Wednesday, November 25, 2009

NME Magazine's Top 100 Albums of the Decade

Lists. They're objective, tough to categorize and create instant debate fodder. And it seems that the point of many of them is to push a controversial agenda and bring it into some sort of public forum. As I (struggle to) mature, I've found that it's usually best to ignore lists I stumble across on the world wide web, as there is usually an ulterior motive for controversial selections. But sometimes, when I fall victim to whimsy and read through a list, I uncover mistakes of such an egregious nature occur that it forces me to fend off ennui, pull out my soapbox, double-check the planks to make sure they won't break when my fat ass climbs up, and vent.

The issue is this: NME Magazine's Top 100 albums of the decade. NME Magazine is a publication that caters to folks on the other side of the pond who like their rock and roll. For the most part, the list is okay, with some well-known monster releases combined with a healthy dose of the indie stuff that music insiders love to know better than suburban Dads.

But's what's the #1 album of the decade, according to these pundits? None other than this shit sandwich.

I have nothing against one-hit wonders who liberally steal from Tom Petty's American Girl when crafting their singles, but I sure wouldn't put them at the top of any list (unless it was a list of d-bags who get hot chicks). Actually, I take that last sentence back. The first part, at least. I do have something against them. The band was fast-tracked to fame because Julian Casablancas' dad was the founder of the Elite Modeling Agency and instantly constructed a sexy following for the guys in the band that sported terrible faux fros and outfits that would make Journey wince. Their music is incredibly unoriginal and unexciting, and these guys are not worthy of holding Jack White's red and white jock strap. Assuming he wears one at all. And that if he did, it would match his band's color scheme.


The Strokes may have spawned the godforesaken hipster movement, but they are certainly not worthy of such adulation, especially if they're not paying Tom Petty and each and every Heartbreaker for stealing the chorus of American Girl for use in Last Night.


On that festive note, happy Thanksgiving.

33 comments:

zoltan said...

So I guess I shouldn't try to get you to listen to Little Joy?

zoltan said...

Lists are tiresome. But I guess they provide fodder for Gheorghian banter and thus have utility. NME has "In Rainbows" at #10, but Spin just wrote that Radiohead sucks.

Mark said...

Spin said Radiohead sucks? That completely negates them putting Endtroducing in their top 10 albums from the 1990s many years back.

The feud is back on Spin! Go get fucked assholes.

TJ said...

You will not find more faux Spin! anger than right here at gtb.

Mark said...

In other news...I absolutely adore Feast Week. One day, I'm going to the Maui Invitational. My family will understand. And if they don't...fuck them.

rob said...

late to the festive pre-thanksgiving party - the meth is quite tasty. thanks, mark.

and i hate smashing pumpkins and counting crows. deeply and irrationally.

TJ said...

Mark will go, be the coach of a Sunbelt team, and wear long sleeves due to his tat situ. Dickie V will praise his brash new 1-3-1 full court press, and Dan Shulman will praise his complete lack of hair.

Mark said...

You hate Siamese Dream?

I'm, well, I'm hurt, Rob.

Mark said...

And then I'll go out and get drunk with Jimmy Dykes and Bill Raftery. Best Thanksgiving ever.

TJ said...

/end scene

TJ said...

Dude, did you just try to bash the teacups ride at Disney? May the anti-semetic corpse of Walt himself hunt you down, blasphemer.

Mark said...

No TJ, I was bashing you. The teacups are, like Walt Disney, legendary (coincidentally, they too hate Jews) but I cannot handle them. I will feel worse after one ride on the teacups than after a three day coke binge. Believe me, I speak from experience on both counts.

Mark said...

But I will fuck up a rollercoaster all day long...

TJ said...

Greivis will be making a run at J.J.'S hated status in ACC gyms this year. That kid is hate-a-ble.

Mark said...

It will be neck and neck between he and Singler all year long.

TJ said...

Wisconsin. Same thing. Every year. Consistent honkeys (with a rare Alando Tucker here and there)

Dave said...

good list. artists i will vouch for: broekn social scene, the good the bad and the queen, the streets, dizzee rascal, the hold steady, aracde fire, yeah yeah yeahs (ONLY fever to tell- their EP), the coral, the avalanches, lcd soundsystem.

kid A is soulless. demon days by the gorillaz deserves WAY better than number 98. i am going to pirate some of the ones i don't know right now.

white denim is a good band from austin.

Dave said...

also, they forgot the magnetic fields-- distortion. major oversight. "california girls" is one of the best songs of the 2000's.

rob said...

pour a little out for the answer's career

Mark said...

I didn't read the list but I concur on The Avalanches (Since I Left You is A. Mazing.) and LCD Soundsystem.

Dave...you ever listen to Ghostland Observatory?

rob said...

would add bon iver, the shins, and ryan adams to the already-mentioned standouts. and glad to see 'american idiot' on the list - might be my favorite recent album by a 'mainstream' act.

Dave said...

it's not funny to make up fictitious band names so people google them.

rob said...

tribe survives danny sumner's late-game free throw brickeration to beat hampton. 3-2 on the season. and that close loss to uconn looks pretty good right now with the way the huskies are manhandling lsu.

zoltan said...

Bon iver is worthwhile? I missed the boat on beared boy bans like them and fleet foxes.

rob said...

gotta be in the mood for bon iver and fleet foxes, but both make really compelling music. moody, down-tempo stuff, to be sure - not recommended for pumping up a crowd.

zoltan said...

The z-man is good at two things: math and pumping.

Whitney said...

Here's a Dave-like comment but true: Bon Iver is 100 times better than Fleet Foxes. Start with Flume, For Emma or Skinny Love.

Mark said...

What was the fictitious band name? I feel like I missed something...

Also, Dwight Howard going to punch somebody before the season's over. I'm not saying it isn't a good strategy but guys hang all over him and then follow it up with vicious chops on his arms and shoulders 20-25 times a game. At some point he's going to snap. I hope he snaps on Jermaine O'Neal.

Mark said...

David Steele just dropped a "coldblooded!" for Vince's deep late 3. Vince has been pretty damn good for the Magic thus far this year...

rob said...

mark, i believe dave mistyped ghostland observatory into google and thus believes they are a fictional band. best i could do with the available evidence.

Mark said...

They are not fictional. They are awesome. What's not awesome is the way the Magic just lost. Fucking Beasley.

zoltan said...

You mean Supercool Beas.

Mark said...

Reason #45, 326 that Cable is awesome:

Stanford-Kentucky tied with 2.4 seconds left, live from Cancun.