Thursday, September 05, 2013

Fantasy Football 2013: In Spiller We Trust


So, it seems Team G:TB has a favorite fantasy football player this year, Buffalo Bills running back C.J. Spiller. Despite Spiller being a member of a downtrodden franchise with an untested rookie at quarterback and a dude who captained Syracuse last year as his head coach, quite a few of us found it necessary to add Spiller to our 2013 fantasy rosters. This can only mean one thing for poor Mr. Spiller (and our teams): CATASTROPHIC DISASTER.

The Curse of G:TB is very real, so you can expect Spiller's knee to implode sometime during his Week 3 contest with the laughable Jets "team". Let's take a look, then, at which of us will have a sad when Spiller inevitably goes down and ruins our fantasy season:

zroster:
As it was explained to us in an email, zman is in an "an ancient home run league. Not standard or PPR." What the fuck does that mean, you ask? I'll let him explain: "You get points for TD with bonuses based on length. Out of position scores (e.g., rushing TD by a WR or QB) count double. Before you tell me this is stupid, note that the league is over 20 years old and back then scoring was a pain in the ass without the internet." It should be noted that zman wisely added Fred Jackson as the handcuff to the Spiller selection, 'cause he's a Bills fan, and knows what is going to happen to poor Mr. Spiller.


Teej roster:
I'm in a PPR keeper league, and because of my rock solid second-to-last showing last year had the #2 pick in this year's draft. The guy picking #1 surprised me by taking Calvin Johnson, so I was actually left with a quandary: take Spiller, or LeSean McCoy, who I had just assumed would be the only viable back left for me at #2. Because I waffled and took Spiller over McCoy, you just know Spiller is going down. However, I too took Jackson as a handcuff.


Mark roster:
Mark is apparently too lazy to send us his entire roster. Or tell us whether he is in a PPR or Standard scoring league. Asshole.


Clarence roster:
Actually, Mark looks great compared to Clarence, who told us he does have Spiller on his fantasy roster, but apparently can't manage to take a screen shot of his team. Solid work, chief. [AFTERNOON UPDATE: Clarence has risen...and sent his roster.]


Anyone else out there in the G:TB Universe have Spiller on their roster? Want to commiserate with us chumps before the injury occurs? Join us in the comments and let us know.

47 comments:

zman said...

I prefer to think of Jackson as Spiller's fingercuff.

Mark said...

I didn't know you wanted my whole team. Don't you do communications as a professional? And I'm in a standard league.

T.J. said...

Indeed I do

zman said...

Mark, I note that you're starting two Bills. You know the Bills are bad, right?

rob said...

spiller went 12th in our draft. 12th! i think people knew of the gtb curse.

T.J. said...

and it was not a keeper league?

Mark said...

I'm not starting two Bills. Hadn't adjusted my lineup yet. I know the Bills will be bad but I grabbed Stevie Johnson as my 4th WR. He was easily the best option in the board (IMO) at that point.

Mark said...

Wow, my team looks terrible pre lineup adjustments. It's not nearly that bad. I swear.

T.J. said...

Ha - send me a pic of the revamped starting lineup, and I'll swap it out.

Danimal said...

Had Spiller last year...got him late...at least the 9th and maybe a few rounds later. Memory bad.. Won it all and am currently semi-retired. Spiller killed it early...then leveled off. Nice kid. Very coachable and a joy in the locker room. You'll be happy to have him.

Talk to ya's on wed....going back east which is very much like Copenhagen, but different.

T.J. said...

have fun in China, commie

Danimal said...

Oh...you bet. It's all about having fun, man.
About to get yelled at by flight attendant. Going dark in 3....2.....1....

T.J. said...

Mark's revamped lineup has been added.

zman said...

I assume Mark is in a keeper league. I could only keep two of Rodgers, Spiller, Martin, and Charles and I probably should've kepts Martin instead of Rodgers because Newton and Ryan were available in the 4th but, much like Rosario Dawson, Rodgers is my fantasy boo and I couldn't let him go.

rob said...

if you've got to be in an airport for business travel, daydrinking makes it a lot better.

Mark said...

Not in a keeper league. Just a league where some really dumb people participate. Like Eric Decker drafted in the 2nd round level dumb.

rob said...

my draft this year was the worst i can remember. gambled, lost several times. wound up drafting a qb way earlier than i prefer. putting a lot of faith in my ability to find a running back from the scrap heap.

zman said...

You pretty much have to find one in the scrap heap unless you're in a keeper league, in which case you found one in the scrap heap last year. I gambled and lost at the dinner table one time. TR was amused.

Clarence said...

Hey, Teej -- shut it.

T.J. said...

Clarence has sent in his roster...

T.J. said...

My RB situation after Spiller and the Italian Stallion Giovani Bernard is dicey at best.

rob said...

as is mine after matt forte and the aforementioned bernard. and bernard as #2 is dicey in its own right.

rob said...

fantasy football talk is great for ratings, right?

zman said...

You're worried because we're such a highly trafficked site?

I made it a point to avoid Cecil Shorts, Darren McFadden, and Ryan Mathews. I guarantee Pro Bowl years from all three.

Mark said...

Everybody cares about OUR fantasy teams.

rob said...

cecil sharts, though, keeper

Mark said...

I think Cecil Shorts is really good. He just has shitty QBs. Unlike Matthews and McFadden who are fragile. And suck.

Mark said...

Former Brazilian star Oscar Schmidt is being presented to the Basketball HOF by Larry Bird. Very, very cool.

Shlara said...

Do you think we can keep Spiller around for the NBA fantasy draft? I'll add him to my team and never change the roster--will probably do better with him in there than I did last year

Dave said...

catching up, and zman, i had similar experiences in amsterdam and prague. so many smooth skinned pretty girls on bicycles that i sustained some serious whiplash.

i am drinking a beer called "ellie's brown ale" that not only is delicious, but also has a picture of my dog on the can.

Jerry said...

Spiller slipping to 12 was ridiculous. It's not the same format as zman's league, but it does suffer from some archaic, 1992-style structure.

I should praise rob though, as the only person other than me who was actually paying attention during the draft. The CBS site gives you the total time people spent picking on the draft results page. We were the only 2 under 5 minutes total. The next lowest was almost 10. Three people were over 25 minutes for a 16 round draft.

The whole thing was wrapped up in a cool 3 hours and 20 minutes.

rob said...

all that paying attention reality translated to a quality squadron. maybe next year i'll dick around more.

zman said...

Soundgarden sold out to Toyota!? With "Rusty Cage" nonetheless?!? SMH.

Marls said...

Spiller.... I don't even know her

Jerry said...

And all my paying attention got me Julius Thomas sitting on my bench

zman said...

How are we only six minutes into the third quarter? I'm too old for this.

zman said...

Peyton Manning is on pace for 80 TD. Can't wait or ESPN to start hyping this up.

T.J. said...

Oh my...I see my fantasy QB had quite the game. Holy shit.

rob said...

that qb i drafted too early? peyton manning. draft looks slightly better this morning.

Mark said...

Did any employed people over the age of 30 who aren't Broncos or Ravens fans stay up for the entire game last night? Seems unlikely.

zman said...

Now he's on pace for 112 TD!

Squeaky said...

I do not have Spiller. But I was super lazy this year and outsourced my draft to someone else.

I'm feeling pretty good about my apathy.

Mark said...

Florida-Miami is a noon kickoff tomorrow. In South Florida. In early September. This is lunacy, and a large part of why I won't be attending this game.

Jerry said...

It's insane. Florida-Miami had a 4:30 kickoff in Gainesville in 2002 (I think) and we almost died of dehydration or exhaustion - felt about as bad as Florida looked in that game. The activities of the 2 previous nights didn't help much either.

Jerry said...

Plus, the noon window these days is for choosing not to watch Penn State, Iowa, and Boston College games. There shouldn't be a game I want to watch at noon.

Clarence said...

Mark, I stayed up for the game. There were free beers involved.

amanda young said...

It could be a party I guess.. Amanda Vanderpool