Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Tuesday Afternoon Post

How's that for a creative title? You can find all kinds of nonsense on the internet (witness the picture to the right), and we here at G:TB are happy to provide internet searchers nothing but the best...our latest list of (possibly) satisfied searchers:

neil diamond wrote after killed drifter get an erection
It's a great bit. What can I say. And that is some fantastic sentence structure.

bo jackson barehanded catch
How in the world can there not be a clip of this on the web?

susan clements + moose jaw
I have no freaking clue what this is, but it sounds dirty and could easily have a definition in the urban dictionary.

dwight howard blog
No, no, sorry, you're got the wrong NBA big man. You're looking for the blog with the Magic logo and Jesus fish.

here comes the rooster sabbath
Mersh, you gotta lay off the pipe, man - that song is done by Alice in Chains.

zamfir concert 2008 ny
This one makes no sense at all. It's Pan Flute mania at G:TB.

canadian equivalent to live-aid
Well, I'll be damned, Whitneypedia finally proved useful.

follicular clampdown
Hey, if we can become the internet's #1 source for "follicular clampdown" knowledge, I'll be satisfied.

valentina gaylord family
I have no clue who that family is, but I'm willing to bet G:TB spit out some rock solid Mitch Gaylord info for this searcher. Well done Rhymo, you male gymnast-loving homo.

todd bouman
Mark, I know that's you.

who was charlie when o.j. killed nicole
Boy have you come to the right place...

melissa stark gang
Gang...what? Am I the only one who thinks that search ended a word short?

Dustin Pedroia height contrversy
rob is blushing.

Alfonso Ribeiro shirtless
God damn you Whitney.

cameltoe olimpics 2008
Spelling is overrated obviously. Just give the man (or, perhaps, woman) the damn cameltoe they so desperately want. And none of that vintage cameltoe either - it needs to be fresh 2008 'toe.

its christmas eve in washington
My hate for this song is well documented. For those that say I'm overreacting, go here...and wait for this tune. "But TJ", you say, "it's October 28th. There won't be any christmas songs on yet"....ah, Kato, my little yellow friend, you are dead wrong. Butt trifling 97.1 WASH FM started playing holiday tunes LAST WEEK. And you wonder why I want to firebomb the station?

merry christmas kiss my ass kiss his ass kiss your ass
Here's looking at you WASH FM Program Director.

"kansas city tornadoes" team
I guess someone other than Michael Jack is a fan of this team name. I'm still partial to the Blazing Saddles-themed Kansas City club, but somehow I don't think that's making it by the censors.

what does "click clack" mean
At some point we really need to recive a check from Under Armour...or at least a free tee that will cling to my man boobs.

jeff garcia noodle arm
My favortie search term of this entire post.

she has a lazy eye
Survey says...Katie Holmes.

See Mark, there is a huge demand for all that Florida-based crap I send you daily, about horrendous parenting, electoral fraud, meth day care centers, etcetera etcetera...

dan the man going to work got his tie got ambision
Best. Commerical. Ever. But who the hell spells ambition like that? And it's Glen going to work dear ghoogler, not Dan.

Follow me! Follow me to freedom!
Or is this the best commercial ever?


rob said...

there's no way anyone searched for 'follicular clampdown'

TJ said...

Well, that's what site meter told me...hell, it was probably one of us.

rob said...

that's pretty much guaranteed.

skins are giving 2.5 to the stillers. not sure how i feel about that.

TJ said...

At FedEx, yes? Well, as the Giants and Eagles have proven, you get to Ben enough and you win. So maybe Jason Taylor can show up this week for you.

rob said...

i believe he's already been ruled out.

TJ said...

Well then, perhaps someone from the Golston/Carter/Griffin/Montgomery crew can wreck some havoc for your fellas.

Geoff said...

The Bo Jackson searcher doesn't know he's actually looking for Kevin Mitchell.

And the Redskins have a strict and storied policy of not generating a pass rush.

Geoff said...

And where I shop, the Skins are between a 1 and 1.5 point fave.

TJ said...

That raises a good point...we need to be using the same lines for our heated competition - USA Today I believe we said?

rob said...

usa today on which day? these lines, they are a-changing.

Mark said...

Todd Bouman's due for a column, as am I for a ridiculous Florida post.

Also, it seems I'm G:TB's go to source for QB knowledge, as I opined on Garcia's noodle arm in my Friday pick.

TJ said...

Bigger noodle arm: Garcia or Chaz Sexington?

TJ said...

By the way, there is no debate what the right answer is to that question.

Mark said...

I'm glad you followed that first comment up because its not close. Steve Walsh thinks Chad's arm is weak.

Rhymenocerous said...

I take credit for the camel-toe and Melissa Starks mentions...and little else.

Mark said...

I've gotta say that I'm a little disappointed that nobody searched anything related to getting high on electronic duster. My work, it seems, is never done.

TJ said...

That episode of Intervention was on again last night...it is horrifying.

Mark said...

So you finally saw it...it is completely mesmerizing.

Mark said...

Regularly watching Intervention has convinced me to never, ever have children.

TJ said...

Eddy, you're a fat waste of life...why would you be remotely stunned by being benched?

"Definitely stunned, especially being that [D'Antoni] didn't tell me that," Curry said Tuesday. "I haven't talked to him. I'm here with him every day. All he has to do is tell me. I'm definitely stunned to hear that."

Whitney said...

I can take credit for "Olimpics"... I'm still amused at/embarrassed of myself for that one.

Mark said...

I've got to admit, I'm kind of happy that there's not a World Series game tonight to get in the way of NBA opening night.

TJ said...

Paul Pierce is an emotional mess right now.

Mark said...

And um...Paul Pierce is crying like a baby right now...and its pretty cool.

Zoltan said...

ESPN is showing two teens play Madden in front of a throng of over-excited kids. WTF?

Shlara said...

Reggie needs a really bad hairpiece to fit in with Fratello and Marv on this TV crew.

Greg said...

It's like I'm walking on sunshine!!!

Greg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TJ said...

Greg, did you just drop some acid?

Mark said...

So Shlara watches semi-meaningless NBA games in October?

I've never even met this woman...and I think I'm love.

Shlara said...

Meaningless??? It's opening night! Practically a holiday! I'm just distraught that I was still at work and missed Paul Pierce crying and the banner being raised.

Mark said...

I said semi-meaningless and, truthfully, I only said that because thats how 95% of sports fans feel.

You're not helping things over here lady...

Dave said...

i just googled "follicular clampdown." gheorghe is the number 1 result! bye the way, does everyone still have a job out there in the real world? i feel a little isolated . . .