Friday, December 05, 2008

Day 4: A Little Holiday Hate

We've been peppering you with (hopefully) fun photos and tales of (almost) excellence, but I need to break up the Gheorghe-mas funfest with my annual warning re. the worst holiday song ever crafted. And based on what I expect of rob and Mark's SEC Championship Game preview, this is going to be one anger-filled day at G:TB. Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, Merry Christmas, kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass. Happy Hanukkah.

On the first day of Gheorghe-mas
Big Gheorghe gave to me
A fat guy in a jer-sey

On the second day of Gheorghe-mas
Big Gheorghe gave to me
Two sweet 'stache photos
And a fat guy in a jer-sey

On the third day of Gheorghe-mas
Big Gheorghe gave to me
Three Richmond wins
Two sweet 'stache photos
And a fat guy in a jer-sey


On the fourth day of Gheorghe-mas
Big Gheorghe gave to me
Four awful words
Three Richmond wins
Two sweet 'stache photos
And a fat guy in a jer-sey


When I populated this post yesterday as a draft, this was what I left as the placeholder:
"words of hate"

The four awful words referenced above:
Christmas (Fucking)
Eve (Shoot)
In (Me)
Washington (Now)

I think you get how I feel about Maura Sullivan's "Christmas Eve in Washington". It's not so much that her song sucks donkey balls (it does), it's not even that it's sickly sweet and lyrically piss poor (it's that as well), I think the real kick in the mistletoe is that the local xmas radio station chooses to play this song at least once an hour beginning in mid-October (once they shelve the Backstreet Boys and Michael Bolton tunes) despite it's historic awfulness. I get it, we live in (or around) Washington, DC...this woman crafted a holiday song JUST FOR US. OH MY GOD THAT IS SO AWESOME WE HAVE TO PLAY THIS NOW. AND NOW. AND AGAIN.

You know, I thought last year's diatribe covered most of my hate, but then I discovered this song now has its own webpage (which I will most certainly not be linking to) and I got "Bob Knight Choking Neil Reed" mad again. Maura Sullivan, thanks for ruining another Gheorghe-mas. I hope you're happy.

At least O.J. getting thrown in pound-you-in-the-ass prison for 30 years later today will make me a tad happier.

16 comments:

Rhymenocerous said...

I'm a day and a post late on the topic of Mike Teel's pro prospects, but he will not be helped by the fact that he punched a teammate in the head ON THE FIELD after throwing a loss-sealing interception. The teammmate made the mistake of trying to console Teel as he was walking off of the field.

Teel felt a ton of pressure earlier this year. His name was thrown in the mix for the 2009 draft, the team was expected to win 8-9 games and he had to shoulder a bigger burden with Ray Rice's departure.

That said, he sounds like a sure-fire 6th round pick of the Bengals.

Rhymenocerous said...

But all is good in Piscataway because Rutgers will likely be heading to Detroit or Canada for their bowl game. Going to Detroit is worse than not going to a bowl. Toronto would be fun b/c the city is cool, but it ain't warm. Rutgers has an outside shot at the Sun Bowl if UConn beats Pitt this weekend and a couple other things happen.

Whitney said...

Toronto is the cleanest big city I've ever visited.

Detroit, from what I hear, is . . . not so much.

TJ said...

The Brut Sun Bowl. Just wanted to mention that again.

Whitney said...

Is that Brut by Fabergé?

jerome said...

Is this the link you were looking for?

http://www.christmaseveinwashington.net/

Marlin said...

How did the marketing guys at Aqua Velva not sponsor a bowl especially sinve it appears that the Independence bowl is now without a sponsor since the folks at Poulon Weed Eater pulled out.

"Smells like a Quarterback's locker."

Rhymenocerous said...

I think Axe has thoroughly pushed out Aqua Velva and Brut.

At least it has in my bathroom...

TJ said...

Work Jerry, not cool man. Not cool at all.

Marlin said...

Timmy - I always thought of you as an English Leather guy.

Rhymenocerous said...

I think the above comment was Marlin speaking to himself in the second person. Probably while looking at himself in a mirror.

Mark said...

Stetson, boys...Its what the ladies love...

TJ said...

Oh man, picturing Marlin talking to himself in the mirror in the Marlin voice is cracking me up...

Marlin said...

No, I do all my mirror talking in the third person.

BooYah - Timmy likes the Old Spice. Timmy likes the sea.

zoltan said...

Warren used to bathe himself in generous amounts of Cool Water. Like Snoop Dogg, I guess.

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