Monday, November 17, 2008

"Walter, he peed on my rug..."

At 7:30pm Halloween night, this is what your Doofus Overlord came up with as his first Halloween costume in roughly five years...

"That rug really tied the room together"

86 comments:

rob said...

dude?

TJ said...

Also, Dennis, chinaman is not the preferred nomenclature. Asian-American, please.

Rhymenocerous said...

When wearing that costume, does one wear a protective layer underneath the boxers to shield the twig and berries?

You wouldn't want a rogue ball to come out at a party. Nobody wins if that happens...

TJ said...

I did just that, wearing a pair of athletic shorts under said boxers, but honestly, I'm Irish, there wouldn't be much to poke out/see anyway.

rob said...

not for nothing, but there's been an awful lot of man-tackle discussion around these parts lately.

TJ said...

Dios Mio!

rob said...

well played, sir.

Shlara said...

are you guys going to comment on Mark Cuban's situation?

http://sports.espn.go.com/nba/news/story?id=3708124

Zoltan said...

I saw Iron Man this weekend and the Dude was a bad guy. It just didn't work for me.

rob said...

i think cuban's being framed, shlara.

TJ said...

By DeSagana Diop.

rob said...

we're down to just a pair of 2-loss teams in the acc: maryland and miami. the terps still must play florida state, while miami faces georgia tech and nc state. g:tb has upped the likelihood of 2 3-loss teams meeting in the acc title game to 63%.

TJ said...

And I've bumped that to 69%, because, well, because I'm so mature.

rob said...

if you argue that money drives all things bcs, and television ratings drive money (both of which are true), this could be a watershed year in terms of convincing the muckety-mucks that there may be a better way. consider this plausible bcs lineup:

rose bowl - oregon state v. penn state
fiesta bowl - texas v. utah
orange bowl - maryland v. usc
sugar bowl - alabama v. cincinnati
bcs championship - florida v. oklahoma

who, other than alums and degenerates, is watching the dreck that precedes the championship?

Jerry said...

It's just the Big East and ACC not having any top teams. Even if you had an 8 team playoff, every suggestion I've seen would have the conference champions getting automatic bids. So take those 10 teams, remove USC and either Texas or Alabama and that's your playoff field.

rob said...

i know it's not going to happen, but i'm a 16-team playoff guy. i'm really just pointing out the fact that this will be a down year for the bcs bowls. you (and bob knight) convinced me some time ago to relax and enjoy it.

Mark said...

I keep picturing Desagna Diop sitting in a big leather chair behind a desk and stroking a cat whilst saying, "Yes, yes. Excellent." Its really brightening up my day.

Mark said...

Oh, and Rob's Bob Knight/rape reference has helped my mood as well.

TJ said...

Cuban was screwed the minute Beeks got trapped with that gorilla on the train.

TJ said...

Mark, the search engines have spoken - they demand this from G:TB, and I nominate you to thoroughly offend our female readership:

2009 mock wnba draft

Mark said...

Oh god...that sounds fun. When is the WNBA Draft? I'll need some time to study up and dissect the scouting reports.

Of course by "study up and dissect the scouting reports", I mean get drunk and think of 5 to 10 torn ACL jokes.

TJ said...

I just went back and looked at my original WNBA draft recap, and it won't take much for you to top that debacle.

TJ said...

This wiki page is what you might call not helpful:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2009_WNBA_Draft

TJ said...

Oh brother. rob, look who's back:
http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=3708599

rob said...

can we pour him a warm glass of shut the fuck up and shuffle him off to bed already?

Mark said...

Anybody else excited for ESPN's 24 hours of hoops coverage to kickoff the college basketball season?

Yeah, I didn't think so.

rob said...

hell, i watched 20 minutes of william & mary/penn state over the weekend. i'll watch anything involving a large leather ball and a bunch of guys in shorts.

/vaguely uncomfortable post

Mark said...

You should love those old Red Auerbach instructional tapes they show on NBATV, Rob.

You know what I'm not excited about? Earnest Graham possibly being out for the season just as it seems Cadillac might finally be healthy enough to come back. Meanwhile, Warrick Dunn just keeps chugging along in perfect health in his mid 30s.

Fuck. Me.

Jerry said...

It's because Warrick Dunn is such a nice guy. His soul is free of pollution. His body if free of injury.

Whitney said...

Also, he was on the cover of Cat Fancy. That helps a lot.

TJ said...

Mark, that crazy duster chick episode of Intervention is on right now. She's walking around random cemetaries taking puffs.

TJ said...

Trent Edwards having a real difficult start to this game...

TJ said...

Get Losman in this game...now.

Zoltan said...

Flutie is available...

Zoltan said...

This just in ... Dick Jauron has one winning season in his 8-year career.

TJ said...

That fluke 13-3 year with the Bears?

Zoltan said...

Right, the year they ran the LSU offense with WR screens to Marcus Robinson. Luckily they signed Jauron to a 3-year extension.

Vince Ferragamo is available.

Zoltan said...

Or maybe it was LA Tech? Whatever. Jauron stinks.

TJ said...

You know who else stinks? The fucking Browns. How the hell are they up only 3 going into the half?

Zoltan said...

I need 8 points out of Braylon Edwards and Ryan Lindell to win my fantasy game. I bet Edwards scores a 1-yard TD so that both the Bills and my fantasy team lose.

Zoltan said...

There's absolutely no need to get the ball to Lee Evans.

Greg said...

None at all.

Zoltan said...

No need to cover Braylon Edwards on 3rd and 10 either. He's not too good at football.

Zoltan said...

I can't believe the last 3 plays. Crappy effort by Buffalo, then by Cleveland, then by Buffalo.

TJ said...

Jamal Lewis might want to get comfy on the bench.

TJ said...

Hey look the Browns are kicking a FG. Imagine that.

Zoltan said...

God in heaven.

TJ said...

Trent "Dump Pass" Edwards

Zoltan said...

24 attempts for 117 yards. Less than 5 yards/attempt. Pitiful.

Zoltan said...

No one deserves to win this game. Both teams should be given a loss.

TJ said...

Donovan McNabb thinks they should tie.

Greg said...

Wait, a tie? Has that ever happened before in the NFL?

TJ said...

Greg, is the Philly media killing McNabb for his dumbness?

Zoltan said...

Jim Kelly is available AND he's on the sidelines!

Zoltan said...

The Bills should just run punt and kick returns instead of offensive plays.

Greg said...

Yeah, but not as much as I thought they would. They're really more pissed at the overall crappiness of the Eagles.

TJ said...

Bills season on the line on this drive. Trent, try not to fuck this up.

Zoltan said...

$10 says Lindell misses the PAT.

TJ said...

I hope Romeo likes being a coordinator.

Zoltan said...

And the Browns run it back to win.

TJ said...

I'll take that in small bills.

Zoltan said...

Like Roscoe Parrish?

TJ said...

Oh brother...if Buffalo blows this, I will be scouring the web for the "drunken Bills fan kills someone" story tomorrow.

Zoltan said...

You should start your search with the Boston Herald.

TJ said...

I get jokes.

TJ said...

Suzy looks like the little mushroom character from Super Mario Brothers.

Zoltan said...

Between both teams only 6 different players have caught a pass. Both OC should be fired right now.

Greg said...

Speaking of peeing on rugs, I've had TWO chicks pee on my rug (not a euphemism) in the middle of the night. Both times I wake up to this tinkling sound, followed by shock and disgust, "What the fuck?! You're peeing on my floor!"

Zoltan said...

!@#$!#@$!@#$#%$&^

TJ said...

Phil Dawson...oh my.

TJ said...

Greg, I can't believe you saved that amusing anecdote until 11:45pm.

Zoltan said...

Why do I continue to root for this team?

TJ said...

This game is nuts...

Zoltan said...

I peed on TJ's rug one time.

TJ said...

You did? If so, I hope Lindell shanks his kick.

Greg said...

This game is entertaining right now.

Also, I have a great comeback line for both chicks, "hey, at least I'm housebroken."

Greg said...

Lindell will miss. I'm calling it now. 45 yards. Not going through.

TJ said...

Zoltan's gonna go murder someone...

Zoltan said...

At the time I was pissing on the rug because I thought I was in the other suite room.

Zoltan said...

If he made that kick I would have won my fantasy game. So that miss lost it for the Bills and my fantasy team.

Every time I hear wide right I get angry.

Greg said...

Yeah. Good thing I'm in....um....St. Louis.

TJ said...

Well, the Bills just pissed on your rug, man.

Zoltan said...

I'm actually in pain. My ulcer is acting up.

Zoltan said...

Fuck you, Scott Van Pelt.

Whitney said...

Jim Kelly just had the same look we do when a certain Pink Floyd song comes on randomly.

Zoltan said...

He had a flashback to January 27, 1991.