Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Ceai Complet: May 21, 2008

Sometimes they just write themselves...which is good, because I sure as hell can't write 'em:
Mexican donkey jailed for ornery behavior

TUXTLA GUTIERREZ, Mexico (AP) - A donkey is doing time in southern Mexico for assault and battery.

The animal was locked up at a local jail that normally holds people for public drunkenness and other disturbances after it bit and kicked two men near a ranch in Chiapas state, police said Monday.

Officer Sinar Gomez said the donkey will remain behind bars until its owner agrees to pay the men's medical bills. "Around here, if someone commits a crime they are jailed," Gomez said - "no matter who they are."

The owner, Mauro Gutierrez, told The Associated Press he would try to reach a friendly arrangement to pay the men's bills, estimated at US$420 (euro270).

The victims said the donkey bit Genaro Vazquez, 63, in the chest on Sunday and then kicked 52-year-old Andres Hernandez as he tried to come to the rescue, fracturing his ankle. "All of a sudden, the animal was on top of us like it was rabid," Hernandez said. Police said it took a half-dozen men to control the enraged burro.

Chiapas police have thrown animals in the slammer before, including a bull that devoured corn crops and destroyed two wooden vending stands in March. In 2006, a dog was locked up for 12 days after biting someone. His owners were fined US$18.
This might be my favorite "contrived morning post concept", er, Ceai Complet, yet.

19 comments:

TJ said...

I really do hope the Knicks take this guy - "Hey, I knew your dad...we're taking you with the 6th pick":

Danilo Gallinari

The skinny: Rose was the Knicks' primary target, but with Gallinari, new head coach Mike D'Antoni lands the perfect weapon for his new team: a 6-10 point forward who knows how to think the game. D'Antoni played with Gallinari's father in the Italian League for eight years and knows how good the versatile Italian forward really is.

rob said...

shawn kemp's former teammates will have an embarrassment of riches in a few years.

and you say, "contrived morning post concept", i say "brilliant concept for instilling basic discipline". you're most likely right.

Rhymenocerous said...

The Knicks have had good luck drafting European big men, so this should be a no-brainer..

Greg said...

Frederic Weis, Maciej Lampe.....this should go well.

rob said...

is mark gonna be live-blogging the chelsea/man u game today?

TJ said...

Can someone explain to me what this match is exactly? I know (sort of) who the two teams are, but why is this a bigger deal than usual?

rob said...

it's the european club championship, or at least the most prominent one.

Mark said...

I hadn't thought of live blogging it Rob, but what the hell...I'm in.

Geoff said...

Are you going to live blog in "real time" or in some sort of fakey made-up time? I'll hang up an listen to your answer.

Mark said...

Geoff-- I plan on blogging over at D&S in "real" time, which is to say while I'm sitting on my couch watching the game. Feel the excitement.

Mark said...

Josh Hamilton just said that "he had a dream about being in the HR Derby" recently and in it, after he had finished taking his swings, "he was able to speak to the fans about Jesus and Go'd role in his life." Okay then, you can count me as decidely against seeing Hamilton in the HR Derby. I'm sure we'll live without a crackhead preaching to us about Jesus.

Sometimes I wish I lived in the 5Os/6os when athletes thanked cigarette and booze companies after victory instead of constantly hitting us over the head with religion...

TJ said...

That crazy leprechaun futbol announcer Timmy Smith was on First Take not too long ago, and it looked to me like he was wearing Stalin's hat.

Greg said...

I had a dream where I lead tours into the jungle where people could see a special community of "library monkeys". What people would do is throw books at the monkeys and if the monkeys didn't already have the book in their library, they would keep it. If they had it, it would be thrown back. One book per person. And the people whose books they kept felt cooler than the ones whose books were thrown back.


True story.

Mark said...

Greg is sooo much cooler than Josh Hamilton.

Oh yeah, Greg, I was wrong about Derryl. He has 5 kids, all boys under the age of 11. Yikes.

Geoff said...

I had a dream two nights ago that I was at a wedding with a random former female co-worker and that she dragged me into the women's bathroom to tell me that she was dumping me as her date because I was such a bad dancer.

I woke up angry and confused...as TJ does every morning...

TJ said...

...and hungry. Don't forget hungry.

TJ said...

Hey Mark, doesn't this soccer "match" start soon...shouldn't you be prepping for your "live-blog".

Mark said...

I'm ready buddy. Oh, I'm ready.

Mark said...

Everybody all tuckered out from the UEFA Final? Yeah, me too. Anyway, this excerpt from Simmons' Ramblings got me:

(About Josh Howard):

How many times do you think he toked up with a teammate, then fell over in hysterics imitating Avery Johnson's voice?