Monday, December 14, 2009

The Twelve Days of Gheorghe-mas, Five Golden Rings

On the fifth day of Gheorghe-mas, Big Gheorghe gave to me...


Resident college football and pitbull expert Mark finally took the plunge this year and won his lady's hand in marriage. What he didn't tell her is that the wedding will also serve as the venue for G:TB Summit 2010. I can't wait. Sure, it's my first G:TB Summit. But this isn't your standard fairy tale wedding. It's Mark's wedding. And I'm 99.69% positive it's gonna be like this:



Spaceships don't come equipped with rearview mirrors. Truer words have never been said.

Congrats Mark.

68 comments:

Mark said...

That's probably pretty close. I'm just trying to figure out which rappers from the beginning of the video equate to which G:TB staff members...

zoltan said...

In theory I'd like to be Pimp C but he's dead, so maybe T-Pain. TJ is clearly Fonzworth Bentley.

TJ said...

Wocka Wocka

Marlin said...

Fonzworth Bently sounds like a name that would come out of a name generator. Take a shortened name/nickname, add a WASP-ish ending for the first name and then use a luxury product for the last name.

Teejworth Cristal
Z-Manerford Escalade
Whitchester Benz
Rezington Courvoisier

zoltan said...

Tootenbothem Massengill?

Marlin said...

That would be S. Page Toothenbothem VAgicil.

zoltan said...

Nice job by you Marlin. Nice job by you.

Whitney said...

I prefer Whitfield Perignon.

And don't forget my friend Squirrelham Armani.

Mark said...

Markwith P. Remington?

Marlin said...

I like Markwood Gulfstream.

Mark said...

Yep, that works. Marlin's good at this.

Dave said...

Davely Lipton Tea-Bag

Dave said...

Whitford Bleucheese

Zoltington Prada

I wish someone would have told me about this method before I named my children!

Geoff said...

G. Grantland Burberry...almost works too well. Maybe Dinglebury would be better.

zoltan said...

D.C. Geofferson Blackberry.

TR said...

Timmeford Rez Van Heusen.

Fine name. Fine brand of affordable dress clothes for.

TJ said...

Robforth Russington Heuer

rob said...

robhinho calphalon

zoltan said...

Whitbread Huyghe

Dan said...

Danson A. Piguet

rob said...

squirrelington van de camp

zoltan said...

Zoltart van DeLay. I'm in the import/export business.

TR said...

Dick Rambone.

What are the rules for this game?

Marlin said...

Lackey taking a physical with the Red Stockings. Early Boxing Day present for Squirrelham Armani?

TJ said...

Chase Blackburn?

Oh wait...

TR said...

How can you include Chase Blackburn but leave out Madison Hedgecock?

rob said...

for those interested in conference administrative geekery, check out mgl today for a look at caa commissioner tom yeager's not-so-veiled threat to move the conference hoops tournament out of the dismal richmond coliseum. only good thing about it is the relatively central location for team gtb. the facility is among the dumpiest dumps in its class.

zoltan said...

CAA in MSG?

rob said...

i'd settle for verizon center, but msg would be fun

TJ said...

We like Peeps:
http://bit.ly/5rerNp

Mark said...

TJ's Dick Rambone comment completely laid the comedy rhombus to waste. i hope you're proud of yourself Doofus.

TJ said...

Yeah, I'd sure be mad at me too...if it wasn't TR who made that comment. He needs to go back to Rhymenocerous.

Mark said...

Well, he couldn't spell Rhymenocerous so that was problematic.

Greg said...

Legregford Nautica

rob said...

rhymewood callaway

TR said...

AP Top 25 has W&M getting one vote, putting them in a tie with the mighty Army Cadets for 54th place. ESPN/USA Today poll has us in a 5-way tie for 40th place.

We're behind Wake in both polls. Bullschtein.

Mark said...

Greg...we're not doing black names.

TJ said...

Apparently, we are an internet resource for people who want to fuck a shoe...

"how to fuck a shoe"

Mark said...

Markport Stetson.

Mark said...

Wait, that sounds like some kind of gay cowboy...

Mark said...

I say...fuck shoes.

rob said...

rhymo, we had two votes last week. who the fuck dropped us because we didn't play? i want names. i want answers!

rob said...

rhymington toblerone

TJ said...

Thurston Justice Magli

TR said...

I appreciate your fury, Rob. May I suggest you send a vile piece of hate mail to Austin Meek at the Topeka Capital Journal?

I dug that name off the interweb and I have no idea if he even has a vote, but you should start with him. F Topeka.

rob said...

done and done

Greg said...

Sir Reptitious?

rob said...

espn says halladay to the phils, cliff lee to the mariners in a three-way trade.

TJ said...

Um, and the Mariners give up who exactly in this menage?

rob said...

yes, well, our good friends in bristol couldn't be bothered to include that trifling detail. stand by.

Mark said...

What exactly are the Mariners trying to do? Are they actually interested in winning or are they just going to grab 2-3 "name" guys every 5 years just to keep their fans from completely giving up (which also ends up screwing up the team's payroll and keeps them mired in mediocrity)?

rob said...

toronto gets..."prospects".

and mark, lee's a relatively young (31), relatively cost-controlled stud (due to make $8m in 2010).

chone figgins, on the other hand.

TR said...

Speaking of three-ways, any good Tiger news today?

Mark said...

I'm not of the opinion that 31 is as young as we thought it was (baseball wise) now that we're not smack dab in the middle of the steroid era, but point taken.

Lee also feels like a guy who'll be trade bait by July again, through little fault of his own.

zoltan said...

Marco Scutaro, Boof Bonser, AND John Lackey!?! Heckuvan off-season performance by Theo. And by "heckuvan," I'm referring to Teaneck High School football coach Dennis Heck, the Jamarcus Russell of NNJIL Pacific football coaches.

Dan said...

no new mistress' have come forth today - that's pretty good news for tiger. you gotta start somewhere.
i still think he's clean. he didn't have affairs with any of these women.

rob said...

the nnjil has a 'pacific' division? that's jamarcusian geographical awareness.

zoltan said...

The NNJIL apparently realigned since I graduated from high school, but it had Pacific division when I was a lad. Which perhaps explains my complete and total lack of geographical awareness. I'm atrociously and inexcusably inept at geography.

rob said...

was the other half of the nnjil known as the 'warlike' division? that may explain it.

zoltan said...

It was, predictably, the NNJIL Atlantic division.

Marlin said...

The NNJIL Smythe division was the best, none of that boring defensive crap they played in the Norris division.

Mark said...

We don't get much (if any) fog where I live. Today, however, has been decidely different. A heavy fog rolled in off the ocean at about 4 pm. By the time I left work, I couldn't see the water underneath me as I drove over the bridge to my home. It's now far worse. I'm talking Eagles-Bears Playoff game level bad here. Streetlights are useless. Most people are driving with their brights on (well done, Florida Drovers). I can't even see the house that's two doors down from me on either side.

Can somebody tell me what the fuck is going on? I feel like I'm in an M. Night Shamylan movie.

rob said...

my anger at the pollsters may have been misplaced. the tribe got 9 votes in the espn/usa today poll, which may have been the one i saw last week. i owe that dude in topeka an apology.

but the tribe got 9 freaking votes in the espn/usa today poll. you'll forgive my lack of equilibrium.

TJ said...

(Tiger's) Lady in the Water?

Mark said...

Don't you dare apologize to anyone in Topeka. That guy had it coming, I'm sure.

TJ said...

Kurt Warner channeling Jay Cutler tonight.

And that new Arnold Palmer SportsCenter ad is fantastic.

Shlara said...

NINE VOTES!
This is so exciting...

Geoff said...

Mark, untowel and open the door...the fog will dissipate.