Monday, January 10, 2011

Oregon-Auburn. Points points points. I love points.

The final game of the College Football season is upon us and that makes me sad. Sad, but pretty excited too. The Oregon-Auburn matchup is intriguing on a number of levels, not the least of which is the possible offensive explosion on our hands in Glendale tonight.

We've all seen what these teams can do so I'm not going to waste your time talking. Not yet at least. I'm bringing back the G:TB Live Blog. Meet and me and my pal Cocaine Bear in the comments.

281 comments:

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Mark said...

Cocaine Bear is already half in the bag...

rob said...

sweet

Mark said...

Some others players to watch on Oregon and Auburn:

Offense:

Jeff Maehl (WR-OU)
Ontarrio McCalleb (RB-AU)

Defense:

Cliff Harris (CB-OU)
Josh Bynes (LB-AU)

And as TJ said, Zach Clayton's worth a look too.

Mark said...

Not only would this be a big win for Auburn, Cam new Ton, the SEC, but it would be a pretty big one for Under Armour too. Seriously.

rob said...

this is huge for under armour

zman said...

I am having the worst allergy attack in recent memory. Snot is coming out of my eyes.

T.J. said...

That's TR's schtick.

Danimal said...

Is Joey Harrington playing for anyone these days (in the NFL)

zman said...

No, TR's schtick involves a snot-like substance oozing from his schlong, accompanied by burning.

Mark said...

I'm surprised by how many people are taking Oregon.

rob said...

c'mon man

zman said...

Funk dat.

Danimal said...

At an Ale House in north Miami...not many ales for such a moniker. And no volume on TV's. Just really loud music. KE$HA! Can someone give me some ccaption? Thx

Mark said...

Speaking of Oregon, Auburn has had the light shone on how shady a program they have through this whole Cam Newton fiasco (and the subsequent investigations...the Bobby Lowder NYT article) but nobody has talked about Oregon and the unbelievably criminal offseason they had last year.

Not that I care (shit, I went to Florida) just that its interesting. Or not.

zman said...

Young Frankenstein on HBO!

Mark said...

My Mom's favorite movie.

T.J. said...

Commercial breaks are now a million times better...

Mark said...

A negative that I've recently thought of for each team.

Auburn: Lee Ziemba cut his mountain beard.

Oregon: Sebastian Bach is a part of the Oregon Football traveling party.

Things still seem even to me.

Danimal said...

I wouldn't cry if cam got colt mccoyd

Mark said...

Speaking of mountain man beards. I'm not two months into growing another one (I had a mean one last year) in anticipation of my wedding.

Geoff said...

I predict that this game will be a complete and utter blowout...in someone's favor.

T.J. said...

Kick the fucking ball off...

Mark said...

I bet Casey Matthews took a trip down to Mexico this past week and got some killer steroids.

Clay is so jealous.

rob said...

so we're not talking about the socks, then?

Geoff said...

How many bellinis have you had tonight Tee J?

T.J. said...

It's Saranac tonight my man.

Mark said...

I'm pretty lukewarm on the unis Rob. Don't love the pants.

rob said...

look at the teej, all growns up.

T.J. said...

The socks are almost as bad as my softball shorts.

rob said...

agreed, mark. they tried too hard.

Geoff said...

That's THE Dr. James Andrews in the mustard pants and blazer.

rob said...

nike cleats can't grip, under armour cleats hurt a player.

draw.

Mark said...

Dr. James Andrews is so random. Every semi-dedicated sports fan in America can name. Virtually nobody else in the world (outside of the medical community) can.

T.J. said...

Rob is commenting like Darren Rovell tweets.

Mark said...

You know who's not enjoying tonight?

Jeremiah Masoli.

Danimal said...

Slippery field. Advantage ducks.

Mark said...

Darren Thomas? What the hell man?

Geoff said...

Dr. Andrews is doing my vasectomy next month. He says it will make my penis stronger than it was before the surgery.

rob said...

this game might be too big for thomas

zman said...

I like the socks. If your program doesn't have a 50-year heritage of greatness then break out new fly shit every game. The carbon-fiber-ish helmets are always cool. They should really make them look like carbo-fiber.

zman said...

I believe he said your pelvis will be stronger.

Mark said...

I like the philosophy too Z. Just don't love these particular unis.

Geoff said...

Oh...that's much less appealing...

T.J. said...

I'm handling it ok so far rob, but I do appreciate the concern.

Geoff said...

Tj....hold it together. You can handle this game.

Mark said...

Did Chip Kelly have too much time to scheme?

Mark said...

Ok. Maybe not.

rob said...

lazoom

T.J. said...

When they break out like that the cleats/socks grow on you.

T.J. said...

Auburn's secondary eh?

Mark said...

According to Herbstreit, Auburn's daring Darren Thomas to consistently beat him with his arm.

Shlara said...

Go Ducks!
I like the web-feet look where the shoes merge into the electric yellow socks.

And, why didn't ESPN let Lee Corso have a micorphone tonight?

zman said...

Auburn has Bo Jackson and Frank Thomas. Oregon has ... Prefontaine ... and ... ?

Danimal said...

They watched dick Clark on new years

Mark said...

Cliff Harris, ya'll...

T.J. said...

Exposed QBs? Nervous as fuck?

Igor said...

"Darron Thomas cannot get the edge."

Then he definitely can't get the Teej!"

Mark said...

Ahmad Rashad, Zman.

rob said...

dan fouts and norv!

Danimal said...

Joey Harrington.

Geoff said...

Oregon: Ahmad Rashad...Dan Fouts...

Danimal said...

And Phil Knight. Perhaps you've heard of him.

T.J. said...

Danimal really likes Joey's piano work.

Danimal said...

And Donald. THEE Duck.

zman said...

I did not know any of that. Ahmad Rashad is cool because he married Mrs. Huxtable and he's down with Michael Jordan. But he's no Bo Jax.

mayhugh said...

Cocaine bear is not getting enough play. Still making me chuckle.

Can't wait for Chip Kelly's completely uninformative, uncomfortably stand-offish interview going in to half time.

Danimal said...

Mrs huxtable kicked his ass to the curb circa 2000

T.J. said...

Jake Delhomme plays for Oregon.

Mark said...

Really, Nick Fairley unblocked. Bad move Ducks.

zman said...

And Danimal wasn't lying about Oregon's cheerleaders. I know nothing about Oregon.

mayhugh said...

Jeff Blake had a remarkable career?

Danimal said...

Does Oregon come out w different unis in 2nd?

Under looking OK

rob said...

jeff blake's career was remarkable?

Geoff said...

Jeff Blake had a remarkable career? How so Brent? I'll hang up and listen to your answer.

rob said...

quickdraw mayhugh

T.J. said...

Collective brain overlord.

rob said...

is geoff on delay?

zman said...

Norm Van Brocklin = Duck.

T.J. said...

Too many f bombs around the kids...wife has him on seven second delay

Geoff said...

Hi rob! What time is it where you are?

zman said...

Time to get ill.

rob said...

time rises like heat - so i'm always the first to get stuff

zman said...

Haloti Ngata too. Who knew? I should have gone to Oregon.

rob said...

second to shlara, that is

T.J. said...

Gus Malzahn is a hacky fraud, right?

Mark said...

Typical east coast bias by Z.

Igor said...

Where has Oregon?

Idaho, Alaska!!

T.J. said...

Does Dave watch college football?

T.J. said...

His name is David Paulson. His name is David Paulson.

zman said...

Danny Duberstein is good at 2 things.

Danimal said...

He reads about it

Geoff said...

Is one of them kicking some Ass?

Mark said...

Oh man, Coccaine Bear just walked back in with a handle of Crown. Things are going downhill fast.

Mark said...

No, But one of them is Bar Mitzvahing.

Mark said...

Oregon's heard of Nick Fairley, right?

Danimal said...

Wont it be cool if one day the University of Phoenix plays for a natl championship in the stadium of their namesake?

Danimal said...

Cocaine bear. ... is he working tomorrow? Fishing? Eatn beaver?

Igor said...

Oregon is doing some kind of modified trap iso where they leave someone unblocked. They keep choosing an All-American to leave free. The results... not mind-boggling, Ducks.

T.J. said...

This protection scheme is giving Patrick Ramsey cold sweats.

rob said...

gene chizik won the national coach of the year award for figuring out how to hide the payments to newton

zman said...

You have to rejuevenate the mitzvah.

T.J. said...

What's up with the field?

Mark said...

Cliff Harris...

TR said...

100 comments in 76 minutes. Impressive.

Marls - I had no idea what your comment was. I'll still take the Ducks action, assuming I get 3. Nice of you to pick a place 1 block from your job and 10 from mine.

rob said...

nice safety play

Igor said...

Good year to be named Cody.

(finally)

Mark said...

If Las Vegas was in the south, there would be lines on the number of towel waves and chest bumps executed by Trooper Taylor tonight.

Danimal said...

Thx teej. Is that real grass? Fo real?

zman said...

Did they mean to fuck up the return like that?

rob said...

oregon's really not that smart

T.J. said...

Chip Kelly smoked the good shit tonight.

T.J. said...

Game. On.

Mark said...

I like this 2 quarter much more than the 1st. No more nerves. Just offense.

Danimal said...

Yeah. Not smart

Igor said...

Single White Maehl. Nice call, Mark.

Danimal said...

They can't score 6

Mark said...

Well drawn up and even better execution.

T.J. said...

So the fellas are loose now...

T.J. said...

I want his weed.

rob said...

that's dumb as shit. i love it.

Geoff said...

That was pointless.

TR said...

Is that the first "Riverboat Gambler" reference of the night?

Igor said...

Onions!!

Danimal said...

Actually it was worth 2

Igor said...

Does Brent know it's called a WR screen and not "basically a running play"?

Mark said...

Michael Dyer is conspicuous by his absence tonight.

Geoff said...

That was figuratively quasi-pointless.

Mark said...

Thanks, Gus.

TR said...

Herbie is more suited to a 3-man booth. He has some good things to say, but it gets lost in his quest to avoid dead air. It's like hanging out with me, if I were more Aryan-looking.

Igor said...

When there's dead air, Herbie goes bananas.

Shlara said...

TR, you wish you were as smooth as Kirk

Mark said...

Oregon...still not smart.

Danimal said...

Good to have Igor. Missed u like crazy

Igor said...

Right before that time-out, Cam Newton had that dazed, clueless look reminiscent of Heath Shuler in the NFL.

rob said...

tebow jump pass

Geoff said...

Heath busts that look out in committee hearings these days. He's powerfully dumb.

Mark said...

If Gus Malzahn had any balls he'd called a jump pass here.

Igor said...

Danimal, it's good to be among old friends. You clowns, Dale's Pale Ale, and college football.

Mark said...

Damn it, Rob.

zman said...

Is that guy really the best player in football?

Danimal said...

Fuck u cam newton

TR said...

College coordinators are the most toolish of all sports coaches. Their perpetual histrionics must be embarrassing to their families.

rob said...

me? well, yes.

zman said...

I worked with a woman who had a histrionic.

TR said...

LaSafety!

Danimal said...

Safety dance

Danimal said...

I think spackler left the sprinklers on last night

Igor said...

Do they call those runs up the middle Dyer straights?

rob said...

boooooooo

rob said...

boooooooooooo

Danimal said...

They call it the live and let dyer

Mark said...

Deon Jordan got fucked up. Can I get some video?

Danimal said...

Worried.....a fuck up here turns it into a blow out

TR said...

His dad is Dyer Maker.

Igor said...

Late hit. Bloody eye. Nah, don't bother with a replay, let's get audio of Erin Andrews. Genius.

TR said...

Erin Andrews is dying to be relevant tonight. Not gonna happen.

Igor said...

Finally the replay A little mini-Haynesworth there from Auburn. Klassy.

Mark said...

Oregon's going to have to do more than throw WR screens all day.

Danimal said...

The 2 pt conversion keeps them within a safety and a field goal. Not so dumb after all.

rob said...

not punting here is malpractice by kelly

TR said...

Is it racist to ask why African Americans wear eye black?

T.J. said...

He heard you.

Mark said...

yep.

TR said...

Good to know. I won't ask that.

Igor said...

Brandon "Cocaine" Bair was a little jumpy.

rob said...

good timeout, chip

T.J. said...

Does Yogi hate it when Cocaine Bear comes to Yosemite and fucks shit up?

Igor said...

Best time on a Saturday night in the 80's? "B.J. and the Bear"

T.J. said...

Want more offense I half two.

Mark said...

Cocaine Bear is Yogi's hook up. Used to fuck Booboo's sister.

rob said...

'let's check in down below with erin'

right on, brent

zman said...

But BJ didn't work on Cocaine Bear.

Geoff said...

Instead of the halftime show, check out Three Men and a Baby on HBOfamily.

Geoff said...

People totally slept on Guttenberg's range. He's really showing me something.

T.J. said...

Guttenberg!!!!

Geoff said...

The Gutenbergs were to printing and acting what the Kennedys were to politics and untimely death...and drinking...and infidelity...

T.J. said...

Four Police Academy movies
Two (?) Cocoon movies
Two Three Men and a Baby movies
Diner

What else...

Mark said...

Geoff's best material comes during halftime/Three Men and a Baby. I like it.

T.J. said...

Are rob and Nick Saban the same height?

Geoff said...

That dude better be the CEO of tostitios.

Igor said...

There is no CEO of Tostitos. They do, however, have a Captain Crunch. That was he.

Igor said...

And Chip Kelly in the Tostitos Fiesta Bowl??? I finally get it.

Geoff said...

Was surprised to see Elmo in that PAC 10 ad. Where did he play his college ball?

Mark said...

It's popular to talk about the SEC speed factor in these games but it's usually more about the size AND speed of the SEC lines that make the biggest difference. That's been the case for Auburn (especially their DLine) so far.

TR said...

Free Willy, bitches!

ngs

T.J. said...

Auburns D line...for once I said something correct.

Danimal said...

SWITCHFOOT!!!!

TR said...

Switchfoot is a poor Man's Nickelback. And Nickleback is a poor Man's Creed.

T.J. said...

Don't mention Creed around Greg.

Geoff said...

Or vice versa.

Igor said...

Did somebody step on a Duck?

Danimal said...

cam cam hurt?

Mark said...

It happened late in the first half. But Auburn thinks they can block Oregon well enough to thrown the ball downfield.

zman said...

Guz? Malzhan? C'mon.

T.J. said...

I have to cut Gus slack tho - he has matched up backs out of the backfield on LBs and DEs and capitalized a bunch tonight.

Geoff said...

Swint gave me a scotch called Octomore for St. Hubbins Day. It 126 proof. I'm not responsible enough to be in possession of it.

zman said...

This is a serious, if stupid, question: are college OL required to wear knee braces? Or did Oregon recruit a bunch of gimpy OL?

Mark said...

Nick Fairley got a personal foul. That's pretty standard.

Marls said...

TR, you can have your three points. I only picked Wolfgang's because I am not sure where your new office is.

Igor said...

Fairley douchey.

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