Sunday, December 14, 2008

pick some games jerks

the minimalist version...


yeah, you heard me

okay, assmunch, we like the steelers on the road getting points (2.5) in baltimore.

Lions @ Indianapolis (-16.5)

I'm picking this game only because all of my G:TB colleagues told me not to. That and Dan Orlosky is starting at QB again against a Colts D that's tasted chicken blood again.... Danny will also be on a short leash apparently due to his inability to hit open receivers in practice against no defense. Oh, and the Lions are also not going to play Daunte again this year (for fear that he might throw 2 more TD's at which point a $1 Million dollar bonus kicks in), so it'll be Drew Stanton if things get really ugly. From there it becomes Randy Johnson at 6 AM after a night with his pal Johnny Walker...Colts by three TD's: 28-7.

Tampa Bay @ Atlanta (-3)

The Bucs have managed to go from a potential division clinching game on Monday night (since two wins over Carolina would've effectively given them a 2 game lead in the NFC South) to a possible playoff elimination death match in 6 days. This is quite an accomplishment, even for a franchise with such a storied history of losing and underachievement. Did anybody else read Peter King's story on Derrick Brooks in SI a couple weeks back? For that matter, does anybody even subscribe to SI anymore? ( I had since 4th grade and cancelled it this year. Now I just steal it from my gym. Its a week old at this point, but its not anything in there is groundbreaking news these days anymore. Not with the talking picture boxes and the email machines).

Yeah, I know, Peter King is an idiot and a bit of a nancy boy for my tastes too but, when given the right topic/subject (colonoscopies anyone?), he can be a hell of a reporter. King did a great job of profiling Brooks' weekly routine and mental preparation in order to help explain why he's remained one of the NFL's most consistent and a prolific linebackers despite being older than a number of assistant coaches in the league. It's my guess that Brook's mental preparation, as well as that of his defensive teammates, will help the Bucs' defense rebound after being embarrassed by Carolina last week and lift Tampa to a crucial division win that keeps the Bucs in the thick of the playoff hunt. Atlanta's been a surprise this year and Matt Ryan's far exceeded expectations for most of this year, but he's due for a down game and Monte Kiffin, Brooks and Co. feast on young, inexperienced signal callers. Even with Jeff Garcia possibly out (torn rectum) and the looming possibility of a drunken Brian Griese lobbing balls to the Atlanta defense, I'll take Tampa and the points in the Georgia Dome on Sunday.

and because we have to, we'll take the giants +3 and the eagles -14. suck it, trebek.

40 comments:

rob said...

teejay's got some work to do

Mark said...

That is an impressive lack of effort.

rob said...

if teejay's remotely as hungover as i am, it'll be awhile before it improves.

rob said...

spiffy start for the maroon and black.

Geoff said...

I'm pretty sure this is the largest lead the Bengals have had at any point in time in 2008.

Geoff said...

If this team gets blown out by the Bengals, I'm willing to entertain the "Zorn has lost the team" arguments. How far we have come...

Geoff said...

Wow. The only thing the Skins performance is missing is maybe Zorn walking around the sidelines with toilet paper stuck to his shoe.

Geoff said...

This is Spurrier-esque.

rob said...

yeah, i'm over zorn as a coaching genius. he gives good press conference, though.

rob said...

and seriously, is santana moss still on this fucking team?

Geoff said...

This might put me in the "reactionary fan" column...but I'm fine with starting Colt Brennan next week.

TJ said...

Greg and I (me?) are a taaaad hungover. But do laugh at Skins so far as well.

Whitney said...

Geoff, I was just thinking some similarly reactionary thoughts. Like . . . the way things are going, if Bill Cowher lets it be known that he might like to coach in '09, Zorn is likely gone. And that's astounding to say, given where we were just 6 weeks ago.

rob said...

sweet fucking jesus

Whitney said...

Hard to say which side of the ball is having a worse day.

When the best thing that's happened all quarter is that they didn't rule it a fumble when the idiot wide receiver put the ball on the turf on a catch where he didn't even get all that close to the 1st down marker on 3rd and 4 . . . yep, that's good.

Whitney said...

I think Zorn borrowed one of Norv Turner's pep talks for his locker room speech. They're the Ambien of coach's speeches.

Whitney said...

Pull a Singletary and send Moss to the locker room. Fuck you, douchebag, you're losing by 10 to the 2nd worst team in the NFL.

Geoff said...

Is it possible that depending on guys from "The U" to make up the core of your franchise is not a good business model?

Whitney said...

A decent throw by Campbell there to Cooley nets 6. That throw means they take their final time-out. Nice.

Geoff said...

This team comes out in the second half and takes control of the game...it tells me Zorn hasn't lost the team. Anything short of a mildly dominant half of football and Zorn is finished.

Mark said...

Oh man, I can't wait to read the Wheelhouse tomorrow if the Skins keep this up.

Geoff said...

I can just repost an old post from the end of the Spurrier era...about disregarding the draft, impatience, etc. Its the same problem...nothing has changed.

TJ said...

I'd read it again.

Geoff said...

The Bengals are really helping out the Skins on this drive. I guess that's what 1-win teams do.

Geoff said...

That was not even close to being a TD.

Whitney said...

I cannot fathom what the refs talked about before awarding the touchdown.

"You see the play?"

"Nope. Hot chick in section 103."

"I was staring at the hot dog vendor in 117 -- the dude is enormous."

"Stomach stapling candidate?"

"Total."

"Wanna make this game closer?"

"Why not? These teams suck."

"Cool. TOUCHDOWN!"

Whitney said...

Well, that was predictable.

Mark said...

I'd forgotten how much I hate watching Brian Griese play quarterback.

Geoff said...

This wont be reversed.

Geoff said...

"The runner never crossed the ball with the goal line."

He sure didn't.

Whitney said...

Laron Landry is displaying the singular kind of talent today that can take a team all the way to the Grey Cup. Avoiding contact all over the place.

TJ said...

Leodis might not be a name...flag on the play? Fuck yeah.

Geoff said...

When they lose this game, any chance Zorn gets fired before he gets back to DC? I'll put it at a 15% chance.

TJ said...

Crazy play in Jets game.

Mark said...

Oh JP, you tremendous fuckup you.

TJ said...

JP Losman is brutal.

rob said...

some top-flight officiating incompetence on display in baltimore.

Rhymenocerous said...

Senor Zoltan and I attended today's Jets-Bills game. It's hard to explain how I can feel so bad about my 9-5 Jets. The mood leaving that game was "it's about time that we won one while playing so badly."

The Bills fans were beyond douchey in the Meadowlands. Plenty of near skirmishes in the upper tiers. Thankfully, Z-Man kept his Bills zeal to himself for most of the game.

And in case you were wondering, that was boos you heard in the 4th quarter when the Jets were winning. And they were warranted. Ugly, ugly win for Gang Green.

zoltan said...

Why did Jauron call a pass play on 2nd-and-5 with 2:06 left in the game, up by 3, with JP effing Losman at QB? Just run the ball twice, punt, and make Favre bring them back with 1:30 or so to work with? I'm an idiot and I knew that was the drill.

Whitney said...

Any chance the Giants just let Choice score that TD?