Friday, August 16, 2013

What an AWFUL idea

Below is something even dumber (and more permanent) than a Jump To Conclusions mat. If real, this dude is one of the bigger idiots on the planet:


[h/t boing boing, via Squeaky]

98 comments:

Mark said...

That's pretty stupid. The tattoo work itself is exceptional though.

rob said...

worst male pattern baldness ever

Jerry said...

How about people come up with something that just fucking grows hair on the top your head. We put a man on the damn moon like 40 years ago.

rob said...

that man is now bald, though

zman said...

This kid will be completely unemployable once he starts thinning out on top.

TR said...

The world needs ditch-diggers too...

Greg said...

And carnies

Mark said...

Small hands, smells like cabbage.

Clarence said...

Why is AN capitalized in the title? I don't get it.

rob said...

shouldn't 'awful' be capitalized?

rob said...

i don't know much about capitalization, though, to be sure.

T.J. said...

Yep

zman said...

United Airline is awful. I think they gives bonuses to employees for being abrasive.

rob said...

best headline ever?

Russell Simmons Apologizes For Harriet Tubman Sex Tape

best headline ever.

Greg said...

I bet she was a demon in the sack

rob said...

bet she gave him the old underground railroad. if you know what i'm saying.

zman said...

Follow the north star. To the brown star.

TR said...

I have no issue with United. But I do have elite status. Not sure how it is for you proletariats back in Economy.
#humblebrag

Danimal said...

What's economy? Isn't it all first class?

Took bro in law to tpc sawgrass today. He was creamimg in his pants. Get kicked off at 17 tee due to tstorms. Dagger.

Clarence said...

TR, #humblebragthatisinnowayhumble

Mark said...

The Tampa Bay secondary is in midseason form. This is most definitely not a good thing.

TR said...

Do not google the phrase "scrotal lymhedema" and view the images. Some things you can't unsee.

I was pre-gaming for the "The Man With the 132-lb Scrotum"documentary coming Monday night and got out over my skis. Big mistake.

Greg said...

I was thisclose to googling that scrotal thingy but then you warned me not to. So I didn't. And relief washed over me in an awesome wave.

rob said...

that's a top-5 all-time 'most unexpected comment' right there.

rob said...

either one, really

rob said...

headed to coastal south carolina tomorrow. most i've anticipated a vacation (non-obft category) in a long time. my shit is wore out.

Danimal said...

Liggered on v & t's with a little ocean race tomorrow. bro in laws wife currently pukin in bqthroom.

Mark said...

Yes! Danimal wins comment of the night. What an upset!

zman said...

In some circles I am known as the man with the 132 pound penis.

Danimal said...

Puking again. Chicks.

Danimal said...

This chick is hammmmered. Been in the terlet for 30 min. JV team.

Danimal said...

Rob...u take a lot of vacations. Hiring?

Danimal said...

My wife, bro in law, and his wife are in the bathroom....laughing and tee-heeing. What do I make of that? Johnny Cash on pandora out on lanai.

Mark said...

They're doing cocaine, Dan.

Clarence said...

Duh.

Greg said...

"Are you a coffee drinker, Mr. Ryan?"

Clarence said...

I went to a rave (of sorts) tonight. Wearing glo-gear. Kept waiting for people to ask me who I was there to pick up.

Greg said...

"Try the Lindo brand"

Clarence said...

Hi, Greg. Your shitty music made me puke.

Greg said...

Hi Clarence, your music is for pussies!

Clarence said...

Greg, do you even know what the kids on the street are listening to? Disco, motherfucker!

Greg said...

Fame, Fortune, http://tinyurl.com/lly9xyj

Clarence said...

You're drowning in the past, Greg. But I've got your life vest right here: it's called the 80's, and it's gonna be around forever!

Greg said...

Clarence, are you gonna take it up the ass? Or are you gonna take it TO THE STREETS!!!

Clarence said...

Fuck you, Greg! Dave and I will not stand idly by while you Northern Virginia vagina sailors stab the American airwaves in the balls with your shit ... music!

Greg said...

You're a pussy, "Clarence Cetera"!!!

Clarence said...

Eat bat, prick!

Greg said...

That's what a fool believes!!! That's....what...a....fool....

Clarence said...

Duh duh duh duh duh, duh duh duh duh duh

[smiles, nods]

Greg said...

Am I an irrelevant joke?, Jimmy MUH-ssina?

zman said...

A lively 3 am discourse.

zman said...

A quote from a Ryan Braun article: "urine collector Dino Laurenzi Jr." I bet Dino is not happy to be referred to with this shorthand.

Mark said...

Tremendous performance by Greg and Clarence. Bravo.

Dave said...

can i get a bot to do that for me every 3 AM?

TR said...

I hate Starbucks.

Danimal said...

Rob/squeaky/shlara/ all really........google "adam scully power"..a former semi-reg group run guy here at beach and a good friend of some good friends....pretty inspiring stuff. I met him as he was just getting back into running....one of the 100 milers he did was solo for shits and giggles here in our development.

rob said...

p&g gymnastics championships on nbc. pretty big night for this guy.

Mark said...

Oh Mark Sanchez. You never fail to entertain.

T.J. said...

Fuck that guy

Mark said...

The list of songs I love more than the Gap Band's 'Early in the Morning' is quite short.

Gap Band party for one going on over here.

T.J. said...

What about Seger's Turn the Page?

TR said...

Seger's Rambling Gambling Man is an underappreciated old school rocker. Glenn Frey sang back-up on that, but you'd already know that if you watched the Eagles documentary.

Don't, however, watch old Seger sing the song. It's just kinda sad.

TR said...

Family trekked down to Manasquan for a beach w/e. we so show got a great deal in a B&B, despite bringing the kids. I am drunk and alone on a tiny deck with a 6-pk of Blue Moon, while my family sleeps inside. Hoping I don't start googling malformed testicles again.

TR said...

It's interesting how ESPN avoids any mention of the first day of the Premier League on their home page, now that they don't have TV rights. They did the same with the NHL ears ago. That there is some grade-A horseshit. Fuck you, John Skipper.

rob said...

drinking blue moon is a sign of some sort of testicular deformity.

rob said...

but strongest white for the espn rant. fuck skipper. gilligan wouldn't stand for that shit.

Mark said...

TJ's follows me on Twitter. I do love 'Turn the Page'. Especially the live version on his greatest hits album.

TR said...

Don't hate on the Moon purchase! I paid $12 for a 6-pk from an Italian restaurant. It was that or Miller Lite or the Silver Bullet. Or, gasp, nothing at all.

Turn the Page is epic.

TR said...

Miguel Tejada had 150 RBIs in 2004. I love the steroid era.

TR said...

Over a four year stretch, from 1998-2001, Sosa averaged 61 HRs and 149 RBIs. Yes, I am drunkenly roaming through baseball-reference.com.

Mark said...

TR's more entertaining than this Jags-Jets game.

TR said...

Why doesn't Ken Griffey Jr have the steroid stink on him? His two outlier power years were back-to-back in '97 and '98, he played with A-Rod, David Bell, David Segui and Edgar Martinez, and his body absolutely broke down one year after he signed the deal with the Reds.

We all acknowledge Bagwell is dirty b/c his body morphed, but we give Griffey a pass, even though his body changed as much (ie, as little) as A-Rod's.

TR said...

Thome's another one. He had three distinct, consecutive outlier years (2001-2003), where he averaged 49 HRs and 124 RBIs, versus 36 HRs and 103 RBIs per yer over the prior five years.

2001 was also Juan Gonzalez' first (and only) year in Cleveland. And Ellis Burks was also on that team. I'm sure that's just coincidental.

Mark said...

My wife has been out of town for a number of weekends this summer because she has a couple of friends getting married in the fall. As a result of this, I've had a number of solo weekends with the kid. Fall Saturdays are going to be glorious. Only one more meaningless Saturday to go.

Mark said...

I assume everyone was on some type of roids during that era. How can you not?

Additionally, the guys (for the most part) who get the biggest pass are the pitchers. There a shit tons of pitchers who took steroids that never merit any suspicion.

zman said...

I agree with all of TR's rants above. Sosa hit 60+ HR multiple times without leading the league. Thome must have juiced and I wouldn't be surprised if Griffey did too.

TR said...

1998 Cleveland Indians featured Thome. Also on that team was Manny, who had his breakout year, when he went to 45 HRs (from 26 HRs in '97).

That's the year Brian Giles, another '98 Indian, learned he would need to start shooting up. He had only 16 HRs in 430 at-bats with the Indians. But the next year in Pittsburgh, he hit 39 HRs, the first of four consecutive 35+ HR season. His career high in HRs before or after that stretch was 23 HRs in 2004.

TR said...

In 2000, Todd Helton hit .372, with 42 HRs, 147 RBIs, 216 hits and 59 doubles. He had an OBP of .463 and an OPS of 1.162.

He finished fifth in the MVP race. He was one of eight NL-ers who hit 40+ HRs and did not win the MVP.

Richard Hidalgo of the Astros hit .314 with 44 HRs and 122 RBIs and finished tied for 20th for NL MVP.

TR said...

Jeff Kent won the MVP that year. I learned a good Kent anecdote this week. He bought himself a 4,000 acre ranch in South Texas when he retired, so he could have a place to ride his dirt-bikes. Much to his surprise, the acreage was on top of the Eagle Ford Shale, one of the most prolific oil plays in the history of the US. Oil companies began hounding him to lease the mineral rights under his land. He got spooked by the fiscal cliff and decided to sell the whole thing. He got $120 million for the ranch last December. Not too shabby.

TR said...

Andres Galarraga and that late 90's Rockies run merit attention as well, but I'm tired.

TR said...

Car just drove by my balcony cranking Joel's "Leave a Tender Moment Alone." Who cranks that song on a Saturday night (besides Marls)?

Mark said...

I'm rocking out to Da' Butt right now.

zman said...

Better than rocking in da butt. I suspect Greg would yacht rock "Tender Moment." Just a hunch.

zman said...

Albert Belle?

zman said...

Meanwhile, EJ Manuel needs a "minor procedure" on is knee.

zman said...

The Seahawks' uniforms are brutally bad. The fake carbon fiber helmets add insult to injury.

Mark said...

But the Seahawks look really good. Total bummer Percy Harvin isn't healthy. He'd have been fantastic in their offense.

Danimal said...

Jags uniforms...I just can't grasp someone, Shad khan or anyone else seeing that and saying..."oh yeah. That. Is. it! We'll take those!"

rob said...

my youngest daughter has chosen liverpool as her premiership side. because she likes saying 'liverpool'. the suarez conversation will be interesting.

zman said...

Maybe she's a Pink Floyd fan ... you'll never walk alone and all that.

TR said...

Liverpool has an official poet, so you've got that going for you. And I'm sure there are some old Torres jerseys in discount bins.

Mark said...

I'm going to a coed baby shower in a bit. What kind of guy allows his wife/gf to do something like this?

The upside is they'll be beer and grilled meats, but still.

Mark said...

This hasn't exactly been my summer but the fall is going to make up for it. Already have three concerts and two football games that I'll be attending lined up.

rob said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
zman said...

Coed baby shower sounds bad. My boss at an old job once told me he was going to a baby shower. I looked at him confusedly and he said "It's a Jack and Jill" as if that laid out everything I needed to know.

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