Jason Kidd is regarded as one of the best passing and rebounding point guards in NBA history. He is second all-time in the categories of assists and steals (behind John Stockton in both categories). He led the NBA five times in assists, and his 107 triple-doubles leave him behind only Oscar Robinson and Magic Johnson. As his career progressed, he even learned to shoot from outside. This isn't news to anyone, but I'd just like to review the facts: Jason Kidd is a gifted athlete with astounding reflexes and keen peripheral vision. He also has an uncanny ability to judge how moving objects are going to behave. If anyone could drive drunk, it would be him. But, obviously, this is not the case, as he just received probation for a DWI incident where he ran a Cadillac into a utility pole.
Now I'm not espousing drunk driving, but if I were going to let anyone who'd had a few too many suds get behind the wheel and drive me around, it would be Jason Kidd. Think of his vision! Over 12,000 assists! As a requirement of his sentence, Kidd has to talk to Long Island high school kids about the perils of drunk driving, and I think he should use the aforementioned tack. If he can't drive drunk, then who can?
The crash still boggles my mind, and I wonder if there was some other element at play. Perhaps he was drugged, or maybe someone fouled him as he went into the turn. I think I would still trust him to drive me around, even if he was a little tipsy. The man made nearly 2000 three pointers! There's something fishy about that utility pole. Or maybe I'm just an idiot.
Still . . . though it might not be logical and responsible, there are certain folks who you trust to do a good job, even if they've knocked back a few adult beverages. The Replacements could still put on a great rock show, even if they were three sheets to it. Drunk, sober, or hungover . . . Mickey Mantle could still swat one out of Yankee Stadium. Rob will play a mean game of zoom (have one) at the OBFT, even though he can't walk a straight line. I'll be slurring my words, but I can still throw a dart or a beanbag with deadly accuracy. And despite being well over the legal limit, Clarence will drink you under the table.
What am I trying to say here? I'm not sure. Should we have drunk-driving road tests, to ascertain who is allowed to drink and drive, and who is not? That's probably not a good idea, although that road course (and affiliated bar) would be a fun place to hang out. I guess this incident is just a reminder that things aren't always as they appear, and they are even less so when we are drunk. I really thought that girl I was talking to was cute. And for a few moments, late at night, in that college bar -- she was!
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41 comments:
danimal's in China?
and seriously Dave, you couldn't muster even one label for this post?
In my typical fashion of getting into bands much later than I should, I just started listening to the Replacements a couple months ago. They are great. You can hear how they are the foundation for so much of what came after them. And that's only from listening to Let it Be. And I think you have to have a big pair of drunken balls to call your album that 15 years after the Beatles broke up.
You can hear how they influenced so many other bands (Strokes, Spoons, hair metal, etc). I would write a post on this except I'm far too lazy.'
Former Replacements bassist Tommy Stinson was on Marc Maron's podcast a while back. It's a good review of the rise and fall of the band. Link is below, or you can download it on iTunes.
http://www.wtfpod.com/podcast/episodes/episode_395_-_tommy_stinson
Here Comes a Regular is the best.
Alex Chilton
Waitress in the Sky
The Ledge
Bastards of Young
Skyway
Anywhere's Better Than Here
Left of the Dial
Shooting Dirty Pool
TR, given your enjoyment of things less refined, I'd recommend the bootleg The Shit Hits the Fans. Drunk, sloppy, rocking, awesome. They start a shitload of covers only to quit after half the song. Wish I coulda seen them live.
By Dave's logic, Rod Strickland should've been an above average to good drunk driver. I think we all know how that turned out.
i'm going to confess something. (and i actually tried on this post).
I don't know how to do labels!
TR -- you should also check out led zeppelin and the clash. they are good rock bands, too.
We swarthy Jersey folks should stick together Dave. No potshots allowed. Now go take your fourth shower of the day.
i used to consider myself a pretty good drunk driver. then i came out to my car one morning after driving home from the bar to find an unholy mess of scratches around my driver's side keyhole. because i was so drunk i couldn't insert the key into the lock. that was a tad sobering.
Puns!
Thank The Lord for keyless entry, eh?
Most people I know that are shitty sober drivers turn out to be good drunk drivers.
I'm still looking for more info from Danimal on his Zoots.
danimal is currently in China, z, and can't access GTB
I am 100% serious
The Chinese government hates G:TB!
we're blocked by beijing! freeeedommmmmmm! wolverines!
uswnlt in the World Cup Final on Saturday at 3pm. That's the US women's national lacrosse team. We play Canada. Carry on.
i am a poor sober driver and even worse drunk. but i am a good drunk bicycler.
TR is not a good drunk bicycler. I am not a good drunk.
I am at the Border Station. Feels like I am cheating on Southland. I know Jerry likes it here, but I don't dig it.
clarence, do you recall the great coppertop lounge incident of 1992? fairly certain i drove home after that. not real smart.
After 17 rounds of stingers. Then we went to the Leafe and you put your ex-girlfriend in a headlock while her boyfriend looked on. Amazing -- I was sure you couldn't headlock any adult.
she was an extremely small adult
Dewar's sucks. I am hate-drinking it b/c somebody left it at my place.
Rob - was this your ex-lover?
http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bridget_Powers
Your dedication to drunkenness is impressive.
Drinking beer and grilling grub with Buck in Corolla, NC. Life ain't shabby.
tell buck that teej and i are trying to free danimal from the chinese government.
curse you for making me follow that link, z.
or tr, whichever. should've figured it was tr.
If you REALLY want to depress yourself, go on-line and find out what Chasey Lain looks like now. She's aged worse than Savannah.
savannah, georgia? i dunno, that place has held up pretty well.
Not if you saw it before the War Between the States.
Chasey Lain will remain the same in my mind. I won't ruin my memories of her. Or Kobe Tai. Or Asia Carrera.
I enjoyed the porn as a youngster.
nate silver leaving the nyt to join espn. this is interesting.
He and Jonah Keri are pretty friendly. I think he'll do a lot of baseball. Yay.
The normally lame Yankees lineup is a special kind of awful tonight. Almonte batting 5th and a child named Lillibridge batting 7th. Annus horribilis.
I have to disagree with TR's assessment of Dewars.
Johnny Black > Johnny Red > Dewars
He prefers Johnny Blapanese. Jack Blapanese, actually.
Anus horribilis?
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