Notify, Vol. VIII

Rob recently checked in on the WFCSAGS recurring feature and provided an update. Not sure Zman can with WCSAGD, other than to keep saying "Nobody's bought one yet!"

Well, here's an update nobody even asked for -- the Notify News! Welcome back to the Notify show, the one where we highlight songs not on Spotify!

And here's the latest, including which songs we highlighted that are now available on Spotify after all. [If you think I'm implying with such a post as this that the G:TB Notify posts have influenced the powers that be at Spotify, well, yes, yes I am.]

Here are the songs that I brought to that platform for you:

• De La Soul, "Eye Know"
• Toad the Wet Sprocket, "Rock and Roll All Nite"
• Garth Brooks, "Hard Luck Woman"
• Klark Kent, "Away from Home"
• All of Neil Young!
• CSNY, "Woodstock"
• Joni Mitchell, "Big Yellow Taxi"
• Nils Lofgren: "Keith Don't Go," "Bullets Fever," and "Jhoon Rhee Ad"
• The Blues Brothers, "Shake a Tail Feather"
• The Smithereens, "In a Lonely Place"
• The Dream Academy, "Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want [instrumental]"

Z Specials

• The Beatnuts, "Off the Books" (on compilation and Big Pun album)
• Nina Simone, "Gin House Blues [live]"
• The Pharcyde, "I'm That Type of N****"

The rest, for which we remain ever vigilant:

• Brian Wilson, "Brian Wilson"
• Stevie Wonder vs The Clash, "Casbah Uptight"
• UB40, "One in Ten"
• CvB, "Laundromat"
• Arcade Fire, "Guns of Brixton [live at BBC Culture Show]"
• The Clash, "Listen"
• Aztec Camera, "Jump"
• CvB, "Eye of Fatima"
• Strontium 90, "Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic"
• The Police, "Nothing Achieving"
• Dropkick Murphys, "Guns of Brixton [live]"
• Wyclef Jean, "Electric City"
• Pizzicato 5, "Twiggy Twiggy"
• Danger Mpouse, "What More Can I Say"
• The Clash, "(In the) Pouring Rain"
• Cracker, "Been Around the World"
• Total Coelo. "I Eat Cannibals [original]"
• Zodiac Mindwarp and the Love Reaction, "Prime Mover"
• The Walkmen, "Greasy Saint"
• Ray LaMontagne, "Crazy"
• Father John Misty, "The Suburbs"
• Bruce Greenwood & Circle the Wagons, "2 Ft. O' Butt Crack"

Okay, there's the recap. But what about some new Not-ifies?

Fair enough. 

Who doesn't love Ween?? Well, I don't right now, since they cancelled the show that was playing around here this weekend. But then again, it was for Deaner's mental health, and I'm for that. We waited out Gener, we'll wait for his buddy. 

Here are a couple of lost tracks.

Here's a tune they wrote when Captain Trips died.

And another for an All-Star pitcher's cousin. Love this one.

Speaking of dying, the Margaritaville Man died last year, and here's an old tune he did that appeared on the Urban Cowboy soundtrack.

Here's one that didn't even have a presence online until a month ago. An old tune by old VU-er John Cale, somewhere in the late 1970's. 

And there there's this. 1983's sophomoric, misogynistic, ludicrous, and mildly amusing Jerky Boys precursor, "Cooky Puss!" All hail Carvel ice cream. This ain't no Fudgie the Whale. 

That's all for Notify this go-around!

BUT... that's not all for Cooky Puss!  Stay tuned for Part II of the Cooky Puss saga!! It's fascinating!!

All The News That Fits ...

Manufacturers routinely subject their products to stress tests, a wise and necessary practice that allows for improvement and reduces the chance of human suffering and litigation. Other outfits have stress tests thrust upon them while in motion. Their ability to cope and adjust on the fly determine their value. News organizations belong to the latter group. 

Each day brings new challenges, and it’s up to the group to figure out the best way to gather and distribute information within the landscape. Sometimes results are deft and seamless, other times leaks and cracks and breakdowns are apparent. Or, as the philosopher Sam Elliott said in “The Big Lebowski,” “Sometimes you eat the b’ar, sometimes the b’ar eats you.” 

As an old newspaper guy and the site’s media grump, I’m often as curious about *how* stuff is covered as *what’s* covered. Which brings us to a couple of areas that caught my attention. One is the war in Gaza, or more specifically, coverage of the war in Gaza by several major news outlets. The other is who gathers and presents the news, and the filters through which they sift coverage, in this case at National Public Radio. 

First, you can go to a hundred places for news about Israel and Gaza and its effects on Israelis and Palestinians. I have no additional sources or insight. But I was struck by a couple of pieces illustrating that large, smart, capable news organizations are twisting themselves into crullers simply attempting to tell people what the hell is going on. The news site The Intercept was given an internal memo from New York Times editors instructing reporters about what language and terms they should and should not use in describing the conflict. Avoid terms such as “genocide” and “ethnic cleansing,” as well as “slaughter” and “massacre.” Don’t refer to areas of displaced Palestinians as “refugee camps” or Gaza as “occupied territory.” The words “terrorist” and “terrorism” are acceptable when referring to the original Hamas attack on Oct. 7, but not when Israeli soldiers or citizens target or kill Palestinian civilians. 

NYT editors say the aim is to avoid loaded words and terms that convey more emotion than fact, and to simply use precise descriptions. However, a NYT newsroom source told The Intercept: “I think it’s the kind of thing that looks professional and logical if you have no knowledge of the historical context of the Palestinian-Israeli conflict. But if you do know, it will be clear how apologetic it is to Israel.” 

A handful of NYT newsroom sources claim that the paper is being deferential to Israel and Israeli military sources for details of actions and civilian deaths. Meanwhile, NPR’s public editor wrote a recent piece saying that the most frequent criticism received is that its coverage highlights the suffering of Palestinians and downplays the pain and grief experienced by Israelis. That NPR doesn’t emphasize enough that Hamas sparked the present conflict with its initial attack or camouflage itself by blending in with the general population. Nor does it provide Israeli voices and context within stories about what are described as Palestinian civilian deaths and casualties, raids on hospitals and communities, etc. 

The public editor’s response was, essentially: We’re doing the best we can; not enough hours in a day or time in our broadcasts to mention everything. Unspoken was: And no matter how much we do, some of you *still* will bitch because we aren’t tailoring coverage or using language *you* want. 

NPR’s supposed Palestinian bias was also cited by a former editor. Uri Berliner was a senior business editor who recently resigned after 25 years, saying that he “cannot work in a newsroom where I am disparaged by a new CEO whose divisive views confirm the very problems at NPR” he outlined in a recent online essay. Berliner wrote at length for a piece on the site Free Press that NPR’s news side has morphed from an obligation to straightforward journalism, albeit with a liberal slant, to full-on, left-leaning advocacy that attempts to tell listeners what to think. 

Despite a commitment to a more diverse newsroom, he wrote that the “most damaging development” was an absence of viewpoint diversity: no conservative voices, no one to challenge when more rigorous standards of reporting or journalism are ignored. He pointed out that several years ago, NPR’s Washington D.C., office where he worked had 87 registered Democrats and zero Republicans, a ratio that was met with staggering indifference when he brought it up to superiors. Listenership is down, he wrote, and the audience has narrowed. 

In 2011, twenty-six percent of listeners described themselves as conservative, 23 percent as middle-of-the-road, 37 percent as liberal. In 2023, eleven percent said they were conservative, 21 percent middle-of-the-road, 67 percent liberal. On the journalism end, Berliner wrote that the office went all-in on Trump-Russia collusion in the 2016 presidential campaign before anything was proven, barely bothered to investigate the possibility of a Chinese lab leak as the origin of the COVID-19 virus despite credible questions that persist to this day, and dismissed the Hunter Biden laptop story in 2020 out-of-hand before any real reporting as a potential distraction for the task of ousting Trump. After George Floyd was killed by a white police officer in Minneapolis, rather than explore the impacts of racism through reporting, he wrote that management accepted systemic racism in the nation as a given and charged staff with acknowledging and helping to dismantle white privilege. [Note from the tiny dictator: For what it's worth, the WaPo's Erik Hemple dug into Berliner's claims and found many of them wanting for evidence, which doesn't besmirch the media grump's broader point.]

These are tough times for the news business. As news sources dwindle in an increasingly polarized society, there’s no guarantee that if NPR reported straight down the middle and had more conservative voices that it would attract listeners and have a better balanced audience, that if New York Times reporters didn’t have to check every other sentence through a wartime sensitivity glossary that it would present a fair accounting in a combat zone. But dear lord, people, don’t overthink it. Report and write and speak and present the way you were taught. Follow common sense and your gut. Don’t erect more obstacles than are already in place. The b’ar needs no help.

People Are Occasionally Pretty Neat

Coming to you live from the ancestral homeland of Brewster, MA this weekend, where we're gathered as a clan to celebrate my great-aunt's 100th(!) birthday. Clean living and serving others does a wonder for a body, as it turns out. I may not be so lucky.

Speaking of serving others, I came across this neat little story in the WaPo a few days ago. It starts like this, "Sam McGee picked up the phone in 2022 and dialed the same number he’d called every year for decades. He had the same question he’d been asking for 20 years: Could his family buy back his late grandmother’s Ford Mustang that had been sold in 1973 to pay for her funeral expenses?"

That's a zinger of a lede that turns into a bitter (mostly) sweet tale of family, persistence, and a community-minded individual. Enjoy this award-winning documentary students at Samuel V. Champion High School in Boerne, TX produced about it.

American Primitive

I got so excited about the release of my dog's book that I forgot the traditional G:TB celebration of the release of a new Old 97s record. American Primitive is the 13th studio album by our guys, who are marking their 30th year together as a band. That in itself is noteworthy.

Reviews have been nearly uniformly positive, lauding the band's consistency and hailing the record as "consistently exciting and rambunctious" while claiming its 13 tracks "cut a vigorous slice through some rowdy melodies & upbeat jaunty ones". Music, one might say, to my ears.

In a splendid bit of timing, I've now sold enough books to have generated sufficient royalties to purchase a vinyl version of the record. Gonna splash some of that writer cash.

Pub Daaaaay!!!

The landscape of my interior life is littered with ideas. Notably, it's a bit harder to find execution amongst the dreamer's detritus within. But in at least one way, that changes today. 

I am super-thrilled to announce that today my book, The Adventures of JoJo The Small Town Hound: Vol. 1, Leesburg, VA and the Curious Case of Dog Money, is live in the world, available on Amazon.com for your enjoyment. Or that of your 7-10 year-old friends, more accurately.

The whole thing has been a fascinating experience, and I think the thing that's most fulfilling is the fact that I actually did something I'd envisioned. Only took 53+ years. Here's to the next one.

WFCSAGS: How Are They Doing?

Over the years, we've blessed/cursed the assembled Gheorhiage with rooting interests in various (mostly) English (mostly) Premier League teams. A number in our number brought their own allegiances to the table. But as far as I can tell, we've never really done any sort of retrospective/where are they now post about our squadrons' respective fates. Until now, that is.

I really could've chosen a scientific method for choosing the order in which we'd attack this challenge, but I'm kinda selfish, and I'm gonna start with me and my mediocre side. Fulham currently sit in 13th in the EPL on 39 points, nine more than their closest pursuer, and 14 points above the relegation zone. The Whites are safe (ain't that true) after a season where loftier goals briefly flashed. On balance, though, success.

Shlara's (and Prince William's) Aston Villa have been far sportier under the brilliant Unai Emery. With six matches to play, the Villans are deadlocked with Squeaky and Rootsy's Tottenham Hotspur on 60 points. Spurs have a game in hand and a slightly better goal difference. The top four teams in the EPL automatically qualify for Champions League play, so the fight for fourth is consequential. Unless England top Germany and Italy for a fifth slot in the newly-configured UEFA rules, in which case...fuck, man, that's complicated. Both of these teams are good, and they'll play in some European competition next year. Let's leave it at that. Except to note that Villa is alive in the quarterfinals of the UEFA Conference League, the third-tier continental competition, which...fuck, man...that's complicated.

Danimal's Manchester City have a far simpler path, at least domestically. They're in the midst of a three-way (get your simple minds out of the gutter) battle for supremacy in England. With seven matches to play, Arsenal and Liverpool are tied on 71 points, with City a slim point behind. Pep Guardiola's Blues are still alive in Champions League and FA Cup action, fighting on three fronts. Since they're arguably the best club side in the world, it'd be hard to bet against them in any of those competitions.

Marls and Dave pull for a pair of squads with different aspirations but similar disappointment. Newcastle United flew a bit too close to the sun in their first flirtation with the elites as their newest incarnation, flaming out of the Champions League and sliding back to 8th in the Premier League amidst a rash of injuries that even Saudi money couldn't overcome. Dave's Brentford buzzed around mostly impotently, alighting on 15th place in the Premier League, with a bit of work yet to do before they can start planning for another season in the top flight.

Leicester City came out of the gate a house a'fire, shrugging off the shock of relegation by making a statement about the impermanence of their fate. Whit's Foxes (one of the worst Charlie's Angels knockoffs we can recall) won 13 of their first 14 English League Championship matches, setting a sporty pace for the rest of the division. Since mid-February, however, they've won three, drawn one, and lost six. They're tied with Ipswich Town on 88 points at the top of the table, with Leeds United one point back and four matches remaining. The top two teams earn automatic promotion to the Premier League, while the third-place team fights it out in a four-team tournament for the final spot at the top. White knuckle ride for Leicester Nation.

Zman and his Canaries have been out of the spotlight for a while, but they've got a puncher's chance of changing that, thanks in no small part to Josh Sargent, American Ginger. Norwich City are in sixth place in the Championship with a five-point cushion over seventh-place Coventry City, and in line for a spot in the the four-way cage match for the final promotion spot. Sargent's battled back from injury to record 15 goals in just 22 games, good for fifth in the league despite playing 14 fewer matches than anyone above him in the scoring table. If he keeps it up, we could see him lead the line for the Yanks in 2026.

Finally, we get to our man Teej, who manages to hold two different allegiances in his capacious heart. His Michael Bolton Wanderers are at risk of surprising us all and jumping up to the Championship. Bolton are currently in third place, two points behind Derby County, but holding a game in hand over the Rams with three to play. It's happening, says us.  

Meanwhile, the Teej's Forward Madison are off to a strong start here stateside, unbeaten through three USL League One matches, and still unbeaten in terms of their kit design.

We'll close with bonus content for the many who've embraced a lower-level team from Wales as their side piece. If you were to write a script, the three-season arc that's seen Wrexham fail to earn promotion from the National League, then rise to League Two and find itself on the verge of a consecutive promotion to League One would be met with raised eyebrows. If you added Deadpool and Rob McElhenney, you'd be charged with crimes against Hollywood. And yet, here we are. Wrexham sit second on the English League Two table, needing only five points in their final three matches to secure their place in League One. The documentary just keeps getting better.

Opening Day Closure

I find Major League Baseball's Opening Day celebrations better than just about any other. For one, the start of the baseball season marks the transition from winter to spring, so the sense of renewal is amplified. There's a reason "hope springs eternal" was written about baseball, or at least it should have been. 

Beyond the seasonal angle, ballclubs have gotten really good at using their home openers to celebrate their city, their team, and their history. This week, my own team did it up right.

The Red Sox were already going to have an epic home opener this year, given this is the 20th anniversary of what Sports Illustrated called "The Most Amazing Season in History". But when the members of that team gathered at Fenway on Tuesday for the first home game of the 2024 season, they were also there to celebrate the life of one of their own, gone too soon.

We wrote about Tim Wakefield's untimely passing when it happened last year. Wake might not have been my favorite Sox player of all time, but he was on the short list. That affection was based as much on his character and humility as it was on his on-field exploits, but he did wind up third all-time on the Sox' pitching wins list, and he pitched more innings in a Boston uniform than any other pitcher.

And so it came to pass that the normal anticipation that accompanies opening day was mixed with sadness and appreciation when Brianna Wakefield, the 18 year-old daughter of Tim and Stacy (in an epic bit of shitty business, Wake's wife passed from cancer shortly after her husband), took the mound to throw the first pitch of the 2024 season to Jason Varitek.

@nesn Yesterday Tim and Stacy Wakefield’s daughter, Brianna, threw out the first pitch at Fenway Park surrounded by her father’s 2004 #RedSox ♬ original sound - NESN

Dry eyes? I assume there were a few at Fenway. But not in my house.

Lotta ball left. Stay on target. Godspeed, Wake.

Problem Child

There are times as a parent where you clearly see echoes of your own idiosyncrasies in your kids. Case in point, my youngest kid's absolutely intractable stubbornness is a frustrating mirror image of my own, though we're both getting better. A little.

On other occasions, parents often get to experience aspects of their kids' interests, aptitudes, and attitudes that seem wholly unfamiliar to our own. My eldest, who goes by k (lowercase intentional), is a brilliantly charismatic performer, fierce and fearless. And neither my wife nor I possess a scintilla of whatever gene sparked those attributes.

Sometimes, the two poles mix, and we get to see our kids as the delightful mix of us and them they were destined to become. At the end of the month, my eldest culminates their collegiate dance career by presenting a significant piece of their creation. Senior dance majors at VCU are required to cast, choreograph, and stage a performance of their own making. The overall theme of this year's senior performances is Two Truths. Half of the class presented their work last semester. The other half, including my kid, presents theirs the last weekend of the month.

Here's where we get to the multitudes contained within. Check out this description of my kid's work, as they wrote it, and as it'll appear in the program for the performance:

“this is a secret language. this is a cult activity.

“problem children” investigates the idea of queer movement, and its capabilities of transformation – from human into creature, from language into gibberish, from legible into queered. informed by improvisation, writing, choicemaking, vulnerability, honesty, silliness, and the embrace of a queer sensibility, “problem children” aims to plunge the audience into a creature world, from which they will emerge bewildered and full of joy.”

I see a whole lot of myself in the joy, silliness, and honesty. And I am baffled by a lot of the other elements, even as I know they're exactly how my kid sees themselves and represent issues and ideas they wrestle with as they find their place in the world.

When the seniors presented a draft of their work to the dance faculty a month or so ago, k's advisors were generally approving, but told them to feel free to let more k come out in the work. In other words, let k be k. I'm anticipating an outrageously unusual, silly, giddy, awkward, challenging, and fun piece. And I fully expect to emerge bewildered and full of joy. If you're in the Greater Richmond area the last week of the month, come join in on the cult activity.

Redemption Song

Just when I think I've got nothing for Twitter/X and it's got nothing for me, I see this.

I've been playing mediocre guitar for 26 years. I could quit my job and play all day every day for whatever time I've got left and never come close to this. This dude was 16 when this was recorded. This shit is bananas, and I know you know how to spell that.

Play on, brother...

Your Sunday Reflection

Gabor Maté is a Canadian physician of some renown. He's an expert in the psychological impacts of childhood trauma. He's got some words of wisdom for us on this serene Sunday morning. 

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Dr Rangan Chatterjee (@drchatterjee)

Your Moment of Zen

Saw this on the socials last week. Felt like it should be honored in this august space. Fucktangular takes its rightful place alongside asshat, fuckstick, and the rest in our esteemed vocabulary. Presence of greatness, indeed.

We're All Witnesses

Well, most of us. I didn't get to see the LSU/Iowa game last night, but that worked out for the best. I think we (meaning, the broader sports-enjoying populace) will look back on the games that took place yesterday in the NCAA Women's Basketball Tournament as historically significant. Four excellent teams paced by four transcendent players competing at a high level and watched by record numbers of viewers. 

The groundbreaking women that founded and run TOGETHXR sell a line of merch with the slogan 'Everyone Watches Women's Sports'. After last night, that may well go from aspirational to actual. And so, for posterity's sake, the highlights from an epic evening:

The Full Story

Years ago in my previous life as a newspaper guy, I had occasion to write a feature story about a local high school coach. Successful. Personable. Admired by players and parents, respected by his peers. Through conversations and research, I learned that his father had passed away several years earlier. His father was one of his role models, a huge influence on his life and career. 

During one conversation, he revealed that his father had committed suicide. It was devastating for the family, but he gradually opened up about how it affected him going forward. It made him more aware of and sensitive to depression and mental health. He tried not to wall off thoughts and emotions and to communicate better with his own family. He thought it made him a better coach, because he tried to be more receptive to his players and their situations. 

As I wrote the piece, the coach’s father’s suicide and subsequent ripples weren’t central to the narrative, but I wove them in as a component of the whole, among stats and accomplishments and quotes about his life and impact on others. A day or two before the piece was scheduled to run, the coach called and asked that I not include his dad’s suicide and his remarks about it. He said it was still a painful subject for the family and they didn’t want it publicized. 

We haggled a bit. I asked if people outside the family were aware of it. He allowed that it was kind of an open secret within their community but he didn’t know how widely known. I said that I tried to handle it sensitively in the piece, that bringing it to light might help others experiencing similar situations themselves or in their families, that he had spoken movingly and eloquently about a difficult subject. 

He appreciated the possible benefits but was still uncomfortable with the publicity. I told him that I’d speak to my boss and relay his request. My boss wasn’t thrilled with the idea of removing that story thread, though understood the reluctance to expose a family tragedy. In addition, we would have to continue to deal with not only the coach, but the entire high school coaching community. If they thought we had betrayed a confidence or exploited a sensitive situation for the sake of a more memorable story, that would reflect poorly on the paper and make our work more difficult. 

In the end, I removed the dad’s suicide and reworked the story into a boilerplate feature: good coach; a little background; stats and records; here’s what everybody says about him. Perfectly acceptable piece. But it was lacking. I knew it. He knew it. His family and inner circle knew it. He was hugely grateful. 

I think about that story now and then, particularly in the past few days, in the wake of the Shohei Ohtani interpreter gambling kerfuffle and a completely unrelated piece on the sports and cultural website Defector with the headline: “You Never Get The Full Story.” 

The Ohtani situation is weird and convoluted, with several components that don’t pass the smell test: competing explanations; empty days before a denial and counter accusations; interpreter/aide/friend with unfettered access to mega-star’s seven-figure account; said mega-star’s supposed complete ignorance of the matter. 

Here’s hoping that further reporting will provide answers and clarity, rather than more questions. The Defector piece is by and about a woman discussing the complications of putting together a podcast or documentary that attempts to straddle the line between journalism and collaboration with subjects and interviewees. One of the author’s and documentarian’s points is that journalism, and storytelling in general, is an imbalance heavily tilted toward the storytell-er and not the storytell-ee. That’s accurate in many, though certainly not all, cases. 

The headline, however, rings true damn near all the time. Journalism, or to be more precise, reporting, is a trade-off. Reporters have a certain level of access and inquiry. They compile information as quickly and thoroughly as possible and, based on their judgment and knowledge, present it within the constraints of time and space and available material. Some stories lend themselves to follow-ups, based on individuals or subject matter. Some do not. The former provide more information and context, but does that make the picture fuller or the canvas broader? 

With the latter, reporters and editors simply hope that they got it close to right in their lone shot. It’s almost by nature incomplete. Good reporters agonize about this. They always want more information, more time, more space to tell better, more complete stories, which they come to realize often ain’t gonna happen. They do the best they can that day and try again the next. The landscape is littered with partially or unreported stories, from government and business f*ckery to local topics and people worthy of recognition. 

It’s increasingly challenging to tell those stories, as news outlets wither and disappear, and powerful interests are shielded by money and layers of protection. In Ohtani’s case, there are also language and cultural components that add another level of difficulty. As for the documentarian’s and podcaster’s concerns about exploitative journalism, the journalist or reporter is responsible for treating subjects courteously, if not respectfully, when warranted. There are times when being adversarial is appropriate – hell, necessary – and times to pull back rather than open a wound, even if doing so would make for a better story.

Gheorghe's 6-Pack: World Party

Who is Mike Scott? 

It depends upon whom you ask. You'll get different answers from different pockets of people. 

If you ask OBXDave, I bet he'd first say that Mike Scott is the Houston Astros pitcher who dominated the National League in 1986 with his newfound, profound splitter, something he developed after scuffling for the Mets for a few years in the early 80's. (He went from scuffling to scuffing, it's said.) The Mets traded him for Danny Heep and then suffered twice over. In '86, this Mike Scott struck out over 300 in '86, won the Cy Young, threw a frickin' no-hitter, and was a whisper away from starting a Game 7 in an utterly insane NLCS that I'm super glad didn't go 7. Danny Heep... did none of those things. 

That's not who I came to write about today.

If you ask rob and AuguryDave, I bet they'd first say that Mike Scott is our pledge brother who also goes by deep cover pseudonyms such as Mitch Scotch, Miles Scoles, Milt Scolt, and Mick Scock. This Mike Scott is a Cherry Hill guy who's an artist in NYC. He once had works in an exhibit comprised of all Legos, ones that featured renderings of up-close faces like Mike Tyson getting punched and porn stars in climactic moments. At least that's what I recall from it, as it was back in my drinkin' days. This Mike Scott was a prop / second row guy and is a quiet but quick wit. Great guy. 

That's not who I came to write about today.

If you ask one of our children, I bet they'd first say that Mike Scott is the former boss at the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin. He's an HR nightmare and hideously off-putting with his insecuri-comedy, but he is ultimately lovable and gets the job done. He founded the Michael Scott's Dunder Mifflin Scranton Meredith Palmer Memorial Celebrity Rabies Awareness Pro-Am Fun Run Race for the Cure. He resides in Colorado, not far from TR. Reportedly.

That's not who I came to write about today.

If you ask someone who listens to the kind of alt-80's and 90's music that Squeaky, Dave, rob, and I (among others) enjoyed who was not also our fraternity brother, I bet they might say that Mike Scott is the leader of The Waterboys. This Mike Scott is a Scot (and a Scott) who enjoyed minor success in the milieu of Celtic rock or something that sounds less dorky and pompous. A multi-instrumentalist who has had some solo work but is best known for the Waterboys catalogue. 

You all know "Fisherman's Blues," perhaps most famous for being covered by Random Idiots as "Fischel Man's Blues." You may well be familiar with "Whole of the Moon." You probably don't know "Old England," "This Is the Sea," "Red Army Blues," or the sublime "Church Not Made with Hands," but you should. [ed. Note: Seems like a Waterboys 6-Pack is coming.] Their double-discer The Live Adventures of the Waterboys isn't on Spotify, and it's their best starter kit. [ed. Note: Seems like a Notify is coming.] Anyway, all of this music is a product of this Mike Scott. 

Oddly, that's not who I came to write about today.

I came to write about Karl Wallinger. That's right. You see, Karl Wallinger was another multi-instrumentalist like Mike Scott (and Rootsy) who was a member of The Waterboys for a few formative years in which the band generated all of the above songs save "Fisherman's Blues." His influence is apparent, and his role with the band was large enough for him to pull a "this town ain't big enough for the both of us" and split in 1985. One song he co-wrote with that Mike Scott before departing was eventually recorded and released in 1998. It was based on watching Live Aid and was called "World Party."

World Party became Karl's band name, though it was mostly him at work there. [Factoid #... however-many: Mike Scott himself took the name "Waterboy[s]" from the sort-of chorus lyric in the Lou Reed song "The Kids."] World Party had a tidy but enjoyable run at the modern rock charts whilst a few of us were matriculating, and I have a couple of their discs. 

A couple of weeks ago, Karl Wallinger had a stroke and passed on at the age of 66. Here's a nod to the work he issued while he attended the great big world party called life.

Gheorghe's 6-Pack: World Party

Vitals
Where: Karl is from Prestatyn, Wales; World Party debuted in London
When: 1986-2015
Who: Karl Wallinger mostly, with live and studio performers scattered throughout

One more factoid: As you might be able to tell in the picture above, Karl Wallinger is right-handed but turns a righty-geetar upside down and plays lefty. 

Earworm Exorcism!

A year and a half ago, Marls told me I was too stupid to make a podcast. He said I was a mouth-breathing troglodyte with spoiled tapioca pudding for brains and that the constitutional right of freedom of speech should not apply to me (those might not have been his exact words). 

He may have been right-- until now. 

In honor of Marls, I humbly present the greatest (and possibly most dangerous) audio project ever slapped together in the history of mankind (or at least the history of Greasetruck Studios).

What an excellent day for an earworm exorcism. 

"Earworm Exorcism" is an obsessive, comprehensive, and digressive deep dive into how these insidious creatures worm their way into our brains, wrap around our cerebral cortex, and make us susceptible to suggestions of the catchiest kind. 

Thanks to this guy for that description . . .

This is the longest, most ambitious, and most complicated podcast I've ever done. I don't think anything like this exists on the internet. 

It is a montage of the sounds that capture our consciousness (and the theory and philosophy of why and how they do this).

But be warned: your brain might not survive unscathed . . . this many earworms have NEVER been assembled in one place before. 

Here's a visual of how many audio clips are wedged into this episode.

In other news, I recently took a photo of a fox.

I assure you that this episode of We Defy Augury is of much better quality than that photo. 

Music to Make Y'all Happy

The Steel Wheels are an Americana/folk outfit from the Blue Ridge Mountains near Harrisonburg, VA. They've been playing together in various configurations since 2005. I'd hazard guess that the Rootstone Jug Band might've shared a bill with them at some point along the way.

Lead singer and primary songwriter Trent Wagler happens to have a daughter who's a second-year dance student at Virginia Commonwealth University, just a couple years behind my kid. Wagler's daughter took over the VCUarts dance program's Instagram this morning. And that's how I happened upon this beautiful song and video from the band's new record, which features Wagler's kid and some of her colleagues at VCU. I couldn't love it more, unless my kid was one of the dancers featured. As it is, several of their friends are. 

Sublime Human Tricks

Little bit of mellow human harmony to get your Sunday started on the right note. Pun so, so intended.

English musician Jacob Collier is variously described as a "musical prodigy", a "multi-instrumental musical maximalist", and "one of the most inventive and gifted musicians working today". The 29 year-old has six Grammys and two Album of the Year nominations. His newest record, Djesse Vol. 4, features collaborations with artists from Brandi Carlisle to Chris Martin to Steve Vai to Kirk Franklin to Camilo to Anoushka Shankar. And until yesterday, I'd never heard of him.

As frequently happens late into the evening on weekends, I was wandering around the musical interwebs when I stumbled upon Collier. It wasn't his music that I found so interesting. Rather his habit of turning his live audiences into harmonic musical partners. For example:

Collier's critics say his prolific energy means he never stays in one place, musically, long enough to have a real voice of his own. It's true that his stuff is all over the place, from lullabyes to fuzzy pop rock to ethereal new agey. It strikes me that in that diversity is a uniqueness. I think I'll celebrate his whole catalogue. Even the weird stuff.

U.S. Reed and the 49-Foot Memory Maker

There's an ongoing political meme happening in the zeitgeist at the moment because That Fucking Guy mused aloud about whether people were better off today than four years ago. Over at The Bulwark, Jonathan V. Last has been making sport of the question, pointing out that four years ago we were locked in our houses afraid to touch anything while also being told that this little viral kerfuffle was going to go away in a few minutes.

As for the Gheorghieverse, we were more focused on important things like sports. The cancellation of the NCAA Tournament meant that all we had left were the memories. So as a reminder of that bygone and damned time and a celebration of what we have back that we took for granted, today we re-up a post from March 2020. Do enjoy.

Big Besiktas fan here. Go Black Eagles.

It's increasingly likely that we'll not see anything resembling the live sports to which we're accustomed for an extended period of time. The television/radio listings in this morning's Washington Post, which usually run to eight column inches of small type, offer us a meager two entries today: a Turkish Super Lig soccer match between Besiktas and Galatasaray at noon, and the World Series of Bowling Storm XI at 1:30.

If you think I'm not watching that soccer game from Turkey that features two of the country's big three, you don't know me all that well.

But if the games must not go on, we do have the benefit of the memories of the games that did to remind us why this time of year is often such a thrill. 

Thirty-nine years ago yesterday, and I remember it as if it were, like, 20 years ago. The shot Arkansas' U.S. Reed hit to beat Louisville is one of my earliest NCAA Tournament memories. The Razorbacks, seeded fifth in the West, fell behind fourth seed and defending National Champion Louisville with five seconds to play on a Derek Smith jumper in the the lane. The Cardinals' press had bothered Arkansas all game, so coach Eddie Sutton instructed his team to just get the ball as far up the court as they could.

And then this happened:

Sports was pretty cool.

The Curse of G:TB is NOT a Thing

At the risk of an epic jinx, or more accurately, the risk of bad timing when something inevitable happens, we come today to talk about one of the more remarkable runs of form in major European soccer history.

Bayer Leverkusen's Alex Grimaldo might be
the best free kick taker in all of Europe

Bayern Munich are the undisputed apex predator of German footy. The Bavarian giants have won the Bundesliga title 32 of the 52 times it's been contested, and the past 11. They've won the DFB-Pokal, Germany's open cup competition, 20 times - no other team has won more than six. Though they were fortunate to take last year's trophy (as Dortmund tied mid-table Mainz and handed the title to Munich), there were no signs that the mighty squad would do anything other than cruise to a 12th consecutive championship. In fact, they looked to get even stronger when they added English superstar Harry Kane to a prodigiously talented roster.

A funny thing happened on the way to the Salatschüssel, in one of those happenstances that sport is so good at delivering every so often. 

Bayer Leverkusen was founded 119 years ago, and has been in top division of German football for the last 45 years. They've finished as runner-ups five times, most recently in 2010-11, and have never won the league. The won the Pokal in 1992-93, which is by far the greatest moment in club history, except perhaps winning the UEFA Cup (the second-tier continental tournament at the time) in 1986-87. Over the past several years, Die Werkself (the company's team, so known because the team was associated with the Bayer pharmaceutical company at it's founding) has finished fifth, fifth, fourth, sixth, third, and sixth in the Bundesliga, solid and competitive. But there was nothing at all over that time that hinted at what was to come this year.

Or maybe not nothing at all. In October 2022, legendary midfielder Xabi Alonso (who played at Real Sociedad, Liverpool, Real Madrid, and Bayern Munich and earned 114 caps for Spain) took over as Leverkusen's manager. At the time, the team found itself fighting a relegation battle, second-to-last in the league with a quarter of the season already played. Alonso's possession-based style and innovative tactics proved effective in his first high-level coaching stint, and Leverkusen easily escaped relegation and rose all the way to sixth at the end of the season.

Leverkusen lost, 3-0, to VfL Bochum, on the last matchday of the 2022-23 season. Alonso's team haven't lost a match in any competition since. They've won 22 and tied four in 26 Bundesliga matches, and have advanced to the semifinals of the DFB Pokal and the quarterfinals of the Europa League (the successor to the UEFA Cup). Last weekend, they were on the brink of defeat in their Europa League Round of 16 match against Azerbaijani side Qarabağ FK, when they did this:

All told, Leverkusen haven't lost in 38 consecutive matches, breaking the German mark of 33 previously held by Bayern Munich. With eight matches left in the Bundesliga, their 10-point margin means they're likely to break Munich's stranglehold on the division, although stranger things have definitely happened.

Alonso's success at Leverkusen has resulted in a lot of speculation about his future, which was amplified as soon as Jurgen Klopp announced his resignation from Liverpool. It's an easy sell for Liverpool supporters, who remember Alonso's 143 matches and 2004-5 Champions League title with the Reds and see his style as complementary to Klopp's heavy metal football.

Leverkusen are the only first division club still alive in the Pokal, which makes them odds-on favorites to lift their second cup. They face Premier League West Ham in a two-leg Europa League knockout April 11 and 18, which represents the toughest challenge they'll face until they go to Borussia Dortmund in league play on April 21. They'll almost certainly lose one of the maximum of 14 matches still to come. 

Which will NOT be our fault. Don't @ us, Leverkusen fans. We're celebrating you, too.

March Maddening

The calendar’s best sporting event is upon us, which seems a good time to point out that we should enjoy it while it lasts in its present form because the Big Hats appear to be considering ways to alter the experience and to further enrich the few. 

We speak, of course, of the NCAA basketball tournament. The NCAAs are three weeks of the best that college basketball offers, with intriguing matchups and compelling performances and buzzer-beaters, with just enough upsets and unlikely teams to mask how tilted the overall field is toward the privileged. I’ve whipped that dead nag previously, so I’ll go light in this installment. 

Going forward, the changes being contemplated are in the name of progress, evolution, and governance. Squint and those components might read like “money.” The tournament’s current format has been in place since 1985, when the field expanded to 64 teams. A 65th team and play-in game were added in 2001. Three more teams and the “First Four” concept in 2011 gave us the present 68-team field – 32 conference champions, 36 at-large invitations. 

Discussion about expanding the tournament to 96 teams has been around for more than a decade, a truly terrible idea that I’m convinced will come eventually. It embodies the questionable notion that “if some is good, more is better.” An expanded field would provide at least an extra week of programming and content, which means larger payouts from TV networks. 

The primary reason I think an expanded field is coming has more to do with football than basketball. Football-fueled expansion and realignment has created 16- and 18-team mega-conferences, with no telling what sort of consolidation might occur in the next several years. Those leagues and schools are going to expect (read: demand) the same NCAA Tournament participation percentages in the new landscape. In other words, four or five or six teams from a historic 10- or 12-team league will become seven or eight or nine teams from oversized collections. 

For reference, in the past decade more than 81 percent of at-large bids to the NCAA field have gone to the Power Six conferences (ACC, SEC, Big Ten, Big 12, Big East, and the soon-to-be late, lamented Pac-12). Add the recent ascendant and multi-bid Mountain West Conference, and the remaining 25 leagues might be fighting for scraps. 

In addition, what might NCAA governance look like in the future? Will there even be an NCAA? The power football conferences, bolstered by gajillions in TV money, are doing their own thing. What passed for NCAA leadership has been all but neutered as the organization flails about trying to get a handle on athlete empowerment. Who and what might administer the basketball tournament? 

ESPN snoop Pete Thamel recently posted a piece that said talks are ongoing about a possible 80-team hoops tournament. Plenty of people are quoted in the piece calling the NCAA Tournament a “treasure” and hoping to preserve it in something resembling its present form, that the model shouldn’t simply be blown up and re-created simply because a new power structure is in place. Yet SEC commissioner Greg Sankey, a smart fellow who can step into a leadership vacuum when he sees it, might have given away the goal within the penthouse boardroom: “Nothing remains static. I think we have to think about the dynamics around Division I and the tournament.” He pointed out UCLA’s recent run from First Four to Final Four and Syracuse’s run to the Sweet 16 from a play-in appearance and said, “That just tells you that the bandwidth inside the top 50 is highly competitive. We are giving away highly competitive opportunities for automatic qualifiers (from lower-rated leagues), and I think that pressure is going to rise as we have more competitive basketball leagues at the top end because of expansion.” 

There you have it. The NCAA Tournament not as (relatively) inclusive reward for a season’s accomplishment, but an additional exposure for the membership’s elite brands. Kinda makes you wish for something more pure and less mercenary, like an Apple stock buyback or a Silicon Valley IPO.

Pluck of the Irish

Only fitting on this day that we celebrate Ireland rugby's hard-fought 17-13 win over a game Scotland squad in Dublin yesterday. The win on the final matchday of the 2024 Six Nations gave the Irish back to back titles. The hard-luck Scots dropped all the way to fourth in the table. 

So if you have occasion today, and I suspect you do, tip one back in honor of the lads in green.

Annoying Words, Redux

Nearly 15 years ago, in a very different age, Whitney took to these interwebz to decry the use of the trite in most conversation and how it signals a lack of creativity. At least that's how I took it.

Among other things, he took aim at "it is what it is". He had no way of knowing at the time that my father would fall back on that phrase to deflect well-meaning concern from folks worried about the progress of the cancer that would eventually take him. Fucking cancer.

I digress.

And I write what follows with some trepidation, because "it is what it is" became meaningful enough to me that a graphic variant of the phrase is tattooed on my arm. Let's hope nobody here has cause to claim "thank you for all that you do".

I don't love the ubiquitous "thank you for your service" many people offer to our military and veterans, but it's a damn sight better than how we treated uniformed service members early in my life, and it at least acknowledges a specific sacrifice made.

"Thank you for all that you do", on the other hand, is the absolute bare minimum one human can offer another. It requires no creativity, no active thought about what the received actually, y'know, does. It's the gratitudinal equivalent to saying "you are here". 

In first encountered the phrase in question in a corporate setting, when some anodyne executive thanked a team by using it. I knew from the moment he said it that he didn't really know what the team did or how they contributed. Or if he did know, didn't care enough to take the 30 seconds to think about it and offer a tiny little customized grace note.

Once I started hearing it, I became attuned to it. Politicians say it as pablum to feed constituents. Parents say it to teachers - guarantee Dave has heard it (or at least had it directed to him - not sure Dave listens much to other people). 

Look, I know that cliches exist for a reason - they're a shorthand that can be helpful in certain situations. And I'm prone to my own verbal and written crutches (this sentence offers one such exhibit - I start way too many sentences with "and"- this is the second one in this short post). Dammit, though, when I'm trying to tell someone I appreciate them, I try really hard to be sincere, and at least offer an inflection that conveys I mean what I'm saying. 

It's possible I'm becoming (even more) curmudgeonly as I age, and that I protest too much about an innocuous platitude. I can only offer my own testimony here. You may not share my opinion. If that's the case, I hope you have a great day, and thank you for all that you do.

Best of Enemies

Last Sunday, Jurgen Klopp's Liverpool tied Pep Guardiola's Manchester City, 1-1, in a cracker of a Premier League match at Liverpool's Anfield Stadium. The two teams are separated by one point in the league table with 10 matches to play. To make things even more potentially epic, Arsenal is tied with Liverpool and technically atop the table on point differential.

In late January, Klopp announced his intent to leave Liverpool at the end of the season after 8 and a half years with the club. During that span, Klopp won a Premier League title, a Champions League trophy, the FIFA Club World Cup, the FA Cup, the League Cup and the UEFA Super Cup. He will go down as one of the most beloved managers in club history, as much for his Teutonic Care Bear personality and rollicking, fast-paced, pressing football as for his results.

@meninblazers JURGEN KLOPP GIVES THE BEST HUGS. "It's very important that you're empathic. That you try to understand the people around you and give real support to the people around you." #LFC #Liverpool #Klopp ♬ original sound - Men in Blazers

While Liverpool fans revere Klopp, one imagines that they wonder what might have been if Guardiola hadn't been at City at the same time (and the Emirati-owned club hadn't spent prolifically - and allegedly illegally - on amassing exceptional talent). Guardiola has been in Manchester since 2016, and won five Premier League crowns, two FA Cups, four League Cups, a Champions League title, a UEFA Super Cup and a FIFA Club World Cup.

If the results on the field in England were tilted towards Guardiola, the two managers are actually evenly matched across their careers. Over the course of their careers, the pair have met 29 times (Before England, Klopp coached Borussia Dortmund in Germany against Guardiola's Bayern Munich). Klopp's teams have won 12, Guardiola's 11, with six draws. No manager in world football has beaten Guardiola more times than Klopp.

There are rare occasions in sport and, really, in any endeavor, where rivals compete intensely while maintaining great personal respect and in doing both, elevate their profession. Klopp and Guardiola have undeniably changed English football from a smashmouth war of attrition to an attractive, pressing, intense competition.

And the two know it and respect the others' contribution to the game. Klopp recently said of Guardiola, "I knew 3,000 players who were better than me but I still loved the game. It never frustrated me, he made me a better manager. I know I am not bad but he is the best." 

For his part, Guardiola admitted, "Personally he has been my biggest rival from when he was at Dortmund and I was at Bayern Munich. He will be missed, personally I will miss. I am pleased because without him I will sleep a little bit better the night before we play against Liverpool! But I wish him all the best."

The two exchanged words and a warm embrace after Sunday's classic. We won't likely see a better rivalry any time soon.

We're a Joey Votto Fan Site Now

I come before you today to rectify a great wrong. We have failed as a collective in our duty to the world. How is it possible that we've never feted Joey Votto, among the Gheorghiest athletes of our time?

🇨🇦 @JoeyVotto 🇨🇦 pic.twitter.com/7bxFn5EaFK

— Toronto Blue Jays (@BlueJays) March 9, 2024

The 40 year-old Votto signed a minor league deal this week with his hometown Toronto Blue Jays after 17 seasons with the Cincinnati Reds, where he became a fixture on the field and in the community. Votto has 356 career homers and a slash line of .409/.511/.920, making him among the most excellent players of his era. He's also unquestionably at or near the very top of the list of funniest and least self-important major leaguers. 

We've compiled a handful of videos that tell the story better than our words could. Here's hoping Votto makes the Jays' major league roster and gives us a few more of these.