Friday, July 31, 2009

The Top Ten Montreal Expos

Don't get used to this, and I'm doubling it up on Sentence of Dave while I'm on vacation, but here's something else Gheorghe-like. I think this topic was discussed on the Wednesday night of OBFT, and then it came up again at my house on Sunday, and so I have compiled the definitive list: there will be no additions, subtractions, alterations, discussions, debate, consternation or vacillation. This IS the list.

The Top Ten Montreal Expos

1) Tim Wallach-- for his comment on summer in Canada: "I went 0 for four."
2) Gary Carter-- for the perm.
3) Tim Raines-- because doing a little blow won't keep you off this list.
4) Andres Galarraga-- for his nickname, El Gato.
5) Andre Dawson-- for being a triple crown contender year in and year out.
6) Otis Nixon-- like I said, a little blow won't keep you off this list.
7) Pete Rose -- he wasn't there long, but he did get his 4000th hit in Canada.
8) Al Oliver-- for the mustache.
9) Jeff Reardon-- for the beard.
10) Vladimir Guerrero -- for the talent and the Slavic-Hispanic name.


TJ said...

Pedro? For the perm alone?

zoltan said...

What about Randy Johnson's mullet? And acne scars?

TJ said...

Delino Deshields? Larry Walker? This list is poop.

Whitney said...

I love this list -- it's very Dave. It's "definitive" and without qualifers.

There are zero starting pitchers, meaning Steve Rogers (cool because he was a Steve), Bill Gullickson, and El Presidente are left wanting. No Dave Cash, no Larry Parrish, no Warren Cromartie. No Jorgy, Le Grand Orange, no Hubie.

Just the guys Dave remembers from the '80s. As a list like this should be.

Mark said...

Worst. List Ever.

How can the Hawk not be #1?

And, along the lines of what TJ said, some of the omissions are fucking criminal. Stick to music and mustaches...Dave.

Dave said...

i told you guys not to start debating this list. although i do love warren cromartie.

Mark said...

Also...what about Youpi? That thing was great.

Sadly, he's now homeless and sucking dick for crack on the streets of Montreal.

Greg said...

The first time I saw Youppi he was giving a handjob to a man outside a bloodbank in St. Paul. I knew then that he had the chops to make it big.

GIANTS FAN said...

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Mark said...

My long time college roommate just got engaged. He had been dating his girl much longer than I've been dating mine (9 years to 5) and was always my go to excuse when matrimonial questions were posed by friends and family.

I'm quickly running out of excuses for avoiding engagement/marriage. Motherfucker.

Whitney said...

Tiger Woods just won his 69th PGA Tour event. Word on the Frat Circuit is that he's calling a press conference to announce his retirement tomorrow.

Vincetastic said...

Hey Gary, this is an excellent top ten list. Gary Carter was much more than the perm, but that's a good reason to get him up all the way to the #2 spot. You can cross-post this to our site and link back to your site. We are trying to create a directory for top ten lists where people can find your site. The coolest feature is you can let other people vote on the rankings of your list.

tripleplay514 said...

Dammn I miss those Expos. Not sure about Rose being in that list instead of a Pedro Martinez or Jose Vidro but thats up to debate.

I also have a blog on my all-time Expos team at :

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