Sunday, August 18, 2013

Summer ASSociates

Ahhhh, summer....a time for overly entitled, douchebag law students to dream of becoming overly entitled, douchebag lawyers; all while being wined and dined by firms as part of a summer associate program.  For those of you lucky enough to have avoided the law gig, summer associate positions are essentially a summer internship where law students audition to be hired by the firm after graduation.  At many of the big law firms, it is also a rub and tug session by the firms to convince prospective employees that working for a big firm is not going to suck as bad as it actually does.  (For any summer associates reading this, please note that the showers in the office are not there for hosing off after a 3 martini lunch or hooking up with the cute paralegal in the Bankruptcy dept. They are there so you don't draw flies during your 100 hour work weeks next fall.)

This summer, it appears that Edelson, LLC decided to have a little fun with their summer associates by hiring an actor to be the worst summer associate ever.  They didn't let the real summer associates in on the joke until a week into the program, when the actor interrupted a welcome cocktail party to introduce himself with the video below.  The funny thing is, "Scotty Larson" is not that far off from somebody in my summer associate class way back when.



I can't speak for the quality of work life at Edelson, LLC, but they seem a lot more Gheorghie than the firm I worked for.

30 comments:

rob said...

at a myrtle beach pelicans game this evening. pelican third baseman trever adams' at-bat music? 'fat bottomed girls'.

Marls said...

Did you quit your job?

rob said...

for the next week, anyway, marls

Mark said...

If you've never tried strawberries and goat cheese you should do something about that.

rob said...

couple of top notch baseball annies here this evening. top notch.

Marls said...

Caddyshack and Bull Durham. Nicely done.

Mark said...

The groupies/strippers in attendance were always one of the better parts of my time working in Minor League Baseball.

Speaking of which, did I ever mention that I got to announce a game once during my stint in the minors? Well, I did. Thought about it today while listening to Brian Kenny on Simmons' podcast. First time I'd thought about it in years. Very cool experience.

Mark said...

Also, my wife's friend is visiting for the next two days. So I'm not watching Breaking Bad right now. And it's KILLING ME.

zman said...

Strawberries and goat cheese? Where is Mark and what did they do to him at that baby shower?

Mark said...

I support the use of goat cheese whenever possible in the culinary world. My sister served the strawberries and goat cheese in Tallahassee last weekend.

rob said...

i had a hot dog with goat cheese mousse and spicy coleslaw on friday. that shit was ridiculous.

Mark said...

The baby shower was fine, thankfully. At a pavilion on the beach. Had to make small talk and such with a bunch of the stoner surfers I went to high school with. Not the brightest or most high achieving group of guys I know but nice enough in small doses.

zman said...

I'm scheduled to eat a bag of digs during a 9 pm conference call tomorrow. I'll ask for some goat cheese to go with it.

zman said...

digs = dicks

Marls said...

9 PM? Is that a bag of Asian dicks?

zman said...

This is why I can't bring you anywhere.

mayhugh said...

Mark - my cable went out at 8:59PM last night. That's right, one minute before Breaking Bad. And it didn't even go completely out. I got the 'low' channels (the networks, basically) but none of the other channels were coming in. Nonplussed.

zman said...

Robin Thicke reads G:TB; that's the only explanation I can gin up for his decision to file a declaratory judgment action against Marvin Gaye's estate to establish that "Blurred Lines" is not a ripoff of "Got to Give it Up."

http://gheorghe77.blogspot.com/2013/06/just-in-time-for-summer-new-mayer.html

Mark said...

Awful, Mayhugh. I'm going to have to wait until Wednesday to watch last night's episode. Not psyched about that.

zman said...

Mayhugh clearly is a Time Warner subscriber.

TR said...

Wife and I are binge-watching Breaking Bad. We are in the middle of Season 4. We are DVRing Season 6 in the hopes of catching up mid-season. Was brutal to have to avoid all the media lead-ins to this final season.

TR said...

In other news, I just did a tour of the gym in my building, on account of my fatassery hitting new levels. Marls knows the place. It has clothes if you need them and they give you your own locker. They make it easy to sneak out of work to exercise.

I got a free pass through month-end, including my own locker....locker 69. This is a good omen. Unless it means Katina, the asst manager, likes me. Cuz that's how girls tell you they like you these days. They give you a piece of paper with the number 69 on it.

Mark said...

Big Boi's kid is now a freshman at Auburn. Ron's going to throw away all of his Outkast albums. Oh, wait...

Danimal said...

similar thing at notre dame, but different. bon jovi's kid enrolled and on the fb team as a walk on. livin on a prayer bitches.

zman said...

Are you sure you're at "new levels" of fatassery? Because I've seen you at many fatassed levels. I, however, can say with certainty that every day I wake up fatter and balder than I have ever been.

Marls said...

I am a member of the gym that TR speaks of.

It has a mini basketball court where some old guys have a steady lunchtime game. Saw somebody break a hip last week. Not good times for that dude.

rootsminer said...

Marls, you should raise hell that they've given a perspective member locker 69!

TR said...

Marls - do you wear the optional jock strap they provide?

I have no problem with borrowing shorts, a shirt or socks from the pile of clean laundry, but a worn-out jock is pushing it. I'd just as soon let Mr. Johnson flop around then put on a worn-out, gray jock with worn-out elastic.

T.J. said...

"You know Karate?"
"No."
"Good."

Mark said...

People still wear jockstraps? I haven't worn one since Little League baseball.