Friday, August 30, 2013

Danimal vs. Mark: CFB "To The Pain" Weekly Pick 'Em

"First things first, to the death."
"No. To the pain."
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Mark and Danimal, considering themselves some sort of college football gambling savants, have decided they want to do a weekly college pick 'em post. Who are we to turn down content, so what the hell...when will we ever be in Haiti again? Let's jump right in with the Week 1 picks:

First up, Winchester's finest, whose refusal to follow the rules laid out to him by myself and the diminutive dictator mean we need to post this before Friday night's action. Thanks, Danimal, you big jerk...

W&M + 32 at WVU
At the time of this selection, Thursday at noonish, the line on the W&M/WVU game is at 32. I really want to bet W&M. I hope they make it a game, but at 32…. I. Jes. Cah. Dew’h Capn! 35.5, sure. Despite the shitshow that is Dana Holgorson and all that comes with it, I have to go with the ‘eers. I think there is a great chance I will regret this. As of just the other day, the guy wasn’t even sure who he was going to start at QB. He said he doesn’t know who his team is yet. Throw in the fact they lost I don’t know, 40 points a game with the loss of Geno? Yeah, sure, I’ll take West Virginia.



Texas Tech -4.5 at SMU
I know virtually nothing about either of these teams but I think highly of June Jones. It’s a big home opener for the ‘Stangs with two relatively high-scoring teams. This is one of those quick-look gut bets that does wonders for a bookie’s income. A home dog with imo a better coach and a home opener….I am compelled to take SMU.

Temple +29.5 at ND
This is torturous. Whatever wagering “strategy” I take with the Irish each year, I lose. Pre 2012, I was almost always betting on ND against the spread. Last year, I did the opposite…. Both were poor decisions. Last year I didn’t care though b/c they were winning.
Here’s the dillio. I like Tommy Rees. Notre Dame is very fortunate that he is the go-to guy after Golson’s temporary vacation (he’s been suspended for the semester for “poor academic judgment”) You may not realize this, but Rees played in 11 of their games last year and if it weren’t for him, they likely would have lost 2-3 games prior to getting sodomized in South Beach. Their wins against Purdue, Stanford, and Michigan had a whole bunch to do with Tommy coming in as a relief guy to get moving what Everett couldn’t. He’s 14-4 as a starter. He’s a senior this year with some pretty impressive stats – 2nd all-time completion %’age in a season (65.5%); in 2011 he completed 135 consecutive passes without an INT, ironically; if he were to end his career today, he’d be the all-time completion percentage leader at ND. And no, that does NOT include the completions he has thrown to defenders. On the flip side, this same guy threw fourteen (14) INT’s during his 2011 season. I’m trying to remember how many times were in the red zone - it was somewhere between A LOT and WHY IS HE STILL PLAYING. It wasn’t less than 6 for sure and possibly as many as 8. He fumbled the ball 5 times. He was personally responsible for 19 turnovers. N-N-N-N-Nineteen. Nineteen. Somewhat in his defense, he was sacked 13 times and was rushed at least a bazillion. His decision making was let’s say, poor.
My stance at the beginning here was that until Tommy proves me wrong, he will keep the “Turnover” moniker and thus I can’t bet on him/them. But I talked myself out of it. Tommy is going to have a terrific game. He’s all growed up. Plus he has a top-5 defense, a solid receiving corp, and oh yeah, they’re playing Temple. Temple scores a trash touchdown at the end to lose 49-10.
No, no, no. Go with initial instinct. Make him prove you wrong! Remember Tulsa? South Florida? or was it Central Florida? How about the bowl game against FSU? Stinky. They will likely lose the turnover battle. Lose it by 1 and that’s possibly a 10-14 point swing. Ten points equals Temple covering!
Fuck that…it’s TEMPLE! They could lose the turnover battle by 3 but it won’t matter because Temple will not score more than 10 points!
Irish – 42-10. Final final.



And now on to the tattooed one's selections. See Danimal, your combatant actually picked all Saturday games. Thanks for coloring between the lines, Mark.

Toledo (+23.5) over Florida: I don't bet on Florida games. I'm already too invested in the result of a Gator Football game without having money riding on it. And I'd feel dirty if I bet against Florida. That doesn't mean you should feel bad about betting against my alma mater here. I've already expressed some of my concerns with the Gator offense in the G:TB comments but to sum it up, they're missing two starting OLineman and the only experienced tailback. Not a good recipe for any offense, much less one that wants to rely heavily on the running game. On top of that, Toledo returns 9 of 11 starters on offense, including a senior QB who threw for nearly 2,700 yards last year and a tailback that rushed for almost 1500 yards. I don't expect the Rockets to win, but I do expect this game to be fairly close late. Take the Rockets and those 23.5 points and make some drinking money for yourself.


Boise State (+3.5) at Washington: Washington just finished a multi-million dollar renovation project on Husky Stadium, which was already one of the most unique settings in college football. Now, its state of the art and unique. More importantly, Steve Sarkisian has the Washington Football program headed back towards the top of a suddenly very competitive and strong PAC-10 (the second best conference in the nation this year, in my opinion). After struggling to live up to lofty expectations last year, I expect both Washington and QB Keith Price to enjoy success this season. I just don't think they beat Boise in this spot. Boise and Chris Peterson live for these types of showcase games. And they don't get many chances at them. This is the game I'm most excited about on Saturday, which is too bad because there's a 99% chance I'll be hammered by the time this thing kicks off at 10 PM EST. I doubt I'll see the end of this one but I'll take Boise and the points.




Virginia Tech vs. Alabama: (-21): 21 points is a lot of points to lay for a neutral site game between two well known college football programs. That's not nearly enough to scare me off from Alabama. Alabama has been a wrecking ball in these season opening neutral site games. The Crimson Tide also have to best QB they've ever had under Nick Saban and the best collection of skill position players since they could trot out Mark Ingram, Trent Richardson and Julio Jones at the same time. In terms of depth, you could make the case that this group is even better. On the other side, Virginia Tech has never been known for their wide open offensive style. And while Logan Thomas has every physical tool you could ever ask for in a QB, he's not very good at actually playing QB. Alabama rolls.
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76 comments:

rob said...

alabama rolls, slightly less well known than alabama shakes. both the truth.

rob said...

who's in charge of tabulating and compiling the 'to the pain' results? #notit

T.J. said...

no chance

Danimal said...

I got it.

Danimal said...

I had to get a new phone today. I can't post comments here on the Gheorghe. WUWT?

zman said...

Did you get a Motorola Razr?

Danimal said...

Star Tac

Mark said...

A pink Motorola Razor?

Mark said...

In phone news, I just made a line from an Action Bronson song my text message alert.

Danimal said...

High scoring this is not.

zman said...

Which line from which song? Did you see Bam Bam featured on grantland?

Mark said...

I did. I havent read it yet though.

'I'm 'bout to an Alligator for my birthday.'

rob said...

danimal's off to a running start

zman said...

Lleyton Hewitt looked like shit in the second and third sets against del Potro so I stopped watching. Hewitt won in five. The moral: anything can happen any time two former Open champs play at the Open.

Dave said...

so happy i could ID that movie quote.

T.J. said...

Fucking football Ssturday!!!!!!

rob said...

i know, right? hull city gave man city a battle!

T.J. said...

Fffff uuuuuu

Mark said...

The debut album from Cypress Hill is still great after all these years.

T.J. said...

Zoltan Mesko has been cut. Noooooo


Also that Tebow guy, but fuck him

Mark said...

That ruins the best fantasy team name I've heard this year 'Panic at the Zoltan Mesko!'

Picking up a pound of pulled pork. It's about that time.

Mark said...

This one's for you, Louchiez.

T.J. said...

Tribe's defense just got abused on the first WVU drive. not a good sign

T.J. said...

tribe workin' it now. this is fun.

Mr KQ said...

Nice play by Graham. Typical Motown choke job FFS.

T.J. said...

I just introduced the world of twitter to the Tribe's awful mascot...and people are stunned

Danimal said...

Received a pic from fogtb Buckles posing with wvu mascot. Tribe lookin good. Danimal off to a slow start this season. Fortunately didn't put dollahs on these heh Johnny?

T.J. said...

17-7 Tribe at the half. fuck yeah

Mark said...

In his defense, Dana Holgorsen is really, really hungover.

mayhugh said...

Tribe needs another turnover or three this half

T.J. said...

WVU ground game punishing us to start 2nd half

T.J. said...

that was huge, holding them to three on that drive

Jerry said...

Chris Simms is already a better announcer than Phil.

Jerry said...

It's time to start paying Tre McBride for autographs.

T.J. said...

that's Chris Simms????

Jerry said...

Yup - when he becomes famous, we'll be able to say we saw his first game (if this is really his first game).

Jerry said...

Florida has a guy named Valdez Showers? Wooow

T.J. said...

RB dude on WVU's first name is "Dreamius"

Jerry said...

I haven't watched any of the Gators game, but based on the box score I renew my annual complaint (or whatever is stronger than compliant) about their lack of explosive WRs. Since Harvin left, Rutgers has had multiple guys who would've been the best Florida WR during that period. At least 3, maybe more. Rutgers. Florida.

Mark said...

Florida has two true freshman WRs who are already playing and should become impact guys. Until then its a bunch okay to good WRs.

The offense has been okay. Driskel has been efficient (aside from two fumbles, one lost) but not explosive. It's progress.

Valdez Showers and Louchiez Purifoy were in the same recruiting class. Urban Meyer wasn't all bad.

Clarence said...

WVU punter booted it 60 yards. Tribe's kicked it 31. Makes a difference.

T.J. said...

tale of two halves. WVU ground game has punished Tribe in second half.

T.J. said...

what a fucking frustrating half of football. god dammit

rob said...

poop

Jerry said...

This kind of thing is always going to happen in the 2nd half. We need a lot of breaks to win these games - got a few, but not enough.

Also a passing game that inspires enough confidence for Jimmye to use it when we were winning would've helped.

Danimal said...

Hi

Danimal said...

First comment with new phone.
Was that alex flanagan that just got pummeled

zman said...

"Valdez Showers and Louchiez Purifoy"? You made those names up, right?

Mark said...

Alabama.

Mark said...

Tito Sunseri watches a lot of film.

Mark said...

And, you know I'm not that smart, Z.

Mark said...

Beamer Ball.

zman said...

Camila Giorgi. Thank god for the tennis channel.

Mark said...

Alabama doesnt look that great offensively. Good think Virginia Tech is awful.

Danimal said...

An 0-3 start is not what I was hoping for. On the positive I am only 0-1 on money games.
Too bad about tribe game...I think wvu is in for a long season.

Mark said...

I've got back and forth on this UGA-Clemson game. Think I'll go with Clemson, against my better judgment, UGA is just too young on D.

Mark said...

I'm an idiot for not betting on Petrino against Kentucky.

Danimal said...

I look forward to the first bama game on abc with Brent in the booth. Awkwaaaard!

Mark said...

I'm not an Aaron Murray guy. Not even close.

rob said...

tide not exactly rolling. more like just beating on inexorably.

Danimal said...

What was the line on the Kentucky game Mark? Sorry to interrupt your nacho eating.

Mark said...

WKU +5. My pulled pork nachos were delicious.

Mark said...

Big day for directional schools. Western Kentucky. Eastern Washington.

Clarence said...

Danimal was 0 for 3? A good place to lose bets.

Clarence said...

Hey Gheorghies -- just checking in after a long day on the beach in VB. Lots of skin, plenty of hideous ink. One pair of C+ boobs popping out in the waves. Good day.

rob said...

this georgia/clemson game.

doesn't have boobs, but is plenty entertaining.

Mark said...

This game is fun. Aaron Murray is not my QB. And i'm good with that.

rob said...

so clemson's gonna win this, huh?

zman said...

This recurring feature needs a Meth vs. Chef tag.

Danimal said...

Kim Jong Il...have ya read about his latest?

rob said...

chef?

danimal, you mean having his ex-girlfriend publicly executed? that's...something.

Mark said...

It's a track on Method Man's debut album, Rob. Put on one of your two hoodies and get with it.

Mark said...

I have my big $ fantasy draft today. It's at a bar and starts at noon. So I'll be drunk in the afternoon for the end straight day. God bless America.

Mark said...

Second not end.

Clarence said...

About to take my second nap of the day so far.

Happy Labor Day. (Or what Mr. Skin calls it.)

amanda young said...

Good god I literally said every word of this scene along with Westley. What is my life??? Oh that's right, my life is awesome. Amanda Vanderpool