Thursday, November 20, 2008

It's the title of this article that really got me

Driver loses control after sneeze, hits river

BOSTON (AP) - An untimely sneeze nearly cost Andrew Hanson his life. The 42-year-old Weymouth man told authorities that a sneeze caused him to lose control of his pickup on Soldiers Field Road and plunge into Boston's Charles River on Tuesday.

Hanson was able to wade to shore after escaping from the truck, which was partially submerged in 4 feet of water. He was not seriously injured but was taken to a hospital as a precaution.

Lawrence Callahan of the Massachusetts Department of Conservation and Recreation said Hanson told him that after he sneezed, "the next thing he knew he was in the river."
I mean, I guess he's lucky he didn't sneeze and hit, oh, a tree I guess. Or a brick wall. Or the broadside of a barn. But really, not to play semantics here, but can someone really "hit a river"? A river, especially the Charles, is pretty hard not to "hit" if careening out of control in Boston. Am I being a callous pissant this morning? Absolutely.

15 comments:

rob said...

i think the first sentence of that piece is an exercise in hyperbole. the truck was submerged in 4 feet of water. he didn't almost lose his life. if there were sharks in the river, maybe. i demand more accountability from the media.

TJ said...

It's typical Boston nonsense. I blame Zoltan.

zoltan said...

In all fairness, there isn't much of a shoulder along that particular stretch of Soldier Field Road. Don't get me started on DC reporting.

TJ said...

And what's the deal with having a road in Boston named "Soldier Field Road"?

rob said...

soldier field river sharks would be a terrible name for a football team.

Rhymenocerous said...

"soldier field river shark"

That's what I call my johnson.

Geoff said...

I call mine "Dave."

zoltan said...

Harvard has a football field called Soldier (or Soldiers?) Field. The road that runs past it is Soldier Field Road.

zoltan said...

I call my johnson ocho cinquo.

rob said...

so i just got this email, and i can't tell you psyched i am:

Hold onto your juice boxes. And get ready to hit the pavement cross-country with "Road to MLS Cup." Join five MLS stars as they team up with one determined soccer mom and the all-new minivan, and head off on an adventure-packed, epic cross-country quest to bring the MLS Cup Trophy to Los Angeles in time for MLS Cup on November 23rd.

Online, you can get up close and personal with your favorite MLS stars, check out the MLS Cup Trophy and meet Deb, the soccer mom responsible for getting them all to LA on time.

Don't miss the Minivan Miniseries now playing on vwroadtomlscup.com.

Televised coverage of the MLS Cup game begins Sunday, 11.23.08, on ABC and ABC HD, 3:30 pm ET/12:30 pm PT, Live.

Rhymenocerous said...

Good to point that out, Rob! It sounds awesome!

Maybe we can fill that van with Tribe MLS alums. Paul Grafer, Wade Barret, Adin Brown and Steve Jolley can regale the socccer mom with tales of bush.

Busch Field, that is...

rob said...

'hey deb, wanna see how it bends like beckham's?'

Whitney said...

The professor I took 5 Sociology classes with at W&M once proclaimed in mid-lecture (and therefore I treat it as Gospel) that this third leading cause of traffic accidents was masturbation.

Yeah, he had tenure.

TJ said...

Eddie Griffin is looking down and nodding.

Geoff said...

If you didn't car jack it at least once driving home from hs practice after watchimng the field hockey team jog by...well, you're lying.