Monday, August 04, 2008

Latest on Brett!

Just wanted to pass along some tidbits I recently heard in the news regarding Green Bay's quarterback situation:

ESPN's Ed Werder is reporting that Brett Favre is currently in a toilet in the Green Bay Packer locker room, purging himself of a 17", corn-filled shit. However, ESPN's Chris Mortensen is reporting that Favre has not eaten a single kernel of corn in the last week in Mississippi, and that he may, in fact, be suffering from several hemorrhoids the size of corn kernels.

The hemorrhoid speculation may be answered when Favre bikes to practice tomorrow. Peter King, who has been in the stall with Favre for the last hour (but remains mum on the situation) says that a hemorrhoid-ravaged Favre would be more likely to borrow a beach cruiser with a large foam seat from a young Packer fan to ease the pain as he bikes to the practice field tomorrow. He might also ride a bike standing up and/or ride on the back pegs of a bicycle while it was pedaled by a young Wisconsin native. Should we see Favre's rump seated on a BMX bike as he pedals to the practice field, we can be assured that his rectum is fine. Or that he is a warrior.

So we wait with baited breath to see how Brett Favre gets from the locker room to the practice field tomorrow. The pictures will answer the Corn Poo vs. Hemmy debate raging across our nation's heartland.


Mark said...

This just in:

Charles Haley is in the stall next to Brett and he's masturbating to Deanna Favre. Peter King is unbelievably aroused by this.

TJ said...

I like Mark doing bits in two posts at once.

Mark said...

I'm nothing if not thorough.