Thursday, November 13, 2008

The Feud is Over...

No, not the feud between Burr and I. That, like Greg's herpes, will never die. I'm speaking of the long running feud I've had with Sonic. As some of you may have realized during my time on the staff here at G:TB, I'm completely irrational. I find slights where there are none and I create feuds where other people find joy and fulfillment. Its my gift. For example, I refused to even try a Gatorade flavor that was introduced after Citrus Cooler (mmmm) for almost a decade (maybe longer, I'm not going to bother looking up when CC was introduced). Why? Because I took offense at Gatorade creating all these bullshit flavors like Mango and Riptide Rush (Seriously, what the fuck?) and wasn't going to let my consumerism be a part of the problem. I alone will fight the power. Alas, I am only a man and finally relented when Gatorade introduced Lemonade as a flavor a couple of years back. It was a good choice, the lemonade flavor is truly amazing, A triumph in flavor engineering, if you will.

Why am I telling you all this? Because while my boycott of the new Gatorade flavors may have died a lonely death, my boycott of Sonic has been going strong for years now. It really doesn't make sense. I mean, this "restaurant" serves tater tots, has a plethora of drink/shake options, and is constantly revamping its menu with new and innovative (if extremely unheallthy) food options. However, like I said, I am extremely dedicated and irrational. So, I held firm. I've never so much as set foot on Sonic property and wasn't about to let their original menu or entertaining commercials (see below...thanks Whit) sway me. That is, until last night. Evidently, Sonic now offers something called "Sausage Biscuit Dippers". Which is essentially three small sausage biscuits with milk gravy to dip them in.

Consider my white flag waved, people of Sonic, Inc. I can no longer keep fighting the good fight. You've successfully tapped into my inner southern fat kid and you've finally broken me. I don't know when I'll be making my first trip to Sonic but its a sure bet it will be soon and I'll be consuming some Sausage Biscuit Dippers with a side of tater tots. I am, after all, only human.

18 comments:

Whitney said...

Mark, I am curious . . . what led you to boycott Sonic in the first place?

I myself have a slate of active and retired boycotts. I was most passionate about the self-ban on the Foo Fighters and the Wendy's on Lee Hwy in Arlington. The former I have since shelved, the latter got a lifetime ban shortly after a reinstatement.

Greg said...

I still have a ban on mayonaise, Kansas State, Creed and "made-up-sauces-that-are-really-just-mayo-with-food coloring-and-some-spices-in-it-but-you-would-not-know-that-from-the-name-because-the-restaurant-made-it-up."

Mark said...

Greg, are you saying that you have a personal boycott on Guthrie's Sauce? If so, consider me hurt.

As for why I originally boycotted Sonic, the food just looked so greasy and awful when Sonic and its commercials started working its way south. Even the tater tots gleamed with grease on tv. I felt like it was a little white trash (think Krystal) and might make my ass bleed (like Krystal).

It stopped being about Sonic and being about me not giving in a couple of years ago.

rob said...

posts like this are why gtb exists. brilliant work, mark. my long list of ongoing boycotts includes counting crows (the band, not the activity), smashing pumpkins (both the band and the activity), the wendy's on lee highway, and anheuser-busch products.

TJ said...

All but three vegetables, umbrellas AND the Wendy's on Lee Highway.

Mark said...

Maybe one of you should write something about the Wendy's on Lee Highway.

Rhymenocerous said...

Crushing turn of events in the Rezvandome - no Johnny Black in the bar, only two glasses worth of Macallan single malt.

This is probably a good thing, but it brings me sadness nonetheless.

Favre's first 2 completions netted 4 yards. Ugh.

TJ said...

Leon Washington TD?

I'm stuck in a Charlotte hotel room with Va Tech/Miami game...hotel bar does not have NFL Network.

Rhymenocerous said...

Leon put them up 7-0. Pats just marched down and got a 42 yd figgie to cut it to 7-3.

Jets won a challenge on their TD drive that was key. Coles dragged feet and had possession on a sideline pass. Ref's call was overruled.

Rhymenocerous said...

10-3 Jets after 2 impressive drives that chewed up 11 minutes in the 1st qtr.

The NFL Network seems averse to instant replay. No replay of Brad Smith's 12 yd "wildcat run," no replay of the 15 yd late hit on the Pats, no late hit on 2 passes to Keller.

Jerrod Mayo hurt = good times for the Jets. Jerrod Bunch, working at an Arby's in Albany, is less enthused...

Whitney said...

Jets went up 24-6, looked dominant. I thought, "Dang, Rhyme-o was dead-on."

Jets now up 24-21. Just fumbled the ball away. I'm thinking, "Dang, I wish Rhyme-o had some Johnnie Walker Black, because I think I was dead-on -- this team hasn't learned how to hang on and win against tough opponents."

Rhymenocerous said...

Shut up Whitney.

Rhymenocerous said...

NFL Network's coverage has been horrendous. No mention of why the Jets have back-ups all over the place. Is David Bowens hurt? I won't know from NFL Network.

Zoltan said...

Matt Cassel is not having a stinker, but he is leading the Pats in carries and rushing yards.

I guess it's stupid of me to ask if you already polished off that bottle of scotch I brought over at Christmas?

Zoltan said...

If Matt Cassel leads a TD drive here I'm going to rupture my own eardrums so I don't have to continue to listen to how brilliant Belichick is for not getting a veteran backup QB.

Zoltan said...

I am sticking a pen in my ear.

Rhymenocerous said...

You may be sticking your pen in your ear, but I am sticking my penis in my wife.

To quote Troy Aikman, Brett Favre played a heckuva game tonight. Good times all around. And I am all out of scotch in my bar, so yours has been long gone (though long appreciated).

Next stop for Gang Green is a road game in Tennessee. "Why Can't Us?"

Greg said...

Why can't we is?