Wednesday, March 17, 2010

The Naming Convention

What's in a name?

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet; i.e., "Rhymenocerous" begat "TR," and all indications are that he still smells the same.

As life moves on, there are times when it suits individuals to become anonymous. Our old chum Darren use to proclaim it as one of the three guiding principles of his life in college:

1. Remain anonymous at all costs.
2. Ignore your problems until they go away.
3. If they don't go away, they were too big to handle in the first place.

For others, it's a "time and place" sort of issue, usually precipitated by parents, employers, or psychotic ex-girlfriends. As such, now is the time when one of your favorite Gheorghe contributors is poised to adopt a pen name. Though you may claim he's more George Evans than Mark Twain, he's eager to shed the constraints of his given name and take on a clever cloak of mystery.

To that end, please let the comments of this post serve as a communal Suggestion Box for clever blogonyms from which to select the best moniker as deep cover ensues.

Thank you kindly for your participation.

43 comments:

zoltan said...

How about Lil' Pud?

Whitney said...

That's a start...

zoltan said...

According to ESPN, "Report: Russell slimmer, more fit"

They meant JaMarcus.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=5002368

TJ said...

I believe "Boner" is available again.

Geoff said...

The Rex Cannon is a Redskin. I'm moist.

rob said...

geoff, get the fuck out of here. metaphorically.

rob said...

as for the new nom de blog, i think carleton is perfect. similarly snootypants, has the benefit of being part of someone's actual name.

rob said...

i also really enjoyed our comrade-in-arms' use of 'average jimmy' in a different blog environment.

Whitney said...

Rex has a nice ring to it. Nice work, Geoff.

I'm thinking Sven, short for Svengali. I'm sort of a sinister master of puppets around here, wouldn't you say?

rob said...

how about jack, short for jackalope?

Dan said...

patches o'houlighan

TJ said...

Call yourself Locke. Or Jacob.

Dan said...

whit - regarding your masters/tiger comment yesterday. a week/10 days ago, i think i mentioned that i thought we'd see tiger soon based on recent article in golf digest, where tiger is essentially the editor-in-chief. subsequent to that, called a guy that's really in the know, asking if he knew anything. he claimed not to, as i fully expected, but speculated that'd he play at bay hill and augusta.
odds are 3:1 on him winning. THAT...is unreal.

how about "Eldrick"

rob said...

how about yentihw? very close to yentl, your favorite movie, also uses the diabolically clever and unbreakable backward word code.

TJ said...

Here's a thought...
http://bit.ly/913ZVf

Whitney said...

"Nad" hates that code.

cgormley said...

Stupidly idiotic suggestions:
Double O Nick - homage to your basketball/spy career,
Brock or DJ Blogolicious

Remember Guinness is good for you.

Dan said...

whit's carleton

Dave said...

did we call you "the vulture," or was it "the buzzard"? I can't remember, but it works either way-- a reference to your inebriated pick-up style with the ladies and a good blogging/commenting nickname.

Dave said...

or why don't you sign everything like this:

sincerely,

a random idiot

Dave said...

how about "Smoke Good."

Dave said...

or "Pit Dweller."

Dave said...

now i think i want a cooler blogging name than "dave."

i've got it! from now on, call me "ishmael."

Geoff said...

CottonGin&Tonic?

zoltan said...

What about Waldorf? Or Statler? Or is that gag done?

TJ said...

Dr. Rosenpenis.

Whitney said...

Eli, Mo, Whitey, Whitless, Whitcow, The Buzzard, The Franchise, Wild Thing, The Crane, and "that drunken, random idiot." Names from the past. Too easy.

Dave said...

how about resurrecting your "butt name"? i was "butt nugget"-- i think you were buttwhit.

Dave said...

i'm laughing now thinking about the brilliance of "butt butt."

Whitney said...

Jason remaned me Butt Plump after I put on some weight through the years.

What was Rob's Butt Name?

Dave said...

butt zit!

Dave said...

if anyone reads the gheorghe comments, it's going to be pretty easy to trace your pen name.

Whitney said...

Yeah, but our postcount is so high these days that within a few weeks, you'd have to do some serious sifting to find this.

Plus, Dave, with your lack of blogetiquette, it won't be long until you blow my cover, anyway.

rob said...

postcount is huge.

zoltan said...

If you worked with rob and crapped your pants you could be Shitney.

Dan said...

or whitstain

Dan said...

the whitstigator
the whitstitution

TR said...

I can't believe nobody went with the easiest name: Al Coholic.

Dennis said...

Dirk.

zoltan said...

Sally Sipper.

Dennis said...

For those who care, 2 paws up for Seattle. First time here...and for a guy going through an Asian phase, you can imagine my bliss. Oh and I made a ton of friends (the guy sitting next to me) at a bar last night as the random idiot screaming for this strange basketball team called "William and Mary". It was really difficult to express to strangers why I cared so much about that game....

Mark said...

Seamus. Whitney seems like a Seamus.

New post coming shortly.

TJ said...

Yep...you're right...there is...