28-21.

Whitney said...

Has it been noted that each team we touted in the initial podcast has been poor to piss-poor ever since? Pitt, UVA, Tribe, etc. A powerful jinx coming from G:TP.

I just feel bad for the girl from Rob's champagne cork to the nostril story; she's probably had a terrible two weeks and doesn't understand why.

rob said...

tribe gives up a 10-2 run to blow a 9-point lead. up 1 with 12 to play. pace whitney, i'm now going to stop talking about them.

rob said...

big huge win for the tribe, 54-51. told you the lure of the williamsburg nightlife would be too much for drexel to handle.

Marlin said...

Some guy is sitting on the Drexel bus blaming his poor shooting performance on the gas he got from the two hot holly's he ate last night and the rash he got from a fat girl named holly that lives in Monroe.

rob said...

wow, uva is putting the wood to carolina in chapel hill.

Whitney said...

The hex is lifted with the planning of a new podcast. UVA wins, Tribe wins.

zoltan said...

I heard a rumor that the hot holly sandwich was named after a hot girl named Holly. True?

zoltan said...

Hershel Walker is now a cage fighter. He's 48. It must be really tough, psychologically, to be an over-the-hill athlete.