Thursday, May 20, 2010

Saving you from the post below (do not scroll down)

This clip, well, this clip is fantastic. Choreographed dribbling routine set to Neil Diamond's "America" (Hi Kilgore!)? Yes please.

118 comments:

Geoff said...

Eh...bring back the polyps...

Igor said...

Next time on Gheorghe -- Katie Couric's colonoscopy video!

Dan said...

the ball handling leaves a bit to be desired...they've got some work to do really. but much better than the nose innards.

TJ said...

Geoff, the polyps are just a few mouse scrolls away if you really need your fix.

Unbelievably, there might be a sports-related post in our near future...

zman said...

I love the "nasal polyps" tag.

rob said...

of course you do

zman said...

Whatever happened to Kilgore? Is he one of our silent readers?

Geoff said...

No, he reads the blog aloud in his living room.

rob said...

what bizarre ailment/mishap will befall stephen strasburg and thus torpedo yet another deecee team's hopes and dreams? bonus points for working nasal polyps into your answer.

TJ said...

He's a lawyer.
/not joking

zman said...

Being a lawyer will indeed torpedo Strasburg's spirit and morale.

zman said...

After hearing incessant buzz on the interwebs about Gheorghe: The Blog, Strasburg will point his mouse our way and instantly become enthralled by our brilliantly witty content. Then he’ll dig around in the archives and find the nasal polyps photos. The images will shock him into unconsciousness, at which point Dave will abscond with his flaccid body and sew him into the human millipede Dave’s working on at Greasetruck HQ.

The gnats won’t recover. Neither will Strasburg’s bung.

TJ said...

Zman...http://bit.ly/djD9DV

Mark said...

It seems as if all of G:TB is falling apart. The nerve issue affecting my shoulder/elbow/arm has suddenly gotten worse after a week's worth of progress. MRI scheduled for tomorrow morning. Current status: Severely Bumming.

TJ said...

I have walking pneumonia. The cough syrup with codeine almost makes up for the fact that every time I cough/sneeze/laugh it feels like a javelin is being shoved into my right lung.

TJ said...

And rob of course fights the good fight daily against his Achondroplasia.

rob said...

it's true - i do hate spiders

rob said...

senator ben nelson says he's never used an atm, so he doesn't know anything about atm fees. i don't object so much to the fact that he's never used an atm as the fact that he's dumb enough to make that statement in public.

http://pwire.at/a5obSe

Geoff said...

Yes, Sen. Nelson discussed at length on the floor yesterday that he's never used an ATM and that he has no idea what a debit card is. Running as a populist, man of the people is out of the question now, I believe. He is up in 2012, and he has almost no chance of getting reelected.

Igor said...

I had a second bout with MRSA last week and will probably need minor surgery Monday to remove a cyst from my head. Plus, my blood pressure went from always normal to "very high" in the past few months. Oh, and I am really fat.

"Looking good, Igor!"
"Feeling good, Teej!"

rob said...

shouldn't his staff have prepared him better?

Dave said...

the g:tb staff is falling apart, but i admire TR's bravery in posting that. and so . . .

i have a terrible case of oozing poison ivy-- my wife was appalled that i was teaching with it exposed, and just occasionally dabbing it with random pieces of loose-leaf, so she has dressed it for the past few days, but right now it is all flaky and it ITCHES and it is all i can think about (except for the abscess that might be above the tooth i got a root canal in, which may be healed, or may not. but my knee cap seems to be back i place, i was able to play soccer for an hour last sunday, so at least one body part has recovered.)

i'm going to photograph my poison ivy and post it later today.

Dave said...

i can't stop looking at those nose polyps.

Igor said...

Oh, yeah, I also have some wicked crotch rot going on that I will post pictures of after lunch. The crease where thigh meets scrotum is the absolute worst. It's like a crevasse of infection, a manila folder of pus and scab. File this, young intern!

Geoff said...

Rob, they should have...but unlike House members, most Senators go to the floor without a script. They just speak for 20-30 minutes based on a framework...so things can get weird.

As to my physical health, I feel fine. However, our nanny did call in sick today which means my wife and I each took half days and I'm about to head home to take care of two 8 month old infants by myself for 6 hours...which will likely lead to me harming myself.

Geoff said...

Igor...how fat are we talking? 250lbs? 275?

Dan said...

nothing ails me, but i stayed at a holiday inn express last night.
i did however on a recent trip learn of a coworker out in AZ who couldn't come to work b/c of an erection. he was not taking cialis or any of the like...he just had a boner that he couldn't get rid of. he went to the dr and apparently it was a good thing that he did...quite likely would have stroked, no pun intended. the doctor pricked the prick to drain it of blood and other fluids. the young man is fine and in good spirits today thanks to the prick.

Geoff said...

We had a fraternity brother who experienced that problem in 1998. He went to the esteemed W&M health center, where they advised him to pleasure himself. Seriously. He did, and while the act was successful, the turgid member never abated until many hours later.

TJ said...

This thread has derailed...good god.

TJ said...

Dennis, zman, jerry - any maladies you want to share?

KQ said...

I'm at the luxurious VA hospital while my dad is undergoing cataract surgery. If you like, I'll ask if I can sit in and video the procedure.

And Floyd landis admits to using steroids during his entire career. I'm shocked.

TJ said...

Ask for some extra herbal cataract "medicine" please.

Dan said...

floyd is implicating others, including sir lance.

cgormley said...

Landis thing was going to happen at some point. It'll be interesting to see the journals he kept. Supposedly he detailed every workout and drug he did.

Cycling has been out of control when it comes PEDs for a very long time. It amazes me that they still have races. Everyone single one of those guys that places in the top 50 had to have used something over the last 15-20 years. This includes Armstrong. Off soapbox.

Btw, new Band of Horses, The National and Black Keys albums are very good.

Dave said...

thank god i don't have poison ivy on an interminably tumescent erection. or crotch rot in my nose. or any other combination of the abhorrent conditions that have somehow become the new thrust of g:tb.

Geoff said...

And Floyd smoked the second page of the letter...

TJ said...

Dale Peterson is the greatest man alive. http://bit.ly/dCJ2JC

KQ said...

I particularly like the part of his story where the team bus pulls off on a remote road in Spain, feigning engine trouble, while the entire team gets transfusions.

TJ said...

Hey man, get some beer and some cleaning products...

rob said...

i feel top-notch, in some of the best shape of my life, reinforcing the point that the diminutive are the most evolutionarily perfect amongst us. i will now go step in front of a bus.

rob said...

geoff, how many sarah palin-endorsed candidates have actually won elections?

zman said...

That Dale Peterson ad is the funniest thing I've seen in weeks. I'd love to see the story board: close up on Dale; close up of Dale's horse's eyes; close up of Dale's hand brandishing a rifle; pan back to Dale nonchalantly wrapping arm and rifle behind his neck.

Geoff said...

Sad to say every single candidate she has ever endorsed on facebook has won...don't know the number though. The God and guns crowd votes.

Dan said...

landis' next gig - celebrity apprentice.

TJ said...

I heard Sexual Harassment Panda won a barnburner for Assessor in North Slope. Had to be Palin's work.

zman said...

Don't con ... condenscend me man.

TJ said...

I am working on the first ever G:TB interview...with Dale Peterson.

zman said...

Vote Quimby.

TJ said...

http://bit.ly/a00N6o

zman said...

Too bad we don't have pictures on our radio show.

zman said...

http://tinyurl.com/lbyfaz

Dan said...

get'r done teej.
didn't rob interview someone on g:tb?

TJ said...

Yeah, some dude whose mom is giving it up to Delonte West. Forgot his name tho.

Igor said...

Geoff, I went to the doctor 10 days ago and the old-time weights scale got me at 236. Went back this past Monday and the new-fangled electronic one (in the same office) said I was 248.

Either something screwy is going on with the technology, or by the next time you see me, I'm going to be 560 pounds.

Igor said...

I just bought two concert tickets (not code, Teej, the real thing) that were $16 apiece. Including Ticketmaster charge, my total was $52. $20 on $32. Eddie Vedder, you left no mark, my friend.

TJ said...

You scored "Temple of the Dog" tix? Sweet.

Igor said...

I was referring to Eddie's futile crusade against Ticketmaster, but "Hunger Strike" rocked. Vedder and Cornell on the same track? Fuhgeddaboutit.

Geoff said...

Igor, I would hate to be behind you in the Human Centipede.

Dan said...

uhh, yeah...was he a great big fat person?

Geoff said...

Jame Gumb...hell of a dancer...

Dan said...

just teasin bigor!
grow a few more inches and you'll be jus fahn.

TJ said...

/insert erection joke here
/or in Lebron's mom

zman said...

"We had a fraternity brother who experienced that problem in 1998."

How did this get glossed over without comment? What's the story?

Geoff said...

That's pretty much the story. Brian McCaca had an erection that didn't go away for more than 4 hours (no viagara involved). He made the mistake of letting other guys on his floor know, and there was much mockery. He ultimately went to the health center where they told him to try roughing up the suspect. That didn't work. By the late the next morning, the problem had resolved itself.

Dan said...

was the mockery related to the woody or the last name?

TJ said...

A hefty dose of both Daniel.

Geoff said...

That's not his real last name.

TJ said...

Dan doesn't need to know that.

TJ said...

Comment 69 should definitely be about benevolent ninjas:
http://bit.ly/91msA7

Igor said...

G:TB, where you can be the jackass that you are with a low degree of anonymity.

zman said...

I would've gotten away with it too, if not for those meddling ninjas!!

rob said...

and the women that tolerate you for it

Lumpy said...

"guys, i'd really appreciate it if you'd stop calling me mccaca. my name is brian"...

TJ said...

Holy shit, where the hell did Lumpy come from?

zman said...

Salem.

TJ said...

He knows John Black?

Mark said...

I just checked G:TB for the first time in hours and numerous AHLs have been the result. You guys are killing it today, and I haven't even taken any drugs yet. Though, that's about to change...in a big way.

Igor said...

John Black is still on DOOL. Rob is still short the 3 credits he failed for watching John Black (then Roman Brady) every day at 1pm instead of going to his gov't class (which was his major). To look at that little slob then, who knew he'd end up the Vice President of . . . something . . . defense . . . incorporated blah blah affairs . . . strategic . . . something. Kudos.

Dan said...

another post would be divine. still see the first and worst polyp pic which is narsty. gag me with a spoon.

zman said...

I googled DOOL. Do you mean "Days of Our Lives"? If so, am I to honestly believe that rob, whose frattiness is inversely proportional to his stature, religiously watched "Days of Our Lives"? And am I also to believe that he wasn't constantly jammed as a result? Did he bring the TV into the bathroom with him so he could watch with his head in the bowl?

Dan said...

didn't all the lammi's back then watch? the few i know did so religiously. yes homo.

rob said...

i was by no means the only one who enjoyed the cruise of deception during the spring of 1990. easily 12-15 lammies congregated in the pit each day after lunch to dick around and watch dool.

Dan said...

mr. rob - for the benefit of our jury, could you please define "dick around?"

zman said...

This makes me reevaluate everything. Up is down, day is night, sick and rude is healthy and polite.

rob said...

dan, as an example, one time we played a game where dave kicked a soccer ball at the motorcycle helmet clad head of another guy. also, we measured one another's peckers.

Dave said...

kenny asked for that and i delivered what he wanted. best shot of my life-- knocked the helmet clear off his head. but when everyone got addicted to DOOL is when i went cold turkey on TV. never really watched much since that hideous sight of a group of smelly hungover frat guys huddled around a soap opera, day after day after day.

Dave said...

interesting philosophical debate at sentence of dave today.

zman said...

I wonder if the doctor let TR bring his polyp home with him, maybe in a jar of formaldehyde, to show Mrs. TR.

Lumpy said...

so DOOL takes place in a town called salem- not sure how i didnt know that?

Dave said...

so i always go out on thursdays for outdoor drinking, but i help with dinner and the kids first, but tonight i feel like i can go out way earlier because my wife was out last night-- so it's only fair to leave her with all the evening duties.

except that her evening consisted of reading to a friend's kid who had an operation and is in two casts and then going to a PTO meeting. maybe she had a beer afterward with the PTO moms.

am i a bad person?

zman said...

Yes, but only if you're motivated to help with dinner because of the meatballs.

Dan said...

z - if tr can bring the polyps home, and i have no idea what made me think of this - i think should fry 'em up, just to see what they'd look like. could he serve them to someone unknowingly on a plate of calamari? i wonder....
dan's thought of the day.

TJ said...

Is that a Funny Farm joke?

Dan said...

negative. that's a very strange random thought. that just happened.

Igor said...

Dave, that doesn't make you a bad person.

The time you stole the W&M girl's underwear after sexing her up, then took them back and threw them at her in front of her friends after she threatened to press theft charges -- that's what makes you a bad person.

rob said...

and we need another pseudonym. well played, igor.

Igor said...

I want everybody to have a pseudonym and it gets so confusing we have to post a key on G:TB.

First up -- TJ and TR. One of you guys needs a change. Stunted minds like mine sometimes read too quickly and get confused which of you is talking about the gross anatomical stuff and which is quoting RoboCop.

Next up, Dan and Dave. Olympics are over. Get a new name. probably won't be the guy who has a blog with his name in the title and URL.

Dave said...

can we skip the very specific comments until we all have pseudonyms? if i adopt one, i'll also have to change the name of my blog, which might be a pain in the ass . . .

TJ said...

Sentence of Orenthal?

rob said...

musings of dave?

zman said...

I think you can have more than one blogger name, Dave.

TJ said...

Danielle/Geoff agree.

Geoff said...

Leave my cyber cross dressing out of this.

zman said...

I think Dave and Dan and Geoff should goatate their names every few days.

Geoff said...

I've been silently goatating in my living room all afternoon.

zman said...

Yes, but were you posting as Dave? You should be. And Dan should be Geoff and Dave should be Dan.

Geoff said...

No. No I wasn't. To be honest, I never knew it was an option.

Don't con...condenscend me.

Igor said...

Best new app(s) for the iPhone: Dragon search and Dragon dictation. Apparently they have taken the voice recognition technology deeloped for the medical field and plugged it into one app that you can search Google, Wikipedia, YouTube, and several other sites by voice, another that takes dictation and sends it into texts or emails. Hate to be that douche (IGOR never really hates to be that douche), but these are great for in the car. I need Dragon Gheorghe to be developed and I'll never have to type again. Actually, I bet I can cut and paste...

d-train said...

hi.
dan says good bye.
says he's wanted to change his name for a while - "there are only so many "dans" out there he said...

Geoff said...

I'm sure most of the DC residents who frequent this space participated in this survey.

In response "to a youth survey," DC Mayor Adrian Fenty's (D) office announced that "instead of handing out Durex condoms," the city will now hand out "Trojan brand, in the larger, 'Magnum' size" (Washington Examiner).

Igor said...

In the movie Real Genius, the makeup was apparently done by "Zoltan." Zman, Uruguay!

d-train said...

val kilmer. 2010 apple blossom grand marshal.

drexdrago said...

I think I may change my blogger name to Swint.

zman said...

With a name like "Zoltan" I would expect him to be Hungary. For some Turkey.

d-train said...

had a hard time deciding between this and zexy professional, or simply, zexy p
when i get bored with this i'll do that.

d-train said...

no pressure or anything...

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=5205640

TR said...

It appears that, like me, Igor watched Real Genius on Encore Love this morning. I think it's the first time I ever watched the first 10 minutes of the movie. But did Igor have blood trickling out of his nostrils from a wild Thursday? And did he catch himself drooling in a Vicodin-induced haze while watching Gabe Jarret and Val Kilmer yuck it up?

They wouldn't tell me how many polyps they took out, and they didn't let me keep them. I think they resemble capers. The surgeon did enough work to brutalize my nostrils. I think I was DP'd in my right nostril. Not good times.

The Teej said...

Worst. Unicorn Tattoos. Ever. http://bit.ly/d14BVp