Saturday, February 13, 2010

Dunk Contest. G:TB style.

I have not come to bash the dunk contest. The bashing of the dunk contest has become as staid and cliche as all those who bash the dunk contest claim it has become. I'm also not here to heap praise upon the dunk contest. It is not appointment viewing as it once was. In fact, it's no longer even the premier event of NBA All-Star Saturday. Sure, sometimes it generates great highlights and some buzz in the sports world but, essentially, its just another event in a weekend full of staged competitions (I'm using this word extremely loosely here). While we're here, I have a question. Has any sport-related event ever had an evolution that closely resembles that of NBA's Slam Dunk Contest? When you examine the evolutuion of the dunk contest, it's pretty remarkable. In just over 25 years it has morphed from a curiosity to a revolutionary event that changed the way America viewed professional basketball. From there it morphed into an event so watched that the NBA built an entire primetime television show (and eventually an entire weekend) around it. Then it eventually became a boring, tired event that was finally, mercifully cancelled...only to be brought back to life as a new generation of players expanded the possibilities of the dunk beyond our imagination (still Vince Carter's biggest career accomplishment). From there, it finally settled into what it currently is: A nice, fun event for players to attend and fans to watch but certainly nothing approaching the level it once resided at. But I digress.

As I said, this post isn't really about the dunk contest. It's about the dunk. The dunk is one of the most consistently spectacularly exciting plays in all of sports. No matter how many times you've seen people dunk, the next one always has the power to leave you awestruck, provided it's creative and/or nasty enough. This love of the dunk is why there will always be dunk contests. The NBA may one day eliminate it for good, but dunk contests will also exist. It's simple supply and demand.

Well, G:TB is nothing if not about the people. We aim to please. And nothing, in the world of dunk, pleases like a good, hard in-game dunk. In fact, when you look at the mission of G:TB, it fits perfectly with in-game dunking. Dunk contests are as much about the hype and posturing as the actual dunk. In order to be hugely successful in that format, you must take yourself seriously. This is not the case for in-game dunks. To execute a dunk upon a defender, one must lose themselves in the play and not worry about the results or what others will think. One must become the dunk. So, with that in mind, I present to you the top in-game dunks of the 2009-2010 NBA season.

Few guards have ever dunked with more ferocity or malice than Dwyane Wade...and this is among his finest.



Now, while Wade's dunk was undoubtedly sick. It's tough to beat a 6 footer (maybe) dunking on a 7 footer...and the foul.



(Mark Jackson should be ashamed of the terrible pun he dropped in that highlight. Mark, you're better than that.)

TJ's probably going to bitch about this not, technically, being a dunk. Just like he did about Dwight Howard's "Superman" dunk from a few years ago. And, technically, he's right. Doesn't matter. This is still banonkers. (While searching this dunk I came across another dunk Iguodala had on the Nets. Dude is a FREAK)



I think my favorite part of this dunk is that Derrick Rose cocked the ball back so he could make sure he dunked all over Goran Dragic. It must be nice to know there isn't a chance in hell your defender can block your shot.



(Stacey King has a poster machine? I want one.)

Finally, this is my personal favorite for a couple of different reasons. First, it's Corey Brewer and I love Corey Brewer. One of my top 3 favorite Gator basketball players ever. Secondly, its on Derek Fisher and I loathe Derek Fisher. As much as people like to blame Euros for the preponderance of flopping in the NBA, Fisher's as (or more) responsible for it as anyone. He popularized the practice of taking a charge off an opponent's spin move and probably deserves a lifetime achievement award from the Hollywood Foreign Press for all the times he's flopped after being "hit" with an elbow.



(Suck it, Fish.)

Finally, for kicks, a couple of old school in-gamers.

For TJ:



(The double point at Lister always gets me.)

One of my all time favorites, and one that's slipped through the cracks of history a bit.



(#14 dunk of all time? Really Best Damn Sports Show Period? You guys can suck my dick, period)

Enjoy the night, and the dunks, boys and girls.

51 comments:

zoltan said...

Excellent work. I love the immasculation that a ferocious dunk works on its victim.

zoltan said...

Or perhaps emasculation. Whatever. I can't dunk. I emasculate no one but myself.

Mark said...

Yep, the combined reactions of the dunker, dunkee (?) and the crowd are what really push a great in-game dunk over the top.

TJ said...

Alton Liston pisses himself every time that video is played.

Mark said...

I tried to grab Kemp's dunk on Chris Gatling too (you know, the one where Gatling actually gives him five afterward) but couldn't find a good enough version of it.

Mark said...

Alton Lister doesn't like the Kemp dunk either. Not sure who Alton Liston is (Sonny's kid?) or why he reacts to the Kemp dunk in such a manner.

TJ said...

Spelling fail

rob said...

that rose dunk is otherworldly

Mark said...

I'm trying not to overstate the importance of Florida's game against Xavier, buuuut their tourney bid chances may end up resting on it.

rob said...

florida's band stealing mason's 'living on a prayer' standard?

mayhugh said...

There has got to be a better way to execute the H.O.R.S.E competition. It just feels to informal and disjointed.

I'll take Durant against the field.

mayhugh said...

And Rajon Rondo close-up looks like a composite of every drug dealer/snitch that was ever on The Wire.

rob said...

any opinions on the wiz/mavs trade?

rob said...

mayhugh's rondo comment is a little nugget of genius

Mark said...

I went to the bar to change Florida's luck. It seems to have changed. I'm staying at the bar.

rob said...

very solid first half for the wrens. up 28-16 at the break. hope they remember the game has 2 halves.

rob said...

jmu/vcu and xavier/florida coming down to the wire

rob said...

larry sanders is playing like a beast

Mark said...

It seems as though I shouldve kept my mouth shut regarding Florida's luck.

zoltan said...

Drew Gooden is the guy who went to Kansas and turned into a fat sack of poop after his big contract, right?

Mark said...

It's amazing to me that someone with his ceiling ended up in the CAA.

rob said...

agreed - though he was/is rail skinny

rob said...

masn just cut away from the last 10 seconds of the jmu/vcu game to show the national anthem at the caps game. neat. jmu's upset could be big for the tribe.

Mark said...

Goodem was never that good. I saw him on Orlando very early in his career. He has no post moves whatsoever and an erratic high post jumper. Plus, he's only about 6'9", not an elite athlete and is known to be friends with a reckless bartender or two. He's a decent rebounder and a hustle guy on a good team. But yes, he was the high lottery pick that went to Kansas.

Mark said...

Gooden. Damn you Steve Jobs.

rob said...

apolo ohno's a little bit sick

Mark said...

Yeah, that move was sick. Not often a bar crowd reacts to a speed skating race.

zoltan said...

Raekwon came out with a new song, "Pioneers." It isn't a cover of the Bloc Party song by the same title. Instead he samples Billy Joel. I can't stand Billy Joel. But Raekwon's track is, predictably I guess, excellent. The Z-Woman was like "Are you really listening to Billy fucking Joel?!? Oh wait, that's ... good."

Mark said...

Cuban Linx II is a very good album. I was really fucking surprised by this. I had given up on the Chef.

zoltan said...

Does anyone else feel uncomfortable when they see a bunch of people holding up signs that say "HEIL"?

zoltan said...

It's hard to give up on any of them because they can always get Meth or GFK to step in on a few tracks. Although I will likely never buy another RZA album after "Birth of a Prince".

rob said...

espn's iphone app is fucking with me again. i think the tribe won, but i can't confirm it.

rob said...

and the game's not over, according to cbssportsline. what the fuck?

zoltan said...

ESPN is busy chugging cock. I think it's in OT 51-51.

zoltan said...

Or Tribe up by 1.

rob said...

they led this game by 16 with 7 minutes left. this would be a terrible fucking loss.

zoltan said...

And who came up with this goofy-ass bumpy-jumpy event?

rob said...

or a great 53-52 win.

rob said...

tribe wins! tribe wins! tribe wins! tribe wins!

/chvotkin

rob said...

tribe win sets up a mammoth game at mason on tuesday. a win in that game makes w&m no worse than tied for 3rd in the conference with tiebreakers over both other teams.

zoltan said...

I can't root against Mason.

Shlara said...

I love All-Star Saturday. I watched 3 hours of practice & random crap on NBATV today.

To be honest, I love All-Star Weekend--all of it.

And I'm especially enjoying the Kobe/LeBron muppet commercials.

Shlara said...

Oh, and about the Wiz/Mavs trade...

Caron isn't doing well in Flip's system--so even though I like him a lot, this is probably a good move. Brenda has been really solid this year, so that's gonna hurt.

I've come to terms with the fact that we'll be awful this year, and prob next. And, I'm hopeful that Ted will get rid of Ernie and let someone else rebuild.

mayhugh said...

In case anyone else has WWE On Demand programming, I wanted to draw your attention to the fact that it is apparently Nikolai Volkoff month - plenty of veiwing material available, including a tag match with the Iron Sheik, who was probably in his mid 50's at the time (which is to say around 1985).

rob said...

uva/va tech tied with 90 seconds left

zoltan said...

That's a JaMarcusian dye-job by Costas' hairdresser.

rob said...

did digger phelps dress in the dark?

Mark said...

About that Wiz-Mavs trade. It's basically a salary dump for the Wiz. If they can void Gil's contract (doubtful) they might be able to position themselves as a player this summer. Either way, they're clearly starting over.

Butler should be a nice fit in Dallas. Kidd will get him 2-3 extra easy buckets a game. He can be the 2nd/3rd guy (depending on how Jason Terry's playing) for Dallas, and in that role he'll be great. Haywood will give them good size and a above average defender of guys like Duncan and Gasol. Even Stevenson helps them by giving them a guy to check/annoy the West's top wings.

rob said...

we need more short track skating on teevee

zoltan said...

Agreed re: short track. How does one get into the sport? Where do kids get into short track speed skating instead of baseball?

Mark said...

The Olympics are underrated, if only because of the late night sports watching whilst drinking opportunities they provide.