Once again, I'm carrying this team...

After a 3 week run of complete success, I came crashing back down to earth in the form of a 0-3 record on last week's picks. That would be terrible news and reason for me to be angry, if my 0-3 day hadn't coincided with Florida beating the tar out of Georgia. I've checked it out, its actually impossible for me to be in a bad mood when Florida beats Georgia. I hate the entitled Bulldog fanbase so much that anytime I get to tell them to "go back to their shanties" or to "go home and cry to your wife, er sister" it's guaranteed to be a good day. When I can do that after yet another lame motivational tactic from Mark Richt, well, all the better. (Quick tanget here: Mark Richt isn't loathed nearly enough by Gator fans. He played QB at Miami, was largely responsible for much of FSU's success in the 90s and has been the most successful UGA coach since Vince Dooley, who can eat an entire bag of dicks by the way. I mean, this guy is like the perfect storm of useless, shitbird rival coaches and for whatever reason {I think the reason is Florida owns his sorry bible toting ass} he seems to get a free hate pass from a large segment of the Gator Nation. Well, not me fucko. You suck, you're bland, boring and unoriginal and I hope Willie Martinez impregnates one of your adopted third world daughter with his incompetent seed.)

Well then, that felt good. Onto the picks:

Duke (+7.5) @ North Carolina: When these two get together...the stands are half empty and the fans are talking basketball. Listen, nobody cares about this game outside of the research triangle and nobody ever will. These schools don't have the facilities, tradition or (frankly) the desire to compete at a high level in football and I don't think anyone cares. Just like nobody cares that Geoff is gay and adopted a couple Romanian babies to further fool his Republican colleagues into thinking he "liked girls" and didn't enjoy things like "sucking cock behind clubs on M street on weekends". Don't worry Geoff, your secret's safe with Gheorghe. Carolina wins, but they don't cover.

Oklahoma (-6.5) @ Nebraska: I keep hearing that Bo Pelini has brought the Black shirts back, and I keep thinking, "Who gives a fuck?". Seriously, is there a dumber tradition in college football than the Black shirts? We're tough, we mean business. You know how you can tell? We refuse to wear colorful shirts! We go against our school's natural color scheme!! Yeah, well, you know who else wears a lot of black? Goth kids. Those kids suck and I don't believe I've ever met one who looked even remotely tough. You know what other team wears black despite it not being a part of their school's color scheme? Duke Basketball. Oooooh! Kyle Singler's wearing black. It completely distracts me from the fact that he looks like an alien and, despite being blown by every ACC announcer, has yet to come through in a single big game during his college career. Hey Huskers...why don't you start slapping the field before each defensive series while you're at it? That way we'll really know you mean business. Oklahoma's not as good as last year for a number of reasons (QB, WR, Oline) but they're still much better than Nebraska. Sooners.

Vanderbilt (+35) @ Florida: I'd like to take Florida here, but I can't give 35 points based on one good offensive showing against an undisciplined and porous Georgia defense. If Florida had dropped 41 on, say South Carolina I'd be much more impressed and even pretty likely to say that the Gator offense was back on track. However, since that's not the case. I'm going to take the points and an underrated Vandy squad. Quick note: Keep an eye out (Get it, "eye out"...Brandon Spikes writes all my jokes.) for a couple of freshman who should see extensive playing time today. Xavier Nixon, who I mentioned last week, and Jon Bostic, a true freshman MLB from Miami who's already built like a senior and is said to be the heir apparent to Brandon Spikes at MLB. Gators win, Vandy covers.

Okay, that's it. I'm off to play basketball. I'll throw some pictures in with this post when I get back.