Saturday, January 08, 2011

I'm a terrible gambler, so danimal will be wagering for me

He's taking the 7-9 Seahawks, proud winners of the NFC West...and 10.5 point underdogs. At home. Against the defending Super Bowl Champions. But TJ, you say, why should danimal waste his actual money on your asinine bet, with zero rationale to back it up? Let me stop you right there, voices in my head...I do have a reason. It's not the whole 12th man, home-crowd nonsense. It's not the huge injuries to 2 of the 3 Saints RBs, and the third fighting daily through myriad KardaSTDs. It's Matt Hasselbeck. Yes, that decrepit donkey. Oh, no, I don't think he'll lead them to victory at all after dumbass Pete Carroll started him today. Nope, I assume he will get killed somewhere in quarter two...and then The Whitehurst will rise again. He was competent last week, is a million times more mobile than Statuebeck, and yes, Chaz really really really looks like Jesus, or at least Family Guy's Jesus:


All that being said, I'm not backing Seattle to win, just to cover the spread. Brees does breesy-type things, Saints win 28-20, but danimal wins dollah dollah bills, y'all. Doofus Overlord out.

156 comments:

Mark said...

28-20....hmmm. I think I'd take the under on that. Torrential rain in Seattle today. Teej, you nervous about the Jets, yet?

T.J. said...

There's a reason I didn't even mention them. Very concerned about Peyton Manning picking them apart again.

T.J. said...

What the hell is a bbva compass bowl?

T.J. said...

So, yeah, Ed Reed's brother???

Danimal said...

Can get 10 now, not 10.5. Ur post has the world clamoring for the hawks. I shall ponder. For the record I only wager for diet cokes.

zman said...

I feel like Peyton Manning should be enough for the Colts to get at least one playoff win. And note that Shonn Greene has more 100 yard playoff games than Tomlinson.

T.J. said...

Wouldn't a torrential downpour be a good thing for Seattle? Shouldn't they be used to that as a home environment? And might is affect Brees a little?

zman said...

Yeah, but the Seahawks don't have any good football players.

Mark said...

A torrential downpour is indeed good for the Seahawks, not good for a lot of points though.

T.J. said...

Horrible news coming from AZ...a Congresswoman Giffords and multiple others have been killed by a gunman. Giffords was shot point blank in head.

My twitter feed is an atrocious mix of left and right dumbassery right now...

T.J. said...

OK, so she's not dead...

rob said...

the dumbassery is indeed aflight. how bout we figure out what happened first?

Danimal said...

no deets as of yet, or real deets anyway.

i bet one very small diet coke on the saints the teej. it was difficult. can't disagree
bout the 12th man and what not.

go dukes.

T.J. said...

Charlie Whitehurst will now have to punish you.

TR said...

Any of you donkeys watch the Blue Hens collapse last night? Up 19-0 on the 3rd and blew it, despite Joe Biden and his hairplugs in the stands. A really phenomenal collapse. I even got my wife invested in the game, although she was drunk.

George Thorogood is so bummed out he's drinking alone.

Danimal said...

Can't shake the feeling that u r correct. I must forge ahead though for that is what I do.

T.J. said...

I'll order him one bourbon, one scotch and one beer.

Danimal said...

But he usually does prefer to be by himself.

zman said...

When was the last time the defending Super Bowl champs lost in the first round of the playoffs to a 7-9 team?

Danimal said...

Is this a trick question?

T.J. said...

Who cares if they lose, as long as it is only by 10 points. You do understand how gambling works, right?

T.J. said...

Holy shit that congresswoman is supposedly going to make it.

Danimal said...

Giddy w playoff eggsitement.

zman said...

I can't imagine a world in which the Saints don't blow the Seahawks out of the water, regardless of where and the weather conditions under which the game is played. If things get bad they can put Marques Colston in the backfield.

T.J. said...

We will have our answer soon...

T.J. said...

We will have our answer soon...

Danimal said...

Duke by the way are 6.5 faves . Thoughts o little one?

T.J. said...

TR, Tom "Hector" Savage is transferring from Rutgers. What up wit dat?

Danimal said...

Dukes....not duke

Marls said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Danimal said...

Alex Flanagan....hubba hubba

Am I the only male in north America that doesn't know where brees got his scar? Anyone?

zman said...

Isn't Alex Flanagan the spokeswoman for the American Vampire League?

zman said...

Brees had a giant hairy mole-type of thing there and he had it removed.

rob said...

danimal, blue horseshoe loves the dukes at that number

T.J. said...

Always bet on black.

And against the teej.

Danimal said...

0 -0....

zman said...

I know I've said this before but ... Reggie Bush is Eric Metcalf.

T.J. said...

Notre Dame conspiracy!!!!!

Danimal said...

Teej looking good here.

T.J. said...

Roman Harper < Roman Brady

rob said...

saints seem surprised that seattle decided to show up

T.J. said...

Well done Seattle. Now, you must score a TD.

mayhugh said...

Over not looking so bad so far.

T.J. said...

Brandon Stokley is still in the league?

zman said...

I cannot conceive of the world in which I live, I guess.

Danimal said...

17-0
Oh vey

T.J. said...

It's playoff footbll zman, you should know better.

Don't you remeber the last "worst playoff team ever"? It was Arizona and they barely lost the SB to a rapist.

Mark said...

Brandon Stokley, back from the dead. And the Seahawks are looking a lot like my former Pop Warner team, the (wait for it) Satellite Seahawks. Ca-Caw!

And yes, I've been drinking.

T.J. said...

Zman, did you delete your own comment to make yourself look better? If so, weak.

zman said...

I thought the 1991 Jets were the last worst playoff team ever.

zman said...

No, my comments are still there. See 4:01.

Mark said...

Not saying I saw this exact scenario playing out but when it comes to gambling three words are a nice guide: Fade. The. Public.

T.J. said...

Please disregard zman...we can discuss on Monday's show my lack of faith in you. Tootie, book Dr. Phil for us.

zman said...

I said you were better than The Edge and this is how you treat me?

/Draper sob

T.J. said...

Trust. The. Teej.

T.J. said...

Read the apology comments!!!!!!!
/tears of a fat clown

Mark said...

Do you two want to hash this out via email? It's all making me very uncomfortable and bringing back some terrible childhood memories. My parents aren't divorced, but still, lots of bad memories.

/sparks up meth pipe

zman said...

Wow.

zman said...

I mean wow Julius Jones choked. Not wow to the meth pipe.

T.J. said...

Pete Carroll is still a douche.

zman said...

Terrible announcing. The Seahawks aren't a wild card team, the Saints are.

zman said...

Beast mode?!?

zman said...

He never had a run like that in Buffalo.

T.J. said...

Lynch...weaving...running over a guy...

Mark said...

I believe Marshawn Lynch refers to that as...BEASTMODE.

Mark said...

Damn you, Z. Damn you.

That stiff arm was sick.

Danimal said...

Teej...u complete me

T.J. said...

Danimal, Pete Carroll screwed you. That peppy fuck.

T.J. said...

Terrible play call.

zman said...

Best stiffarm ever.

T.J. said...

That's what she said.

zman said...

Shocker!!

TR said...

Who is the guy doing color? He's like Simms + ignorance.

zman said...

It's Mayock and Hammond.

TR said...

I feel very good about the Jets. I think we'll see a good game from Shonn Greene and I think this is the night when Gholston's breaks his sack cherry. Actually, I don't think that about Verne, but a man can dream.

T.J. said...

Line on this game?

zman said...

I hope I never break the cherry on my sack. I would like my sack to remain in one piece for the rest of my life.

zman said...

Jest +3?

Mark said...

Worst challenge ever? Worst challenge ever.

Mark said...

Good thing you don't really think that TR, because Vern is inactive this evening.

TR said...

Inactive. I knew that!

(I did not know that)

zman said...

I'd like to see the transcript of the conversation between Brad Smith and the trainer. I suspect it would read something like "I said my groin bitch! Muthafucka, rub that shit!"

TR said...

First healthy scratch for Verne all year. His Jets career is probably over.

Mark said...

He's been given more time than he deserves.

zman said...

Talib Kweli? Really?

TR said...

Two straight long drives for the Jets. Nice.

zman said...

Like my johnson.

Danimal said...

Line was 2....I took jets. Taking picks public is usually not a good thing. Sorry teej

Mark said...

Z...did Kweli walk into your house and steal your cable box? I'm confused...and drunk.

Danimal said...

FUUUUUUCK...and jmu wins by 5 (FIVE)? gtb influenced 2 of my 3 diet coke wagers today, badly.

Danimal said...

jets are doomed

zman said...

Talib Kweli did an NFL commercial with some guy who does a lot of NFL commercials -- I don't know the second guy's name but his flow isn't too impressive.

Anyone else pumped for The Black Keys on SNL? Prolly not.

TR said...

Was a Pepsi NFL commercial. Weak to very weak. Faith Hill-esque.

Danimal said...

angererer!!!!

Greg said...

Colts are domed

Mark said...

Yeah, that sucks. I love Kweli. Worked a Kweli show (w/ Blackalicious as the opening act in college). Great show and you could tell by the style of the show that he was a down to earth guy. He's got to eat though. Hip-Hop is tough industry to make a lot of money in.

Mark said...

Antonio Cromartie...not your finest night.

zman said...

It's coaching malpractice to run the ball on 3rd-and-7 when Peyton Manning is your QB.

zman said...

I was more surprised that someone said "Let's get Talib Kweli, he's a household name amongst football audiences" than I was that he did the ad.

Mark said...

Don't forget that Kweli did a commercial/rap for Big Ten Basketball a couple years back. Evidently, TV sports execs love him.

Mark said...

Don't forget that Kweli did a commercial/rap for Big Ten Basketball a couple years back. Evidently, TV sports execs love him.

Mark said...

"they have to put the ball in Sanchez's hands, whose been high all night". Hey! Me too!!

zman said...

Ty Smith is the Holly Farms Chicken McNuggethead of this game.

zman said...

I didn't know he did a Big Ten ad, or if I did I forgot. And that's too bad as me Kweli close like Bethlehem and Nazareth.

Mark said...

1,2,3. Mos Def and Talib Kweli...

Danimal said...

wow. thank the lord baby jesus.

zman said...

Luckily the Jets have Nick Folk.

T.J. said...

Yesyesyesymuthafucka yes

TR said...

That kick veered right and then veered left. Wiggliest 32 yd figgie ever. LaTorsha Tomlinson should be proud of her husband.

Danimal said...

nice bawgame...the kick did have some action on it...like an old screwball.
jim carrey - is he still relevant?

Mark said...

Probably not, but thats partially of his own doing due to his need to be a taken serious as an actor. I'm not a big SNL guy but Carrey's a great fit. Knows the format, totally invested.

Mark said...

By the way, well done Jets. huge catch by Braylon. He drops a lot of easy ones but he's probably gotten to the point that he's now underrated, after years of being terribly overrated.

Mark said...

LaDanian was very good tonight. Somebody check him for PEDs.

zman said...

When a US Representative is shot in the head and the Chief Judge of a Federal District Court is shot and killed, it's time to re-think the wisdom of the 2nd Amendment. This story keeps getting more and more nuts. There's a second conspirator involved.

rob said...

danimal, the tribe scouts failed to take marcus kitts' love for luigi's into account. my apologies.

rob said...

big fun at the mini g:tb summit in celebration of shlara's 41st birthday. she looks good for someone her age. pics to follow tomorrow.

rob said...

also, afuckingmen to zman

Shlara said...

Thanks Rob--so glad that the GTB crew could join!

T.J. said...

Would there be entertainment value to live blogging tomorrow night's two hour "The Cape" premiered? Because man does that look awful...

mayhugh said...

Teej - I was begging for Jerry to live blog it, but apparently he's been shut in since his "What a Week, + Tride Football" post. I think you're an adequate replacement to take up the task. It looks poised to murder the careers of everyone involved.

Mark said...

I was planning on live blogging tomorrow's BCS title game. I think a "The Cape" live blog would be a great appetizer.

T.J. said...

I'll need to DVR it, and will review it for Wednesday post.

T.J. said...

My early morn papal election and bottomlss bellini bruch have me on tilt...

Mark said...

AHL. Nice work.

T.J. said...

Can I get a score please?

There is a live DJ at this brunch. I am baffled.

Mark said...

23-7, Ravers.

T.J. said...

Damn ravers. Always dropping e and rocking glow sticks.

T.J. said...

So Mark, you're saying the Ravens are doing swimmingly?

mayhugh said...

30-7. We've officially entered Blowout territory.

mayhugh said...

So, after this weekend's festivities, am I supposed to conclude that Qwest is a tougher place to play than either Lucas Oil or Arrowhead?

T.J. said...

Loudest stadium in the league.

mayhugh said...

I've attended one dome game in my life (in New Orleans, when they roughed up the Giants last October), and couldn't believe how much more noise was generated than from 90K at FedEx. Not that FedEx is on my short list of great venues (or even mediocre venues).

zman said...

I've been to the bummingdome, but that's about it.

T.J. said...

To Mayhugh's point, how the hell does Seattle get away with that claim? No way Qwest is louder than a dome, rt?

zman said...

I think they shaped Qwest field specifically to make it loud.

T.J. said...

We need an intern...

rob said...

well-played opening five minutes

zman said...

Kramerica.

Mark said...

To Z's point, I remember reading something about Qwest being designed to maximize crowd noise when it first opened, Not sure how one would go about this but that was the claim.

zman said...

I bet it involves parabolas and shit like that.

zman said...

Qwest Field has earned a reputation as one of the loudest stadiums in the NFL. The Seahawks owner, Microsoft tycoon Paul Allen, had the architects design the structure of the stadium, especially the roof, to direct as much crowd noise as possible onto the field, thereby giving the fans the sense of being that much closer to the action. In addition, the north end zone seating, called the "Hawks Nest," was specifically designed for rowdy fans. The seating consists of metal bleachers, which are excellent at refracting sound, and fans often stomp to create even more.

Danimal said...

thanks cliffy

Shlara said...

It's already been established that I'm old, and that I don't look old. But the fact that Tim Hardaway Jr. plays college ball makes me feel old...

Mark said...

Don't forget Joe Dumars' kid. He plays at Michigan too.

T.J. said...

David Akers, not making friends.

zman said...

I went to high school with a girl who had a baby in 10th grade, and said baby will be old enough to drink this year. Which means I'm in the 31st grade.

zman said...

I bet I could call plays at the NFL level.

T.J. said...

Suck it, dog killer.

zman said...

Riley Cooper is an improbable name for a WR.

T.J. said...

I like the Seahawks vs Jay Cutler next wk. Just telling you now.

Danimal said...

teej sleepin w/seattle...

T.J. said...

Duke/Maryland on at 8. Watch Jordan Williams. Love the improvement from last year.

zman said...

I thought he was sleeping with Bieniemy.

TR said...

Don't forget Knicks-Lakers at 9:30. It's the late night enticement I don't need before the BCS game on Monday night. I will be dogshit by Tuesday without booze.

TR said...

Clyde Frazier has gone full cheetah for the Knicks-Lakers. His ability to take it to the next level in LA is tremendous. Cheetah jacket, black dress shirt, cheetah tie and what appears to be a cheetah pocket square. Beyond awesome.

TR said...

New post up. The king of all pimps deserves it.