I just caught this story on espn.com, and it pissed me off to no end. Does the MLBPA really not understand why guys like Barry Bonds are unemployed? Let Gheorghe help you out, MLBPA general counsel Michael Weiner (how appropriate) - here are the 7 guys listed in the sidebar...why don't we help Mr. Weiner (chuckle) understand why these dinosaurs are jobless (here's a hint Weiner...I'll give you three letters..."P", "E" and "D"):Barry Bonds - I'm going to have to restrain myself from using this phrase 6 more times, but are you fucking kidding me? Who in God's name wants to bring this surly cheat into their locker room? Forget that the guy could be going to federal pound you in the ass prison any day now...he's a horrendous teammate and a media tsunami. You think he would be a positive influence on the young Rays? Marlboro Man Leyland doesn't even want to go near him. Come on...the guy's unemployable because he's the second most deplorable person on the face of the earth (for anyone who knows me, you know who #1 is). Let's just move on before I overnight this letter bomb to Mr. Weiner.
Roger Clemens - Is the MLBPA serious? You're joking me, right? I can't even address this. Instead, I will direct you to Tim Keown's archives, where has written not one, not two, but three fantastic Clemens rip jobs over the last few months (I'd link you to Lupica's column from the other day but I despise that Fraggle).
Jose Mesa - Ah, Joe Table. He of the 7.11 ERA and 1.54 WHIP last year. Gee, I have no idea why someone wouldn't want this rapist in their bullpen. I also found it comical he got to be on MLBPA's list of "big-time players who haven't gotten a major league contract this season". I'm sorry, Jose Mesa is a big-name?
Mike Piazza - Old. As. Dirt. Probably a juicer as well. If the home of aging DHs, Oakland, doesn't want you around, there's gotta be a reason.
Sammy Sosa - Failure to speak English has probably limited his contract negotiations. And maybe they are blackballing him, but I don't give a shit. But at least he left a positive legacy for the youth of America (or, er, Korea).
David Wells - Can't push himself away from the table long enough to talk deal. 5.43 ERA and 1.54 WHIP last year - gave up 201 hits in 157 IP. Sucks donkey balls. Need me to create a sucktitude chart for you Mr. Weiner?
Kenny Lofton - OK, this might be the only truly employable guy on this list. In fact, he'll probably be on someone's team after the All-Star Break. So great job MLBPA...you're 1 for 7. You're the Chris Burke of players association complainers.
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22 comments:
I actually think Billy Beane would take Bonds in a heartbeat if he didn't have an owner/PR machine to answer to....sickening OPS, dude. It was also rumored that Bonds was only looking for the league minimum for a short time, but owners were skirred anyway. As much as I hate to say it, he has a legit case. I mean, he's never been PROVEN to have done anything, and he's the best hitter of all time. Why doesn't he have a job? The MLBPA exists for reasons such as this...those dicks.
Don't worry, I promise not to stand too close to you gentlemen for when the lightening strikes.
Dennis, why don't you meet me around back...yeah, right over there in the shadows...perfect...
i believe that God is capitalized, but other than that, good show, lad.
Oh man, don't let PETA hear about this:
NEW YORK, May 6 (UPI) -- Residents of a New York neighborhood say a box turtle that has long roamed through their yards was painted orange by construction workers.
that's a news story? that's a freaking news story? sorry, dead myanmarese, we've got turtles to cover. you're dead anyway - what do you care?
myanmarites?
myanmarians?
myanbobbymcgee?
1. It hardly matters that Bonds hasn't been proven guilty. Ask OJ how good for business not being proven guilty can be.
2. No need to pile on Piazza, Teej. He's a good egg by all accounts.
3. My god doesn't care whether or not I capitalize his (or her) name, all that matters is that I treat my fellow people with deep respect and utter ridicule.
4. Are you there, God? It's Myanmargaret.
5. (Norfolk's own) PETA is far too busy trying to suspend jockeys to worry about that turtle. (Score one point for yourself if an image of cotton briefs with suspenders attached; it's the latest trend in non-slip undergarments.)
OK, Whit's myanmar joke actually drew an audible chuckle...sad, but true.
myanmamyanmamyanmyfriends.
Moons Over Myan-mi?
Without looking, can you name the (two) worst teams in baseball? They have matching 12-21 records.
I was quite surprised when I saw this.
No Jose Canseco?
seattle and san diego?
San Diego and Colorado...nice NL West.
Yeah, the MLBPA is insane! How can they be standing up for players like that? It's not like it's their, um, job to do so or anything. Not even half of the guys on the list are juicers (3 for 7). This is weaker than a Reggie Miller slam dunk attempt.
glad to have you aboard, mr. fehr. say hi to the wife and kids for us.
Standing up for the players is one thing. Throwing out the word "collusion" is a rather serious step or 10 beyond that.
And needing an official investigation into why these black sheep, bad seeds, and wash-ups might remain unsigned is the one-part-ignorance, one-part-arrogance cocktail that the MLBPA keeps guzzling -- and what keeps the general public from ever sympathizing with their cause.
I actually got a chuckle out of MCB's reply to rob, which he took down (Fear of the Gheorghe I presume), but I liked it, so here it is:
It's "The Don" to you, rob.
You can't slip one by TJ!
Unless by "one" you mean "one year of college."
or "the bowl"
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