Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Weekly Exercise in Superfan Futility

It seems like only yesterday we stepped up, if only briefly, from the ignominy of futility to the comparative glory of mediocrity. I think we all remember the words of an unknown but masterfully understated undergraduate, who opined via posterboard, “That Just Happened”. Now that we’ve tasted the sweet, sweet nectar of almost being good enough to get hammered by a #2 seed in the NCAA tournament (tastes a little like slightly overripe avocado), we’ll stop at nothing to have it again*.

After a lackluster, though probably predictable opening weekend in the dreary midwest, the 0-2 William and Mary Tribe return to bucolic Williamsburg to host a pair of out-of-conference tilts. And G:TB picks up where we left off as the internet’s 3rd or 4th leading purveyor of obscure W&M hoops previews and arcana.

Wednesday, November 19 – Norfolk State @ William and Mary

Get a load of Norfolk State's logo. Unless I miss my guess, that's supposed to be a female Spartan in full battle regalia there on the right. That's a historical inaccuracy of epic proportion. And there's nothing that fires up William and Mary kids more than historical inaccuracies, except maybe grammatical errors. In an homage to NSU's most famous alum, the Tribe breaks out the Venus Flytrap defense and beats the Spartans by 15.

Saturday, November 22 – Navy @ William and Mary

David Robinson’s not walking through that door. Neither is his brother, Chuck, who wasn’t nearly as good. Vernon Butler isn’t walking through that door, and if he did, I wouldn't recognize him. The Middies lost to W&M's conference brethren Towson by 18 to open their season. This is another one Danny Sumner, David Schneider, Peter Stein, and the boys should win easily.

Sumner's the only Tribe player averaging double figures after two games, and even he's only shooting 42.3% from the floor - which is admittedly better than the team's overall 40.6% mark. Newcomer and Arkansas transfer Sean McCurdy's dropped 8 dimes to date, but turned the ball over 10 times. The Tribe's only connecting on 26.3% of its 3-point attempts while yielding a 48.5% rate to their opponents. We're gonna chalk all these bleak numbers up to small sample size and assume that the good guys right the ship this week at home.

* - Overstated for effect, as a) we actually have no bearing on whether we get to taste anything in this metaphor, and b) there are probably limits to how far we’d go to taste this (again, metaphorical) nectar. Maybe not for Whitney, though, he’s pretty much a slave to his impulses.

83 comments:

rob said...

do *not* do a google image search for 'spartan women'.

T.J. said...

That's also in Rhymo's wheelhouse...

T.J. said...

"LOST IN SPACE: Missing tool bag forces changes to Endeavour plans..."

Man, Bono fucks up everything.

zman said...

"Sumner Schneider and Stein" is a convincing name for a law firm, but not for a troika of basketball players.

Marls said...

Unless it is the 1948 CCNY squad.

rob said...

it's a fair sight better than small, cox, and peters.

T.J. said...

Or Dewey, Cheatem & Howe.

rob said...

alas, poor coco. i knew him well.

T.J. said...

rob, yawn:

Boston has agreed to send center fielder Coco Crisp to the Royals in exchange for right-handed reliever Ramon Ramirez, ESPN Radio 810 in Kansas City reported Wednesday.

Whitney said...

You'll miss Coco Crisp a fair bit less than we all miss Koko Goldstein.

T.J. said...

Or Koko B. Ware

T.J. said...

This is, well, I'm not sure what this is...

Greg said...

What about Koko's ghost? He spooked the smooth into Michael Jackson.

T.J. said...

I realize everyone is very fired up for TX Tech/OK this weekend, but the real game of the weekend is the impending Wazzu/WA disaster in the Pacific NW. Can the Fighting Tys muster a win?

rob said...

us of a looking sharp this evening. klestan and altidore combining nicely and adu controlling the midfield. klestan's a weird-looking cat, tho.

T.J. said...

Soccer? Screw that, turn to the MAC West battle on the deuce.

rob said...

jozy altidore is really good.

rob said...

tribe gets the win by 16, and mgl wasn't kidding about uncw's defense - they've allowed 102 to wake with 5 minutes left to play.

T.J. said...

Entertaining Charlotte/Appy St game on MASN right now...

T.J. said...

Am I the only one who is surprised Pacman was reinstated so quickly and easily?

T.J. said...

We got overtime on MASN...

Mark said...

No TJ, I'm quite sure you weren't the only one surprised.

There's an absurd amount of good/interesting sporting contests on the television tonight.

Mark said...

The snow's a nice touch in this Ball State-Central Michigan game.

T.J. said...

Starting to snow in this Ball St/Cent Mich game too.

T.J. said...

Damn you Mark

Mark said...

TJ...stop copying me.

T.J. said...

You should see all my tats.

Mark said...

Nice long ball and cross by the US.

T.J. said...

Oh this Appy St/Charlotte game is gooood

Mark said...

Its in OT, yes?

T.J. said...

Double OT baybee

Mark said...

My gf just called me and said she saw Darryl Strawberry at the Cheesecake Factory in Tampa. I had no idea she even knew who he was.

T.J. said...

I hope she tipped him well.

T.J. said...

Wow the Wiz just gave another game away. 1-8 now.

Mark said...

Quite a football game this MAC battle is turning into...

T.J. said...

I've got a Dan LeFevour, and...well, you know the rest.

Mark said...

TJ, stick your foot and lets go get some money!

T.J. said...

The years have not been kind to Nancy Lieberman.

Mark said...

You know how you can be sure the Mavericks suck?

Gerald Green starts.

T.J. said...

Diop went to Oak Hill?

Mark said...

He was like the 8th pick in the draft. I think he went to Oak Hill for two years.

T.J. said...

The co-eds at Appy St are trifling.

Mark said...

And hairy.

Whitney said...

What channel is the App State game on?

And Nancy Lieberman is a god down here. (sic)

T.J. said...

MASN...possible triple OT coming.

rob said...

freddy adu!

T.J. said...

Appy St survives!!!

rob said...

i've been to appy state. the coeds are anything but trifling.

T.J. said...

Well the fat/pregnant chicks right behind the basket indicated otherwise, oh defender of the toothless and inbred.

T.J. said...

I'm not sure I could hate a studio show more than this team of Stu Yah, Jalen and Squeaky.

Mark said...

You should really see the NBATV halftime show of Ahmad, Payton and Webber.

T.J. said...

They should be forced to play 3-on-3, loser has to retire from TV. Forever.

Mark said...

Nice tackling, Chippewas.

T.J. said...

This MAC game is really picking up steam...

T.J. said...

More Cowbell is quite shifty for a QB

Whitney said...

Wizards were horrible down the stretch tonight. You could pick any 5 of your co-workers (any of you) and they'd have been no less successful.

Mark said...

LeFevour is pretty mobile. Some assholes were calling him the MAC Tebow last year due to his run stats.

He's got a bit of an awkward throwing motion, no?

T.J. said...

That, and he looks 13 yrs old.

Mark said...

Wow...great throw and even better catch.

T.J. said...

Cock. Balls(tate).

Mark said...

Doesn't this game feel like it has to go to OT?

Mark said...

Or not.

T.J. said...

That's a terrible play call.

Mark said...

Thats a horrible fake punt call. 4th and 18? C'mon, there's 4 minutes left.

T.J. said...

OK Chippewas, its gonna take a Herculean effort to get this into OT.

T.J. said...

Yikes.

Mark said...

Jason Whitlock's gonna celebrate by eating 10 racks of ribs.

Mark said...

Whitlock just hung up his phone...

T.J. said...

Hold the phone...that INT hit the ground.

Mark said...

TJ...seriously?

T.J. said...

58 seconds...87 yards...can More Cowbell pull it off?

T.J. said...

Mark, get the fuck out of my brain. And I just jinxed them. Dammit.

Mark said...

Uhh, no.

Mark said...

Somebody get Whitlock a side of sweet potato fries.

T.J. said...

And a dozen Krispy Kremes.

T.J. said...

I hope Moxon can lead West Canaan to victory...

Mark said...

God, you love that movie.

T.J. said...

I DON'T WANT YOUR LIFE

T.J. said...

Has anyone been watching this Sons of Anarchy show on F/X?

T.J. said...

I think the Lions should run the Ooopty Oop offense this weekend.

And how come the game officials never made Tweeter tuck in his jersey?

Mark said...

Greg and I both watch Sons of Anarchy. Its pretty good. Be a lot better on HBO.

Mark said...

Insert "It would" appropriately in that last comment.

T.J. said...

"Be a lot better on HBO, it would"

Mark/Yoda, no difference really.