Saturday, September 21, 2013

TTP Week 4: Where Danimal Sends Picks Written On Tuesday



Have to go to Parents Weekend right now, here are your combatants, unedited (and without links or pics)

Danimal Picks

use this…found a typo! dammmit.
early pick while the nd line at 7 and md line at 6.5…note, I wrote this yesterday.
both of my lines have moved…2 points in my favor on the nd game and 1.5 on the md game… just in case anyone says, “hey…what’s the dillio?...” okay tough guy?

Coming in at 4-5 to Mark’s 7-2, The Danimal (TD) needs to make a push here in Week 4. Does it seem small if I keep adding my money bet record is also at 7-2? Well color me Rob. Why don’t I bet the same you ask? Well, last week I did, 3 of the 4 games anyway with the other being an anti-Jags bet. Yeah, I’m a fan of theirs but right now I’m just rooting for #1 Draft Pick.

West Virginia +6.5 at Maryland: When was the last time Maryland was a favorite against the Mountaineers? Nineteen hundred and Never is my guess. That’s irrelevant now. Doesn’t matter. What matters is today people! Maryland is 3-0! They’ve scored 40+ points per game!
The ‘eers, remember them – they almost lost to the Lame’o’s of Laycock. At home! Twerps are producing some points by way of the airways too, which is not a stregthfth of the boys from Mo-town, defending the pass that is. And that’s why I’m going with the Magic from Motown! Huh? Well I failed to mention the Terps’ wins were against Florida International, ODU, and UConn, a combined 1-7. At least WVU went into Norman and gave ‘em a run. And since College Park is within 500 miles of West by God, you’ll see many a muskets and coonskin caps around town, making Dana’s boys feel right at home. And who names their kid Dana? I feel bad for him. Come here buddy, let’s hug it out! TAKE ME HOOOOOME COUNTRY ROOOOAAADS…..TO THE PLACE…..I BELONG WEST VIRGINIAAAA MOUNTAINEERS! 

Michigan State +7 at ND: Wait what?! Huh? Before seeing this line I would have thought at best that it would have been a pick’em and 3,4 points at most in favor of the Irish. The greeny’s from East Lansing I am told are strong to very strong as dogs on the road. These are two average teams, one of which has YET to cover a spread. I’m expecting a real close one here because Notre Dame simply aren’t world beaters. To steal a little bit of Guy Fieri’s schtick… “ya got the great record against the spread on the road, ND’s struggles against everyone due to a lackluster D, and a rivalry that typically begets last minute drama, and I gotta take the Spartans with me to Flavortown!”

North Texas vs Georgia Over/Under 66.5: The final score to this game will be 49-17. Forty-nine plus seventeen = sixty-six. Sixty-six << sixty-six and a half. ‘Nuff said.

Mark Picks

Holy shit this is one lackluster week in college football. Unless you have a particular rooting interest in a specific game, laying some money down on a few games might be the only way to make watching this Saturday full of dog baby games worth it. Luckily for me, Florida takes on Tennessee to kick off their SEC season AND I'm a degenerate gambler. So, per usual, a big fall Saturday is in store for me. And, since you're reading this, that also means some wagering advice for you.

Michigan (-17.5) at UConn: Danimal was a week early in taking Michigan. I can't say I blame him though. He watched the Wolverines take a part his beloved Fighting Irish two weeks ago in impressive fashion. Then he saw Toledo coming to town and figured there was no way a MAC team led by not one, but two Bowden brothers was ripe for the picking. It made sense at the time. Terry and Jeff nearly destroyed two prominent southern football programs in Auburn and FSU, respectively, and Akron hadn't won a road game in 27 consecutive attempts (now 28). Unfortunately for Danimal, last week was the classic let down game. Michigan was uninspired and sluggish for the noon kickoff against the Zips (RAYCESS!) and they barely left Michigan Stadium with a win. Michigan reverts to the form of their first two games this week against the Huskies. Partially because Michigan is a good football team who will be focused after narrowly avoiding a monumental upset, and partially because UConn is hot garbage. Hot, Italian, Paul Pasqualoni led garbage. Hail to the 18 or more point victors.

Arizona State @ Stanford (-5.5): This line started at Stanford (-7.5) and has dropped a full two points this week. I can't quite understand why enough people would be betting the Sun Devils to affect the line so dramatically, but I'm happy to take the extra points. Stanford Head Coach David Shaw has taken what Jim Harbaugh started at Stanford and kept it rolling. In fact, you could make the case he's increased the visibility and success of the Cardinal. I don't buy Arizona State. They are the west coast's poor man's Clemson. I'll believe they're a legit top 25 program when i see it consistently. Not when they luck into a win against a down Wisconsin team at home because the PAC-12 secretly substituted an ACC officiating crew for maximum fuckupedness (not a word but I like it). Stanford is much better than Arizona State. Cardinal win.

Question: What's more impressive?
This TED speech by David Shaw?



Or the girls at ASU? I'll hang up and listen



Missouri (-2) @ Indiana: This game has actually dropped to a pick 'em (but I took the Tigers a few days back). Which shows you the lack of respect that bettors have for Missouri. Indiana, per usual is absolutely awful. The Hoosiers gave up 41 points and lost at home to an very average Navy team. Missouri returns their starting QB and a number of other offensive skill position players but struggled at home against Toledo. I think Missouri will win by more than a TD but that probably had more to do with the long and storied history of Indiana Football suckitude than anything with Missouri. How the fuck did the SEC let such a shitty program Like Mizzou in to their exclusive party? Fuck if I know. Either way, the worst of the three SEC Tigers win.

80 comments:

Mark said...

I'm glad I sent my picks to TJ early Friday morning so he had time to properly edit this post.

T.J. said...

So hungover

T.J. said...

Also, go fuck yourself. Pretty sure you know how to edit a post.

Danimal said...

Just saw a sign at college game day in Fargo that reads...."crap on me Sam ponder". Stay classy Fargo!

Danimal said...

And no shit on the crap wkd slate of games. Fargo North Dakota????

Clarence said...

I have been to Fargo and had a hell of a good time there. Ya sure. You betcha.

Mark said...

It's a big time deal, Danimal. Don't cha know.

Hey Teej! Enjoy parents weekend!!

zman said...

Klosterman hates Danimal and vice versa. And further proof that I went to the wrong school.

T.J. said...

Rugby!!!

zman said...

According to Arian Foster, the dining halls aren't open on the weekend at Tennessee. Doesn't sound accurate to me.

http://espn.go.com/college-football/story/_/id/9698504/arian-foster-says-took-benefits-playing-tennessee-volunteers

Danimal said...

Klosterman hates Danimal?

Mark said...

Good feature on Teddy B on Gameday. Great high school footage of him.

Mark said...

Klosterman went to NDSU, Dan.

rob said...

ohio state is playing famu? that seems fair.

Mark said...

No worse than Miami playing Savannah State. Hurricanes are -66.5 in case you were wondering.

T.J. said...

Nice post pic

Mark said...

UGA struggaling against North Texas.

I'm not putting money on it but I think Florida covers the 17 point spread against Tennessee. And man, I fucking hate Tennessee. I don't give a shit about an 8 year winning streak. Florida could win for 38 straight years and that wouldn't be enough for me. Fuck Tennessee.

Mark said...

Tennessee is starting a redshirt freshman QB in the Swamp today. His first ever start. Good luck buddy!

Danimal said...

Mark....I got the gators giving 15....started out at 17. Hopefully that is easy peezy.

Mark said...

Florida just announced their starting RT, starting CB, third down back and 3rd WR are all out for today's game. Scratch that prediction of covering the 17 point spread. It's probably time to start drinking.

Danimal said...

Was not aware klosty went to ndsu. You guys know everything. Gee whiz.
Saw some cream soda at the store. Bought the cream soda. Mixed vodka with the cream soda. Drinking the vodka mixed with the cream soda. Liking the vodka mixed with the cream soda.

Mark said...

Re: Florida's RT. He's actually the backup RT because the starter tore his labrum and is out for the year. So they'll be starting a guard at tackle, or a third string tackle. Yaaaaay!

Mark said...

FIU requested a running clock at some point during the 4th quarter against Louisville. That's fucking shameful.

Donna said...

Ok, because my middle son is pissed off at me, my husband is pissed off at me, and I'm ignoring all goings on by watching football on tv and reading anything on-line about sports (which means football and you guys), thought I'd comment....

Isn't it shameful Louisville and OSU running their scores into high heaven like they have today?

Is Marshall going to pull off this win over VA Tech?

And BTW, the quarterback the year after the horrible tragedy at Marshall, when the football team died (nearly all of them), the guy who became their quarterback that following season...he's a very successful businessman and incredibly nice guy who lives in town that we do, AND he's a member of the church where my husband is pastor. Cool right?!

Y'all have good day. Just saw interception by VA Tech so maybe not...or maybe OT...we shall see.

Danimal said...

The vatech game is something....Donna...tell your son and hubby to e.a.b.o.d....that usually works.

Sweatin out this ga game. Oddsmakers never cease to amaze me.

Mark said...

Well, this is fun.

Danimal said...

And the terps....holy cow.
Was the over/under in the duke Pitt game 113?

Mark said...

More injuries for Florida. Im guessing Halapio is done for the year I bet with his torn pec. So many injuries. This season feels cursed.

Danimal said...

MSU has a guy named shlique....rhymes with slick. And he is funny.

Mark said...

Florida has the best defense in the country. Too bad they have to carry one of country's worst offenses.

Danimal said...

Rees is going to have 70 attempts today.
Msu's def backfield is very good. Nd playing a #'s game....out of 70 attempts they'll get 2 big plays. That might be enough to win today. Might.

T.J. said...

Does Florida even have a backup QB?

Mark said...

We do. His name is (Dave Chapelle as Rick James) TYLER MURPHY!!

Danimal said...

So holgorsons last year?

zman said...

What did the five fingers say to the face?

rob said...

wow, that georgia game is a bad beat for the pride of harrisonburg/winchester/jacksonville. condolences, danimal. maryland, on the other hand.

Danimal said...

Rob....re-read. Did you go to JMU? I got the score wrong but point total right,, and the under.

Danimal said...

So did uf just miss a effing fg?

Danimal said...

Nd is going to squander this away. Play calling sketchy.

Mark said...

Jeff Driskel is out for the year. Tyler Murphy is the new starting QB at Florida. Im far less upset about this than I wouldve guessed this morning. What a weird game.

Mark said...

Over/Under on me yelling 'TYLER MURPHY!!!!' this season is set at 1000. Take the over.

Danimal said...

Stanford is kinda good.

rob said...

huh, saw that score as 45-24. carry on. nice work, danimal. maryland, on the other hand.

Danimal said...

Yeah. They bad. As in not good. 6 turnovers. Tribe and dukes winning, which is nice.

Mark said...

Stanford is really good. Im gonna ride them and Oregon all year long.

rob said...

tribe/dukes headed for a showdown on 10/26, danimal. it's homecoming in the 'burg. which i just found out i can't attend. that's not awesome at all.

Mark said...

Dance recital?

Danimal said...

You beat me to it.

rob said...

worse. homeowners' association annual meeting. i'm the president. and i missed the last meeting where they scheduled the annual meeting. i may need to go all kim jung un on some motherfuckers.

rob said...

jung, jong. it's all phonetic.

Danimal said...

I am watching this uconn game bc of our little competition.

Danimal said...

Hoa meetings on Saturdays. Neat. And you the president. Neater.

Danimal said...

That is a bullshit call

mayhugh said...

Tribe defense is very legit. If the running game can hold together I like their chances to make the playoffs.

zman said...

I enjoy rooting against Michigan.

Danimal said...

The asu girl in the post is cute.

Danimal said...

This is when I lose my ass....drinking...at night...with the iPad and betting site. It never fails.

Mark said...

Danimal just stopped me in my betting tracks. Thanks.

rob said...

gtb psa. dig it.

rob said...

lsu's gonna blow the doors off alabama if the tide doesn't get its act together on offense. one great performance against texas a&m and a pair of shitburgers.

rob said...

zero 3rd down conversions against colorado state. not very good.

rob said...

i'm a pretty big deal, danimal.

Mark said...

I wouldn't even call the performance against A&M great. I have my doubts about the dominance of Bama's D.

LSU looks like the most balanced team in the SEC. In related news, my trip to Baton Rouge has taken on a different tone than when I booked tickets.

rob said...

yeah. and as the announcers just pointed out, next week's game against ole miss is no walk in the park for the tide.

rob said...

i feel sorry for the gators. and i strongly dislike the gators.

rob said...

third down conversion!

Danimal said...

Oh boy!

zman said...

WoLOLZverines.

Mark said...

Hey Stanford! What the fuck?

zman said...

Ever notice that coaches always "dial up" a blitz, but only blitzes are "dialed"? No one ever dials up Cover 2 for example.

Danimal said...

Uconn lost to Towson. By 15. Michigan pulls this out I believe but my goodness.

Danimal said...

Generous spot

Danimal said...

Smallwood's first name is Yawn by the way.

Danimal said...

Thomas Edison is great and all but how about a commercial about the guy that invented the cheerleader? Am I right?

Danimal said...

This game is now over

Danimal said...

Uconn needs to dial up a play where they score a touchdown.

Mark said...

Dial it up.

rob said...

hello and goodnight, gheorgedom. when you awake tomorrow, another of our number will have reached a stupid and useless birth milestone. technically, he's already reached it. hoping, nay, expecting that he's shithammered in celebratory clarencian normality.

Dave said...

hey gheorghies!
clarence is 43?

amanda young said...

Head Coach David Shaw of Stanford sharing what it takes to develop young people for Life. TEDxStanford.Amanda Vanderpool CEO