Thursday, December 07, 2006

Death to "It's Christmas Eve in Washington"

**FRIDAY MORNING UPDATE**
The ball is rolling...hat tip to Dan at DC Sports Bog for spreading the word, and now you can continue this jolly jihad by visiting the online petition. Sign early, sign often.
**FRIDAY MORNING UPDATE**

I know, you've heard the ranting before, but it's reached Gladwell's tipping point now. Those of you not in the DC Metro area have no idea the musical nightmare you are missing. "It's Christmas Eve in Washington" by Maura Sullivan is absolutely, positively the worst holiday tune of all time (amazingly, in this day of the interweb, I had a very tough time finding the artist to "credit" this song too...perhaps she wants to curl up and die every time she hears it, like me?). There can be no argument.

The insanity has to stop. You know what the #1 search is right now for GTB? Some combination of "christmas eve in washington song" and either "sucks" or "worst song ever". I need all the haters out there to band together and fight this monstrosity. I have already begged Dan at DC Sports Bog to get the word out about this plague, and I have emailed Program Director Bill Hess at 97.1 WASH FM numerous times begging him to put this tune to sleep (and put the listening public out of its misery). You should do the same (WASH FM of course is the soft rock station that begins playing Christmas songs in July).

I know you think I'm nuts, or simply an old curmudgeon, but I'll let the song speak for itself (speak = vomit syrupy sweet nothingness). If anyone can find an MP3 of this, please send it along. For now, try not to slit your wrists as you enjoy "It's Christmas Eve in Washington"...

It's snowing tonight in the Blue Ridge
There's a hush on the Chesapeake Bay
The chimneys are smoking in Georgetown,
And tomorrow is Christmas Day.

The Tidal Basin lies quiet
The tourists have found their way home
Mr. Jefferson's standing the mid-watch
And there's a star on the Capitol Dome.

It's Christmas Eve in Washington,
America's hometown
It's here that freedom lives,
And peace can stand her ground,

It's Christmas Eve in Washington
Our joyous wish to you
Is for peace, love & laughter,
To last the whole year through.

Snowmen peeking through the windows
It's warm with love inside
'Round the tree the children gather
Awaiting Santa's midnight ride.

Mom and Dad are counting their blessings,
Reflecting on all they've done
So thankful for another

Christmas Eve in Washington.

It's Christmas Eve in Washington,
America's hometown
For it's here that freedom lives,
And peace can stand her ground.

42 comments:

Whitney said...

What gets TJ up in arms always makes me chuckle.

Anonymous said...

As one of TJ's old co-workers, I've visited GTB once in a while, usually sending comments directly to TJ. I log on today to see his rant AS CHRISTMAS EVE IN WASHINGTON IS PLAYING ON THE RADIO IN OUR OFFICE! This has to stop. TJ, I'll be contacting WASH, FM, just as soon as I finish breaking Carol's radio.

rob said...

that song is now in my fucking head, you dick.

Geoff said...

The "Christmas Shoes" song is worse, in my opinion.

Anonymous said...

There's a song called "Christmas Shoes"?

TJ said...

Christmas Shoes gets in the building, no doubt, but it cannot top the awfulness that is "Christmas Eve". Mark, here's the chorus:

Sir, I want to buy these shoes for my Mama, please
It's Christmas Eve and these shoes are just her size
Could you hurry, sir, Daddy says there's not much time
You see she's been sick for quite a while
And I know these shoes would make her smile
And I want her to look beautiful if Mama meets Jesus tonight

Anonymous said...

Wow, um, I'm not quite sure what to say. So this kid is buying his near-death Mother shoes so that she'll look good when/if she meets Jesus?

I hope the shoes are six inch heels. Jesus hates flats, and prudes.

TJ said...

Oh yeah, you know what else grinds my gears? That god awful movie version of The Grinch. How dare they blaspheme a classic...

TJ said...

The post pic is of course from the holiday classic "Silent Night, Deadly Night". I hope you all have had the pleasure of catching that one, or maybe even Parts 2-5.

Anonymous said...

I've seen the original. However, much like Leprechaun, I've abstained from any viewing of sequels.

rob said...

holy fuck. gil meche got 5/$55 from the royals. jd drew is a freaking gift-wrapped steal at this winter's prices. the royals are a bunch of damn dummies.

Gracie said...

there's a movie out this year based on the Christmas Shoes song...how sweet is that? Christmas eve in washington is WAAAAAAAY worse than Shoes...plus Rob Lowe is still cute after all these years.

TJ said...

Today is the work holiday party, which means I simply need to make it through about three hours this morning...

And I will be at the Giants/Panthers game Sunday in Charlotte. I can't wait for Weinke Time.

TJ said...

I was impressed by that Notre Dame squad last night (as I was a few days ago when they beat Maryland). The uber Big East will once again have some good teams, but it's going to be a few newbies to Big East success, ND and Marquette on that list (Marquette is very good folks).

rob said...

that maryland loss doesn't look as surprising now.

how the heck do you wind up in charlotte watching 2 teams you really don't care about?

TJ said...

Got a cousin down there, and her husband invited me to the game ages ago. I think he thinks I'm a Giants fan, like the rest of my family. Quite an interesting game I lucked into.

Anonymous said...

That should be a nice game. tahtr stadium kind of blows though.

I signed the petition, even though I've never even heard the song. I was signature #3...this might take awhile.

Screw you and your holiday party, jerk.

Anonymous said...

So glad I'm not the only one! Whenever I complain about this damn song, people either: a) like it *shudder* or b) never heard it. I'm all for it being banned from the airwaves.

rob said...

you wearing your 'simspon' jersey to the game?

TJ said...

I believe that jersey will make a grand re-appearance at the Stumble. Author Simspon will be signing his book (and breasts).

TJ said...

Nice, my hatred for holiday tunes has some of the other DC bloggers coming out of the woodwork...I need to get Mr. Irrelevant and Unsilent Majority working on this too.

TJ said...

I never knew I liked egg nog...until right now...

Anonymous said...

You're drunk already?

TJ said...

It's good to see that the fans of the Panters can be as disgruntled and angry as any other sports fans. I'm not sure Dan Henning can go out in public anymore.

rob said...

i love the panters' logo. that tongue slays me.

TJ said...

Panthers fans absolutely hate Chris Gamble too, it's hilarious. Apparently, some Panthers were at the Bobcats game during the week, they showed all the payers, cheers for them...and when they showed Gamble they booed him heartily.

TJ said...

Gil Meche gets $11M/yr, and the Red Sox are only going to offer Pearl Harbor $8M/yr...what the fuck is that about?

rob said...

gil meche was a free agent. matsuzaka is not. and the offer's reportedly more like $10m/year, which is exactly what johan santana makes - who, coincidentally was not a free agent when he signed that deal.

economics is neat.

TJ said...

The sides apparently are $3 million-per-year apart. Sources have told the Boston Herald that the Red Sox's latest offer to the pitcher is six years for $8 million a year. Matsuzaka's camp, according to the Herald, has counter-offered with an $11 million request for six years.

TJ said...

Why, if this guy is supposedly THE KEY to the Red Sox offseason, would you play hardball? Explain that to me. And who cares if Gil Meche was a free agaent, you're gonna tell me you shouldn't pay PH at least the same as that bum?

rob said...

if $11m is acceptable to matsu's camp, then the deal will get done. other reports say that boras wants $15-16m/per.

and you say hardball, i say basic market dynamics. the sox paid all that money so they don't have to compete on a free market basis. they played hardball by bidding $51m.

TJ said...

Was that hard to type? Because you know damn well basic market dynamics have nothing to do with this negotiation, no matter what Theo and Larry want to think. And they know it too...the Red Sox want this guy, and cannot apply Econ 101 to this process, especially not with Scott Boras standing at the front of the room.

rob said...

no, i don't know that basic market dynamics don't apply. just because the numbers are bigger doesn't mean that the principles of the negotiation change. if the sox knew they'd have to pay free market values for matsuzaka on top of the posting fee, there's no fucking way they'd have paid $51m to negotiate with him, nor would any other team. and the fact that boras has cast-iron cojones doesn't mean he doesn't know that to be true.

Whitney said...

I absolutely agree with Rob.

This guy may or may not be the key to the Sox' offseason. He just might come over here and be an Irabu/Yoshii/Ishii; I'd hope not, for all of the fanfare, but excelling in the WBC isn't a sizeable enough proving ground that I'd shell out $51M plus Zito money on a per-year basis.

These are all unknowns; what's known?

We know that if they can't agree to a deal, and pronto, the dude goes back to Japan and spends another year in relative obscurity, wondering if he could have competed at the highest level for plenty of American greenbacks.

We know that if a deal is not struck, the dude’s team is out $51M just like that. I’m wondering what sort of homecoming celebration they’ll offer him if his (his agent’s) greed cost them a fortune.

We know that if a deal’s not struck, the Red Sox will not acquire a highly coveted pitcher that could very well help bolster their staff significantly. Of course, they’ll instantly be $51M + umpteen more millions wealthier, and it’s not as if the pitcher will have signed with a division rival. They’ll also lose some face, supposedly, but I’d say they’ll gain some credibility among those of us who think this winter’s prices are somewhere between stupid crazy and crazy stupid. Supposedly they’ve been taking aim at 2008 for a while now, anyway, so spend some of that jack on another arm, save the rest, and give agents like Boras who think they control the market a big middle finger. As well as players like this dude who believe in them.

The dude does not abide.

I’d say the Sox hold nearly all of the cards here, and I’m only surprised they’ve marched this far along in the Scott Boras Ego Parade.

rob said...

you can spend that many words on a gtb comment but you can't be bothered to show up in your own corner of the blogosphere? son, you need an attitude adjustment.

Sarah said...

I didn't think anyone could possibly hate this song as much as I do. Whenever it comes on the radio I go into a fit of rage. I'm so glad I stumbled across this blog...

Kevin said...

I LOVE THAT SONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Gregory said...

Wow. I'm new to DC and I've got to say this is the most disturbing holiday song I have ever heard... and = I come from "Dominick the Christmas Donkey" land. Is there a reason the "singer" uses vibrato the whole time? Oh, and I just heard on WASH-FM that it's the #1 requested Xmas song for them. It's gotta be all the ironic callers. That's my hope, at least...

Dean said...

I WANT TO HEAR "Christmas Eve in Washington" or download it but everytime I search I only find this blog. BAH HUM BUGH to you all- it's a great song that I have listened to since I was in 3rd grade. It's catchy, patroitic, and puts me in the holiday spirit!

chodgesnc said...

As to an available Mpeg - there's one on iTunes...performed by the Air Force band. Sad use of our brave men and women.

MaybeKathy said...

I'm heartbroken that the petition has been removed. I would have happily signed it, with my own blood if that was what was necessary to get that DAMN SONG off the radio!

I am not sure which is worse, ICEIW or Christmas Shoes. Both make me fly into an uncontrollable, homicidal rage.

MaybeKathy said...

OK, all of you people who 'want' to hear it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxODnQ_Nr80

Don't say you weren't warned!