Saturday, April 04, 2009

Saturday! Saturday, Saturday....


Final Four Saturday is without a doubt one of my top 5 favorite days of the year. I made my sister reschedule her wedding because it was going to conflict with Final Four Saturday (Luckily, she just hadn't realized this and once alerted to i, took no convincing in deciding to pick another wedding date). The entire Final Four, but especially the National Semifinals Saturday, is a great showcase for basketball. And, sometimes you even end up with some really entertaining games on the biggest of stages (If pressed I think I'd say my favorite Semifinal of the last decade or so was the Duke-Maryland semi in 2001).

Sadly, the arrival of the Final Four means college basketball is concluding and the shitbird known as baseball is upon us. (Yaaay! 200 consecutive nights of Baseball Tonight! Shoot me, please.) Each year, when this realization hits me, I do two things. First, I drink heavily and look for guys who look like Buster Olney to sucker punch. After that, I drink some more and reflect (like some kind of gay) upon the tournament that has passed. Evidently, I made some notes whilst doing this and from those notes I have compiled the official list of 2009 G:TB All-NCAA Tournament teams.


All-G:TB Team: This team consists of players whom we here at Gheorghe: The Blog love the most. (I have consulted a committee consisting of myself on all of these choices.)

G: Jonny Flynn (Syracuse)- Probably my favorite player in the country. He takes the ball to the hoop fearlessly and provided great leadership for a very good Syracuse team. If he stays another year he'll end up as a lottery pick.

G: Toney Douglas (FSU)- You know a guy is good if he plays at FSU and I like him. Just an assassin.

G: Eric Maynor (VCU)- The best floater in college basketball comes from probably the craftiest player in college basketball.

F: Chris Johnson (LSU)- The Tigers get more big, long, freaks of nature than any other school...by a wide margin. Must be something in the water in Lousiana. I mean, besides herpes.

F: Blake Griffin (Oklahoma)- The best player in the nation, obviously, but what gets him on this team are his ferocious dunks, non-stop motor (he must get the motor from him Mom...I kid.) and the way he keeps his mouth shut and plays ball.

6th Man: Trevon Hughes (Wisconsin)- He was already on this team, for obvious reasons, but then he went and knocked FSU out of the tournament with a ridiculous and 1 at the end OT. Thanks buddy.



G:TB All-Ugly Team: A collection of guys so ugly that they can never be allowed to all be in the same room at the same time.

G: Austin Johnson (Oklahoma)- It was already pretty bad for young Mr. Johnson but that awful mohawk was the icing on the cake.

G: Greivis Vasquez (Maryland)- You've seen this guy. Do I even have to say anything?

F: Demarre Carroll (Missouri)- It's fun to say somebody looks like the Predator, but even Cheryl Miller is scared of this guy.

F: Kyle Singler (Duke)- He's so pale even TJ and Greg feel bad for this guy. And why doesn't his hair lay down? If I met him on the street I'd be tempted to ask him where his helmet is.

F: Al-Farouq Aminu (Wake Forest)- The runaway MVP of this team. When I see him, I reminded of one of my Grandmother's favorite phrases: "He's so ugly his Mama had to tie a pork chop around his neck just to get the dog to play with him". I miss Grandma.

6th Man: Tyler Hansbrough (UNC)- Hyper. Gay. Muppet.


G:TB All-Old Team: Pretty self-explanatory, guys who look like they're Rob and Whitney's age.

G: Tyshawn Taylor (Kansas)- Making this team is quite an accomplishment for a freshman.

G: Tony Crocker (Oklahoma)- It's time for Tony to give it up and shave his head. And can I get a fucking explanation on the long sleeves? Please?

F: Sam Young (Pitt)- Not only does he look like's in his mid-30s, he also turned 24 in March. Meanwhile, a drunk like me graduated from grad school when I was 25. Nice work, Samuel.

F: Tyler Smith (Tennessee)- You don't run into a lot of guys with facial tattoos in college.

6th Man: Gary Wilkinson (Utah St.)- He's 26. And probably a virgin...



G:TB All-Burr High School Team. Burr went to high school with guys named Carter, Landry and Slater among others (Hi Slats!), and Burr's pretty much an elitist prick, so I imagine his high school like the prep school in School Ties...or maybe Dead Poets Society. Whatever. Anyway, this team is comprised of players who sound like they went to high school with Burr.

G: Garrison Carr (American)
G: Brady Morningstar (Kansas)
G: Connor Mullen (Cornell)
F: Micah Downs (Gonzaga)
F: Bryce Simon (American)
6th Man: DeJuan Blair...No...Just kidding. Can you imagine?

Well, thats it. You've got three more games of college basketball left and about another month before the NBA Playoffs really rev up. Lets hope we get at least one tight game tonight.

77 comments:

rob said...

what did baseball ever do to you, mark?

TJ said...

I'm guessing Mark's reply will be "Two Words: Jim Bowden"

rob said...

that's what i was hoping for

TJ said...

Speaking of horrible people in baseball, how about Allen Iverson pulling a Derek Bell Operation Shutdown?

Mark said...

Totally agree TJ. I've lost a good deal of respect for Iverson through all this.

Sadly, I don't think he realizes that he could add another 5 years to his career by embracing the gunner off the bench role. He could be the missing piece for a team that needed a 3rd scorer by coming off the bench and playing with the second unit guys. I could see him winning a couple 6th man awards and maybe even elevating a team to a championship in this role. It appears though that his ego will not allow for this possibility.

Mark said...

If Iverson can't adjust his game/mentality and understand he's not an elite player anymore (hasn't been in a few years) then he might as well retire.

TJ said...

I have strong dislike for UConn, so I will be pulling for Sparty tonight.

Plus, I'd like to see Ad Hoc Jerry win the pool I'm in.

rob said...

i have the same problem. i plan to shoot my way out of it.

rob said...

they got tha beet.

TJ said...

All games are one degree better when there's a guy wearing a mask.

rob said...

if walton's hurt, it's trouble time for sparty.

rob said...

uconn's led the country in blocks 7 years in a row? that's a little bit crazy. that matches up well with the fact that every one of izzo's 4-year players has made a final 4.

Mark said...

I think Okafor or Thabeet were on UConn's roster for 6 of those 7 years. When you consider how rare players that affect the game the way those two are in college absketball these days, its pretty amazing that Calhoun's gotten both of those guys.

Shlara said...

Lots of green shirts here in Ford Field. Some guy just asked us where Villanova is located.

Mark said...

Way to play to stereotypes, Michigan.

Also, this line from Clark Kellog got me, "He's strong, he's aggressive and...he's not a very good free throw shooter."

TJ said...

Thabeet SMASH!

Mark said...

Sorry, that didn't look clean in real time. Adrien threw a bow and knocked Walton down.

TJ said...

We got tha beet we got tha beet

Mark said...

AJ Price is a top notch collegiate pg but I have real trouble seeing him being succesful in the pros. He's just an average athlete and he doesn't finish well in the lane. He'll probably end up being a backup in the NBA but I would not be the least bit surprised if he ended up spending most of his career in Europe.

Mark said...

Delvon Roe broke out the Kevin McHale starter kit on that last possession.

rob said...

lesson: s'mores and beer are two great tastes that taste dreadful together.

Mark said...

This is a great Final Four for point guards. By my count there are 6 high level collegiate point guards involved in tonight's games. And, Travis Walton and Craig Austrie are pretty solid too.

Mark said...

Quite an interesting contrast of styles in this game.

And Kalin Lucas has really grown on me during this tournament. So smooth and always in control.

TJ said...

Someone flipped the switch on Stanley

rob said...

i really like watching robinson play.

Mark said...

I'm telling you. Ever since I called him the collegiate Tim Thomas in early January he's become an all court monster. I take no credit for this, just pointing out that this transformation in Stanley has been a fairly recent development. And yes, I too enjoy his diversified game.

rob said...

mark's getting paid by the word this evening.

Mark said...

That was a great offensive set that the Spartans just ran. All that was missing was Suton knocking down the 3.

rob said...

ok, we're even on flop charge calls.

Mark said...

And Rob's being paid by the inch. He's hoping to be able to buy himself some new lifts...outlook's doubtful on that though.

Mark said...

UConn's finally missing Jerome Dyson...

Mark said...

That is some serious strength by Summers. Wow.

TJ said...

Shlara's gonna tear up Detroit tonight, Robocop-style

Mark said...

Kellog's right. Michigan State's halfcourt offense is terrific, especially in comparison to the jumbled mess that UConn is "running".

Shlara said...

The MSU fans are out of their minds. It's so loud in here. Cops already making their way down to the court

TJ said...

Oh my, this game is over

Mark said...

Uhh yeah. I did not see this coming.

rob said...

i'll never underestimate an izzo team again. as much as the big 10 was maligned this year, they've got some serious coaching talent - izzo, ryan, matta, carmody, painter, beilein...really good all the way through.

Mark said...

The Spartans are carving UConn up. The Louisville game I kind of expected but this, in my opinion, has been even more impressive because UConn hasn't been dogshit today like Louisville was.

Travis Walton is a FAR better defensive player than I've ever realized or given him credit for.

rob said...

so i just opened the fridge to get a beer and knocked an entire carton of eggs on the floor. eggs are assholes.

TJ said...

Uh oh

Shlara said...

Go NOVA!!

rob said...

too much to ask for nova to win? i sure hope not.

TJ said...

Give me back that filet-o-fish

Give me that fish

rob said...

give me back that filet-o-fish

give me that fish

rob said...

carolina just has so many ways to beat you.

Whitney said...

Kudos to Mark on using Elton John for the post title. Come to think of it, I am seeing a lot of similarities between you two honky cats.

rob said...

fuuuuuuuck

Whitney said...

15 minutes left, Carolina's best 3 players each have 3 fouls, and Nova is firing up bad-looking threes each time down the court. Question to better basketball minds than mine -- wouldn't you adjust your game plan to try to get one or two of these guys to pick up fouls 4 and maybe 5?

Whitney said...

...and by "best 3," I didn't mean to discount Ellington, but Green's having a big game. One more quick foul and he's on the bench for 5+ minutes.

Shlara said...

Is it just me, or are the refs totally biased and not calling any fouls in the paint on UNC?

rob said...

it may be just you - not much is getting called on the interior. ed davis got hammered a few minutes ago with no call. on the other hand, your angle may be better.

Shlara said...

My angle is biased too--so your prob right

rob said...

speedy morris mention!

rob said...

ellington and green, human daggers.

Mark said...

Major League Baseball opening day is here...the biggest dagger of all.

rob said...

hooray, baseball!

rob said...

jordan schaefer homers in his first major league at-bat. that's cool. brett myers, less cool. 3 taters in 1 2/3 innings.

TJ said...

Someone hide Bret Myers' wife...

TJ said...

Steve Phillips is crazy. Driving with one eye is best.

TJ said...

Please, rob, tell me you're hearing this eye talk in the booth?

rob said...

no, sadly. i was comforting a rugrat. do tell.

rob said...

looks like courtney paris is stroking a big check.

TJ said...

Just try to imagine Morgan, Phillips and Miller trying to discuss Francoeur's stance, dominant eyes, Joe's probable dominant right eye cause he swung lefty, Phillips saying you obviously drive better with two eyes...should I continue?

rob said...

dear lord in heaven.

TJ said...

rob, Bubba's gonna be cutting that check.

TJ said...

Myers is having a rougggggh start to the season. Karma, she is a bitch.

rob said...

the pedroia commercial gets me a little bit.

TJ said...

I'm still mesmeriz-

"Give me back that filet of fish..."

rob said...

i've been walking around my house singing that all weekend.

Mark said...

Mmmm...Filet of Fish.

TJ said...

I'll admit it, I flipped by some of that OK game, and I just went by the UConn game as well. There's only so much Braves/Phillies I can take.

rob said...

fact: i have never in my life had a filet o fish. i see very few conceivable scenarios in which that changes.

TJ said...

You are really missing out sir

Mark said...

The Filet of Fish is fantastic. I was exposed due to the ridiculous "no fish on fridays" ruke in Catholicism. Now that I think of it, the Filet of Fish is Catholicism's greatest gift to me.

Geoff said...

For the record, the first names of the starting five on our team in high school were Brett, Jamie, Eddie, Slater and Kevin...channing, Chase, Rothschild and Birch were in the stands. Even on the bench "Geoff" was about as pretentious as it got.

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