Don't Believe the Hype

Depending on when we actually get around to posting this, we're less than two days away from the 2008 SEC Championship, which pits the nation's top two squads in a National Championship elimination game. Sort of a "playoff", if you will.

Mark's a Florida grad and a keen observer of Gator football. I spent a number of my formative years in Huntsville, AL and remain a Crimson Tide fan. I haven't been this nervous about a 'Bama game in years, and I hear from Mark that he's having a hard time sitting still for tattoos due to his own anxiety. The editors at G:TB caught up with both of us this week for our pregame "insights":

1. What scares you the most about Saturday’s game?

Rob: Speed, speed, speed and skill. Not a description of a Keanu Reeves trilogy and the thing that it lacks, but a nod to the fearsome jets on Percy Harvin, Jeff Demps, and Chris Rainey, and the way Urban Meyer deploys them. There’s nobody in college football more fun to watch than Harvin, with the possible exception of Brandon James, though I suspect it’ll be a lot less fun to watch them when they’re blazing around the field against my team. Betting guru Brandon Lang claimed this morning that Alabama can match Florida’s speed. And while he gets paid to watch football for a living and has seen a lot more games than I have this year, let’s just say I’m unconvinced.

Mark: If you know me, you know I stress out about an inordinate amount of things before a big Gator game. Is Percy Harvin’s ankle injury manageable? Will Florida’s current rash of injuries along the defensive line leave the Florida defense susceptible to the run? Do I have enough boom (ht: Greg) to get me through the game? All of these things, as well as plenty of others, will be running through my head over the next 24+ hours. However, the thing that scares me most about this game is how Nick Saban’s schemes and defensive gameplan will affect Tim Tebow. Though he’s had a remarkably efficient year, Tebow still has a long way to go as a QB when it comes to reading defenses and going through his progressions. He can be confused by well disguised coverages and defenses that change looks late in the play clock. At least once a game, Tebow will throw a pass that should be an easy interception. He did this early in the LSU game but the safety misjudged it and it went for a Harvin TD. He did it again early in the Georgia game and it was picked off in the red zone, only to be nullified by an “illegal hands to the face” penalty on the Bulldogs. Nobody in the SEC, possibly the country, is a better designer of defenses than Saban and nobody teaches their secondary to read routes better Saban does. Tebow’s going to make a questionable throw or two early in this game.

What scares me most is the prospect of one (or more) of these throws landing in the arms of an Alabama defender. Turnovers will allow the Alabama offense to play on a shorter field and that’s never a good thing. Florida has to prevent turnovers, thereby forcing Alabama’s somewhat limited offense to consistently have to drive the length of the field in order to score.

2. What single player would you drug like Gus the Kicking Mule in order to keep him from making it to kickoff?

Rob: No brainer. Tim Tebow. While I’m sure Florida has a backup quarterback, I’m equally sure his talents pale in comparison to the Heisman winner’s. I mean, there’s no chance their backup can circumcise orphans with one hand while curing AIDS and legalizing marijuana with the other, all the while having Mark surgically attached to his jockstrap. I suspect he also can’t run through a brick wall unscathed and throw the ball a country mile, either. Watch yourself, Tebow – as Whitney knows, rohyphnol has multiple uses.

Mark: There are a number of candidates for this honor. One could go with super frosh Julio Jones, as he’s the Tide’s one true difference maker in the passing game. Or John Parker Wilson since the Tide has no other signal caller with experience. Or even Andre Smith, as he’s probably the nation’s best O-lineman and the key to Alabama’s powerful and relentless rushing attack. All are fine candidates. However, none have the potential to be the difference maker in this game in the manner that Terrence Cody does. Have you seen this guy? He’s impossibly big (375 pounds), he’s extremely agile, and he plays with a mean streak. Perhaps even more importantly, his size and ability allow Saban to play the 3-4, which is his preferred defensive alignment.

Florida’s got to find a way to keep Cody from consistently disrupting things on the interior of the line if they want to continue to successfully run the ball the way they have over the last 6 weeks. If you want to watch a great matchup tomorrow, direct your attention to the middle of the Alabama defense, where one, or both, of Florida’s Pouncey twins will be smashing heads with Mr. Cody on a play-by play basis. (One note: Rashad Johnson is a beast at safety and if Saban can confuse Tebow, then Johnson's the likely recipient of any of the Heisman winner's errant passes...still though Cody gets the drugs...lots and lots of them.)

3. What do you hate the most about the other team?

Rob: I hate that it’s so much harder to hate Florida than it used to be. Back in the Spurrier days, I used to work up a righteous, seething anger when the Gators would ass-stomp some poor squad and enjoy doing it. But I liked Urban Meyer at Utah because his offense was fun – even if he does seem a bit of a prick (and even then, Nick Saban coaches my team, so it’d be a bit hypocritical for me to cast aspersions on Meyer). And it’s impossible to hate Tebow – even if he may actually be an alien.

All that notwithstanding, I feel pretty good about the likelihood of a visceral hatred boiling over as soon as I see those hideous metallic blue and orange costumes take the field in Atlanta. I also hate that Mark's answer to this question will contain more colorful uses of the word 'fuck'.

Mark: Besides Rob? Wow, this is tough. It would be easy to say the Alabama fans here. Everybody knows that they are, collectively, a bunch of arrogant, racist, self-entitled assholes who can’t accept the fact that college football can, and in fact has, existed without them (I’ve always been partial to Auburn fans). Think Notre Dame fans without the education, wealth or years of crippling Catholic guilt. Believe me, it’s a bad combination. With that said, its not the Alabama fans that I hate most but the manner of losses that the Tide has dealt Florida over the years. There’s the “Shaun Alexander game” in 1999 when the aforementioned Alexander whipped his dick out in the Swamp and carried a Tide team led by Andrew Zow to an improbable OT victory over a highly ranked Gators squad (which was being led by Doug Johnson…excuse me, I just threw up a little). Later that same year, the Tide completely took apart the Gators in a rematch at the 1999 SEC Championship game, erasing any thought that their win in Gainesville had been a fluke and dashing any hope of an SEC title for Florida.

The worst loss though, took place in Tuscaloosa in 2005. From the very start, Bama absolutely embarrassed Florida. The Tide were bigger, faster and just plain tougher than the Gators in this one and Mike Shula had no problem continually proving this as the game wore one, even calling for a deep throw to the end zone in the 4th quarter with the Tide up 31-3 (Tyrone Prothro, R.I.P.). It was, to put it simply, miserable. I’ve never been so disappointed in an Urban Meyer led Gator team in my life. I’ll never forget that game, that embarrassment and I sure hope Meyer hasn’t forgotten about it either.

(Rob: What, no 'fucks'? That's...surprising.)

4. What’s your prediction?

Rob: For weeks leading up to the game, I dreaded the spectre of a high-flying Florida team demolishing Alabama – the Gators are clicking on all cylinders offensively, and quietly playing excellent defense to boot. As the game draws closer, though, I’m starting to put stock in the quality of Alabama’s offensive and defensive lines, in the idea that John Parker Wilson – as average as he may be – doesn’t make a lot of mistakes (a lot like an unheralded quarterback who led an Alabama team to an unexpected national title in 1992), in Glen Coffee’s talent, and most importantly, in Nick Saban’s ability to scheme defensively.

All that, though, and there’s still a little part of me saying, “Put down the pipe, Mersh. Clinton is right here.” The Tide keeps it close, but can’t keep the Gators down for four quarters. Florida prevails, 31-20. And Mark gets a tattoo of the Pouncey twins on his junk.

Mark: I hate predicting Florida games. I don’t want to jinx anything and, honestly, I’d prefer to talk about the game and leave it at that. That way, I can still sound smart without ruining it all by predicting a result and being comically off the mark. However, Rob’s not letting me off the hook here, so here it is:

Alabama’s defense is going to give the Gators some problems early and force Florida to play the field position game for much of the first half. I think Florida actually goes into halftime down to Bama, something like 13-10. In the second half, Florida’s speed and depth will begin to wear the Tide down and allow for some big plays down the field in the passing game. Florida’s offense gets on track from there and the Gators get a big play out of their special teams as they pull away late and win. Final score: Gators 31- Alabama 20.