For quite a while now, my fans have been requesting a song about community college. And not community college like on the show Community. Real community college. So I took them up on the offer, and though I don't like to brag (actually, I do like to brag . . . but it's because I have self-esteem issues, so it's okay) but I think this may be the most rocking song about community college ever written. It may also be the only rock song with the word "registrar" in it. It is definitely the only rock song with the word "bacteriophage" in it.
This song-- like the one I recorded a few months ago (Cutter) -- is definitely inspired by Hanna Rosin's book The End of Men and the Rise of Women. I am starting to think that Team Male is in serious trouble. Read the book to learn why, but all I can say is: we've had our turn, and we really fucked things up good, so maybe the women will do a better job. Maybe things will end up like Charlotte Perkins Gilman imagined. Boring, but peaceful. In the interim, things will be like this:
Brittany's Going Back to School
Brittany got pregnant at her high school prom,
raised up the baby with some help from her mom.
Twelve years later and the kid is getting old,
wants her own phone and a closet full of clothes
She was making ends meet, working at the bar,
but working at the bar won't get you too far.
She's got to take a trip to the registrar.
Brittany's going back to school.
Community college never looked so cool.
No drunken parties on the lawn.
She's got to commute home, to relieve her mom.
And she just wants to pass.
She caught her Calc teacher checking out her ass.
All these kids seem half her age.
She needs to define bacteriophage.
And if you're wondering where the dad went,
I'll give you a hint.
He's playing Call of Duty in Tim Kerr's basement.
That's where he went.
He really wants to lend a helping hand, be a good man.
But he's trying to so hard to make it in his punk rock band.
At least that's the plan . . .
And Brittany's going back to school.
Community college never looked so cool.
No drunken parties on the lawn.
She's got to commute home, to relieve her mom.
Bacteriophage: a type of virus that infects bacteria
Saturday, July 13, 2013
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23 comments:
i'm perfectly happy to let the women take over, frankly.
Not only do I know what a bacteriophage is, I know that it doesn't rhyme with age.
my friend was pretty bummed we didn't catch anything bigger than a 17-pound catfish last night - he was hoping for 30-pounder. me, i thought the ones we caught were pretty cool specimens.
Did he expect to catch Manti Teo?
It's probably my own self-esteem issues, but when my old bandmate produces a new tune and the main character's name rhymes with mine, I start to wonder if the song is a slag on me, a la John Lennon's "How Do You Sleep?"
After further review, I'm fairly certain it's not.
our boy marcus got 25 in kenner league play today. better be careful lest jt3 start chatting him up.
I just saw Joe Haden's shoe closet on Instagram. He wears the same size as me. And I'm really, really jealous.
that doesn't sound stalkery at all
He's the Adderall guy right?
Your boy Rovell tweeted it out, Rob.
And he did test positive for Adderall. Just makes him like nearly every other kid who went to Florida.
Apparently my anniversary is in three days. Who knew?
Your wife, I'm guessing.
Worst tattoo I've seen so far is a NY Giants Super Bowl themed piece. Poorly conceived and executed. A real shitshow.
Wife and I are sitting in a pitch-black Holiday Inn room, praying my boys pass out in the bed next to us, drinking Stoli and Minute Maid, courtesy of the vending machine.
Not a humblebrag. Just humble. Need to remember cran juice or tonic next time.
you gotta sneak some pics and craft a post. i'd say it's an area of expertise for you.
mark needs to sneak some pics. i'm sure tr's wife and kids are photogenic as hell, but that's not really our thing.
but man, been there, tr. dadlife.
This is why you should get a suite. Or leave the kids in the car overnight.
I was in a similar spot last night, TR. With my daughter sleeping in between the wife and I as I sipped crown.
That's a good idea, Rob. Alas, we leave tomorrow. Also, good pics would be tough to attain from afar with a cell phone.
Sanford is old south. The prosecutor didn't do a great job. Sadly, I'm not surprised.
yeah, i get reasonable doubt in this case. only witness to contradict zimmerman's story is dead. i get the verdict, but i still wish zimmerman were held accountable in some way.
Me too. I have a hard time with the self defense aspect of this. If I get in a fight and am getting my ass kicked is it cool for me to pull out a gun and shoot the guy beating my ass? Oooook.
Gheorghies. Hi.
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