Monday, November 02, 2009

Abdullah Abdullah...We Hardly Knew Ya

The decision by Abdullah Abdullah to resign from the run-off in Afghanistan has dealt a crushing blow to advocates of doubly named entities worldwide. When this news broke, Mister Mister was devastated. As early trailblazers for equality, their cause now suffers from broken wings. Same for Duran Duran, who blamed the new moon on Monday for the decision.

Also upset is Sirhan Sirhan, who feels he now has no shot at parole, and Rochelle Rochelle, who has been looking for new adventures since completing her strange, erotic journey from Milan to Minsk.

74 comments:

zoltan said...

Major Major Major Major is bummed as well.

Dan said...

how 'bout richard dick, our old principle at jwhs - and no, that is not a joke. furthermore, his wife's name was anita. also...not a joke.

rob said...

duany duany is heartbroken that you forgot about him him.

zoltan said...

Lisa Lisa could not be reached for comment.

TJ said...

As has been noted in this space before, I went to high school with a kid named Richard Dick.

rob said...

boutros boutros dropped the ghali in protest

TJ said...

God (Sham)god has next.

TJ said...

And once Yo Yo is done with Zoltan's Ma he wants in on this.

Whitney said...

William Carlos Williams just added another Carlos to his name.

And did you know???? Rob's rap name in college was DJ Robbie Robb.

zoltan said...

Willie Williams felt a tinge of angst but then realized it was just heartburn.

Whitney said...

Robbie Robertson wrote a song about it. It's called "Up, Up on Cripple Cripple Creek Creek."

rob said...

they don't call whitney stretch just because of his height

Whitney said...

It's because I like to stretch out before running 10k's and such. I'm a stickler!

Dan said...

very strange...just received an email from one of the investment guys in the office i send very little money to...his name? Scotty Scott - i crap you negative.

Mark said...

Cam Cameron threw a hissy fit in protest. Then, he asked if we saw what Tedd Ginn jr. did yesterday with more than a hint of self satisfaction.

I quickly reminded him that he led an NFL football franchise to a 1 win season. He's going to be quiet for a while now.

TJ said...

The West Division of our college fantasy league is mediocrity at its finest.

rob said...

the great stephen root slipped back into character to note that jimmy james' name came from the beastie boys song.

rob said...

our league has divisions? with geographical distinctions?

TJ said...

That's what the standings tell me.

Mark said...

I was tearing that league up. Unfortunately, the magic and majesty of Todd Reesing has deserted me when I need him most. If I had started Landry Jones the past two weeks I would've won both games. Especially painful since I lost to Vitas, of all people, by one damn point.

TJ said...

To make you even more bummed out, as of early Sunday morning you two were tied...yet when I checked back last night he had mysteriously earned one more point to garner the win.

rob said...

my season went the way of dez bryant. i still can't believe you fuckers punished me for eating lunch with deion sanders.

Mark said...

Don't want to hear it. I lost Michael Floyd and Rob Gronkowski in the first 3 weeks of the season.

rob said...

i haven't mentioned taylor potts, ricky dobbs, armando allen, and the other assortment of nameless dipshits that have rotated through my roster. i can't believe i paid teejay $100 to be in this league.

Mark said...

Yeah...I can't believe I paid $100 for that league either. Or the $100 I paid for fantasy basketball.

TJ said...

How do you think I bought all those Skymall gifts?

Marlin said...

I took today off and have not done much other than watch episodes of the original V mini-series on the recently rebranded SyFy channel.

I know TR recently made mention of Marc Singer's role in this opus, but what about Michael Ironsides. He has my hairline, really bad skin, and plays basically the same character he did in Top Gun, yet somehow, he is one of the two leading roles.

Additionally, some of the Visitors, especially anybody who has a minor roll and will soon get killed, are really ugly. Not just 80's bad hair ugly, but really unattractive. If you were race of lizard people looking to take over earth, why would you make some of your masks really f'ing ugly? Is it somehow based on their lizard attractiveness?

I think I need to get out of the house.

TR said...

I knew there were lots more, but this whole stupid "you have to do work all day" policy got in the way of me efforting more. Bummter.

You guys added some good ones to the mix.

TR said...

"Bummter" is German for "bummer".

As in, Augustus Gloop thought it was a real bummter when his mother told himhe had to finish his strudel before he could eat any Black Forest cake.

Mark said...

In college football fantasy news, Syracuse WR Mike Williams quit the team today. For anybody keeping track, that's bow makes it 3 for 3 of my top 3 receiving options being out for the year. Awesome.

mayhugh said...

Isn't Alanis Morrisette Canadian?

rob said...

i'll take non-sequiturs for $100, alex

mayhugh said...

She sang the national anthem tonight, tiny.

rob said...

mccarver says cliff lee is a different pitcher with the phils than he was with the indians. with no explanation. i call bullshit.

rob said...

no, you misunderstand me. i was playing along with the home version of jeopardy.

Whitney said...

It's spelled "Morissette," Mayhew. You oughta know.

Marlin said...

AJ is aboutbto bleed though his pad. Get him out.

Geoff said...

Honorable mention:
Boutrous Boutrous Gali
Reuben Boumtje Boumtje

Alanis Morisette is Canadian and did date Dave Coullier and half of the 91 Maple Leafs. She will go down on you in a theatre, you oughta know.

Geoff said...

Speaking of non-sequitors, do you all share my hatred for those investment ads where they turn live actors into animation for no reason at all? I'll hang up and listen to your answers.

Geoff said...

Nick Swisher dates Joanna Garcia...worth a googling. Your wives and daughters and Swints might remember her from the short lived CW offering Privileged and a 3 episode arc on Gossip Girl.

rob said...

i quite enjoy the cartoonization of commercial actors. i'd like more people to be cartoonized.

mayhugh said...

Alanis Morisette also dated Ryan Reynolds. She outkicked her coverage there.

Joanna Garcia also played the chick with tourettes in Not Another Teen Movie.

Those commercials are poop.

Geoff said...

Rob, you should probably go suck a bag of dicks...

rob said...

those available on skymall?

Geoff said...

Yeah. You can either get the brown paper bag with them all sticking out of the top like french baguettes or the gallon freezer bag with them all vacuum packed in there like chicken tenders.

Jerry said...

I didn't get a chance to comment on my tele-kinetics gift in the previous post, but it's oddly appropriate.

Little known Jerry trivia: Junior year in HS we had to do a half day per week in a "work" environment. I chose something called the Princeton Engineering Anomalies Research Lab. Their goal was to prove that brain waves can affect tangible object. My job was to help them. So I sat in a dark room and watched a pendulum. I had to spend 15 minutes trying to make it swing further to the right, 15 to the left, and 15 doing nothing. Then I had to record the results. Then I went to Hoagie Haven and got a cheesesteak, a brownie, and a Snapple. One day I went and bought the Doggystyle tape at a "record store"

The End.

Mark said...

Jerry makes me laugh.

And Geoff steals jokes.

Marlin said...

Islanders win again.

Paci is unimpressed.

rob said...

later, george clooney portrayed young on the silver screen. pendulums were changed to goats for a number of obvious reasons.

rob said...

that should read 'young jerry'. stupid fingers.

Geoff said...

I'm available to transcribe Louis CK's whole act for a nominal fee.

Jerry said...

Islanders are damaging their draft position.

Whitney said...

It's Morissette, Maehyoo. 1 r, 2 s's, 2 t's. Isn't it ironic?

Whitney said...

TR, please respond to my email to you. Trust me.

Mark said...

Whitney, stop begging people to talk to you.

Jerry said...

Mark txt me pls!!!!!!!

Jerry said...

Matt Stairs is going to have to start working out if he wants to make an impact in that hockey league.

Shlara said...

Just got home from Springsteen @ Verizon Center.
It was awesome, of course.

And a few observations to share:

1. It's an elderly crowd. I know I'm old too, but I don't look that old, do I?

2. Bruce is in GREAT shape--he looks incredible & still runs around the stage area like he's 25. He even crowd-surfed.

3. The "requests" segment is too cool--the catalogue is so huge, they could easily do a 10 hour show of just requests and people would love it.

Totally worth the $100.

TJ said...

I'm so glad Jerry enjoyed my gift.

On another note, if I don't get a replacement blackberry soon I am going to lose my mind...sitting at home having to text some of you boobs instead of commenting here is killing me. And giving me carpal tunnel.

TR said...

The key elements of a great bowl of oatmeal are as follows:

1) Drop some raisins in there and give them a few minutes to moisten up and get juicy. If the oatmeal is hot, it can stand for 5-10 minutes without cooling off that much. That's plenty of time for the raisins.

2) A healthy dash of cinnamon.

Dan said...

as a 2-3 day/wk oatmeal consumer, brown sugar is my go-to, with the occasional banana slice topping. duly noted on the raisins. when adding brown sugar, i shriek "brown shoogar!" a la Mike and the Stones.

Dan said...

i mean mick.

TR said...

Dan - do you have a son named Declan?

Dan said...

yes - do tell.

TJ said...

So is A.J. Burnett more Kevin Brown...or Javier Vazquez? Either way, I do not want to see him on the mound again during this World Series, and if (god forbid) Girardi brings him in again I assure you he will bungle whatever situation he was brought in to fix.

TJ said...

TR showing his NAMBLA tendencies again.

Dan said...

yeah, i'm beginning to get a littler nervous.
A) how do you know my son's name?
B) why do you ask?
C) have you ever done time?

TJ said...

I'll be buying myself this for Christmas.

TR said...

My son has the same name, and I remembered you mentioning it somewhere before. I just forgot to ask. It's unusual to have two dads among a group of 20 or so folks use the same name, when that name is about the 500th most popular name. That's all.

Dan said...

copy that...yes a rare name here in the U.S. but am finding more & more peeps using it, likely b/c you and i chose to.
his handle is Declanimal - with mine being Danimal

Whitney said...

Well, you two ARE both enormous Elvis Costello fans.

TR said...

Declanimal, huh? I call mine D-bag. The wife is not a big fan of that one.

Dan said...

yes whitney...actually shot around the idea w/wife of naming him elvis, but she wasn't having it.

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