Monday, October 19, 2009

This is What You Get in My House When You Spill Paint in the Garage!

Quick thoughts on sporting happenings that one overtired, underslept New York sports fan has noticed. The comments selfishly relate to the underperforming teams in the orbit of my fandom.

New York Knicks
Congrats to Larry Hughes! The starting point guard of the soon-to-be worst team in the NBA* made the first shot of the exhibition campaign last night against a team from Israel. Hughes went 1 of 3 from the field, and is now 1 for 20 this preseason. It's hard to raise your FG percentage by 5% in one game, but this Knick found a way to do it.

New York Jets
I am wrong about a lot of stuff, but my prediction for the 2009 Jets is getting more prescient by the week. The call from this guy was that the team would finish 6-10 and the coach would show his true stripes as an ignorant bully who is not fit to be a leader of men. Now that we're six weeks in, the Jets are 3-3 and face the following games: Miami, @NE, Atlanta, @Indianapolis, Cincinnati. They also face "easy" games against Oakland, Jacksonville, Carolina, Buffalo and Tampa. Of course, yesterday's game was supposed to be "easy," until the shocking news came out that Dirty Sanchez had never played nor practiced in cold weather. Sounds like a terrific marriage between him and an AFC East team. Rex Ryan has the classic look of an overmatched strategist on the sideline. After every penalty or call that doesn't go his way, he finds a way to drop 4 F-bombs (short for fuck-bombs) into a sentence that displays his disagreement, much like the plumber from Ronkokama who sits in front of me at the games does. We'll spare the audience a breakdown of how terrible the attempted 50-yard FG by Jay Feely in a giant wind storm in overtime was.

New York Islanders
The soon-to-be Kansas City ice dancers are still winless on the year. Here is the first paragraph of the beat reporter's take on Saturday night's loss to San Jose: "The loudest cheer at the sparsely filled Nassau Coliseum last night came when the scoreboard showed Derek Jeter's home run against the Angels." The team now stands at 0-3-3. And I'm not even sure what those numbers mean these days. What happened to the fourth number at the end to delineate overtime losses? No need for those anymore? Things are so bad that Long Island native (and Gambino crime family member) Timmy Marls has allegedly abandoned the team to root for the Blackhawks. We all love Stan Mikita, but this is a hard pill to swallow. Bobby Nystrom is crying in his beers, between shifts at the Hempstead Olive Garden where he bartends.

Carry on with your day, gents.

*Not an exaggeration. These guys are dreadful. You can expect a preview of the putridity in the next week. You may not get it, but you can expect it.

38 comments:

TR said...

The "terrible" comment about Feely and the figgie relates to the decision to kick it, not the execution, though both were terrible.

zoltan said...

tlmarl gave up on the Fish Sticks!? Say it ain't so.

Yesterday was a bizarre day for QBs. Seems like everyone either had a rating over 100 or under 70.

TR said...

Or under 8.4, in the case of Sanchez.

Dan said...

i think collins' was 4'ish...

zoltan said...

Or 0.0, like Vince Young.

Marlin said...

TR - I am still an Icelanders fan, I am just hedging my bets if and when Wang moves this team to KC.

The real tragedy is that Nassau County/Town Of Hempstead is the real villan in this story. The isles have one of the worst arena deals in sports. The Nassau Mausoleum is a first class dump. The team does not contol any of the game day revenue other than ticket sales, of which the Town takes a large portion. They have no cut of the concessions other than the standard % they make on Islander branded items, and no cut of parking. They have been bleeding red ink for years. Notwitstanding the fact that the team attorney who negotiated the lease should be shot, they need a new building and lease ASAP.

For three years, the owner, Charles Wang, has offered to put up a majority of the funding for a new arena/office park/shopping center, but the town has sat on their hands. They are really willing to let this team walk despite their once proud history, and a fanbase that still wants to support this team. (They had close to 8,000 fans show up to watch the NHL draft - I was not one of them)

This is not the normal greedy owner holding a city hostage situation, but the result is likely going to be the same. The only hope to keep the team in this area now appears to be Wang joining forces with the Nets new Russian overlord and moving the team to Brooklyn.

TR said...

I think the problem was that Wang told them he was Jewish.

Shlara said...

Wow. You guys had a lot to say over the weekend. 321 comments on the last post...

Marlin said...

Maybe he could have helped out at the Knick game yesterday when the Rabbi wandered out onto the court after the Maccabi Tel Aviv coach got tossed out of the game.

While Gershon argued on one side of the court, the Knicks seemed mostly confused on the other. They stood around their bench waiting. So Nate Robinson decided to find out if basketball was going to resume and worked his way into the argument.

“I was over there just trying to figure out what was up,” said Robinson, who added that the coach and the rabbi “started speaking a different language,” which was Hebrew.

“It threw me off,” Robinson said. “I needed a translator.”

Mark said...

Nate Robinson doesn't speak Hebrew? That's more than a little suprising.

TR said...

He doesn't speak defense either.

zoltan said...

Nate Rubenstein?

Marlin said...

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhh....The Bible?

/End Spector Voice

TJ said...

The Albany International Airport is the least international airport in the history of air travel.

TJ said...

So Chris Duhon can't even beat out Elijah Price "Larry" Hughes for the starting PG role?

TR said...

It's Duhon, Hughes, Harrington, Wilson Chandler and Lee as projected starters. Probably the wort starting five in the league. No interior defenders, no post presence on offense, no size, but lots of missed three pointers.

The bench consists of Darko, Danilo, Nate Robinson, Eddy Curry, Jared Jeffries, Jordan Hill and Toney Douglas. Darko, a 24 year-old in a contract year, has a chance to get a lot of minutes, pad his blocked shots stats and look for a Gortat-esque FA contract next year.

TR said...

They will definitely lose 50 games. Possibly 60.

zoltan said...

Would you rather have Jerome James? It's a serious question.

Mark said...

People have seen enough of Darko. He won't get Gortat money even if he has a career year. Not enough fire, not tough enough, etc.

And TJ, I encourage you to check out the Melbourne International Airport.

TJ said...

Good start for Los Jankees...

TJ said...

Well look at that. The corpse of Vlad Guerrero actually did something.

TJ said...

OK, that's definitely Scott Boras behing home plate in every shot...but is that Pat Sajak right next to him?

TJ said...

Joba, get your head out of your ass.

mayhugh said...

Why do I find myself rooting for the Yankees? This game is fun, and I don't normally watch the baseball.

mayhugh said...

I like this Texeira guy.

TJ said...

This ALCS is going to give me a heart attack.

TJ said...

Joe Girardi has some 'splaining to do if Kendrick scores here...

TJ said...

Motherfucker...why the fuck was Robertson pulled? What the fuck was Girardi doing? I want some fucking answers god dammit.

rob said...

you want answers?

rob said...

ryan howard is absurd right now.

TJ said...

Broncos rocking some ugly threads again this week.

mayhugh said...

Norv Turner might be wearing the worst-fitting pants I've ever seen.

Mark said...

I'm one of like 5 people who enjoys Denver's throwbacks.

rob said...

i'm another - i love those things.

TJ said...

Eddie Royal with Cheese

rob said...

i commend to your attention the series of screencaps jerry's posted over at the wheelhouse this evening. top notch journalism.

TJ said...

Kris Jenkins out for the year. What a pisser.

Whitney said...

Nobody followed up Rob's excellent set-up? Come on, now I want answers.