Friday, December 11, 2009

Are You Ready For Some Cold, Cold Football?

Our beloved Tribe take on some lame Catholics from Villanova tonight in Villanova at a dumpy Villanova Stadium smack in the middle of their pasty campus.

I got nothings. Somebody bring this baby home.

--------------------------------------------------------
Looks like TR fell over, Foster's oilcan in hand, on the train ride home. We've got your back, big fella. In this the 374th post of 2009, we celebrate both Whitney's epic recap of the Cauc Hop's final round and William & Mary's quest for Chattanooga. And in true G:TB spirit, we do both things half-assed and hurried.

It's supposed to be 27 degrees on the field at kickoff. Fact: Jimmye Laycock's never lost a game played in December at night on a Friday in Philadelphia in sub-30-degree temperatures. I like our chances. Additional fact: the entire G:TB staff will be ensconced in our slippers, cozied up in front of our fireplaces while our friends suffer in the City of Brotherly Love. These friends are better people than we, though not smarter. It is for their sake, Jimmye, that we beseech you and your boys to run as fast as the wind.

See you all in the comments at 8:00. And Godspeed, TR. May you awake before the train reaches Ronkonkoma. (Note: train may not be headed anywhere near Ronkonkoma. I just enjoy typing and saying Ronkonkoma.)

238 comments:

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Geoff said...

Roll tribe. I'm fired up.

zoltan said...

I don't have a fireplace and I don't plan on staying home tonight, but I agree with the overall tone and spirit of this post. Except that I expect Nova to shellack the (Fighting) Wrens.

Dan said...

erin mcguire looking to join in on some gheorghe action tonight...talk at ya game time.

Geoff said...

I wish I disagreed with Zoltan, but I'm expecting a woodshedding as well. I'll say 41-24 Villanofun.

Whitney said...

Rob, you got a score prediction for us?

Whitney said...

Geoff, no way does 'nova put 41 on us. Well, turnovers would have to be a-plenty, and let's hope that doesn't happen.

I'll say Tribe 21, Villanova 20 in a showdown for the ages.

Geoff said...

They hung 28 on us in the first meeting so 41 didn't seem completely improbable. Obviously I'm hoping for better...and trying to best utilize my reverse jinx/poor prognostication skills.

Whitney said...

I like the thought. I just think our D is really clicking of late. Of course, it's freezing, and any CAA opponent -- much less the best one -- is a whole lot different than a very good out-of-conference opponent. I just hope you were way off.

Geoff said...

Tiger to take "indefinite leave of absence"? I'll take that to mean "See you all at Augusta."

rob said...

tribe 24, nova 19

Shlara said...

I'm nervous.

mayhugh said...

16-13 Tribe. I like getting the ball in the second half.

TR said...

3,000 people there? Sounds like mostly Tribe fans.

rob said...

i see lots of 'whitney sucks' or 'kill whitney' comments forthcoming

mayhugh said...

Tribe defense - still a swarm. Just get a handle on that QB option keeper, boys.

Shlara said...

Nice tribe D. Look at all of the W&M fans!

rob said...

seth davis gives still more tribe love in this week's sports illy. flabbergasting.

mayhugh said...

This NOVA defense seems a little gimicky. I like the run game's chances once the O-line gets a handle on it.

rob said...

no passes in the first 5 plays? staunch defense? who the hell are these guys in white?

TR said...

Nice ground and pound action with the running game early.

I wish Archer was less of a tough guy and wore sleeves. Keep that arm warm, dude.

Geoff said...

The Enterprise commercial being the first ad is a positive sign according to me...a harbinger if you will.

rob said...

i bet the enterprise dude got himself a harbinger.

and nice stop, boys.

mayhugh said...

Tribe should try a couple of short slants across the middle. Something is open in there. Maybe shake up their blitz a little.

rob said...

some fairly unimaginative stuff for jimmye thus far

mayhugh said...

Hopefully this Whitney kid doesn't change his cleats

rob said...

whitney's a dope

rob said...

hold the damn ball, young man

TR said...

Anybody else sleep-training their baby tonight using the "cry it out" method (also known as dad chugging red wine method)? The wife and the eldest escaped, leaving me, my home, a lot of sports on TV and hours and hours of shrieking child.

rob said...

ahl, tr.

is jimmye going brian billick on us? reformed offensive genius embraces the dark side, wins with defense and ball control.

rob said...

uh oh, somebody calm shlara down. jay wright's coming on the telecast.

Geoff said...

I've got two infants next to me on the couch and I'm drinking red wine. They're quiet now...but it won't last. Neither will the wine...so I'll be switching to scotch in the second half.

mayhugh said...

Jay Wright - that guy seems okay.

Shlara said...

Jay is hot. Even you guys can agree with that.

rob said...

villanova's punter is kicking our ass

mayhugh said...

Somebody rough the punter.

rob said...

but yes, jay is dreamy

Geoff said...

Yeah, I wouldn't kick Jay out of bed for eating crackers...as long as he shares.

We should think about "catching" some of those punts.

TR said...

Wright seems to have enormous hands. Probably a good harbinger for you, Shlara.

rob said...

reallly don't like this sequence of plays

TR said...

One bit of solace we can take so far is that the biggest mismatch so far in the game seems to be our D-line dominating their O-line.

HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT

mayhugh said...

HELL YEAH

Geoff said...

Booyah.

rob said...

now i do

TR said...

Watching that replay, the CB looks absolutely clueless, swatting and leaping when he was nowhere near the ball. Good to see another I-AA's school defensive backs aborting for a change.

rob said...

reallly like how jimmye feigned incompetence to set that up. brilliant.

mayhugh said...

That was a bit of a genius play call. On their own 2, had attempted no pass over like 8 yards prior to taking the shot.

rob said...

our kicking game, redskinesque

Geoff said...

Are you all Damon or Brock Huards guys?

TR said...

Why is this game going so slowly? We're 5 minutes into the 2nd qtr after 69 minutes. I don't get it.

mayhugh said...

Wow, we're not inside the 5 to start the drive. It's an embarrassment of riches.

TJ said...

Jay Wright is the junior calipari of college hoops...shlara can piss and moan her way to an orgasm over this profound accusation

TJ said...

Brock and Damon Huatd are the Voltaggio brothers of late 2009 Bravo TV

rob said...

whoa, big fella

Geoff said...

TJ, if you work "blue" you'll never play the big rooms. That's what killed Redd Foxx's career.

TR said...

Huge personal foul.

rob said...

thanks again, dempsey, you fuckstick

TJ said...

Geoffrey went all google map at lunch. It's 420 miles (settle down hughes) to get to Boone, NC

Just in case we make it there

Road trip bitches?

TR said...

Worst. Camera set-up. Ever.

rob said...

is it boone or chattanooga?

Geoff said...

And then later when I sobered up I realized the game would be in Chattanooga.

TR said...

Finals are in Chattanooga, TN, Mr. Teej.

rob said...

ah, fuck. that's huge.

TR said...

Revenge o' the fuckstick.

rob said...

whitney throws like a girl

Geoff said...

Tribe D continues to come up as huge as Jay Wright's sensuous fingers.

TR said...

We are dominating time of possession. We'll end the half with over 19 minutes on offense. Will be good to start the second half with the ball.

TR said...

65 seconds left, 1st down on our 30, full set of TOs. I'd like to see some attempt here.

TJ said...

Hepatitis B killed Rick Fox's career.

That and NY Undercover.

rob said...

the fuck?

rob said...

anyone checked to make sure tim finchem's okay?

TR said...

Roark-esque injury to the TE...meaning he'll get up and sprint off the field any second now.

Geoff said...

For my first 2 years in the burg I thought our coach was named "Jimmy Lakehawk.". I was quite surprised when I realized my mistake...except for the part about the superfluous "e".

mayhugh said...

Quick slant guys. You've been working the outside. Take a shot

rob said...

the ncaa made him change that indian-looking name

mayhugh said...

Stick this, Pate.

TJ said...

Hepatitis B killed Rick Fox's career.

That and NY Undercover.

mayhugh said...

Awesome.

rob said...

gigantic kick

Geoff said...

Onions!

mayhugh said...

TJ two times.

TJ said...

Redskins. Draft the injun bradford

My work I'd done

rob said...

i hope greg is filming teejay this evening

Geoff said...

We might wanna send someone to check on TJ. If the door has been toweled, don't let that stop you.

rob said...

robert smith sounds so articulate while making this asinine argument

TR said...

10 minutes into shrieking baby. And I'm out of wine, beer and scotch. Poor booze cabinet stocking. It's on to vodka and club soda or screwdrivers.

TJ said...

I'd tell Geoff to fuck off, but I don't want to disturb the wife and kiddies...

Look, no spelling errors.

Mark said...

We really should have some webcams going in the homes of TR and TJ.

Anybody notice #5 on Nova (I assume he's the backup QB)? He's a giant. He brings to mind former Gator/laptop stealer Cam Newton.

TJ said...

TR, unlike you and Burrberry, I have no excuse of childrens...but I found solace in woodchuck cider...

TJ said...

Hi Mark

You tattoed fag

rob said...

you know what the worst part about drinking hard cider is?

telling your parents you're gay.

mayhugh said...

Brian Kelly looks really weird in a suit.

TJ said...

The spin doctor robert smith knows as much about football as my producer the marls knows about three way tantric sex

TJ said...

Haha, the fucking midget guy made a joke

So cute

Geoff said...

TJ, no one likes an angry drunk...trust me, I've tried it. On the other hand, a smug, aloof drunk is a real crowd favorite.

TJ said...

Toby gayheart needs to send touchdown tommy vardell some love

TJ said...

Perhaps a taller than average smug trivia-loving drunk is the right rt?

TJ said...

Everyone hang in...Mayhugh wants to tell us Double Impact is on at 5:46am tomorrow...

TR said...

Mmmmm...Belvedere and Tropicana (no pulp).

Seriously, why is it still halftime? It's 9:45 and there have been very few TV timeouts and 2 scores. How is this a 3:30+ game?

TJ said...

Stope being old you candle-stick wielding m'fer...

TJ said...

Did Uecker keep Belvedere from doing his law and order suv-ing?

rob said...

germans? forget it, he's rolling.

Mark said...

Yeah, stope it.

TJ said...

Um....look at those halftime stats...we should be up 20...that's gonna come back to haunt us.

TR said...

My high school kicker could've started for either team. Maybe that's because he went on to be the punter at Hofstra, but you get my point.

rob said...

wow, varmo's one immobile kid

mayhugh said...

I would have liked a better drive to start the half.

rob said...

agree with both teej and mayhugh - we should be up more than 10. more points, please.

TJ said...

if she went to Jared, is that better than going to Zales?

Shlara said...

I'm at a festivus party. I've comandeered the TV, complained that its not HD and refuse to talk to anyone until the game is over. People are alreadt airing their grievances about me.

TR said...

Speaking of Jared, Jared the Subway guy does a lot of coke and is not afraid to ask people to do it with him. I have that directly from a friend. Maybe Jared is more Tigery than we think.

TJ said...

Luv the Shlar

TJ said...

You have one

F'ing

Job

rob said...

ah, crap

TJ said...

Pizza pizza

rob said...

special teams caused that. killing us.

rob said...

fuck, grimes

TJ said...

"Not so fresh feeling" catches a lot of key passes.

TR said...

Not sure if anybody here cares, but UVA beat Wake in the NCAA soccer semis tonight. They play the Akron-UNC winner on Sunday. That game is in OT now.

UVA's head coach is George Gelnovatch, who went to my high school and used to live 2 houses away from me. He's the most famous alumnus from my high school who didn't get famous for being a whore (looking at you, Ashley Dupre).

rob said...

jimmye, onions

Mark said...

Wow, big play.

TR said...

I like the idea to go for it here.

TR said...

Somebody tell Archer to stop throwing at guys' ankles. His receivers are really making his stats look good by catching everything. Pretty impressive in 20 degree weather.

TJ said...

Archer - caucasian for McNabb

TR said...

Baby cried itself to sleep at 10:10. Tribe winning in the 3rd. Screwdrivers going down smooth. Life is good for the moment.

rob said...

jesus, squib the fucking thing

TJ said...

TR, is Ashely Dupree the Spitzer girl?

Mark said...

I'd like to see a replay of that run.

rob said...

special olympics teams

TR said...

I hate that little white guy.

When did Laycocke start morphing into Hunter S. Thompson?

Whitney said...

Worst special teams in I-AA. Same story all year. We need a stope here.

TJ said...

Was our DC bummed by having to deal with Chainsaw during the summer session?

TR said...

Ashley is the Spitzer girl. Her mom is a jawdropping cougar, although she's probably approaching 50 by now.

Whitney said...

Fake punt is always in play when you give them the ball at or near midfield the whole game. Need a play here.

TJ said...

I work in an industry of cougars...I've got to tell you, they really are an impressive dem(oh)graphic.

rob said...

who wants to make a play here?

mayhugh said...

I don't like how this half is setting up.

TJ said...

I do not like this momentum shift

TR said...

Nova has a running back from Los Angeles?

Geoff said...

FCS: Where white wide receivers happen.

rob said...

sean lissimore, for one

mayhugh said...

I think he caught it.

rob said...

that's a catch

TJ said...

Thank god the line judge from blue man group loves the cheese shop

mayhugh said...

Ball was moving a little. I don't think they'll reverse it

TR said...

Holy cow that's a close play with the right foot.

Can we decide once and for all between irrefutable and indisputable proof? Announcers are all over the map with this.

mayhugh said...

A little help, zebras.

Whitney said...

Need the refs to come through for us yet again.

mayhugh said...

fiddlesticks

mayhugh said...

nice play 3-2

mayhugh said...

I'll take nova running up the middle from here on, if they want.

mayhugh said...

strike that

TR said...

Do we need to review EVERY fucking play? That play wasn't close to being a TD. Instant replay is castrating the officiating crew from acting decisively.

rob said...

gut check, tribe

TR said...

Nova has to go for it here.

TR said...

Very. Easy.

Whitney said...

Dammit. Okay. A long, sustained drive for points here.

Remember, the Cauc Hop wasn't over til the very end.

TJ said...

Fuck.

rob said...

both touchdowns traced back to poor special teams plays

Geoff said...

This feels like a Redskins game.

TJ said...

I really hate this cider crap...do I tom hanks it to vanilla extract? Or just crack a nice napa red and piss wifey off?

TR said...

We need to better than 2.8 yards per run on this drive.

TR said...

So much for the run. We're setting ourselves up for a nice 5 yard completion on 3rd and 10.

rob said...

not much of a response

mayhugh said...

tribe has come unglued

TR said...

Nova dials up the blitz on all the 3rd down plays. Where is the slant that Mr. Mayhugh has requested?

TJ said...

Do we have a Shalcross to save us?

Geoff said...

The next three plays will decide this game...momentum needs to change.

Whitney said...

This feels like the Richmond game. For those that missed it, the last 10 minutes of it felt like a badger in your sweatpants.

TJ said...

Tiger does not play real golf til Feb, right?

Fuck, that dude caught that...

rob said...

unfuckingreal

Geoff said...

Devastating.

rob said...

this feels, in the parlance of mlc, like a winnable loss

Geoff said...

Tiger comes back the last week in March to prep for Augusta. What a sacrifice...

Geoff said...

I thought they shot Barbaro.

rob said...

kill whitney

TJ said...

This is the play of the game

Mark said...

You assholes nervous?

TJ said...

Game on bitches...from villa-no-fun

Whitney said...

Fuck you, Whitney.

Geoff said...

Christina Auguliera looks like the girl Muppet in Animal's band. When did that happen?

Mark said...

So open.

rob said...

wide fucking open

mayhugh said...

This play-calling is for the birds.

TR said...

Aguilera is gross without her makeup artist around to doll her up. My cameraman buddy shot her and said so.

The ugliest people he's ever shot who aren't known to be ugly are Lil' Kim and Stevie Nicks. Both are waaay gross and need 2+ hours in the make-up chair to look non-gross.

TJ said...

Seriously?

TR said...

Why are we perpetually surprised by the 3rd down blitzes? Can Bob Shoop get his finger out of his nose and get a back to block for his QB?

Geoff said...

Fucked. I swear if I rooted for tomorrow to be Saturday it wouldn't happen.

Whitney said...

Worst special teams in I-AA. Did anyone think I was exaggerating? Now you know.

rob said...

i believe shoop is the dc, but i take your point

TR said...

Lil Kim, Aguilera or Nicks? What's surprising to you?

By "ugly" I mean Aguilera is very very ordinary.

Whitney said...

Where's Brutus when we need him?

Mark said...

Geoff, ahl.

This thing isn't over just yet.

Whitney said...

Villanova hasn't turned the ball over the entire night, have they?

TR said...

Good point on Shoop, Rob. That's why you're the boss.

Angelo Babbaro. No relation to Vinnie Barbarino, Barbaro the horse or Babbar the elephant.

TR said...

I have a bet for a $40 lunch o this game. If Nova wins by 4, I'm screwed.

At what point does the Tribe let Nova score to get the ball back?

Geoff said...

Odds say you go here.

TJ said...

This point

TR said...

We need to let them score on the next play.

TJ said...

God dammit cock sucker mother fucker

rob said...

fucking whitney

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