Monday, October 27, 2008

The Fall Guy

Reading about other people's college homecomings and their overlarge share of inside jokes, heroically inflated memories, and maudlin remember-whenisms is a vastly overrated thing. So I'll spare you most of the retelling of (4/7ths of) Team G:TB's trip to Williamsburg, VA.

There was, however, a singular element of the weekend that must be recounted in an effort to save the masses from repeating our mistake. In this case, that mistake is now almost 20 years old. To wit, don't make friends with swarthy black Irishmen named Gus. At least if you value your physical being.

The latest installment in an ongoing lesson in inadvisable ideas that are a lot funnier after the fact? A seemingly harmless-sounding shot of tequila, accompanied by salt and lime. Innocuous, no? We've all downed more of Jose Cuervo's elixir than we'd probably care to admit to our parents and employers, I'm sure, and to no real harm. Lick the salt, drink the shot, suck the lime. Easy, peasy.

Change the name of the shot to The Stuntman, keep the order the same but the orifices different and you've got a recipe for moronic disaster. As in, snort the salt (rock salt, not that sissy Morton's crystals stuff) into your nose, drink the shot, squeeze the lime into your eye. Commence laughing and crying until near-vomit with the 6-8 like-minded idiots in your midst. Do not repeat.

And that's...one to grow on.

21 comments:

rob said...

might have been lemon. it's all a bit fuzzy.

Geoff said...

There's been an odd Lee Majors theme on G:TB lately.

TJ said...

He'll be guest posting next month.

Shlara said...

Thank God I left before this episode...

rob said...

yes, you made a wise and reasoned decision.

TJ said...

Shlara, I too lucked out, having left to secure tables at College five minutes before this fiasco occurred...then again, it was 110 fucking degrees in College so I was pretty miserable myself.

Shlara said...

You had to save tables?? I thought the kids are even nerdier now than when we were there. I didn't realize that they still frequent the College Delly. I'm so glad to hear that there are normal kids in the Burg these days.

Or, were you just fighting other alums for tables?

TJ said...

As it turned out, I was fighting nobody...the difference in crowds between the Leafe and College were night and day.

Mark said...

So...nobody wants to give me credit for keeping G:TB afloat in our competition with the Wheelhosers?

Fine. Fuck you all.

TJ said...

Mark: 2-0
rob and Rhymo: 0-3
Me, Dennis, Whit: Useless

TJ said...

Attaboy Ty, way to hang in there:

SEATTLE -- Washington coach Tyrone Willingham said Monday he will step down at the end of the 2008 season.

rob said...

i think, technically, i may have been 0-1-1, depending upon how teejay's negotiations with geoff went.

TJ said...

I failed to mention to Geoffrey that you and Jerry used different lines for the Cards/Panthers game...

rob said...

well that's just fucking great.

Mark said...

There's no need to swear Robert.

rob said...

awl

TJ said...

Evan Longoria, so nice of you to show up this World Series.

TJ said...

Who allowed Jay Mohr to be back on TV?

rob said...

what a miserable night to watch a baseball game. serves philadelphians right.

TJ said...

Stop this game.

TJ said...

Seriously, they're going to keep playing in this? Typical asinine MLB decision.