Thursday, December 21, 2006

Thursday, December 14, 2006

Boycott, A to Z

The Jim Bowden bashing in the comments of the last post has GTB thinking...

Okay, you get to boycott one person from entering the metropolitan region ever again (presumably severing all ties with the city).

Is it:
(a) Jim Bowden
(b) Daniel Snyder
(c) Marion Barry
(d) Dick Cheney
(e) Gregg Williams
(f) my boss
(g) George Michael (the one who wasn't in Wham!)
(h) Tony Kornheiser
(i) Steve Buckhantz
(j) Linda Cropp
(k) Jerry & Geoff's friend Reed
(l) Brendan Haywood
(m) Mark Brunell
(n) Wes Unseld
(o) John Thompson
(p) Hillary Clinton
(q) Vinny Cerrato
(r) Abe Pollin
(s) the heads of Infinity Broadcasting
(t) Al Sharpton
(u) Kenny Wright
(v) everyone who grew up in the area yet is a Cowboys fan
(x) write-in politician of your choice
(y) write-in anyone
(z) the writers of Gheorghe: The Blog

There's fruitless litigation...

...and then there's this. On Monday, a judge in Jeannette, PA dismissed a harassment charge against a teenager charged with repeatedly meowing at his geriatric neighbor. The unnamed 14 year old hooligan apparently "tortured" 78 year old neighbor Alexandra Carasia and caused her "emotional harm", meowing every time he saw her. Luckily, Judge Joe Brown realized the case had no merit and dismissed it, but not before reprimanding the little rascal for his immature behavior. Our crack research staff has uncovered this footage...

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Death to "It's Christmas Eve in Washington"

The ball is rolling...hat tip to Dan at DC Sports Bog for spreading the word, and now you can continue this jolly jihad by visiting the online petition. Sign early, sign often.

I know, you've heard the ranting before, but it's reached Gladwell's tipping point now. Those of you not in the DC Metro area have no idea the musical nightmare you are missing. "It's Christmas Eve in Washington" by Maura Sullivan is absolutely, positively the worst holiday tune of all time (amazingly, in this day of the interweb, I had a very tough time finding the artist to "credit" this song too...perhaps she wants to curl up and die every time she hears it, like me?). There can be no argument.

The insanity has to stop. You know what the #1 search is right now for GTB? Some combination of "christmas eve in washington song" and either "sucks" or "worst song ever". I need all the haters out there to band together and fight this monstrosity. I have already begged Dan at DC Sports Bog to get the word out about this plague, and I have emailed Program Director Bill Hess at 97.1 WASH FM numerous times begging him to put this tune to sleep (and put the listening public out of its misery). You should do the same (WASH FM of course is the soft rock station that begins playing Christmas songs in July).

I know you think I'm nuts, or simply an old curmudgeon, but I'll let the song speak for itself (speak = vomit syrupy sweet nothingness). If anyone can find an MP3 of this, please send it along. For now, try not to slit your wrists as you enjoy "It's Christmas Eve in Washington"...

It's snowing tonight in the Blue Ridge
There's a hush on the Chesapeake Bay
The chimneys are smoking in Georgetown,
And tomorrow is Christmas Day.

The Tidal Basin lies quiet
The tourists have found their way home
Mr. Jefferson's standing the mid-watch
And there's a star on the Capitol Dome.

It's Christmas Eve in Washington,
America's hometown
It's here that freedom lives,
And peace can stand her ground,

It's Christmas Eve in Washington
Our joyous wish to you
Is for peace, love & laughter,
To last the whole year through.

Snowmen peeking through the windows
It's warm with love inside
'Round the tree the children gather
Awaiting Santa's midnight ride.

Mom and Dad are counting their blessings,
Reflecting on all they've done
So thankful for another

Christmas Eve in Washington.

It's Christmas Eve in Washington,
America's hometown
For it's here that freedom lives,
And peace can stand her ground.

Monday, December 04, 2006

7th Heaven

The Cincinnati Bengals are the gift that just keeps on giving. Sunday, WR Reggie McNeal was arrested for trying to enter a club in Houston after closing time. Reggie was charged with resisting arrest after becoming aggressive when an off-duty cop (working security) told him he couldn't enter (you see, Reggie had just bet Cates that all it took was bullshit and experience, and...oh, never mind...)

In case you forgot (and with so many of these clowns getting pinched, who can blame you?), McNeal also happened to be a passenger in LB Odell Thurman's vomit-filled SUV when Thurman got tagged for DWI (the other saint in that car? Chris Henry of course). Odell, already suspended 4 games at that time for violating the league's substance abuse policy, was given the reat of the year off following the arrest.

Amazingly, McNeal is the seventh Bengal to be arrested since December 15, 2005. The others on this prestigious list:
OL Eric Steinbach - We'll call him the Odell of the Sea. Steinbach got arrested for boating under the influence.
WR Chris Henry - King of the Hill. The Marcus Vick Charm School charge of getting underage chicks wasted, the DWI AND the gun charge. This guy is unbelievable.
DT Matthias Askew - This genius had to be Tasered after resisting arrest (over a parking violation).
LB A.J. Nicholson - Burglary (of a former Florida State teammate), grand theft, vandalism...all that's missing is a #2 in someone's clothes hamper.
DE Frostee Rucker - Spousal battery and vandalism in Los Angeles. I blame his parents for shackling him with that absurd first name.

Christ, Henry and Jimmy would've been better off hiring these guys for the Lufthansa heist...

Friday, December 01, 2006

At first I was confused...

...I knew Andy MacPhail was gone, I knew the Tribune Co. is traditionally know for being thrifty, and yet who so far has been the biggest spender in the annually overhyped Hot Stove season? The Chicago Cubs, that's who. It's almost like GM Jim Hendry HAS to spend this money...

$1,500,000 for SP Wade Miller
$1,750,000 for RP Kerry Wood
$5,250,000 for C Henry Blanco
$13,000,000 for 2B/SS/3B/OF Mark DeRosa
$75,000,000 for 3B Aramis Ramirez
$136,000,000 for LF Alfonso Soriano

That's $232,500,000 right there. I couldn't quite figure it out. Was Hendry really behind this tremendous cash outlay? Was the Tribune Co. finally going to sell the Cubs, meaning the penny pinching was over? Finally, it came to me...there is only one man truly capable of blowing that much cash that fast. I give you the REAL man behind the Chicago Cubs offseason:

"Gentlemen, do you think I'm a lowlife?"