Thursday, April 08, 2010

The Last Post Has 69 Comments. Clicks!

69 comments! Click your hooves, Griffin!

David forgot the first rule of filler...the clip. With the help of The 69 Boyz, your filler clip of the day:

79 comments:

Dave said...

sorry for the briefest post ever. i'm on my way to class. i wanted to continue the "muppet special" discussion, but i didn't want to ruin the 69 comments.

Igor said...

Briefest post ever?? It has two sentences, thereby doubling every single one of your efforts at the Daily Sentence.

Igor said...

But we can continue the "Muppet Special" chatter any time you like.

zman said...

The griffin has no hooves! It has the legs of a man, the feet of a sloth, and the hands of some as-yet unidentified four-fingered feathered thing.

Igor said...

The griffin also has small wings that in no way could support the weight of its frame. I mean, I'll offer a little willing suspension of disbelief where the cross-breeding of avian and feline species are concerned, just don't expect me to buy into that creature getting airborne with those little flappers.

As such, it seems to indicate our alma mater's outdated allegiance to the British Empire: the weight of the strong lion is hindering the eagle's flight. Think about that for a while.

. . . right after you've fully digested the philosophical, political, and allegorical weight of "The Muppet Special."

TJ said...

Alex Tyus declared for the NBA Draft?

Mark, go hop in your car, drive to Gainesville, and punch him in the face.

Dave said...

i can't access clips at school-- thanks!

the more i look at that griffin, the more i hate it. it could have been menacing, but instead it kind of looks like a muppet version of the griffin. if that eagle head was more imposing, and if the legs were more sinewy and animal like and if it had some huge batwings, then i might consider getting it tattooed on my body.

i wonder who will be the first to get a tattoo of the muppet version.

TJ said...

To bring it full circle, our Griffin looks like that crotchety old Muppet bald eagle character.

TJ said...

Meanwhile, Dave will stick to tats of Strawberry Shortcake on his lower back.

Dan said...

around the meat wallet would be an appropriate locale for griffin tattoo.

very, very difficult, impossible really, to produce anything here today with masters.com, beachgoers, and g:tb.

TR said...

What's a meat wallet?

Dave said...

meat wallet? testicles?

someone in the english office just said, " a griffin is pretty bad-ass."

apparently, he hasn't seen this particular griffin.

TR said...

Other than Geoff's face/mouth, that is...

Igor said...

If the school had chosen the Wren, Rob was going to cash in his tattoo virginity and make it happen. Much like our friend Hightower who backed out of getting the Lorax on his body because it didn't fully represent his "essence," Rob has indicated that the griffin doesn't "capture his inner je ne sais quoi."

Scooter from The Muppet Show, however, is pretty much Rob in muppet form.

TJ said...

I hear Tiger is gonna play today. Anyone know where I might be able to catch a glimpse? It seems under the radar.

TR said...

If Tiger wins the Masters, would that be the biggest "eff you to the world" event by a big-time athlete ever? Imagine if he runs away with it like he did in 1997. It would be such a big story. I think I'd like to see it happen . No offense to Toms, Watson, Marino or Cabrera.

TJ said...

No, rod is Statler and you are Waldorf. We've been over this.

Our old frat colleague Joyner, who you may or may not know, is Rizzo the Rat.

TJ said...

I think the second biggest FU would be double hair stylist murderer Ray Lewis winning the Super Bowl.

Igor said...

Have we taken to calling him Rod? Cause I really, really like that name for him.

TJ said...

Well played.

rob said...

rod is my porn name. rod squirrelmeat.

rob said...

i'm watching the masters on my phone. the future is awesome.

Igor said...

Wow, Teej, Ray Lewis also popped into my head in response to TR's comment. Great minds...

And Dave is right -- this version of the griffin is an insult to griffins. It's like the courage, intensity, and fierceness of Native Americans . . . as represented by Chief Wahoo.

TJ said...

You've got a real attitude problem, McRod. You're a slacker! You remind me of your father when he went here. He was a slacker, too.

Dan said...

meat wallet was learned here by a few of us a couple of weeks ago, courtest of i can't remember - geoff? mayhugh? i laugh just thinking about it...am doing so now. will let the originator re-define for your reading pleasure.

yeah - it would be a major eff you if tiger were to win. and after yesterday's bitch-slapping he was given my the chairman, he's probably even a little more focused, which is really scary.

Dan said...

courtesY and By, will proofread BEFORE publishing here on in - thank you for your patience

Igor said...

I believe the Bloodhound Gang, in their tribute to NATO, "Foxtrot Uniform Charlie Kilo," called it a ham wallet. They also used terms such as gut locker, pork steeple, and bitch wrinkle. A thoroughly clever piece of juvenilia.

TJ said...

The gallery just blew up for Tigre

TR said...

I'm not sure I'd call the Bloodhound Gang clever. But I do admire a band that writes songs about boobies and Chasey Lain, two topics most men enjoy much more than they let on to their significant others.

Especially the Hot Rod.

Dan said...

but did anyone blow him?

zman said...

I think it would be great if Tiger won the Masters, then immediately whipped his pants off and made love to the cup on the 18th green while yelling "AAAGGHHH! I'm rich bee-yotch!" Dave Chappelle-style. That would be bigger than Ray Lewis' FU, I think.

Igor said...

Eagerly look forward to the progression of Hot Rod's nickname and seeing how long it lasts. Taj, DC Geofferson, Rhymenocerous, Z-man, Jerry Flantastico, Gay Dave, Tiny, and KQterus have had varying amounts of nickname staying power.

Dan said...

z-dawg - am laughing again today. you g:tb'rs are funny sometimes.

for 8 yrs, while using the middle name & street name for porn name, my name would have been tommy deerwood....

name. name. name.

Igor said...

I thought it was childhood pet's name + childhood street name?

Squirt Buckingham, at your service.

rob said...

clancy mount burnside

rob said...

tom watson, you magnificent ageless bastard.

rob said...

just don't leave yourself an 8-footer for the win.

Dan said...

mickelson on a tear

Dan said...

mickeltitties i mean

zman said...

I thought first pet + mom's maiden name?

I'm Brutus Brown. Or Brutus Willow for pet + first street.

TR said...

I am enjoying the Masters video coverage, but they're killing me by not showing Tiger. I don't know what they're trying to prove.

TR said...

I mean the on-line coverage, of course. No offense to Anthony Kim, but he's not the reason I'm hogging my employer's bandwidth.

Dan said...

well, they probably pick a morning "featured group" and an afternoon...the morning is pretty good w/kim & els...i would venture to guess that as soon as they finish 18 it will go to tiger's. if not, then it's the bitchslap in continuance via billy payne...but would be SHOCKED if that were to happen

Igor said...

Almost as shocked as you would be if Tiger had been screwing around on his wife with some skeezy hoo-ers?

Dan said...

i don't know what you're talking about.

Dan said...

i may have to recaaant that statement. i won't be shocked. coverage starts in 40 minutes.

Dan said...

especially now since they're showing kenny perry...he's exciting to watch.

Greg said...

Then I'm either Ralph Seabreeze or Ralph Hochplatten

Igor said...

Greg, you are Ralph "Seabreeze" Hochplatten.

Dan said...

really, really nice round of golf furyk.

rob said...

wow, jimmy. that's not terribly strong.

Mark said...

I had always heard it was middle name + childhood street name. Which makes me: Patrick Marion. For some reason, it feels like a very porny name to me.

In the other iterations, my name is either Mandy Marion or Mandy Harper(am I a female porn star here?).

I'll stick with Patrick Marion.

TJ said...

We're now 16 comments away...

Igor said...

Fluff comments like that are not an honorable way to get to that threshold, Teej.

If you want 69, Teej, don't be a fluffer.

rob said...

gheorghe: the blog made the hallowed epages of the atlantic monthly today. this might be the highlight of my writing career. somewhere, walt whitman is turning in his grave.

http://bit.ly/b0Mq2O

mayhugh said...

I always imagined Rob as less of a Scooter and more of a Bunson. But maybe that's because I have the Muppet Babies version of Bunson in my head.

I like the middle name + street name - makes me Chris Framingham.

...

Sounds kinda gay.

Mark said...

Cue to scene of TJ looking on at Rob in disgust/envy whilst trying to figure out a way to get himself published ala Pete Campbell.

Greg said...

Last one to Chumly's get's to push Ken Cosgrove, published author, home in a baby stroller.

Igor said...

After the More Than a Game masterpost, I think most of us were sure that Rob would be the G:TBer most likely to be quoted in a higher-minded publication.

But you readers have going to have to subside predominantly on stupid YouTube clips and bitchy posts about people who say "it is what it is." Sorry.

By the way, my new boss uses nearly all of the expressions I complained about . . . like 10-20 times a day. As well as Rob's "I love me some _______." I am amused at the irony.

Igor said...

I love me some Miranda Cosgrove.

Ahh, the sweet solace of anonymity. It's liberating.

cgormley said...

Ashley Pelham or Gidget Pelham. Boned on both accounts. Stupid porn names.

rob said...

yeah, you read right. gormley's middle name is gidget.

TJ said...

Myno Duespa thinks you're a dick.

Dave said...

nice work, rob! that's quite a link, although i would have used a different verb, as in: W&M blogger rob "ejaculates" instead of "muses."

the furniture is outside at charlie brown's-- i am going to drink beer and celebrate rob's literary fame.

rob said...

freddie couples isn't wearing socks. and he's leading the masters. hell, yeah.

zman said...

I'm not wearing any underpants. And I'm leading ... nothing, really.

Igor said...

You're leading the office in creepiness, I'm quite sure.

Okay, truth be told, I'm not wearing underpants, either. Also very liberating.

TJ said...

It appears we have indeed collected the underpants, skipped phase 2 as instructed and will be collecting profits in phase 3.

Dan said...

wow rob. i'm impressed. i'm surprised and disappointed they didn't use the meat wallet tattoo line, maybe they will now

rob said...

brad stevens signs a 12-year contract with butler today. megamidmajor!

zman said...

Stevens clearly reads G:TB. ESPN says he made $750k in total compensation last year and he got "a raise" with the new deal.

Mark said...

Hopefully Stevens gives G:TB a shout in his next press conference. And Greg picking up on the Mad Men reference is why I love him, ngs, and why he's in my wedding. Well, not THE reason, just one of many.

TJ said...

I hope Vitas is involved...and Roberto is the reception entertainment.

And where the fuck is my invite?

Igor said...

Mark, can I bring a date to the wedding?

Mark said...

It's not until February. Shit, bring two dates.

TJ said...

Gheorghe; the Wedding

Oh my.

rob said...

open papal ballot bar, i assume

TJ said...

Open tat parlor as well.

zman said...

Mark plans to import a bunch of maple trees so everyone can tap their own.