Friday, February 27, 2009

The Issues of Our Times

From the desk of William & Mary President Taylor Reveley:

Dear William & Mary Community,

We have the Tribe to unite us, but no mascot at the moment. Let’s find one and have fun while we search!

Terry Driscoll, director of athletics, will chair a committee charged with seeking and reviewing mascot ideas from William & Mary alumni, students, faculty, and staff. Committee members have set up a website where they’ll take suggestions and report on their progress.

Do visit
www.wm.edu/mascot to submit your mascot ideas and see how the search is going.

It will be great if the mascot is ready to roll at some point next fall, perhaps by Homecoming.

Taylor Reveley

Dear President Reveley:

We appreciate the critical and diverse nature of the challenges facing The College in a time of fiscal crisis and deep uncertainty. It is precisely our understanding of these issues that gives us cause to celebrate your priorities. Truly, only a man with a deeply Gheorgian sense of the value of the inane and silly would be compelled to move forward on something of this micromagnitude. And for that, sir, we humbly salute you.

Oh, and we've got some ideas. One idea, really, and a caution.

As you well know, we've been at the forefront of the Draft the Wrens movement for some time now. (Liberties taken with the terms, 'draft' and 'movement'. Also 'the'.) The wren has both obvious geocultural relevance and a noted poet-warrior spirit. W&M could do worse. And, frankly, we fear that it will. GTB's own sociological expert, TR (nee Rhymenocerous) implores you to avoid the obvious trap, noting "The mascot is going to end up being an unattractive lesbian who hangs out in the smoking section of Swem Library."

We know you're a busy man, so we'll waste no more of your time. We conclude by once again saluting your wisdom and offering our wholehearted support. Unless you want us to actually do something, in which case, good luck with buying remaindered Gunston costumes from George Mason.

Hark upon the Gale,

The Gheorghe: The Blog Editorial Staff
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Important and related addendum:
The Fighting Wrens close out what can only be described as a disappointing 2008-09 campaign tomorrow evening, hosting Drexel in Williamsburg. W&M is 9-19, 4-13 in conference play, and has sewn up the 11th seed in next week's CAA tournament. FOGTB Michael Litos is projecting a first-round matchup against Hofstra, a matchup the bodes extremely poorly for the good guys. Guessing now, but we really need JMU to win and Hofstra to lose (at home, against woeful UNCW) to have a shot at the Dukes next Friday. On the bright side, W&M took off like a very slow, white bat out of hell last season when we started calling them the Wrens, so look for fortunes to reverse immediately.

52 comments:

TR said...

Early on in my freshman year, I spotted an ad for people who wanted to be the school mascot. I got excited, called the number and set up a meeting at W&M Hall.

It turned out to be a ruse. They were using the mascot ad as a front to recruite male cheerleaders. Bummer.

TJ said...

And if there's one thing TR won't stand for, it's cunning attempts to trick him.

zoltan said...

If you want to name the mascot after a building, how about Blow Hall? The William & Mary Blows?

rob said...

zoltan, that's inspired.

zoltan said...

Parenthetically, it took TR about a week and a half before he realized he was a male cheerleader, not the mascot.

TR said...

When I went to the "mascot meeting," it happened to conveniently coincide with a cheerleader practice. I was out of there as soon as I saw that cheeseball Filipino Sigma Pi cheerleader guy with the flat-top, despite being rushed by the cheerleading coach.

If there had been some SEC-level female talent, I may have reconsidered.

It reminds me of the motto Sam and Marlin had about the Tribal Dancers: "At least they have big tits." Fitting.

TJ said...

Hey, ladies, wanna see my spirit stick?

Dennis said...

Back from work trip to Melbourne, FLA (for those who knew I was gone); and a little anecdote from a golf outing I sneaked in at the tail end that would have surely offended anyone involved - least of all the fine ladies pictured herein.

At first tee I meet my playing partner for the round. He's a 300 pound man wearing jean shorts, tivas and white socks to his mid-calf area. He introduces himself and asks where I'm from. I tell him I'm from D.C. and just down on business. He then says to me in an accent the rapist from Deliverance would have scoffed at, "Nuthin but blacks and queers up there, huh?"

The mid-round chatter only got worse from there...

Marlin said...

It was actually, "They can't dance, but they got big juggs." That was about the time they were consideing a move to the nickname "Big Green". The W&M Big Green Dancers. That would have been fitting.

rob said...

fred taylor drinks from the nfl's version of the fountain of youth, signing with new england. i like it.

Marlin said...

According to the mascot blog Rob linked, the team school is keeping the nickname Tribe, but wants a mascot that will not run afoul of the NCAA's native american sensitivities. How is that going to work?? Short of having a guy in a very Semitic looking costume, I fail to see how we don't end up with another green blob like Col. Ebirt.

Jordan Spector for mascot.

rob said...

q-tip for mascot.

rob said...

or seth godin

TR said...

or Qbert.

Mark said...

Dennis...you know I live about 5 miles from Melbourne, right? (I'm over the causeway on A1A).

What course did you play? Did you have a meeting with Harris or Grumman or something? Give me a heads up next time and I'll take you out, or at least tell you the best courses to play 'round here.

Also, I'd like to say your partner was not indicative of Melbourne, FL but, sadly, I'd be wrong. I've said it before, but the difference in the people once you get 5-10 miles inland around the coastal areas of Florida is staggering.

zoltan said...

Perhaps we should have multiple mascots representing different tribes - Aleutian, Sioux, Cherokee, Israeli, Indigenous Australian, Maasai, Pygmy, Zulu, etc.

If W&M became the Blows, the mascot could be one of those STD muppets from Chappelle's Show.

rob said...

i think the gtb community would welcome a longer-form treatment of tr's 'i was a teenage college cheerleader' story.

Jerry said...

For the mascot, I'd leverage the colonial element and use a blacksmith. They're rugged, intimidating, and are generally considered pretty cool. Plus, it would set us up for a strong, unique nickname if we ever lose the Tribe.

Mark said...

As long as he has one of those huge, creepy faces like the Purdue Boilermaker.

Jerry said...

Yeah, plus comically big forearms. Walk around with some kind of a hammer. Maybe a beard.

zoltan said...

I would prefer a solo mustache to a full beard. But what do I know.

Mark said...

A beard sans mustache...Lincoln style.

Dave said...

how about the william and mary coopers? then the mascot could be a bungole.

Dave said...

i meant bung-hole.

rob said...

kellen winslow now wears the pewter and whatever that other color is in the bucs uniform. we know he's a warrior. now he's also a buccaneer. later, a scoundrel.

TJ said...

Well, if Kellen didn't like the QBs throwing to him in Cleveland he sure as hell isn't going to like the band of misfits in Tampa.

zoltan said...

How many teams in the league have a QB that would make a free agent receiver say "I want to play with that guy"? Not too many.

TJ said...

Off the top of my head, I'd say nikki six...

Mark said...

There aren't many teams where Kellen Winslow wouldn't be the douchiest TE but that's the case in Tampa. Jerramy Stevens makes Kellen look like Kurt Warner.

Jerry said...

Also, if we change our name to The Blacksmiths, we can call W&M Hall "The Forge".

TR said...

"The Blacksmiths" is racist.

TJ said...

Antonio Bryant has gone from absolute bust to making 10 mil next year on the Bucs.

Kudos to you Antonio.

TJ said...

Manny rejected yet another Dodger offer?

Honestly, fuck him and Scott Boras. I hope he ends up in Japan.

TJ said...

Tiny, your boy Barry apparently has a Derrick Rose jones and will be at Wiz/Cavs tonight...

TJ said...

Um, Wiz/Bulls...my bad.

Jerry said...

Especially if we had a guy named Smith on our team.

Mark said...

The issue with Bryant wasn't really talent. He just an enormous jackass. He's toned it down to just jackass now and that new contract is the result.

TJ said...

There's quite a few folks here at work that could make that step down in jackassery.

TJ said...

Hate to sound like Tim Cowlishaw here (uh, my regrets for the Around the Horn reference), but are the Rockets better without Tracy McGrady?

rob said...

as long as shane battier is there fighting the forces of evil, the rockets will be fine.

TJ said...

Battier's not Snkae Eyes, is he?

TJ said...

Or the slightly less deslyxic Snake Eyes.

TJ said...

Rhymo, I am very happy with the Bart Scott signing, despite the silly money...NFL money is like LIFE money.

TJ said...

Can someone please explain to me the Greg Anderson/Barry Bonds relationship?

It just doesn't make sense, no matter what you tell me Bonds is paying him.

Shlara said...

Wizards win and POTUS in the VIP seats--all around good night at Verizon Center!

TJ said...

Cleveland St/Butler and Gtown/Nova are really bringing it

Greg said...

yeah.

TR said...

Teej:

I'm not sure how much guaranteed $$ Scott is getting (mid 20 MM?), but I like him as a massive upgrade from Barton. I also like that they got Brandon Moore and Tony Richardson back in the fold. And the Lito Sheppard trade was great, considering how little they gave up. They had some dog-shit guys out there at CB last year.

Mock drafts have the Jets taking Harvin or Sanchez at 17. I'd love them to get Harvin or another WR and let Clemens or Ratliff fight for the starter's job, with a veteran scrub in the mix as insurance.

TJ said...

Jim Bowden, Nationals GM no more...

Happy Sunday Everyone

Mark said...

I guarantee that its now a happier Sunday for the people stuck at work at the Nationals' Spring Training complex down the road in Viera.

rob said...

fighting wrens surprised drexel last night to claim the 10 seed in the caa tourney. first round matchup against jmu is at 6:00 on friday. i, as noted previously, have completely fucked up my schedule and will not be able to make it. should they win friday (jmu swept the wrens during the regular season) they'd play mason at 6 on saturday. i will attend that one.

the power of the wren appellation grows.

TJ said...

So, Buster, what do you really think of the job he did?

Whomever replaces Jim Bowden as Nationals general manager can't do a worse job, Buster Olney writes.