The Twelve Days of Gheorghe-mas, Day Ten

On the tenth day of Gheorghe-mas, Big Gheorghe gave to me...

(Way More Than) Ten Highlights
Nine Clips You Tubing
Eight Men A Milking
Seven Balls A-Bouncin' (ngs)
Six Rules Worth Knowing
Five Golden Rings
Four-gone Conclusions
Three Saluki Tallies
Two Recurring Features
And a Doofus Dancing (hee, hee)

For a great many of our fellow Americans, 2009 was a series of groin punches punctuated by the occasional wedgie. I think we’re in general agreement that the sooner we can flush this thoroughly dismal annum down the commode of time, the better. In spite of this general societal gloom, however, Team Gheorghe: The Blog managed to churn out some of the internet’s highest quantity (a record number of posts for this august group) filler, muppet films, and dipshittery. In our own small way, we more than did our part in helping a depressed people smile, if only in pity at our stunted maturity.

Of note, these were some of the stories Gheorghe: The Blog brought you in 2009.

We’ve been on a Wrenpage since 2007, cajoling, pleading, and whining in a futile (or so we thought) effort to convince William & Mary to adopt the Fighting Wren as its mascot. A great many words were spilled this year on behalf of our quixotic quest, and just weeks ago we found out that the Wren had survived to the final round of W&M’s mascot search. This is among the proudest moments of our 6+ years.

Remember, hate makes people stupid.

TR dropped science way back in February, revealing the Top 10 Barrys of all-time.

The first annual Cauc Hop caught the attention of the masses, then lost it. Unlike most of our efforts, this one actually concluded.

Whitney recounted our staff trip to JazzFest 2009. The glow has still not really worn off. Nor have the brain cells regenerated.

In April, a group of W&M students set the world record for largest performance of Thriller. Whitest, least coordinated, most grimace-inducing, as well. Whitney was there to report on it.

Shlara had a banner year, penning a handful of guest posts and brokering one of the most unexpected and ridiculously sublime events in GTB history. She didn’t have such great insight into the NCAA Basketball title game, however.

Dave grew a much better mustache than any of the rest of us.

TR wasn’t the most prolific posters, but when inspiration struck him in 2009, it usually struck him hard. His rant against the creeping threat of the apostrophe was one of the year’s most memorable efforts.

Consecutive posts in August highlighted the breadth of the G:TB oeuvre in letter-perfect fashion. In the first, we interviewed LeBron James and his high school friends. And in the second, Teejay went to the Indiana State Fair, ate over 11 pounds of fried food and lived to tell about it.

John Hughes died, and in his honor, Whitney cast each member of the editorial staff in a Hughes film.

Speaking of Whitney, he really, really hates Mike Love. Just don’t ask him to explain why in a concise fashion.

Dave expanded our horizons, expanded our parameters, expanded the rhymes of sucker MC amateurs. He also gave us what was unquestionably the internet's most bizarrely literary post of the year.

Tribe 26, UVA 14.

Whitney did nothing to dispel his reputation for annoying intellectual elitism.

New staff member (and half of the fabled Z-man and the Teej morning radio show) Zoltan wrote the most words on the Bills in the history of the franchise. Twice.

Mark proved once again that he knows more about college basketball, college football, and the NBA than the rest of the staff combined. (Also, pitbulls and white trash narcotics). He loves these sports, perhaps too much.

Z-man also turned in a phenomenal takedown of Andre Agassi in the wake of the release of the latter’s autobiography.

Dennis came out of the closet.

Rob interrupted our regularly scheduled dipshittery for what might have been the year’s only serious post. It doesn’t happen often.

Whitney found our yearbook photos.

Teejay had to get on an airplane to find us gifts.

Two words: Flying Squirrels!