Monday, October 05, 2009

Apparently A-Rod is a jerk.

So I'm in the elevator yesterday and the door opens this little old lady gets on with one of the building's luggage carts. You know, one of these things:

She said "I used to just send these down to the lobby in the elevator, but now I bring them down myself. You know why?"

I had no idea why this lady no longer just pushes the cart into the elevator and hits "L", so I said "No, why?"

She replied "Well Pele used to live in the building"

She thought for a scond, and then said "No, AJ ..."

"No, no, what's his name ... A, A, A-Rod, that's his name."

"One time I put the luggage cart on the elevator and A-Rod was in it. And I had no idea who he was, really who cares? And I said to him 'Do you mind taking the cart off the elevator for me when you get to the lobby?' And he huffed and puffed and made such a big deal out of it and was so rude. What a jerk. And awl ovah a luggage cart!!"

So there you have it. Surprisingly, A-Rod is a jerk to little old ladies. And the cheap bastard lived in my jackass building.

32 comments:

rob said...

careful, zoltan. tr's liable to give you 250 words on a-rod's awesomeness, which will spawn 1,500 from whitney on tr's douchiness. i've seen it happen. it ain't pretty.

zoltan said...

That's what I'm aiming for. Maybe I'll get Edna from apartment 29G to put a guest post together to fully flesh out the incident.

Whitney said...

I would have figured it would take more than two leaps to get from Pelé to ARod.

We saw Pelé at the Stephen Talkhouse in Amagansett, NY three years ago. My very drunk friend tried to give him a high-five; Pelé declined, perhaps because he was in mid-conversation with a super-hot chick. I told my despondent friend that it was because he's a futbol player and doesn't use his hands. He seemed to accept that.

Geoff said...

I can also confirm that A-Rod's "relationship" with Kate Hudson is for publicity purposes only. Hudson has been secretly dating Justin Timberlake for almost two years--for the entirety of his similarly contrived relationship with Jessica Biel, who is actually a lesbian. One of my relatives is the publicist for one of the folks mentioned above.

zoltan said...

Geoff's publicist told me that his marriage is similarly contrived.

zoltan said...

His twins are actually Jeter's.

zoltan said...

And his wife is secretly dating Jim Zorn.

Geoff said...

All true.

Whitney said...

Jeez, remember back in the day when in the world of celebrities men were men and women were women?

Like Rock Hudson and Marlene Deitrich, like Richard Chamberlain and Lily Tomlin, like Russ Francis and Billie Jean King?

Geoff said...

Yeah, word is Liberace and Rip Taylor were gay as well.

TJ said...

Charles Nelson Reilly was quite the ladies man...right?

zoltan said...

We could use a man like Herbert Hoover again.

Geoff said...

Most folks think we just had one.

zoltan said...

Last month's issue of Harper's has an article explaining why we currently have one.

rob said...

j. edgar hoover is pitching quite a hissy fit at being overlooked in this discussion.

TJ said...

It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.

Shlara said...

Geoff--the Hudson/Timberlake/Beil scoop is better than anything in my US Weekly.

Thank you.

Mark said...

I attended Herbert Hoover Jr. High. Is that good enough?

Whitney said...

Tomorrow evening features what could be the last game ever played at the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome. My grandfather always claimed that if Humphrey had beaten Nixon in '68, he would have been appointed ambassador to Australia.

Of course, my grandfather also told me he could throw a pitch called the "Radio Ball" that you could hear but you couldn't see. He said a lot of things.

Geoff said...

He should chat with Slats' dad about Wes Unseld and his full court chest passes.

Greg said...

"No son, not even close"

rob said...

reports today that tebow's not cleared to practice or play on saturday. anyone seen mark? anyone seen mark near sharp objects?

Dan said...

tebow will play, but they'll get beat regardless....lsu wins this one

Mark said...

And you are basing this on what exactly Dan?

LSU wasn't all that impressive in Athens.

Mark said...

And, I'm fine Rob. However, I 'll be far from fine (regardless of Tebow's status) come Thursday evening/Friday morning. I don't think Les is much a coach but John Chavis is a terrific DC with an intricate knowledge of Florida's schemes and we all LSU is loaded with talent. Okay, that's enough thinking about this game for now.

Dan said...

just looking for a reaction...trying to add a little flavuh to my very bland day. i'd put my confidence level of lsu winning at a 3 or 4 out of 10 with tebow and a 6 without...cannot wait for it either way

Mark said...

Yeah, its going to be a long week of waiting and an even longer Saturday (based on some of games on earlier in the day that should be quite good and only serve to increase my excitement/stress level).

Dan said...

i didn't get to see any of the lsu game on saturday - a win in athens is a good win though.
i have learned the hard way, through wagering, that going against teams, or underestimating teams that "didn't look good" in a game a week or two prior usually means nothing. they all have way too many personalities from week to week. same in the nfl, if not worse.

Mark said...

I'd agree with that. I just don't think UGA's very good and I think LSU is a sloppy football team being lead by a very average coach. None of what I think matters though, that's one of the many reasons I'm so eagerly looking forward to 8 pm on Saturday.

TR said...

People are crushing TR that day. Almost makes you think he made an inappropriate joke about somebody's spouse recently. Jeez.

I loathe A-Rod as much as anybody. I still think Joel Maddon walked Tex b/c he was pissed the Yanks drilled Pena earlier that year. Up Whit's nose with a rubber hose if he disagrees.

I think the Gators win easily either way this w/e. Very few colege teams look very good this year. Florida, Bama and Texas a cut above.

Whitney said...

Love the "Joel" Maddon -- intentional or not. Well played.

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