Friday, October 02, 2009

Your Gheorghe Football Picks

Your Gheorghe Pick(s) of the Week:

Tampa Bay Buccaneers @ Washington Redskins (-7.5)

Take the Bucs. Dear God, take the Bucs. If anyone does regular business with someone who manufactures hardbacks and paperbacks, do me a favor and put me down for $50 on the new large-print edition of The Buccaneers of Tampa Bay. The Bucs suck, but how in THE hell does anyone watch the Redskins' season thus far and pick them to win at all, much less by a touchdown??

London Fletcher, the lone bright spot, leads the defense admirably. . . and leads the league in tackles. All of the Redskins' other stats are offensive.
Buccaneers 22, Redskins 13.

Oklahoma @ Miami (+7)

This one's not a professional game, despite the fact that most of the players on both teams probably make more money than I do. Miami, as documented in this space last week is counterfeit. Oklahoma may be as well, with four new starters on the offensive line, a backup quarterback, and all-everything tight end Jermaine Gresham lost for the season.

The transitive property of sports certainly isn't kind to the Sooners in this one. BYU beat Oklahoma, 14-13, then lost to Florida State by 26. The same Florida State team that Miami handled in their season opener. So Miami by three touchdowns, then?

As our increasingly addled crazy uncle is wont to say, not so fast, my friends. Oklahoma's defense is for reals, y'all. The points they allowed to BYU were the only one's they've surrendered this season. (Yes, I realize they've only played Idaho State and Tulsa.) And Landry Jones (Dad's a Cowboy fan, huh? I bet the kid's a jerk.) is triggering the offense nearly as effectively as Sam Bradford did last year.

And, as I may have mentioned, Miami's counterfeit. Sooners, and it won't even be close.

Bonus Dreadful Matchup of the Week

Tulane @ Army (-6)

The Green Wave rolls into Michie Stadium to battle the Black Knights of the Hudson in the ugly little sister to this weekend's Navy/Air Force tilt. 1-2 Tulane got their first win of the season last week, outlasting 1-AA foe McNeese State, 42-32. Army's back to a ground-based attack after a few years of ill-conceived pro-style misery. Their 2-2 mark includes a pair of wins against mediocre opponents, but at least they've beaten D-1 schools.

I can't be bothered to do much more research than that. Army does a better job at stopping this New Orleans weather system than the Corps of Engineers did the last.

23 comments:

Mark said...

If you're bored tonight (and if you're reading this you are) hop over to ESPNU and watch the #1 and #2 high school football teams in the country go head to head. #2 Byrnes (SC) vs. #1 St. Thomas Aquinas (FL). St. Thomas is fucking football factory. Every year the put over a dozen kids (that's a conservative estimate) on scholarship at Div. 1 schools. They have the perfect combination of factors in their favor. South Florida, private school, deep pocketed boosters and alumni and famous alumni and boosters. Just a fucking powerhouse.

Mark said...

I don't know what kind of guy Landry Jones is but he DOES have a pretty sweet mustache.

rob said...

louisville going with 'the ville' on the front of their jerseys. the stupid is powerful in that neck of the woods.

Geoff said...

I think the Redskins will win and cover this weekend. 24-10. They still suck something awful though.

Mark said...

Gainesville's not going to be happy with those Louisville jerseys.

But seriously, how many dumb white kids who live in a town that ends in 'ville are going to buy those jerseys?

Geoff said...

White kids are the dumbest.

I'm now watching Byrnes/Aquinas and I've seen two TDs in 30 seconds.

rob said...

i like that the sausage king of chicago is quarterbacking the ville tonight.

rob said...

sweet vomit in the high school game.

rob said...

syracuse has 5 turnovers in the first quarter against south florida. impressive.

rob said...

c'mon, sunderland

rob said...

wow, greg mcelroy is making throws that john parker wilson only dreamed about.

Mark said...

Well then, I guess that'll be all for Kentucky.

rob said...

yes, we enjoyed those 19 seconds in my house.

rob said...

wow, that's a brilliant goal by berbatov.

TJ said...

RichRod with the worst fake punt call I've ever seem.

TJ said...

Or seen.

Whitney said...

My local cable company (Cox) just got access to ESPN 360. I am happy with this development.

TJ said...

Happy Rocktoberfest everyone.

rob said...

brutal ending in old trafford. own goal in stoppage time against rio ferdinand levels the match for man utd. sunderland had them beaten.

Whitney said...

Duke . . . sticking around like the little British kid in Pink Floyd: The Wall whose mom dropped him off at the playground and he was trying to play with the kids who didn't know him and he was trying to hold hands with other people's parents, and they all dismissed him and wouldn't play with him but he just kept hanging around. Yeah, it was sad.

Whitney said...

I'm a Golden Gopher comeback from taking an oh-fer in my picks of the early games. Nice. I need the stinking Badgers.

Whitney said...

Two minutes after I type that, Minnesota returns a fumble 80 yards and tacks on a 2-pointer. Gophers down 2. Sweet.

Mark said...

Guess who finally got off his ass and wrote actual content for G:TB?

>this guy<