Thursday, July 02, 2009

Mark, what have we told you about calling 9-1-1?

I think Michael Kruse of Jacksonville, FL is G:TB's "Human of the Week" for these stellar performances:
911 caller asks for police escort to rap concert

ST. JOHNS COUNTY, Fla. -- A 20-year-old man has been arrested for misusing 911 after asking police to escort him to a concert in Miami.

Deputies say Michael Kruse of Jacksonville initially called 911 because he felt sick on June 21.

The call went into the 911 call center in St. Johns County.

Kruse's speech was slurred and the dispatcher had difficulty understanding him.

Dispatch: "Are you sure you haven't taken something sir? Because you're not making a whole lot of sense."

Caller: "I've been smoking marijuana."

Dispatch: "You've been smoking marijuana?"

Caller: "Yes."

Dispatch: "Do you want a deputy to come and take you to jail?"

Caller: "Why?"

Dispatch: "You just told me on a taped line you just got done smoking marijuana."

Caller: "Awww. Are you serious?"

Sgt. Chuck Mulligan, spokesman with the St. Johns County Sheriff's Office, said deputies located Kruse, took him to a family member, and gave him a stern lecture about 911.

Hours later on June 22, Kruse called 911 again. This time he was driving on I-95. He told the dispatcher he wanted a police escort to see the rapper, Lil Wayne, in concert in Miami.

Dispatch: "You want a police escort to take you to Miami?"

Caller: "Or, you have a helicopter?"

Dispatch: "We don't just send helicopters up for rappers."

Caller: "Well, I'm driving there right now. I just wanted the fastest way to get there. I didn't want to get pulled over on the highway."

The dispatcher had Kruse pull off the interstate and deputies arrested him for misuse of 911.


Mark said...

You're right, it was really me. I just love Lil' Wayne so much. I didn't want to be late.

rob said...

hey guys! what's happening?

Mark said...

Sloooow day, huh? TJ texted me from his work shitter to tell me he was about to take a 3 hour lunch. I, unfortunately, have actually had a lot of work to do today. Not to worry, I'll make up for it soon.

rob said...

there may be worse people in the world than jim leyritz, but the list is pretty short.

rob said...

lots of places reporting rubio stays in spain. might not be the worst thing in the world for the t-wolves.

zoltan said...

My mustache is coming in fierce.

rob said...

i was asked by a colleague today if i was having a mid-life crisis. i told him to mind his own fucking business.

Mark said...

That's good stuff right there.

TJ said...

Jim Leyritz, also a bad decision maker.

Mark said...

That's been covered TJ. Nice to see you're awake though.