Monday, July 13, 2009

America's Worst

Apologies in advance for the lack of material this week on G:TB. We're spending the entire time celebrating Dennis' birthday. And frankly, our output is mediocre on a good day.

We will leave you with a thought regarding the firing of Nationals manager Manny Acta, upon which we'll expand at some later date (shortly after the conclusion of the Cauc Hop): in the National and the Redskins, the Washington D.C. area is home to two of the worst-run franchises in major professional sports. You could make an argument regarding the Wizards, too, though they've got lots of competition in the NBA.

Acta was destined to be fired - his team simply was not performing at an acceptable level, and they were making mistakes that junior varsity athletes don't make. Last night, Tyler Clippard balked in a run when he tripped while attempting to complete an intentional walk. That's legendarily bad. But Nats' "management" tied Acta's hands from the beginning with a poorly conceived roster and an epically tone-deaf and incompetent organizational structure. The Nats rotation at the moment consists of four rookies and second-year man Jon Lannan - and they're the bright spots on the pitching staff. The stadium staff blows up fireworks before games are over, ran out of beer during the one game I attended, and broke Elton John's piano last night.

I blame Tyler Clippard.

27 comments:

rob said...

from twitter:

@StoryofMyLife On this day in history: July 13, 1568, the Dean of St Paul's Cathedral perfects a way to bottle beer

thank you, dean

Dave said...

i'm wondering how to tame my mustache, a lot of hairs stick straight out, perpendicular to my face-- do i go at them with a scissors? or wax them?

TR said...

Mustaches, like man's animal spirits, should not be tamed. They should develop unabated for the betterment of society.

rob said...

i've been using a nose-hair trimmer to attack the wilder bits. i'm really hoping i have the patience to properly carve the mustache from the beard. patience is not my strong suit.

rob said...

it hurts tr's heart not to be able to witness this festival in person. he may get a few drunk voice messages on thursday and friday.

Jerry said...

Dave's stache sounds pretty intimating. I really have to focus on growth over the next three days.

Jerry said...

That's intimidating.

rob said...

i'm quite sure it'll be intimating later this week.

TR said...

The "grow a stache for 1 month for charity" event could've been an epic Pi Lam fundraiser back in the day, capped off by a more epic party. I even have the fundraising rules figured out:

- People would pledge money for every day you have some sort of facial hair.

- The pledge would be a sliding scale. A beard or goatee would be a base contribution (ie, $1 per day), having an unattached stache with some other facial hair like a soul patch or long side burns would be double the pledge amount, and having a straight stached would be 4 times the pledge.

- This runs per day per person over a month. People can be as daring or lame as they want.

- Winner gets a title belt they can wear around campus.

Dave said...

the nose hair trimmer! good idea-- i'll have to do some work tonight. to accelerate mustache growth simply coat your testicles with honey and hang them over an ant hill-- it works for me every time!

rob said...

something stinks about this arturo gatti thing. the police are claiming his wife strangled him by herself in his sleep. his wife is tiny - either he was shithammered or something else is going on.

Mark said...

There were reports that he was visibly drunk when he returned to his hotel on Friday. But, yeah, I agree that it doesn't seem to add up. My (kind of) cop girlfriend made this same point immediately upon hearing the news.

Greg said...

Methinks the wife had an associate.

rob said...

get to brazil, stat, greg. they need you on the case.

rob said...

in other news, i watched family guy for the first time last night. why didn't anyone tell me it would make my stomach hurt?

Greg said...

Trust me, I've been trying to get to Brazil for years.

Jerry said...

You lika my mustache? I finish 1st place inda contest. I winna this gold chain and this card for the free tattoo. Now we go to Tara Greens and play nina holes while wearing the wifebeaters.

Mark said...

Unlike Rob I've been watching Family Guy for the better part of a decade, you know like the rest of America. However, I did catch the tribute to Stephen King episode last night for the first time. Fan-fucking-tastic.

Mark said...

Also...Greg borrow your brother's copy of that Portugese rosetta stone software he bought, make a copy and send it to me. We'll both learn Portugese over the span of a couple of days (thanks, meth) and then we'll go crack this case.

TJ said...

Facial hair update: I am in Chicago for a presentation I have tomorrow morning, and I have an atrocious beard right now. Simply atrocious.

Of course the upside of this will be the worst red 'stache you've seen since mid-80s Eric Stoltz.

TJ said...

Nelson Cruz seems to enjoy the home run derby thing...

rob said...

brandon inge has a bit of an 0fer smell to him

zoltan said...

My mustache is looking weak to very weak. I may have to go with a half-assed Mattingly stache.

Shlara said...

OMG, I loved Eric Stoltz in the "Some Kind of Wonderful" era.

Still don't like facial hair.

TR said...

Just so we're all on the same page, here's what the Orlando Magic just did:

They have a 23 year-old center entering his prime who averages 36 minutes a game and has missed 3 games in the first 5 years of his career.

They just spent $34 MM over 5 years on this man's back-up. A man whose carer totals look like this: 69 games, 835 minutes played, 255 points, 304 rebounds.

Wanna explain the logic here, Mark? We getting a Twin Towers thing going? Is Ewing going to preach to these guys how he and Bill Cartwright used to do it back in the 80's?

Dave said...

nice barb, jerry-- there's no way for me to defend north brunswick's finest links style course (tara greens). my only consolation is that you drove all the way from south brunswick (and spent gas money!) to play there.

Jerry said...

I really enjoyed the 3 consecutive parallel straight holes that were only seperated by a few trees and the one hole that was like 690 yards which gave the course a semi-respectable total yardage.