Friday, May 30, 2008

Ceai Complet: May 30, 2008

We almost had another Darwin Award winner...

What. A. Moron.
Man uses gun for backscratcher, shoots himself

A Fort Worth man trying to scratch an itch on his back used a revolver and accidentally shot himself. Jorge Espinal, 44, was drinking beer and playing poker around 3 a.m. Sunday in his home in the 3500 block of Montague Street, when he got up from the table and walked into another room, said Fort Worth police Lt. Kenneth Dean.

“He told officers he had an itch on his back and grabbed the first thing he could get a hold of, which was a revolver,” Lt. Dean said. “The gun went off."

Mr. Espinal went back and told his buddies that he shot himself. “They didn’t believe him until they saw the blood coming down his back,” Lt. Dean said. Mr. Espinal was taken to an area hospital, where he was treated and released with non-life-threatening injuries.

25 comments:

TJ said...

I've given Ryan Langerhans a lot of shit in this space, mainly because he's one of the 5 worst hitters in baseball, but the catch he made last night against San Diego was amazing. I have yet to find video of it, but this picture might give you some indication of how absurd it was.

Zoltan said...

The "Sex and the City" movie comes out tonight, so there will be gaggles of 30+ year old women slugging down cosmos and tramping around urban areas tonight. Plan accordingly.

Greg said...

I've got my cougar-hunting night-vision-beer-goggles all set.

rob said...

be careful out there, greg. they'll be roaming in packs.

TJ said...

And Greg will do it from the back...

Mark said...

Just six minutes until the Scripps National Spelling Bee. Get psyched...

Rhymenocerous said...

Tangentially related to the Spelling Bee, I have to say something about the "sideline" reporter for this event.

It may be sacrilege to type this amongst the group-think pervading the sports blogosphere, but I'm just not that into Erin Andrews. She's a good looking girl with a nice rack, but people act like she's on par with Jessica Alba.

The perpetual fawning over her from the Sports Guy, Deadspin and others is a bit over the top.

I prefer to ogle Melissa Stark. You, Erin, are no Melissa Stark.

Geoff said...

I strenuously object.

rob said...

erin's got the girl-next-door, good to hang out with kinda vibe. melissa always struck me as higher-maintenance. and after nearly 9 years of marriage, i can speak eloquently to the value of low maintenance. i'm a very lucky man.

rob said...

also, the nice rack helps.

TJ said...

I actually like MASN's Amber Theoharis...

Mark said...

I agree Rhyme. Andrews is nice and being a Florida grad doesn't hurt, but she's become vastly overrated.

Geoff said...

You know what's underrated? Mark's stupidity.

Mark said...

You haven't been paying attention Geoff. My stupidity is well renowned...and your hateful jabs at me don't fool anybody. They all know you love me.

TJ said...

Looks like we might have another Left Eye Lopes-type situation brewing:

GARDEN CITY, N.Y. -- A multimillion-dollar Long Island home at the center of a dispute between Grammy-nominated rapper 50 Cent and his former girlfriend was destroyed by a supicious fire early Friday.

Rhymenocerous said...

Overrated is probaby the best word to use, Mark.

However, Danica Patrick may be owning that word soon. She may be the most overrated woman on the face of the planet.

TJ said...

Yep

Mark said...

Just when I think I can't hate the WNBA anymore, they trot out this "Superwoman" song/commercial that gets stuck in my head all day. Can't we just all agree that the NBA gave it a good try but nobody fucking cares about Women's basketball?

rob said...

it's all part of the long tail, mark. you and i don't give a flying fuck, but there are enough that do.

rob said...

chris cooley's gotta be one of the top 5 gheorghiest active athletes, right?

http://misterirrelevant.com/index.php/2008/05/28/chris-cooleys-wedding-looks-like-fun/

Mark said...

Anybody notice that Geoff didn't respond to my assertion that he loved me? Its okay Geoff, you don't have to admit it. We all know you GOP colleagues wouldn't accept your friendship with a tattooed, bearded, left winger like myself.

We'll keep it quiet.

rob said...

the log cabin republicans might well approve. hmmmm.

Geoff said...

Mark...I apologize for not responding. I was in something called a "meeting"--I don't know if you guys have those at the Melbourne Blockbuster or not. It's most similar to what you would call a "sesh" or "session" except no one towels the door and there's minimal Pink Floyd.

Mark said...

A "meeting" huh? Nope not real familiar with those. And, for the record, I don't work for the corporate pigs at Blockbuster. I work at the Video Shack. We're much more artsy and feature many more indie films. Plus, we have a porno section.

TJ said...

"Yeah, hello, this is RST Video, customer number 4352, I need to place an order. Okay, I need one each of the following tapes: "Whispers in the Wind", "To Each His Own", "Put It Where It Doesn't Belong", "My Pipes Need Cleaning", "All Tit-Fucking Volume 8", "I Need Your Cock", "Ass-Worshipping Rim-Jobbers", "My Cunt Needs Shafts", "Cum Clean", "Cum-Gargling Naked Sluts", "Cum Buns III", "Cumming in Socks", "Cum On Eileen", "Huge Black Cocks and Pearly White Cum", "Girls Who Crave Cock", "Girls Who Crave Cunt", "Men Alone II: the KY Connection", "Pink Pussy Lips", and, uh, oh yeah, "All Holes Filled with Hard Cock". Uh-huh... yeah... Oh, wait, and, what was that called again?"