John Hughes R.I.P.

Somewhere in southwestern US, John Hughes' body has been tied to a chair and is riding down the highway on the roof of a station wagon . . .

The writers at Gheorghe: The Blog have assembled to pay tribute to dearly departed director/producer/writer John Hughes with a post about . . . the writers at Gheorghe: The Blog. (That's what we do.) In an doubled-edged effort to salute one of the finest moviemakers of our formative years, we're going to grant you readers a touch of insight into who we are. We present to you, straight from our home office in Shermer, Illinois:

The List of Gheorghe Contributors as John Hughes Movie Characters

Enjoy.

As an hors d'oeuvre, we're going to throw out there a nice pair: our steady female commentors, KQ and Shlara. There was much debate over whether they were Weird Science's Deb & Hilly or Samantha Baker and her fairly hot friend she rode the school bus with; the last minute winner, however, was depicting our two lady-friends as The Princess and The Basket Case. And it was pretty obvious to us which was which.

Perfect Quotes:
"Do you know how popular I am? I am so popular. Everybody loves me so much at this school"

and

"I've done just about everything there is except a few things that are illegal. I'm a nymphomaniac."

Rob

When conducting this exercise, we first asked folks which character they saw for themselves, and just like 15 years ago when Rob picked Michael J. Fox to portray him in the movie version of our lives when we all knew Gary Burghoff would get the nod, he aimed high. After inducing a chuckle with a pretty good wisecrack ("I kinda have to be Jake Ryan, right?"), he amused us with more serious suggestions as well: the guy everybody wanted to be -- Ferris Bueller -- and Eric Stoltz's Keith Nelson character in Some Kind of Wonderful, attributable to Rob's unhealthy sexual obsession with Lea Thompson that has lasted beyond all statutes of limitations. He did provide more self-deprecating offerings in the form of AMH roles -- Gary Wallace and Brian Johnson, but the rest of us already had someone else in mind. It came down to his diminutive stature, his likable qualities (also diminutive, said one entrant), his quick-witted sarcasm, and his "pining for the wrong girl in high school," as one person put it...
He's Duckie.

Perfect Quote:

"His name is Blane? Oh! That's a major appliance, that's not a name!"(making fun of less-than-masculine names to take the attention off the real issues, of course)

Mark
Just because most of us have never been in the same barroom (or any room, for that matter) as Mark doesn't preclude us from labeling him with a Hughes character. Far from it. We had lots of suggestions, from "BOTH robbers from Home Alone" (presumably Pesci's height and Stern's intellect) to Chet Donnelly (Mark's not dickish enough... not quite) to John Bender (same, and Bender has good hair) to the bald biker from Weird Science. All good stabs, but they're all in some way superficial characterizations. The Mark we've gotten to know is more complex than that. He's highly clever. He's definitely not to be trifled with, though he's just a kid. Pretty much a pain in the ass. He's a little set apart from the rest of us because of his geographic location (and the fact that he never did time at W&M). And here at G:TB, he's found a sort of home. Alone. Yep, this punk is Kevin McAllister, and he's currently changing his Facebook picture to the shot of him screaming after he puts on the aftershave.

Nah, on second thought he's Charlie Sheen's character in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Perfect Quote:

Boy in Police Station: Drugs?

Jeannie: Thank you, no. I'm straight.

Boy in Police Station: I meant, are you in here for drugs?

Jeannie: Why are you here?

Boy in Police Station: Drugs.

Dennis

Dennis doesn't come around these parts as often as, say Teejay, so this should be highly informational for you readers. We had suggestions such as Rusty Griswold, Dick Vernon, the loogie-hocking pickup driver in Planes, Trains, & Automobiles, and Blaine McDonough. Hard to get a bead there, eh? This should help: Dennis is someone of upstanding moral character in his community, but when he breaks bad, look out. He's not just a tough guy but the kid with brooding intensity, intelligence, and emotion; he's the one who comes off bad-assed and strong but who's suffering deep down and just wants to go crazy, to wail on Larry Lester's buns or dance like crazy in a tank top. Ladies and gentlemen, meet Dennis, or as he's known in celluloid, Andrew Clark.

Perfect Quote: "If I lose my temper you're totaled, man."

TR
Ah, the ever elusive TR. Once known as Rhymenocerous, also The Iron Sheikh, also Tim the Enchanter. (TR is actually his initials: Thad Rigby is his real name.) And when it came to picking characters, there were just as many entries of equally diverse origin. The gayest pick was Kevin Bacon's Jake Briggs character from She's Having a Baby. I won't divulge which G:TBer confessed to come up with that one all too quickly, but let's just say Duckie and move on. We also got another Chet, another John Bender, a Beethoven, a Grandpa Fred, an Abe Froman the Sausage King of Chicago, and my favorite pick, Long Duk Dong. In the end, however, TR is quite clearly Cousin Eddie. His audacious demeanor matches his attire (he'd be the first to don the dickey in this group), he's quick with a joke and he makes us all chuckle at the very image of him. Is that real tomato ketchup, TR?

Perfect Quote: "Mornin' Clark. Shitter's full."

Whitney

Got just a few picks here, a Jack Butler (Mr. Mom), a Cameron Frye, and a Jake Ryan (self-pick). And some commentary about leading men, strong and handsome, the guy who always lands the hot babe, etc. Yeah. The consensus soon enough indicated that I am indeed . . . Clark W. Griswold. Equal parts lovable family man and inept clown, there seem to be enough parallels that there was no protesting Sparky. Time to pack up the Truckster and head to WalleyWorld, I guess.

Perfect Quote: "My credo is . . . if you have to have a credo, you know . . . 'Go for it' . . . pretty much."

TJ
And finally we get to Teejay. It's here that we have our first tie. Fortunately, both characters are played by the same actor, a late, great funny man with more than a few years of comedy experience under his belt. There were thoughts of little brother Mike Baker, Ed Rooney (TJ's mustache was spitting image), Dutch, and the girl in the Ferrari, but they quickly fell by the wayside at first mention of these two perfect picks: Uncle Buck and Del Griffith. Who doesn't love these guys? Yeah, they might seem abrasive at first, but after just a few years of spending time with them, you realize their greatness. TJ, you're welcome.

Perfect Quotes: "Art Linkletter was right. Kids do say the God damnedest things."

and

"Six bucks and my left nut says we're not going to be landing in Chicago."

(but I also love this exchange...)

Del: You play with your balls a lot.

Neal: I do NOT play with my balls.

Del: Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!

Neal: Are you trying to start a fight?

Del: No. I'm simply stating a fact. That's all. You fidget with your nuts a lot.

Neal: You know what'd make me happy?

Del: Another couple of balls, and an extra set of fingers?

********************************

Friday, August 7, 2009.
Gheorghe: The Blog.
Dear Mr. Vernon, We accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Friday morning coming up with this post for whatever it was we did wrong. What we did *was* wrong. But we think you're crazy to make us write a blogpost telling you who we think we are. What do you care? You see us as you want to see us - in the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. You see us as Duckie, Kevin, or the stoned guy, Andrew, Eddie, Clark, Buck, and Del. Correct? That's the way we saw each other at 7:00 this morning. We were brainwashed.

Hey, hey, hey, hey
Ooohhh...

Won't you come see about me?
I'll be alone, dancing you know it baby
Tell me your troubles and doubts
Giving me everything inside and out and
Love's strange so real in the dark
Think of the tender things that we were working on
Slow change may pull us apart
When the light gets into your heart, baby

Don't You Forget About Me
Don't Don't Don't Don't
Don't You Forget About Me

Will you call my name?
As you walk on by
Will you call my name?
Or will you walk away?
Will you walk on by?
Come on - call my name
Will you call my name?
I say: La
La la la la
La la la la la la la la la la...