Sunday, September 29, 2013

Selfie

It's fair to say that the G:TB community has done it's fair share of experimentation with the fruits of fermentation. We enjoy a tipple from time to time, for certain. (Time to time, in this case, defined as "each day".) One might even argue that we're something of experts on the art of intoxication.

News from Texas, however, threatens to paint us all as mere pikers.
A 61-year-old man — with a history of home-brewing — stumbled into a Texas emergency room complaining of dizziness. Nurses ran a Breathalyzer test. And sure enough, the man's blood alcohol concentration was a whopping 0.37 percent, or almost five times the legal limit for driving in Texas.

There was just one hitch: The man said that he hadn't touched a drop of alcohol that day.
His wife, friends, and doctors were puzzled. The obvious answer: he'd been sneaking drinks, like most mornings for Teejay at the Cracker Factory. But as a pair of clinicians dug into the issue, they found something astounding:
So the team searched the man's belongings for liquor and then isolated him in a hospital room for 24 hours. Throughout the day, he ate carbohydrate-rich foods, and the doctors periodically checked his blood for alcohol. At one point, it rose 0.12 percent.

Eventually, McCarthy and Cordell pinpointed the culprit: an overabundance of brewer's yeast in his gut.

That's right, folks. According to Cordell and McCarthy, the man's intestinal tract was acting like his own internal brewery.

The patient had an infection with , Cordell says. So when he ate or drank a bunch of starch — a bagel, pasta or even a soda — the yeast fermented the sugars into ethanol, and he would get drunk. Essentially, he was brewing beer in his own gut. Cordell and McCarthy the case of "auto-brewery syndrome" a few months ago in the International Journal of Clinical Medicine.
It goes without saying that this paints home-brewing in an entirely different light. And offers more than a few of us an expansive new canvas upon which to express our excuse-making talent.

60 comments:

T.J. said...

Morning Gheorghies.

Danimal said...

Morning.

zman said...

That's a miracle! Like internal combustion only for booze

zman said...

TR, Juan Carlos and I crashed what turned out to be a $125/person charity event last night.

#classy

rob said...

blurgh

Mark said...

See ya, Lane.

Danimal said...

Lane was fired at LAX last night/this morning. He was not allowed on the bus back to campus. Poor fella.

Mark said...

Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.

Clarence said...

I would have preferred sideboob.

zman said...

After name-checking Teaneck while discussing Tamba Hali, FOX plays Warm It Up Kane as they go to commercial. Coincidence? I think not.

Clarence said...

Zman, your Bills have thoroughly outplayed the Raves, but they're keeping it close so as to potentially blow it.

And that wasn't a TD.

zman said...

JPP should sue the guy wo just destroyed his knee. Filthy.

zman said...

Effing Bills.

T.J. said...

Glennon gonna get Greg fired

Clarence said...

Teej, Greg is just a fan of the Bucs. No QB can fire him.

Mark said...

I never thought the Bucs would have a shot at drafting Teddy Bridgewater. Now they may have the best chance of any team in the NFL. Wonderful.

zman said...

Kiko!

zman said...

Is Marrone going to fuck up the clock here?

zman said...

I think he is.

zman said...

Courtney Upshaw!

Clarence said...

Sav Blocca strikes again. Awesome.

zman said...

Sweet Christ I have an ulcer.

Danimal said...

Ummm Mark. Jacksonville?

Clarence said...

Anyone who took the Redskins giving 2 today must hate money.

Danimal said...

I can't beat you with picks but I can beat you in the worst team competiton.

Danimal said...

Competition. Sorry. Sunday buzz is on.

zman said...

Glennon attempted 43 passes in his first career start. Questionable play calling.

Clarence said...

Matt Flynn looking to resuscitate his career. The stage is set perfectly.

rob said...

jeez, the skins.

rob said...

well, there you go

Mark said...

Glennon attempting that many passes is certainly questionable but Doug Martin had 27 carries for 45 yards so its not like the Bucs were ignoring more productive options.

Mark said...

And the Jags are certainly worse than the Bucs but the Jags are openly rebuilding while the Bucs have spent over $100 million and numerous draft picks acquiring players over the past two offseasons and certainly had designs of being a playoff team. So you can make the case they're more pathetic. I don't think they are but a case can be made.

Mark said...

Re: Jacksonville, what's the NFL record for least amount of points scored by a team over the span of a 16 game regular season? Feels like that's in play for the Jags.

T.J. said...

Feel like Kotite Jets might have scored this little.

zman said...

The jets ran Chris Ivory in a sweep on 4th and 1. The only slower RB I've ever seen was Ron Dayne. Bad play call.

zman said...

My bad that wasn't Ivory just anothe really slow guy.

zman said...

Geno fail. Dierdorf is apoplectic.

Danimal said...

The answer is the 92 Seahawks....140 points over a 16 game season.

Danimal said...

Jags have that beat by exactly 1 point per game through today. Here teddy teddy teddy.

Mark said...

Georgia opened as 10.5 point favorites over Tennessee. I immediately tried to bet it but its not available on my site yet. I'll probably check first thing tomorrow morning. Not that I have a gambling problem or anything.

Clarence said...

Mark, betting on Georgia?

Mark said...

Only team I don't bet on is Florida.

zman said...

Why do the pats stockpile draft picks if they just play undrafted rookies?

mayhugh said...

Captain Phillips looks like it's going to be good, but did Tom Hanks just study Mayor Quimby for his accent? Or is he just playing every character as a Boston native now?

zman said...

I told you dawg aw highah!

Clarence said...

And all them politicians, they all lyin' sacks of shit / They say better days upon us but I'm sucking left hind tit

Mark said...

The trailer they showed for Captain Phillips during Breaking Bad last night has me sold. As for Breaking Bad, I watched the final scene twice in a row. Intense.

zman said...

Hey now baby get into my big black car

mayhugh said...

Mark - BB was bliss. I was a little distracted with all of the commercials but the 20 minutes at the end made that only a minor distraction.

Squeaky said...

Weird album release stream from Dr. Dog with a real groundhog. Good music streaming at least.

http://drdogstream.com/

Squeaky said...

And it's all happening right now.

Squeaky said...

Dick move but what do you expect, the guy does run a prostitution website:
http://extramustard.si.com/2013/09/30/guy-promoting-prostitution-site-ruins-world-record-marathon-finish/?sct=hp_t2_a11&eref=sihp

Mark said...

The Clippers are wearing powder blue alternate jerseys this year and they're great. Well except for the fact that they'll be short sleeved jerseys. Worst uniform trend ever.

Clarence said...

Jon Stewart should be amusing tonight, if it's a new show.

rob said...

big gulps, huh?

Mark said...

Greg Schiano. Worst dude ever?

zman said...

Hitler and Stalin would take umbrage. Pol Pot too. Saddam and Osama would be offended as well.

Mark said...

Thanks for taking my question literally. I was hoping that's how this would work out.

Clarence said...

Can someone please make this fat, naked man-belly go away?

Also, the one on my GTB screen.

zman said...

Your wish is my command.